Chapter 3
1893 Words
I finished my third bottle and stared at the entrance. It has been, I don’t know, hours since Nash left, but even his shadow is a no-show. He knows that I am not a patient person. He should be here by now, or I will choose a guy here whether he likes it or not.
Since I am a little drunk with my third bottle, my third, just three, I stood up and went in the middle of the dancing crowd. I let myself get lost with all these people who don’t seem to care about me as much as I do.
Unti-unti ay nawawala na ako sa sarili ko. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang nangyayari sa paligid pero wala na akong pakialam. Nash told me that this place is safe. At kung may ayaw man ang isang tao ay irerespeto sila ng lahat.
That sounds too good to be true for me. But well, I am looking for someone willing to have a one-night stand with me, so I don’t care either way. Tutal ay mukhang hindi naman darating ang irereto sa ‘kin ni Nash ay bahala na siya. I can’t wait for them forever.
I scowled before exiting the dance floor. Um-order ako ng isang baso ng tequila. The bartender gave it to me right away without a question which I gladly took. Kinalahati ko iyon sa isang tungga lang.
For some reason, I am so pissed off. Hindi ko alam kung kanino o saan, basta ay kumukulo ang dugo ko. I am not the type of person na bigla-bigla na lang nagwawala kapag mainit ang ulo kaya tinuon ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa pag-inom.
Siguro dahil hindi ko matanggap na iniwan na lang ako basta ni Nash dito mag-isa at ni hindi man lang sinabi sa ‘kin kung ano man ang problema niya. Pwede rin namang dahil tigang lang ako kaya pikon na pikon. Posible ring nararamdaman ko ito dahil kahit ilang lalaki pa ang madapuan ng tingin ko ay wala akong matipuhan.
What the hell is wrong with me? Am I the problem? Am I not attractive enough to lure men or at least a single man? Wala na ba talagang tatanggap sa ‘kin?
Argh! You are such a drama queen, Nathalie. I am so disgusted with you right now.
I stood, ready to leave when my world spun around me like there’s an earthquake.
“Woah! Easy.”
Mabuti na lang at nakahawak agad ako sa isang braso na naka-extend sa harap ko. He also helped me carry myself dahil hindi ko na talaga kayang buhatin pa ang sarili ko. The whole place is like a roller coaster for me right now and it just won’t stop spinning.
“Thank you,” sambit ko, “and sorry. I guess I am drunk.”
“Let me get you a glass of water to help you sober a little.”
Tumango lang ako.
It was just for a while, but I smelled his expensive perfume which lingers to my nose, inviting and seducing me. I am a sucker for guys who smell good, and this guys is one of them.
He guided me towards an empty seat while I grabbed a handful of my hair to lessen the spinning of my surroundings. I tried focusing my attention on the glass in front of me pero pati iyon ay para bang umaalon. I am so going to regret this tomorrow!
“Here.” The guy handed me a glass of water before sitting beside me. Sinigurado niyang may tamang distansya sa pagitan naming dalawa habang pinanonood niya akong inumin ang tubig na bigay niya.
Umiwas na lang muna ako ng tingin at saka tinungga ang ibinigay niya. Hindi nawala ang pag-ikot ng mundo ko sa pag-inom ng tubig pero mabuti na lang at nabawasan iyon kahit papaano. Iyon nga lang, naalala ko na naman ang pang-iwan sa ‘kin ni Nash.
“If you’re feeling okay, I guess I’ll be leaving,” ani lalaki sa tabi ko.
Akmang aalis na siya nang pigilan ko siya gamit ang paghawak sa dulo ng itim niyang coat. “Are you free tonight?” Huminga ako nang malalim. “Can we talk for a moment? That’s if you’re not busy, though.”
Dahan-dahan naman siyang tumango at bumalik sa kinauupuan. He ordered himself a glass of Martini but didn’t start talking right away. Like me, he must be feeling a little awkward because of how we met. I don’t even know why I made him stay.
As I stare at my glass of water, I finally realized that maybe, just maybe, this is the right time for me to ask someone. It is possible that this guy can give me what I want if only I ask him. But the problem is, I don’t know how to open that topic to a stranger.
Talking about having a baby with my best friend is different from talking about it to a stranger, whom I just exchanged a few words a while ago. Isa pa, wala pang kalahating oras bago kami nagkita. I don’t even know his name yet.
What should I do?
“So, is it about a guy?” he asked when I thought no one would.
“Huh?” Hindi agad nag-sink in sa ‘kin kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin kaya napatango ako agad nang ma-realize. “No. Yes. I don’t know.” Natawa pa ako bago inubos ang laman ng baso ko dahil hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko.
