Curvy Desires

Chapter 7

Kevi

For the past few days I’ve thrown myself into work and I’ve tried to forget about Aristide. It works during the day when I’m occupied with the boutique or when I’m designing Olympia’s gown but at night I can’t help but think about him.

I know it’s wrong and I should listen to the advice of my friends, and the voice of reason telling me that nothing can ever happen between us. Not even the memory of what happened with my verbally abusive boyfriend from college was enough to squash this unhealthy fixation I have.

On the bright side I’ve been working so hard that I finished Olympia’s gown on Wednesday, three days before the rehearsal dinner. I remembered her visit, she was so excited but after trying on the dress and seeing there was no problem with the fitting. I expected her to run off since she was always busy with the wedding planning. However after wrapping up the dress she stayed and asked to talk to me.

“Kevi, I’ve wanted to talk to you since my last visit here.” At the mention of her last visit I begun blushing because I remember my first encounter with Aristide. There’s no way she won’t know I like her brother now I thought.

“I know you like Aristide and I’m here to tell you I’d be very happy if you two start dating but I can see that you have some insecurities with how you look. I know the feeling, the self-disgust, the what-ifs, and the torture of walking into school and knowing that the bullies will be there waiting.

It’s not a pleasant experience, but it got a little better for me, when the popular girls realized the fat loser was the sister of the hot, rich playboy. From then on many girls fought to be my friends just to get close to Aristide through me. And then to make matters worse Aidon and I became inseparable, he was the only one in Aristide’s group who wasn’t a playboy though he had a lot of girls throwing themselves at him.

And then a few weeks after we started hanging out and declaring ourselves as best friends, the rumors started. Those venom filled lies about me giving up my virginity to him just so he could pretend to be my friend. My so called friends would always tell me and watch, giving me fake sympathy as I cried due to the viciousness of the rumors.

It wasn’t until one day when I heard them laughing and saying that their plan was working did I notice that they were using me. It became so clear to me, the wicked glint in their eyes as they comforted me after spilling a new rumor each one more horrible than the last. The way they would always point out how much I ate and how much that would increase my already unacceptable weight.

The worse experiences was when we went shopping, they would spend endless amounts of time trying on dresses and buying them because they fit into almost anything. Then they would make horrible comments about how the dresses in the plus size section was horrible and I wouldn’t find anything worthwhile over there. Then they’d say it would have been much more fun and a much better trip if I found some clothes to buy saying I was a little too proportioned for that unfortunately .

Every time I went back home after a shopping trip I looked myself in the mirror of my room and cried, hating myself a little more. You would think after hearing they were only using me and started the rumors themselves I would wise up and stop calling them my friends but I didn’t. I was so desperate for friends and they were the only ones I ever had so I made a decision I was going to lose weight and fast.

I secretly bought those weight loss pills and overdosed on it every day, I was losing weight rapidly and they affected my health negatively but I didn’t care. I was losing weight, my life was great, and as long as no one knew it was okay. Then one day my body had taken too much, I collapsed at school and I was rushed to the hospital, hours later when I woke up it was to looks of relief and disappointment from my parents and from Aristide. I couldn’t stand it so when they left to go talk to the doctor I decided to end my life.”

When I heard those words, I gasped in disbelief. Olympia smiled at me sadly but continued. “I wrote a letter to my parents and Aristide, then I wrote one to Aidon who had become my best friend and my first love but he didn’t know it. I didn’t confess my love for him in the letter knowing that if I did he’d feel so much worse when I died if he knew he was my first love and I was trying to lose weight to attract him.

Conveniently for me the medicine storage area was very close to my room so I sneaked in and stole a bottle of sleeping tablets. I had just opened the bottle and was about to put the pills in my mouth when Aidon opened the door to my room holding flowers and smiling. It took him a minute to process everything but when he did, he quickly rushed to take the bottle from me and knock the pills from my hand.

For a moment he said nothing then he sat on the bed and looked at me with an expression of sadness and horror, it was that look from him that finally penetrated my suicide obsessed brain. I remember breaking down and crying in his arms, then the words started pouring out about how my so called friends behaved. I made him promise not to tell my family and from that day on he became my everything.

For the rest of my high school years he made sure he always had time for me and even when he went off to college he made sure to check up in me. College was great, thanks to Aidon I had my confidence back and I made new friends and through it all I fell deeper and deeper for him, but I never told him.

