Scandalous Affair (Tagalog/Filipino)

Crown 8 ♛ DINNER

FOR TWO YEARS of living with a brain that bottled empty memories, ngayon lang nakaramdam si Kyra ng gano'ng klaseng sakit. It was so painful that she wanted to crawl out of her skin. Sobrang sakit.

She'd been tough. She forced herself to be brave and to be hard so she could survive the battles she was fighting—the loneliness, and all the doubts and uncertainties corrupting her mind every day of her life. She had to be strong to stand up for herself, to live and to keep fighting. Because no one will do that for her, except herself, and her alone.

Akala niya malakas na siya. Nabuhay siya at nagpatuloy siya dahil malakas siya. Matapang. Pero nagkamali siya.

Kyra found out that she can't tolerate this kind of pain. It bordered to physical pain. Pati paghinga niya, may kasamang kirot. At hindi niya malaman kung bakit.

She just saw Sage with another woman, and it already brought her misery. It's as if she was hit by a lightning. It really shook her. Why?

"There you are."

Nabura ang ngiti sa mukha ni Sage nang lingunin niya ito. A frown creased his forehead as he glanced at the rows of socks she was staring and then his eyes returned to her face.

"What's wrong?" tanong nito.

Saka lang na-realize ni Kyra kung bakit iritado ang boses nito nang pumikit siya at maramdaman ang pamamasa ng pilikmata niya.

"Napasukan lang ng alikabok," palusot niya habang pinupunasan ang mga mata niya. "Akin na 'yan," mahinang sabi niya habang kinukuha rito ang cart saka ibinagsak doon ang hawak niyang mga gulay.

"May idadagdag ka pa rito?" tanong niya habang inaayos ang mga pinamili nila para lang hindi niya ito matingnan. Ayaw niyang makita ni Sage na naapektuhan siya at nasasaktan. Nahihiya siya sa inaakto niya at naguguluhan siya.

"Wala na." Narinig niyang sagot nito.

"Tara na sa counter?" Nauna na siyang maglakad tula-tulak ang cart kahit na hindi pa ito sumasagot.

Dama ni Kyra ang mabibigat na mata ni Sage sa kanya habang nakasunod ito sa likuran niya. Sage didn't say anything and they were silent as they loaded their items hanggang sa paglabas nila ng supermarket.

Kyra couldn't live with this sparring silence. Ano pa kaya kung magkakasama sila ni Sage sa iisang bahay? Why would he even want to live with her? Galit ito sa kanya diba? At paano kung... paano kung iuwi ni Sage ang mga babae nito sa bahay?

Somehow, that thought didn't set well in her stomach. Kung iyon ngang nakita niya sa loob ng supermarket kanina, hindi na niya natagalan, ano pa kaya kung sa loob mismo ng bahay niya?

No, that she can't let happen. She has to keep Sage out of the house, kung gusto pa niyang mabuhay nang matagal.

"Akala ko ba may hindi makapaghintay kang appointment ngayon?" tanong niya kaagad nang makasakay sila sa kotse nito.

"Na-reschedule ko na," simpleng sagot nito habang inaayos ang seatbelt sa katawan nito.

"Hindi mo na dapat ginawa iyon."

Sage stopped. Kumunot ang noo nito saka tumingin sa kanya. "Ang alin?"

Hindi mo na dapat pinagpaliban ang mga bagay na dapat ay ginagawa mo, pepeng sagot niya. Hindi niya magawang isatinig iyon dahil pakiramdam niya, hindi tama.

Isipin lang niyang nasa ibang lugar si Sage at may kasamang ibang babae... nagsisikip na agad ang dibdib niya. It would be hypocrite of her to tell him to go and be with some woman.

Pero hindi na niya hawak ang buhay ni Sage. Ni hindi niya alam kung kasal pa ba sila o hindi. She can't really stop him from being happy. They've been separated for two years, or at least that's what she knows.

Napabuntong hininga si Kyra at sinipat si Sage habang tahimik nitong pinapatakbo ang sasakyan. Hindi pa rin nawawala ang kunot sa noo nito. And then she thought, why did he suddenly decide to move house?

If there's anything she learned about Sage, iyon ay ang pagiging manipulative nito. He always has ulterior motive. And her instinct told her he was up to something.

"Sage, ano ba talaga'ng pinaplano mo?" hindi niya naiwasang itanong. "Bakit gusto mo na lang biglang tumira sa bahay?"

Lalong lumalim ang kunot ng noo nito, ngunit hindi ito umimik. Suddenly, a thought came inside her; that phrase his lawyer included in the contract. Iyon ba iyon? Pero bakit? Para paalisin siya? Pahirapan?

