Tell Me Your Truths

Chapter 1: Ayla

Three Months Ago

I blow out a breath, exhausted from the move.

My mother sat on the porch swing, staring out into the garden fields where beautiful Chrysanthemums sat on the flower bed that was soon going to wither at the hands of its new owner. I take a mental note to garden once a while since I can't rely on her to keep them blooming. I can't rely on her with anything nowadays following her split from her fiancé a few weeks ago.

I've imagined how this would have played out a million times in my head for so long but a small part of me, a miniscule bit, never wanted for it to come true knowing it would have broken my mother.

Good things always have a price. And unfortunately, that price costed my mother's happiness.

I didn't have the willpower to break my mother's heart and tell her what has been going on in the house she shared with her fiancé. I couldn't.

I hated seeing my mother like this. Shut down, like her body was present but her mind wasn't. Most days our conversation consisted of her nods and one word responses.

Of course, I don't give up. I'm determined not to let her fall under the same rabbit hole she always stumbles down on when something in her life drastically changes.

Breaking up an almost four year relationship that she'd started to become dependent on was as drastic as it gets.

Taking the last bag the cab driver dropped off on the sidewalk, I ascend the steps to the porch. I'm silently grateful that Mom had sold most of her fancy dresses she was never going to use again since it was going to take up too much room space.

Savannah didn't have a job when she was engaged to Charlie and that didn't bother her at all. She was contented with being a housewife and there was nothing wrong with that. At the time, of course, Charlie was the one who was providing for her luxurious demands and her basic needs. But we were on our own now.

The house was a settlement Charlie offered so that we wouldn't take the whole situation to court along with a quarter of a million dollars just to get us up on our feet for a few months. Enough for Mom to find a stable job.

But at the rate she was going right now, I don't think that was going to happen anytime soon. Not to mention she already blew half the settlement money over her . . . debts she had in Sunview. Debts I didn't even know about until she received the money. I think she thought of waiting until Charlie and her got married so he can pay them for her.

I'm glad that I set money aside from the side job I have dealing for Cole. It helped out a lot but that isn't enough to support me and my mother in the long run.

Last week I had applied for a job at the nearby gym and I start next week. It wasn't much, but it is something.

I haven't had the chance to talk to my dad either about our current situation. 

But I doubt he'd care that much. His only obligation was paying half my high school tuition.

I suddenly missed my Honda Civic. Since my car wasn't leased to my name, as my mom initially told me on my sixteenth birthday, Charlie took it back and sold it showing to what extent his asshole stretched.

Dickhead.

My phone vibrates from my back pocket and I take it out to see a text from Sierra.

how was the move? i really wish i was there to help you, ayla. i promise to make it up to you when Julian and I get back home.

I know she wanted to be here to help but I threatened to smack her till kingdom come if she missed Julian's first official gig as a NASCAR driver just to help a looney girl move her three suitcases she could manage in just two trips. This was an important day for her boyfriend and I wasn't going to let her miss that.

I pity the poor fool. She's going to put up with Julian's sour ass for the rest of her life.

don't break a sweat, i was just about done. how's college? had about enough of julian yet?

I sure do miss them sometimes. It just wasn't the same without them. By not the same, I mean the nagging and the bitching if we didn't follow Julian's uptight rules.

I say, sayonara, to that b***h.

nope. with a tongue like his, i'm keeping him for a while ;)

Ew. TMI much?

boundaries, sierra. know the fuckin' boundaries.

I'm all up for their happiness. Just leave out the nasty ass details inside the bedroom lock.

you asked, i answered. and the way he goes so deep...

Yeah, safe to say little Catholic girl just renounced her faith.

okay, im done with this conversation. good luck with your 69nining. not. cherio hoe.

i'll see you soon. love you, xoxo

I pocket my phone and continue my trail to the living room where our pile of belongings sat next to the stairs.

The living room wasn't as big as Charlie's huge house, just the right size not to feel too big or too small. It wasn't like we had frequent visitors coming and going anyway.

I've had my fair share of living inside different sized living rooms and kitchens enough for me not to care where we hunkered down as long as we had a roof over our heads and a hot meal on the table.

I meet my mother sitting on the porch swing. She doesn't meet my eyes.

Strange way to say thank you to the person who burdened five huge ass suitcases into the house but, no problem, I guess.

I give her a smile that goes unnoticed. "How do you like the house, Mom?"

Not that it mattered since we didn't have much of an option anyway, but I wanted her to talk to me. Even just a simple hello would do.

Sometimes, her quietness was so loud.

"I like it," she clipped.

My hand reached out for hers. She closed her fist around mine and at that second, my problems disappeared. But only for a second.

It was always the two of us, no one else. At least that's what I've been telling her. Just us two. Whatever relationships we were involved in, however far apart, it was always just me and her. I like to think that she was going to be my forever, screw boyfriends or husbands. Who needs them when everyday could feel like a slumber party with a roomie?

Though, I don't think she shared my sentiment anymore.

"This is good, Mom. We'll get back on our feet. We always do."

In a world full of constants, a stable living condition was never one. Town after town, house after house, move after move. We always found our footing because we have each other to hold on to. I can't afford to think negatively in life because she's doing enough of that for both of us.

"Look at the garden," I point out as an attempt to get her talking. The garden was small but it was beautiful. At least my mom has something to do when I'm at school or work. "You've always wanted one, right? You can grown your own sunflower or vegetables so we don't have to buy them overpriced—"

"We forgot to buy eggs," she cuts me off.

My heart deflates at her attempt to change the subject. This was always like her. I wouldn't mind so much if not from the fact that she's trying to avoid her problems instead of facing them head on.

I don't push her merely because I don't want her completely shutting down on me.

Nodding, I smile. "I'll head to the grocery store."

I pat her lap, pushing myself up from the swing. She was not going to shut down on me.

I make it halfway to the road before she calls out my name.

For a brief moment, I perk up with hope. Maybe she'd ask to come with me? Tell me not to take long so we could watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother? I can only hope.

"Buy some milk as well."

My smile falls and I give her a thumbs up. I couldn't get her out of her sadness today, at least getting some milk was something I was able to do. I'll try another day.

I walk along the sidewalk toward the nearest bus stop, texting Cole. I needed a ride and some company. He was the only constant I can depend on.

coming, babe, he replied.