I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I should be here, having fun, and looking for a potential guy who can give me a baby. But here I am, sulking over my best friend who just left me and never returned for hours. I really shouldn’t be acting like this.
“It’s about a guy, then, I am sure.”
Ngayon ko lang napansin na kakaiba ang accent niya. I never heard of him saying a tagalog word either. Para siyang American na medyo British dahil minsan ay mahirap intindihin ang sinasabi niya. I grew up in the states, so I can distinguish whether someone is an American or a British.
“You can say that.” Humarap ako sa kaniya at nagpatuloy, “You don’t sound like a Filipino. Where are you from?”
“From Arizona, but my mom’s British. My name is Erick. And you? You also don’t sound like a Filipina.”
I laughed. “I am a Filipina. I’m Nathalie. I just grew up in the states, California.”
“Wow! We’re practically neighbors.”
I laughed with him. “I know. I went back here to the Philippines for my grandma when I was Twelve. I came to love it here, so I didn’t plan on going back to the states.”
“I know what you mean.” He smiled towards me. Nakaharap na rin ang buong katawan niya sa direksyon ko kaya hindi ko na rin mapigilan. I am slowly becoming comfortable with his presence too. “I came here because of business, but it has been two months since it ended, yet I’m still here.”
“It’s more fun in the Philippines!” bulalas ko.
Pareho kaming natawa sa sinabi ko kahit wala naman talagang nakakatawa. Maybe because I’m drunk, I don’t know about him, in any case.
“You know,” panimula ko, “I came here with my best friend.”
Nilingon naman niya ang paligid na para bang may hinahanap. “Where is he, then?”
Pagak akong natawa pero kalaunan ay nawala rin ang ngiti sa mga labi ko. “He left. He didn’t return. He isn’t even texting me where he is. He ditched me!”
“That sucks.”
I heaved a sigh. “It does. But you know, I won’t let that make me sad. I am still going to do what I originally planned when I came here.”
He didn’t say anything, but instead, he looked at me intently.
“You know,” I continued, “architects are great with planning. We are, how can I say this, architects risk their lives for plans. We won’t approve a project no matter how small the mistake we encounter because we know that the smallest errors can kill lives.”
I shrugged. “That’s just how we are. Before we know it, we are already applying that habit to every aspect of our lives. So, I can’t ruin this plan. No one can stop me because I am the boss of my life.”
His eyebrows are a little creased like he wanted to say something, but he did not. He just stared at me and waited for what I was about to say.
His eyes were ocean blue. Compared to Nash’s lustrous eyes, his were calming, like staring at it would make me feel at ease. At iyon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I feel at peace while staring at him. It was a good thing I didn’t drown into it like I do whenever I gaze at Nash.
“Are you willing to have s*x with me?”
Unlike Nash, who spit his drink when he heard that, this guy smiled. “I knew you’d ask that.”
I scoffed. “What is that suppose to mean?” I retorted, a little upset with what he said. “Do I look like someone who always says something like this?”
His hand immediately flew up in a defensive move. Bigla siyang nataranta nang dahil sa hindi malamang dahilan. “No! No, don’t get me wrong. That’s not what I mean, Nathalie, I mean it. I just...” He trailed on his thought. “I don’t know how to explain, sorry. But it’s really not what I mean, okay?”
I rested my back on the chair and stared at him with unfocused eyes. “You think I will believe a stranger’s words?”
“Well, of course not. But that’s what strangers are for. We can tell them our secrets without worrying about anything because, well, we’re strangers.”
I snorted, and for some reason, it became a heartily laugh. He looked at me weirdly, but I didn’t stop laughing. Kahit ang bartender ay napakunot ang noo dahil sa bigla kong pagtawa.
Nang mahimasmasan ako ay saka ko lang ulit binalik ang tingin sa kaniya. “What is your plan, then? I am guessing that you are willing to do it.”
Umayos siya sa pagkakaupo at muling humarap sa ‘kin. “You told me you’re an architect, right?”
Tumango ako pero hindi nagsalita.
“Then, I am also guessing that in exchange for having s*x, money isn’t involved? You don’t need it, ‘cause I know you have plenty of it.”
“Yeah, you just have to give me a baby.”
Napalunok siya sa sinabi ko pero matapos huminga nang malalim ay tinitigan na ako. “I am going to need your help, then.”
Naningkit ang mga mata ko, medyo nag-aalangan sa gusto niyang mangyari. “I need to know your terms. Where can we talk about this?”
Napatango siya at saka tumayo mula sa upuan niya. “I will book a room here. Wait for me there.”
- Writer