Hindi mapakali, pinili ni Kyra na harapin si Sage at komprotahin. "Tapatin mo nga ako. Gusto mo bang bantayan ako kaya nagdesisyon kang lumipat bigla?"

"What?" Naguguluhan itong bumaling sa kanya. But she wouldn't buy that.

"You know what? Hindi mo naman kailangang gawin iyon, Sage. Kung gusto mo talaga akong alilain at pahirapan, hindi mo na ako kailangang bantayan para tingnan kung ginagawa ko ba ng maayos ang trabaho ko. I can take care of the house." It was theirs to start with kaya hindi na niya kailangan ng ibang tao para gawin iyon.

"What are you saying?" He still fended for innocence.

"'Wag ka nang magkunwari. Lahat pinlano mo simula pa lang. Bakit hindi mo na lang sabihin, ano ba talaga ang binabalak mo?"

Sage laughed a humorless scoff that irritated her more. "You think I wanted to live there just to keep an eye on you? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart." Tumingin ito sa kanya. "You're wrong." At muling itinutok ang mga mata sa daan. "I bought it because I want a place to stay. A house to live in. As much as I liked my condo, mas gusto ko pa rin ang buhay sa isang bahay. The Stanfield manor is too crowded with Zeke's family and Duke's in there. I want my own space," paliwanag nito. "Pero kung ayaw mong mag-stay doon, just tell me. Ayos lang naman sa'kin. I can always tear down the paper so you could look for another buyer."

Blackmail.

He was blackmailing her. Hindi man tahasang sinasabi ni Sage iyon, hindi naman tanga si Kyra para hindi malaman ang ginagawa nito.

Kung hindi siya mananatili sa bahay, hindi bibilhin ni Sage ang bahay. No buyer, no money. And no money means she'll lose everything. At alam iyon ni Sage.

Kahit saang anggulo niya tingnan, talo siya. Wala siyang pagpipilian. Unless if she chooses to be selfish and be a coward. Pero mas nangingibabaw pa rin ang pagmamahal niya sa pamilya niya. Hindi niya kayang pakawalan ang ibang asset ng daddy nila. She would lose too much.

Hindi na lang siya nagsalita at gano'n din si Sage. Silence filled the space of the car, pero ayos lang kay Kyra iyon. It gave her time to think and talk to herself. To weight her decisions carefully.

"Ako na," pigil niya kay Sage nang kunin nito sa kanya ang bitbit niyang mga grocery bags. Nauna na siyang bumaba pagdating nila ng bahay kaya binitbit na niya lahat bago pa makababa si Sage.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sage insisted and took the bags from her hands. Pero sandaling natigilan ito nang may kung ano itong napansin sa mukha niya, particular sa noo niya.

Kyra suddenly felt conscious and naked. Kaya ibinigay na lang niya kay Sage ang mga dala niya at hinayaan sa gusto nito. She quickly stepped back and walked away from him. Pumasok siya sa loob ng bahay at nang makapagtago siya sa kusina ay inayos niya ang buhok niya, mapagtakpan lang ang pilat na iniwan sa kanya ng trahedyang hindi niya maalala.

It was ridiculous, but Kyra just felt like crying. Somehow, that flash of concern she saw in Sage's eyes a while ago touched somewhere deep inside her... a scar that wasn't healed yet.

God, she's an emotional wreck. Kung anu-ano na lang ang nararamdaman niya ngayong araw na 'to. At lahat ng iyon ay dahil sa lalaking hindi niya lubusang kilala.

"Where should I place these?"

Kyra whirled around from surprise. Hindi niya inasahang susundan siya ni Sage sa kusina. Or more likely, she didn't look for an appropriate place to hide.

"Ahm..." she stopped to clear her throat because her voice came out husky from unshed tears. At mas lalo lang iyong ikinadilim ng mukha ni Sage. 'Diyan na." Tinuro niya ang kitchen island sa pagitan nila.

Tahimik na naglakad doon si Sage at saka inilapag ang mga grocery bag. He remained silent fas he stood there watching her and her anxiety was growing by seconds. She suddenly wished he would be as light as he had been back in the grocery. Mas magaan pang pakasamahan iyon kesa sa ganito ito.

"Where did you get that scar?" he suddenly asked and Kyra felt her throat ran dry.

Words intertwined and tangled inside her brain as she searched for a word to say, kahit isa lang. Pero wala ni isang salita ang gustong lumabas sa bibig niya. Where would she start? Kung sa sarili niya, hindi niya alam ang kasagutan.

