Never meant to be

Chapter 6

With trembling hands, I grabbed the Styrofoam cup that Zayn handed to me. My entire body was shaking and I knew I was close to hyperventilation, I looked up gratefully to the tall figure hovering above me and I gulped down the lukewarm water hungrily. We were sitting in the waiting lounge now, awaiting the announcement of our flight but boarding that plane is the last thing on either of us minds right now.

Sarah, being the drama queen she always was had existed our dramatic confrontation and leaving me to pick up the pieces. Though it wasn't what Zayn was going to say or do that worries me, the only thing I could think about was how Sarah was going to tell everything to Mark. I'd have told him eventually, but finding out the way he was going to was the last thing I wanted. I didn't even want to imagine the look on his face when he finds out; I wasn't scared for myself, all I wanted was to prevent him from the pain of knowing.

Zayn sat down next to me, moving rather awkwardly to create enough space between us. Neither of us has said a word but I could tell from his countenance that he has a million questions to ask me right now. If it'd been someone else, I would have just asked them to spit it out but with Zayn, I felt as if I had to maintain a certain level of decorum and that I could never step out of line. I'd always seen him as the guy who would marry my elder sister and I would never gotten rid of the shyness and awkwardness that I felt around him.

“You were with someone when we… when we uhmmm, got married?” he asked, his voice so low that it seemed I'd imagined the question in my head.

I nodded slightly and gulped, trying to get rid of the choking feeling in my throat. Here it was, the time to tell him everything and honestly, I'd rather be doing this explanation to Mark right now. I wondered if telling Zayn would change his behaviors towards me. If he found out that he wasn't the only one to lose someone he loved then maybe he'd make an attempt to make things better between us.

“Does he know that you……?”

I shook my head. “I haven't told him, I couldn't bring myself to do it,” I said in a small voice. Hating myself for having to admit what I've done.

“Is that why you broke your phone? You weren't planning on ever telling, were you?” He asked, as understanding dawned on him and I groaned. Why does he want to find out all about me all of a sudden? I was beginning to think it was better when he treated me like I didn't exist.

“Amelia…” Zayn groaned, gripping his forehead, “you don't do that to people,” he said and let his head fell to his knees. I knew what he meant; by not telling Mark about what had happened, I'd acted like a big coward but it was a better alternative than breaking the heart of the one who has done nothing but love me.

“I'm sorry I didn't know there was proper way to let your boyfriend know that you married someone else.” I said, my tone curter than I wanted it to be.

The Zayn I knew would have reprimanded me, given me an equally bitter answer but somehow he remained quite and I was appreciative of that. My head wasn't in the right place and I didn't want to say to or do something that i’d regret later. Things were bad enough with Zayn as it was and I didn't want to do anything to deteriorate that.

“Did you love him?” he asked me after a while and I decided it was no use hiding it.

“More than you can imagine.” I let out a bitter laugh but something bugged me. He'd asked me did you love him, it was like he was referring to the past. I still loved Mark, and I'll always love him and I'm sure my feelings for him would never change.

Next to me, Zayn sighed and at the same time an announcement was made, signaling the plane was ready for boarding. I quickly grabbed all my things and headed to join the line that was already starting to form. I couldn't believe that conversation that we just had. I was discussing my love life with a guy I married; that couldn't be normal could it?

A guy separated me and Zayn in the line and the distance was calming. I took out my documents, my hands fumbling with all the pieces of the papers until they all fall to the ground. The guy behind me picked them up before I could even get down to do it myself as he handed them to me, he squeezed my hand and gave me a toothly grin. Immediately I pulled back from him; the look in his eyes and the smell of his breath told me he was drunk.

“What, a guy don't even get a thank you?” he slurred and I retreated farther away from him till I barged into the woman standing in front of me. She turned around and looked at me, muttering b***h. Great, now I was stuck between a drunk and a real life Regina George. The guy didn't take my moving away from him as a sign that he creeps me out as he moves closer and whispered, a chill running down my spine as he spoke.

“You know you look mighty fine and that ass…” he sucked in a breath as his hands trailed down my lower back. I whimpered at the lust in his voice, his touch making me feel disgusted and dirty. I closed my eyes, praying he'd leave me alone.

A loud bang made me open my eyes as I turned to see Zayn throwing a punch at the drunken man who ended up on the ground with a loud thud and blood oozing from his nose. Zayn towered over him, his foot resting on the man's stomach, his weight crushing on him. My eyes widened at the scene before me.

“You touch her one more time and you'd be begging me to kill you,” Zayn growled at him and the man on the floor shook his head vigorously, looking scared out of his wits. He sobered up pretty quickly, I thought to myself. I rushed to Zayn's side and he immediately directed his attention to me. “Are you okay?” he asked and I nodded, not looking at his face but his bruised knuckles. The security had arrived by then and were picking up the man from the ground roughly. None of them asked Zayn any questions; even they knew who he was, who we were, and that granted some benefits.

I took hold of Zayn's hand, trailing my fingers on over the bruises.

“You didn't need to do that” I whispered, afraid to look into his eyes which I knew for a fact were staring at me. He pulled his hand away from mine and walked over to the line; this time I stood next to him. I would have clunged to his arms had it been a much appropriate idea.

“I might not be the love of your life Amelia, but it is my duty to protect you whether you like it or not.”

Was it wrong to say that hearing him say those words made me feel, for the first time, in what seemed like a long time, that I could be safe and nothing could harm me. But what if he becomes the person who could harm me? Could Zayn protect me from himself?