Tidbits of Love

Let It Hurt-2

A horse nickered softly while Caleb Hart made his way slowly down the barn aisle. His senses were overrun with the atmosphere of the stable, from the smell of hay and horses and leather to the sound of the coach instructing her student and the rush of water as someone bathed their mount after a ride. As he bypassed a number of stalls, most of the occupants in at the late afternoon hour, he couldn’t help thinking how out of place he and his horse happened to be. There were jumpers and dressage riders, even a few who liked to play cowboy and ride western. But his gelding, a big, thick-boned bay half draft, occupied his days with an entirely different job.

Caleb stopped before Highlander’s stall, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. The bay looked up, ears flicking, water dripping from his lips, having just enjoyed a hearty drink. Caleb slipped into the stall, mindful of the door, and approached his friend. He said nothing as he rested his forehead against Highlander’s and loosely wrapped his arms around the horse’s big head.

With eyes closed, he stood there breathing in the scent of horse and letting his mind wander. It had been hard to concentrate on work-related tasks, when all he could think about was the argument he had with his man earlier that morning. Over something stupid, no doubt, as he could no longer even recall what got the ball rolling.

But things were said, some of them very unpleasant, and just thinking of the way he ended it sent cracks racing across his heart.

Maybe this was wrong.

Just thinking it made him flinch, his eyes burning with the threat of tears. In all their years together, of which there were plenty, he always made it a habit of leaving for work by planting a kiss on his lover’s cheek, whispering sweet words in the man’s ear, and then making the solemn promise to return home when his shifted ended.

In his line of work he learned awfully fast how uncertain day-to-day life could be, that he wasn’t guaranteed a never ending story of happiness. It could all be torn away in the blink of an eye. So why had he said such a hurtful thing?

Highlander shifted and Caleb kissed his forehead.

“Thank you for another day of duty, buddy.”

Giving the gelding one last pat on the neck, he stepped out of the stall, secured the door, and left Highlander to munch on a few flakes of hay. Tomorrow he would saddle up again and they would do their best to keep the people of the city safe.

One of the other boarders waved and smiled as they passed in the aisle, a cell phone pressed to one ear. Unlike her casual outfit of jeans and a T-shirt with low ankle boots, Caleb wore his standard work attire. His shirt looked like those worn by every other uniformed police officer, complete with a black tie, the badge pinned to his chest, his name tag, and the county police insignia on both sleeves. And though he maintained the typical policeman’s utility belt, he wore black riding breeches instead of slacks and finished the look with thigh-high riding boots. Caleb had been on the police force going on ten years now, having joined the mounted unit as soon as possible and never looking back.

In fact, it was while out on patrol one afternoon that he stumbled across the brightest spot in his future.

Another pang of guilt over the morning’s argument threatened to bring forth tears.

Leaving the barn for the coolness of dusk, Caleb wracked his brain trying to think of the most appropriate way to apologize for the wrong he’d done. He loved his significant other with all his heart and soul and what they had, what they were; he never considered it a mistake. Foolishly, he had just wanted to hurt his partner, nothing more, and the guilt of it had been slowly gnawing away at him all day like a termite on a rotting barn.

A swift breeze rustled the leaves, a few more floating slowly toward the blanket already covering the ground. Caleb hit the button on his key fob, the lights of the pickup truck flashing. Halfway across the gravel lot, he drew to a halt as the sound of sirens not too far off in the distance could be heard. Their familiar whine sent his heart racing, caused his muscles to tense, his body trained to respond, and a second later he reminded himself the work day was over. He was no longer on shift. Though, should he cross the scene of whatever it was on his way back home, he might offer a little support to his law-enforcement brothers.

The phone in his pocket began to vibrate.

Caleb stopped outside his truck, hand on the door.

Surely it was nothing more than a simple phone call, and he’d certainly been waiting all day to hear from his lover, so why did he feel a sense of foreboding? Almost reluctantly, Caleb retrieved the device from his pocket. The screen displayed an unfamiliar number, and he pressed the talk button. He barely managed to choke out a hello before the person on the other end told him about an accident, one that turned out to be not too far off from where he was—those stupid singing sirens—and his heart plummeted into his stomach.

The moments after that happened in a blur as he climbed into the truck, throwing his phone onto the passenger seat.

His mind raced, but not one single thought stood out. Somehow, he managed to get the truck out of the parking lot and down the drive without a mishap, himself. Before pulling onto the two-lane road, he closed his eyes, let out a slow measured breath, and loosened his hold on the steering wheel. Getting into an accident of his own would be doing nobody any favors. Recalling his training, he kept the panic under control—barely—as he raced toward the accident.

It wasn’t long before emergency vehicles came into view and he was pulling onto the shoulder of the road.

Leo’s car was down in the ditch, the front end looking none too pretty and the windshield cracked.

The sight of the ambulance gave him a moment’s pause, if it had remained on the scene…

Caleb made his way over, the fact that he was still in his uniform keeping other officers from stopping him, not that it would have done them any good to try. He focused solely on the big, white-and-red vehicle with its lights swirling silently, and the rest of the world faded away. His mouth had gone dry and he could feel every beat of his heart as it threatened to hammer its way right out of his chest. Blood roared as it rushed through his ears. Unshed tears pricked his eyes.

Please, please, please, he silently prayed, don’t let him be gone, don’t let those be the last words I said to him.

He rounded the back side of the ambulance.

And there was Leo sitting in the back getting fawned over by one of the paramedics. Blood oozed from a cut above his left eye, and already the shadowing of what promised to be a beautiful bruise had taken up root around the other. There were specks of red, though not any great amount, on his shirt and Caleb figured he was more battered and bruised than anything else. What a blessing.

At the sight of him, Leo squirmed free of the paramedic and practically dove into his embrace. He held Leo tightly, the tears he’d been holding back finally managing to spring forth. For a moment neither of them spoke. In fact, nobody said a word, not even the paramedic who sat quietly by giving them as much privacy as she could manage.

“I’m sorry, I never meant it, never,” Caleb rasped, afraid that if he let Leo go he would somehow lose that which he held most precious. “You aren’t a mistake, we aren’t.”

“Please,” Leo implored softly, “just take me home.”