And then his phone began to ring. "Yes," Sage snapped, not taking his fiercely inquisitive eyes off her pale face. "Okay. I'll be right there."

Doon lang dahan-dahang kumawala ang hiningang pigil-pigil niya nang marinig niya ang sinabi nito. She was grateful for that reprieve. But then, at the back of her mind, she knew Sage won’t let this die. He will be asking questions again in another time, but Kyra wasn't sure if they're both ready for it. Siya, siguro handa na siya. But she still feels that fear. The fear of the unknown. Of what her past might reveal.

Si Sage... she's not sure if he can accept the truth. If he will believe the truth.

And as she watched Sage's car disappear from the view, she just hoped he’d at least believe her. But then, that would mean she’ll need a miracle.

MATAGAL NA TINITIGAN ni Kyra ang niluluto niyang hipon sa kawali. It wasn't a French cuisine. Hindi rin iyon luto ng mga kasambahay nila noon. It was a different dish na ngayon lang niya niluto at nagtataka siyang alam niya.

But she shouldn't be surprised. Madalas nang nangyayari sa kanya ang ganito, na may ginagawa na lang siya bigla na parang natural na sa kanya kahit na noon lang niya nagawa. Katulad na lang ng bigla niyang pagsasalita niya ng French noon.

Nadaan siya no'n sa department store para bumili ng bagong sapatos na gagamitin niya sana sa pag-aapply niya ng trabaho nang makarinig siya ng babaeng nagsasalita ng ibang lenggwahe. Tiningnan niya ito dahil sa 'di niya maipaliwanag na rason ay naiintindihan niya kung ano ang sinasabi nito.

A French woman was asking for a smaller size of the shoe she was holding, pero hindi ito maintindihan ng sales lady. Malapit nang mainis ang babaeng foreigner kaya lumapit na si Kyra at nakipag-usap rito. Until now, it still amazed her how she knew that language, how she was saying the words so fluently like she speaks it all her life.

Noong araw ding iyon niya nakilala si Ms. Charlotte. She immediately told her to apply for a job as a sales lady after the incident, kaya siguro mabilis siyang nakapasok dahil din sa nangyari.

Madalas din siyang nagluluto ng mga putahing basta na lang niyang naaalala. Madalas French food, at sinusulat niya iyon kaagad sa recipe note niya. But tonight... it was this shrimp. Isa na naman siguro itong recipe na napag-aralan niya noon.

"Ano pa nga ba...?" Kinagat niya ulit ang dulo ng ballpen'g hawak niya habang iniisip ang kasunod ng sinusulat niya. "Iyong sauce nga pala." She flipped another page of her recipe note, pero natigil siya nang maramdaman niyang may kasama siya.

"Sage!" Gulat na nabitawan niya ang ballpen niya nang makita itong nakatayo malapit sa niluluto niya. Ni hindi man lang niya ito nakita o narinig na pumasok. She's too engrossed in what she was doing.

Binuksan nito ang lid ng kawali at lumabas ang amoy ng pagkain. Sage closed his eyes as he sniffed it. "Are you cooking for two?" tanong nito pagkatapos takpan ang kawali.

"Uh..." Mabilis na tinatiya ni Kyra ang niluto niyang hipon. "Kasya na siguro 'yan sa dalawa."

"Good. I'm hungry."

"Hindi ka pa ba kumakain?" nagtatakang sinundan niya ito ng tingin habang papalabas ito ng kusina. He suddenly stopped and turned back at her.

"Magugutom ba ako kung kumain na ako?"

"Ang akala ko kasi..." Kumunot ang noo niya. She thought he already had dinner. Hindi niya inasahang uuwi ito ng maaga. Kung hindi ito kumain, anong nangyari sa date nito at ng babaeng linta sa grocery?

"Ah... wala," mabilis na sabi niya nang makita niya ang pagkainip sa mukha nito. "Umupo ka na do'n. Luto na yata 'to." Pagkasabi no'n ay lumabas na ito ng kusina.

Well, naisip ni Kyra habang nakatitig sa kinatatayuan ni Sage kanina. Napahawak siya sa tiyan niya dahil pakiramdam niya parang may kung anong lumubog doon na nagpabigat ng dibdib niya. Kinabahan siya bigla.

Ito ang unang pagkakataong may titikim sa luto niya. At sa lahat pa ng taong pwedeng tumikim, si Sage pa. Hindi tuloy niya alam kung matutuwa pa siyang hindi natuloy ang date nito ngayong gabi. Parang gusto na lang niyang sa labas na lang ito kumain.

