Never meant to be

Chapter 3

I really do not want to wake up from this. I would prefer to be in this state forever than to wake up and face reality. A reality in which I was Zayn's wife, a reality in which my sister had left me to be fed to the vultures, a reality in which my parents literally sacrificed me on the altar to save their faces. Worst of it, a reality where there was no Mark.

A pain shot through my chest as the thought of him. Mark, Mark, Mark. Would he ever find out about what happened to me? Would he ever believe me if one day I told him the truth? Would he hate me? I loved him so much, could he at least be able to see that.? The questions made my head hurt and I felt the migraine returns severely. My head felt like it was being crushed with the weight of a thousand boulders and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let out a low scream and I felt someone lowered and hovered over me protectively and I shivered inwardly at the size of him. He bent above me as I lay on the bed, his features masked by the lack of light in the room. I couldn't see the expression on his face, was he angry, annoyed or worried?

“What's wrong Amelia?” he asked softly and knelt beside the bed. He was so close I could smell his cologne, an expensive one at that. Mark doesn't smell like that, not like the rich people, he had his own unique warm scent. I immediately pushed the thoughts out of my head.

“My head…….” I managed to say in between the spasms of pain that was now all over my body.

“Here, take this. It will make the pain go away” the doctor said handing over some pills.

Zayn helped me sit upright and noticed weak the pain has made me. He made me open my mouth and placed the pills inside it and then placed a glass of water on my mouth, forcing me to drink. The simple act of kindness was all it took for my guilt to come back and haunt me again.

Voluntarily or not, I had taken a place in Zayn's life that was never meant for me. I had pounced into his world against his will and now he has to live with this and bear the brunt. My sister, my own flesh and blood had ruined his life because of her selfishness. He doesn't deserve what she had done to him.

After laying me down carefully, Zayn walked out of the room, switching off the bedside lamp as he left. The last thought that crossed my mind before the sleeping pills began to take effect was how unusual it was for someone to be so fond of the dark. Not a single illuminated his way as he walked out so easily in the dark. Is that how he perceived his life to be now? Full of darkness. Was there no room for light in his life anymore? Was all these my fault? Should I have ran away too when my family wanted me to do this?

I woke up with a start, my breathing considerable heavy and my eyes puffy and red. Had I cried myself to sleep? Apparently, I had. Mostly, I tried not to sleep at all because the less I slept, the fewer nightmares I had. It had been the same thing, over and over again. Walls closing in on me, Mark standing on the other side with a window being a barrier that I always tried to break but then it keeps closing in on me and I always wake up, screaming for release.

I wondered if Zayn heard the screaming, if it had any effect on him. Since the day the doctor came to see me, Zayn and I had not met again. I was glad for once that in the huge house, two people could live together without having to see each other. He lived on the first floor and my room wws on the upper one. It was convenient for both of us since Zayn could come and go as he pleased and I could enjoy the solitude. The only people I've interact with are the staffs, a woman who would come and clean and a butler who would come to serve me food. I so hate being waited upon but something in me hasn't allowed me to leave the confines of my room.

The house wasn't mine, I don't belong here. I had no right to walk around the place like I owned it.

I pulled the robe around myself, I was shivering in my silk nightgown. My things had been sent from the house and I had quite a break down the day they'd arrived. My clothes, books,shoes and photographs. I laughed bitterly seeing they hadn't sent a single thing which could possibly relate to Mark. The gifts he'd given me, a framed photo, the teddy bears, the jewelries,none of it was there. My mother must have thought that it was for the better, if only she had knew that my new life was more like purgotary, maybe she'd have had some pity on me and sent over the things that reminded me of the good memories I had with Mark.

I walked to the balcony that was attached to my room and took in the fresh morning air. Everyday I woke up to hope that something had changed and that I'd finally leant to accept this place as my new home but, it didn't. The Lyon's mansion stood as rigid as ever as something I'd never accept and would never accept me. It was loyal to it's owner afterwards.

The sound of screeching tyres made me jolt and I looked down to see Zayn's Ferrari racing through the gate into the compound. Wait, had he been out all night? I gazed at the red vehicle, waiting for it's owner to emerge, so imagine my surprise when the first person to step out of the car was wearing high heels and holding a white clutch.

My heart stopped for a moment!