Knuckle Up

Covering a lie

Coach Mason didn’t take it as slow on me as I expected. He threw me into the world of real cage fighting. Had me taste the endurance needed to stay in a fight for as long as I have to. Everything was about precision and patience. Something I wasn’t lacking but I was starting to feel the pressure though with the way the fighter he assigned to spar with me was moving at lightning speed towards me. His punches were accurate and did not give anything away with his combos.

He was so good that for the first time in a very long time—I ate mat. I heard coach Mason’s voice faintly in the background as my body hit the ground and I had to focus on protecting myself from getting caught in a chokehold.

It’s been six days and it felt as if I wasn’t getting a hang of things. Every time I moved coach Mason would yell at me for doing something wrong. I was always under the impression that it’s just throwing punches and kicks, and when you get lucky, you ground your opponent with jabs or choke them out.

My other problem was the cage. I kept moving into it—not staying alert and it gives my opponent the opportunity to corner me and shower me with punches. It looks vaguely easy to move away from your opponent while your body is pressed up against the wall of the cage. Nothing about MMA was easy. If you didn’t have the speed or the coordination to stay alert of your surroundings or where your opponents’ feet go, then there is no chance for me to win my first legal fight.

I was regretting making this choice and by the looks, so was coach Mason. He handed me a towel when I exit the cage with my head hanging low and a body that was going to ache. There was no guessing.

“Don’t beat yourself up,” My opponent Ricky encouraged me when he sat down beside me on the bench while I was licking my wounds. “I’ve watched you fight and train with coach Mason. This is only a stepping stone before you get where you want to be,”

“It’s been six stepping stones so far,” I informed him.

He chuckled. “A champion doesn’t get made overnight or in a day. It takes a lot for them to reach the top. Sacrifices they have to make in order to succeed. The top dogs are there for a reason and if you think it only takes one stepping stone to become the best—then I would suggest you might want to rethink this whole thing,”

I stared at him wordlessly and unblinking. He had a point. I was rushing and I thought just because I can land a solid punch—I can beat up whoever stands in my way. “Thanks, I needed some sense to get knocked into me,” I acknowledged and smiled.

“You are good, Sabrina. It’s just you have to take your surroundings into consideration and stop overthinking. It can get rough in there and if you are not focused—you can be the first one out,”

I nodded taking his insight. This moment reminds me too much of Annapolis. A young egotistical boy who is good at fighting but he has an anger problem and it keeps getting in his way. What if I had the same problem? My body was fueled by the rage about my past and I keep focusing on my insecurities that I am standing in my own way.

Coach Mason came over once Ricky left. “Go home. Take a bath. Relax your muscles by either sleeping or meditating through yoga you like so much. Tomorrow is another day,” He handed me a sports drink.

“Am I messing up?” I asked him and got to my feet with a slight winch.

Coach Mason smiled and shook his head. “You were used to freedom, Sabrina. The underground forged a strong warrior out of you and the rules didn’t comply. It’s difficult moving from freedom to a cage. You do have the talent to win this but it’s your mind you have to convince to shut up while your hands and focus take over,”

“Your mind is the one thing that can fuel all of these negative thoughts and it’s easy to believe them,”

He winked at me. “You have a visitor,” I glanced over my shoulder and watched Jared enter the gym with Clay.

His eyes locked with mine and a smile slowly unravel making me want to taste those lips. I don’t know if it was adrenaline talking or the fact that Jared was making it unmanageable for me to keep my feelings in line with his sweet gestures.

“Sabrina?” Clay Agos expressed confusion when his eyes landed on me wearing open knuckle gloves, my whole body covered in sweat and redness from all the punches I took. Jared’s eyes were focusing on my muscular legs and slowly making their way up to my trimmed six-pack.

“You fight?” Clay asked—his eyes were ready to pop out from their sockets.

I beamed. “I do from time to time,” I reached to remove my gloves and pushed them off flexing my hands.

“Damn, we just missed it,” Clay muttered looking at Jared who was staring at me.

“You can watch her next week,” Coach Mason interjected—making me want to strangle him when he revealed my plan once again to Jared.

“What is happening next week?” Jared asked looking from me to coach Mason.

“Uh, I think one of my fighters is looking for me,” He excused himself and left me to explain when he realized what he has done or maybe it was his plan.

“I have an EFC fight,” I answered watching both of their eyes go round with surprise. “Coach Mason received an invite six days ago and we’ve been working on getting me ready,”

Jared’s smile didn’t reach his ears. “You’ve said nothing about it,”

I shrugged. “You know how insecure I feel about sharing my personal life,”

“Why? I think it’s hot that Jared’s personal assistant knows more than just how to throw a punch,” Clay Agos complimented.

“Yeah, it is pretty amazing,” Jared noted.

I grabbed my bag after I shoved my gloves inside. “I should get going. The coach has ordered me to go meditate,” I said to them.

“Meditate?” Clay questioned showing bafflement.

I nodded. “It’s good for the soul and flexibility for the body,” I encouraged. Yoga kind of saved my life and helped me find peace.

“Nah, these are good for the soul,” Clay said raising his hands clenched in fists.

I smiled and raised my shoulder. “Sometimes you have to fight inside of you with finding peace,” I stepped away to head for the exit but Jared softly grasps me by my forearm. His hand going for mine and I almost thought I was imaging it until I felt his palm against mine.

There wasn’t a day that goes by where I think about Jared and me—how we can become a couple but then the ugly monsters from my past come stomping over my fantasies.

“If you need some help, don’t hesitate to ask,” Jared told me—his eyes never leaving mine. I don’t know if he can see what effect he had on me by touching me like this but with the way his eyes gazed deeply into mine—he must have noticed and just decided to temp me.

“You will be the first person I will call if I get approached,” I assured him and wondered why he was touching me like this.

“We still have to talk about why you hid your true identity from me,” He reminded me.

I nodded. “I know but it’s not something I am comfortable talking about—so, I don’t know if I am going to share why I hid my so-called legacy bloodline,”

He chuckled and it was a shame when he let go of my hand. “You are quite the woman, Sabrina,”

“The last time someone told me that, they left me standing at the front door where I was only wearing a shirt as they broke up with me,” You are the quite the woman isn’t a compliment. It’s an insult to them because it only means you are too complex for them and their needs. I wasn’t a nurturing woman with a soft personality and I was far from being delicate and petite.

I was strong from the inside out and not every partner is seeking a woman who can stand on her own feet. It intimidates them.

“I mean it as a compliment. You have all these layers and with every layer I remove, I find another amazing discovery of you. Does it annoy me that I don’t know you how I thought I did? Of course. At the same time, I am enjoying learning,”

“You won’t be saying that when you remove all of my layers. I’ve got rotten ones that will make you cringe and leave,” That’s what they all do. They leave.

“See you tomorrow,” Jared was still my boss and we might have gotten close after I’d beaten up but I had to remember about setting boundaries. Things can get ugly fast if I break the rules and boundaries, I set up to protect not only myself but protect them from me.

“We all have rotten layers, Sabrina. Nobody is perfect and if they give you that impression then just know it’s fake. We’ve all lost or had things happen to us to make us who we are. Without challenges, we will never become tough or see a lie,”

“What if a lie is the only thing that makes a person feel good about themselves?” Why show the truth of your life and how boring it truly is? People lie to get people to like them and once the lie unravels, they leave because of how pathetic your life is.

“Are you lying about things to make you feel better about yourself?” Jared softly asked.

I shook my head. “I am covering a lie by not talking about it,”