Finding Paris

Paris’s POV It’s so cold. Why are they doing this to me? Why me and for what reason? Is it really because of my eyes? Do you really not love me even though I am your blood? Am I really that child you all hate? “You good for nothing girl. You take advantage of kind people and steal food while we leave you at home for 2 hours! I wonder what else you steal from us? From people who took you in when no one wanted you. Get outside now!” she says to me  This voice. I hate hearing this voice. This fake rough wretched voice. I never want to hear it again, but I have no choice. This is the path I was meant to walk.  “Take off your clothes now!” she yells at me I take everything off besides my underwear.  “This is what you get for stealing from us!” she yells again  It’s so cold. The water. I am freezing. It’s cold outside. To feel the piercing cold water from the hose just makes me feel more numb. I am already numb, but that was emotionally, now I am numb physically. Those eyes. The eyes I see in the corner. Are they laughing at me or do they feel sorry for me? Those little eyes. I hope one day she will know that I will forgive her and her mom for the things they do to me.  “Remember little rat. Not a word to your dear uncle! If it wasn’t for him, you would be on the streets or in an orphanage. Be thankful to this family who has provided shelter for you for years, with food and water and a place to shower. No food for 2 days and only water for the rest of your punishment. Now be a good girl and start the fire in the living room for me and change that damn clothes!” she says as I walk away to my somewhat of a room.  I turn and look at myself as I see slashes of the hose on my back in the mirror. If you look really deep into them they look like wings. I trace my fingers down my swollen skin and remember the pain I went through when she whipped me outside in the cold air. If they were real I would fly away and never come back.  It’s been 3 days and uncle has still not come back. He was supposed to come back yesterday and still no word of him. I hope he comes back soon. It’s been days without food and I don’t know how long I will survive this hell of a place. They have moved me upstairs to the attic so that I won’t be in view when friends or family come over. That way I won't run into anyone and embarrass the family. My body is so tiny. I feel like if I fall I will break. I’m so hungry. I want to get some food while everyone is in the kitchen, but that will make things worse and I don’t want this punishment again.  Have you ever had a feeling where you sit down and think of your life and realize you just don’t want to be a part of it? That is a feeling I have everyday since I was 6. Isn’t it sad to have a 6 year old try to just lay down and wish to not wake up? Since then I have lost all hope in life.  I watch children outside playing with their friends and parents while I sit here wishing that was me. I see my own family leave for family gatherings and outings with neighbors and friends as well while I sit here and watch. While I do the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the dogs and the people who live here, I see everyone opening presents around the Christmas tree or all my cousins running to find Easter Eggs. No one invites me, no one cares, yet I smile to see how happy they all are being around each other.  This is my path. This is my date. This is what is of me. I must have pissed off someone in my past life to deserve this.  I turn my head as I hear a knock at the door.  “Uncle!” I say as I rush to hug my dear uncle  “Hey there fairy girl! How’s my favorite pixie of a niece doing?” he asks me “I’m great! I’m so glad you came home. You are a day late!” I say to him about to cry “I know I am sorry. You know that I have to make sure that everything is taken care of in this family so I have to work.” he says to me patting my head  “ I know I just miss you.” I say back to him.  “I got you something!” he says to me as I sit down humbly and wait for him to give me what he has behind his back. He brings out a happy meal from Mcdonalds. I snatch it and then stop to thank him and then start eating.  “Pick a hand, any hand?” he asks me What is this game he is trying to play? I hit the right one.  “You have chosen this!” he says  He brings out a bag and in the bag is a small carousel with fairies instead of horses dancing to music. It’s so pretty and the music is so beautiful.  “When I was in Russia I thought of you when I saw this.” he says back to me  “Thank you uncle.” I say back to him happy as ever.  I will cherish this gift forever.  “You have also won what is in this hand!” he says to me holding out his left hand.  Oh wow he got that for me? “This is the chocolate frog you talked about when you read that wizard book.” he says to me  “You remembered?” I ask “Of course I remember!” he says to me  “Good night Paris and Merry Christmas.” he says back to me and kisses me on my forehead and leaves  This is the best Christmas ever!