Because despite the fact that I embraced my curves and was confident no guy had ever asked me out, I thought it was because I was more friend material then girlfriend. I didn’t know I was declared off limits by Aristide and I was seen as Aidon’s girl so boys stayed clear of me. Then after I graduated college Aidon changed he started taking me out, buying me flowers treating me like we were dating.

My friends tried to tell me he obviously had feelings for me but after years of him treating me as nothing more than a best friend I was skeptical so I brushed them off. It was better to accept that he didn’t see me as more than a friend than get my hopes up and end up heartbroken from childish hopes.

Then miraculously a guy showed interest in me I started spending more time with him than Aidon because everybody knows that you spend more time with the person you’re in a relationship with to make feelings grow. Aidon never like Dane, my first boyfriend and had warned him on several occasions that if he ever hurt me, he’d have to answer to him.

I found out that Dane was cheating on me because I refused to sleep with him, I was heartbroken, it was my first relationship and it had ended in heartache. Aidon was there for me and the first few days after the incident he actually made sure I was supervised all day because he feared I’d attempt to commit suicide again.

A week after, he showed up to my house drunk and raving about a woman who he was in love with but was too stubborn to admit it and she was too heartbroken for him to tell her. Every word that came from his mouth broke a heart a little bit more and I had to stop myself from crying in front of him. I quickly settled him in my guest bedroom and made sure he was comfortable before heading back to my room to cry myself to sleep.

The next day I woke up to find Aidon in the kitchen cooking a breakfast for me as if I was the one with the hangover. We got talking and he admitted that he really did like someone but was afraid to tell her. I advised him to go after her while my heart shattered into a thousand pieces after hearing him describe her, he portrayed her to be perfect.

Eventually he said he had to leave but before he did he surprised me by kneeling down and declaring his love for me, I was so excited but scared I would mess things up. I couldn’t shut up and kept on blabbering until he kissed me and finally made me stop talking, so far it’s my favorite thing to do with him.

Considering he won’t do more than kiss me, he says he wants to wait for our wedding night, its romantic but can be frustrating. A few weeks he proposed in front of our families at a family barbecue. I kind of hurried up the date, I just can’t wait to marry him and be with him forever.”

She finished with a smile on her face. I kept quiet for several minutes just digesting the information until I thought of something. “Why did you tell me your story? Not that I’m not grateful for the fact that you trust me enough to tell me.

“Oh please, don’t pretend you and my brother weren’t ogling each other, the chemistry and attraction between you two is intense.

I like you, I wouldn’t mind if you married Aristide then we could be sisters for real that would be awesome, and I would get exclusive privileges to your dresses. I could…

I quickly cut her off. “There’s no way your brother would like me, I mean look at me and look at him were too different. He’s Aristide Koures, billionaire, business tycoon and admit it he’s a playboy and he’s not exactly game for playing in fat girl fields. He dates models, actresses, socialites and beautiful women that are always in the spotlight.

What would he see in me a plain, plus size designer who’s nowhere near any of his regular female companions? He’s probably just being nice because I’m your friend, he’s probably forgotten all about me by now.” I’d been repeating those words in my head all week but actually hearing them out loud made me realize that there was no way there would ever be something between us.

I looked at Olympia and saw her watching me with sad eyes. “Kevi, I know what you’re feeling, I’ve been there but always remember it’s your inner beauty that matters the most and you’re beautiful just the way you are. You’re not ready to accept that yet, but believe me when you do you’ll see how much better it feels to be comfortable in your skin.

I just hope my brother can help you realize that, it was nice talking to you and thanks for listening to my story and not judging me a lot of people would have been lecturing me now but from how you’re acting you’ve gone through something just as devastating as what I went through. My brother really has his work cut off for him, but first he has stop wasting time and see you as the amazing woman you are who is perfect for him.

Its time I went I have a few things to sort out for the rehearsal dinner, speaking of it you, Carmen and Gabi are all invited and you must come this is not an invitation but a demand. Your names are on the VIP list so I’ll easily be able to see you when you’re seated. Nice talking to you, I hope to see you at the dinner. With that she gave me a hug and lest the boutique. She also left me wondering if by some miracle Aristide liked me and wanted us to date I’d agree.