Matapos ilapag ang mga pagkain sa mesa ay umupo na rin si Kyra, katapat ang puwesto ni Sage. She silently watched him as he served himself and she felt her stomach dipped a little bit more from the first bite he took.

She was expectant, which was ridiculous. Kahit papaano ay may kompiyansya siya sa sarili niyang kakayanan. Pero habang tumatagal na hindi nagsasalita si Sage, parang nababawasan iyon. Ngunit bago pa tuluyang kainin ng pangamba ang buong sistema niya, Sage suddenly spoke.

"Classic," he finally said. Pero hindi magawang matuwa ni Kyra nang lubos. There’s something in the way he said it. His tone. He sounded like he didn't like it. She doubted if he really did like it at all.

"A-ayaw mo?" she asked tentatively, but Sage just gave her an annoyed look.

What's wrong with him?

Gano'n ba kasama ang lasa ng niluto niya para tingnan siya nito ng gano'n at para mag-iba ang mood nito? Or was it because he’s irritated that he wasn't out with his hot date and he won't get laid tonight?

Well who said he come home early?

"It amazes me..."

Napatitig si Kyra rito. Nagtataka.

"About how you can still perfectly cook what I taught you years ago," he said so calmly before he picked up his glass and sipped some water and all she could do was stare at him in complete disbelief.

Her heartbeat kicked up a rhythm while she tried to dig her brain for a memory, a familiar scenario, a de ja vu. But nothing came in rescue. Just a crashing void of space and blankness.

"You don't remember, you say, so let's take a recap," Sage filled in at hindi nakalusot sa kanya ang pagiging sarcastic ng tono nito. "My mom cooks this particular recipe at hiningi ko iyon para ipagluto ka sa anniversary natin. First anniversary. It's my favorite dish actually. And then, you said you wanted to have the recipe because you wanted to cook for me kaya ibinigay ko sayo. But you never really cooked it or me. Ngayon lang."

Kyra felt speechless for a while. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin niya, but she was sure she didn't feel good about hearing it.

"Sorry, hindi ko—"

"Hindi mo maalala," he continued for her. Now she could clearly hear the bitterness of his words mocking her. Alam niya kung saan na naman pupunta ang usapan nilang ito.

"Pag-aawayan na naman ba natin ang tungkol diyan?"

"Gusto mong maniwala akong nagka-amnesia ka, ‘di ba?" he said with a taunting smirk as he continued to eat.

Kyra inhaled deep as she tried to keep her growing temper down. "Oo, pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n lahat ng alaala ko, nabura," she justified. "Minsan, may mga bagay akong naaalala, mga ginagawa na hindi ko madalas ginagawa. Kagaya nito. Hindi ko alam na..." She trailed off when she noticed Sage stopped eating.

"Are you telling me that you have a case of selective amnesia at ako ang parteng hindi mo maalala?"

Napalunok siya sa paraan ng pagkakatitig ni Sage sa kanya. He’s looking at her, daring her to say one wrong word. Wrong or not. Truth or lie. But she could only speak the truth.

"No," she said shaking her head. "Hindi lang ikaw, Sage. I can't remember the whole year I went to France. Hindi ko maalala kung ano ang mga nangyari noong nando'n ako, kung ano ang ginawa ko, lahat. Nagising na lang akong nasa ospital na ako—"

Sage suddenly pushed away his plate. "I'm done," he said with a clipped tone that volumize his anger and wiped his mouth with the napkin in haste. Tumayo ito sa upuan para umalis pero pinigilan niya ito.

"Sage, just tell me..."

Iritadong tiningnan siya ni Sage. She knew it would be futile to ask him this question when he was in his sore state, pero hindi na niya kayang pigilan ang sarili niya. She needed to ask.

"Why did we end up... like this?"

One corner of his lips tugged in a contemptuous sneer. "Gusto mo talagang malaman? Fine. I'll summarize our marriage to enlighten you then," he said as he leaned down on the table to get his low voice across her side, enough to create a thundering beat in her heart. And then she watched his eyes turned into a blazing fire. "I worshiped you. I was crazy for you that I even offered you a ring, got down on one knee and asked you the question. I adored you, Kyra, but you betrayed me. End. Of. Story."

Walang nagawa si Kyra kun'di ang panoorin si Sage na lumalayo sa kanya. Para siyang pako at sa bawat salita ni Sage na parang martilyong pinupukpok siya, unti-unti siyang nababaon sa kinauupuan niya.

Now she doesn't know if she wanted to know the truth anymore. Kung sa bawat bagay na natutuklasan niya tungkol sa nakaraan niya, siya ang tinuturo nitong masama at nagkasala.