Knuckle Up

New move

Coach Mason waited for me at the bus stop as promised. I forged myself to always act and be tough but my emotions got the best of me. My hardened mask shuttered and I felt open to show the fragile side of me which wasn’t something I expressed in many years. I don’t love the feeling of tearing over insults my father spouts.

I could always return to my fists and use them to fight my weaknesses. I stared at the punching bag swinging from side to side in front of me as I still felt the familiar tingles grazing over my knuckles after I took a few swings.

I didn’t want to become like those legacies who once were drowning from their past mistakes and wanted to redeem themselves. I have no attention to redeem myself because I didn’t do anything wrong. The only thing I did wrong was care for my father and tore myself into pieces to look after him. Paused my future plans so that he won’t be arrested while he was out there setting the world on fire with his lies and drinking.

I lowered my head not knowing why I still felt responsible for him, wanting to help him and exhibiting concern for his well-being. Why do I have to be this humble? Why can’t I be isolated and just stop caring about others feeling, and just concentrate on mine?

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?” I didn’t instantly respond to coach Mason’s voice when he entered the empty gym. He let me come with him because he knew very well that I needed to let off some steam.

“The gym is closer to where I work—so, it still gives me more than enough time to get ready,” I was excusing myself from going to work. The right side of my face was still swollen from my father’s punch and bruises formed around my eye and nose when I got to coach Mason’s house.

My poker face falters whenever I try to lie. I will go into work with this ugly bruise around my eye and I will receive questions about it. Questions that aren’t on the list of things I want to explain.

“You are a big fat liar,” Coach Mason reminded me and took the bench I was seated on.

A small smile erupted from the frown on my lips. “You know how I suck at lying,” I already informed Jared that I won’t be making it to work today. Used the line of not feeling well and that he can send me updates on what he wants me to do. I know I was using the privilege of my friendly gesture between my boss and me but it’s only for one day.

He chuckled. “I know you are not my biological daughter but I do pay attention. As a kid I watched you show interest in fighting like your father. You weren’t a violent kid who wanted to hurt others. You respect the arts of fighting, show patience and inner peace,”

“I could never compete in any form of fighting. My father didn’t allow it because he believed I was going to humiliate his name,” I wasn’t the kind of kid who played sports back in the day because I had no interest in any of them. I was the kind who stayed up late to secretly watch UFC.

“Did you only join street fighting because of the money?” Coach Mason asked.

I thought about it and my answer was honest as the ones before. “No,” I could have made a loan at the bank and it would have probably been easier but the underground found me. Reeled me in and played on my weaknesses—my ambition. I could finally compete and prove to myself that I am even better than my father will ever be.

Yet. I was still not happy.

“I have a meeting with an estate agent,” I got to my feet and removed my gloves.

“House hunting already?” Coach Mason asked.

I shook my head. “I am too poor for a house. I am apartment hunting,” I shoved my things into my bag and pulled out my pathetic-for-excuse of a protein shake I got on the way.

“My wife and I agreed to have you stay at our place until you get on your feet,” Coach Mason reassured me and pushed to his feet as well.

“I know but I have my winnings from last night and I really want to get on my own two feet,” I hauled my bag over my shoulder and gave him a nod to thank him for being there for me when I needed someone.

“Just be assured, Sabrina. My wife, Chelsea and I will always be there for you. We will never push you aside,” He guaranteed me which wasn’t necessary.

His wife recovered from ovarian cancer and due to that therapy, she can never have children. Her body couldn’t produce the eggs needed to conceive a baby and it took quite a turn on both of them. Their only option was to adopt and foster. His wife didn’t mind raising kids that weren’t hers but coach Mason felt different. He loved all the kids he fostered like they were his own but it wasn’t the same as raising his own.

“I know and I am very grateful,” I patted his shoulder and walked away. I boarded a bus that dropped me off where I needed to be. I met with the estate agent who showed me an apartment that was only a few blocks away from my workplace.

It was small, but it looked big as it was an open plan. I can actually imagine myself living here even though it didn’t have a view. I can afford it, maybe get a single bed and focus on getting couches next month. I was happy with moving in immediately and getting a few things like a bed, food and kitchen things.

I was getting ready to leave for the gym when they decided to deliver my bed. I thought they forgot something when there was a knock on my door and I didn’t hesitate to open it. My jaw almost scratched the floor when I found Jared on the other side. I felt like shutting it right in his face but his reaction skills were quite on point.

“How?” I struggled to form words and peeked my head out in the hallway as I was confused about how he just showed up when I haven’t even been living here for five hours.

“I tried calling you about ten times since you sent me a text that you are not feeling well,” He brought up a pharmacy bag and I couldn’t handle his humble gesture without feeling selfish.

“How did you find my place?” I stepped forward to stop him from ogling inside. He doesn’t know about my dad, the abuse or my other struggles and I was planning on sharing them with my boss.

“I went over to coach Mason’s gym to see if he would know where you stay or can give me an update on your health but by the look of it…” He paused for a second when his gaze dropped on the bruise around my right eye and he brought up his hand. I flinched slightly when his hand came too close to my face. His fingertips grazed over my skin and I didn’t know how to react to his delicate and warm touch. I turned my head away to hide the bruise and the shameful blush creeping up from my neck and over my cheeks.

“Sorry, I lied,” I apologized.

“What happened?’ He asked.

“Fight, the guy got a bit rough and I was a bit slow but I finished him off,” I hate lying because I am poorly at it but it seems as if he didn't take notice.

“Hope you send him home with two bruised eyes,” Jared at least responded and I hoped I was convincing enough.

“I bruised his ego,” I remarked with a smile.

“You could have told me that you just had to recover from an ugly bruise instead of worrying me that you picked up the flu,” He stated.

“If I told you that I got beaten up, you would have also shown up here with bandages and ice,” I acknowledged with amusement.

He chuckled because he knows I am not lying. I don’t usually take off at work or get sick easily.

“Are you going to invite me in?” He asked gazing over my shoulder.

I exhaled a slightly nervous sigh and stepped aside. “Don’t judge. It’s new. I don’t have much,” Jared falls in the category of the rich but he doesn’t show it off. I didn’t know how he was going to react and I was afraid of him asking me why I suddenly made the move. Once we were done here I had to remind myself to call coach Mason about handing out my new address.