At Her Oasis

Lucien I bounded after Eli and Alaric as they raced ahead. Wait, I linked. For whatever reason, I had been born with an acute sense of hearing – most likely to hear the s**t people said about me behind my back, though I couldn’t say I didn’t deserve most of it. They all stopped at my request and I heard a low, painful moan. We all turned as one to the east, sprinting in the direction of the noise. As we drew nearer, I could smell the most delicious, fresh fragrance of passionfruit, the way it smelled when it was being baked into our bread, or churned into a mouthwatering jam. The scent grew strong as we broke into a clearing, freezing for a moment at the commotion in front of us. Kai lay on the floor, the guard surrounding him. I saw Eli shift, calling Leela’s name as he sought the one person who didn’t seem to be present. But my eyes went straight to Sakina. I glowered at the Osha princess as I went to her. Surely, she had something to do with this. But the noise faded into nothingness as Sakina lay sprawled on the ground, clutching a gaping wound at her stomach. I nuzzled her gently with my nose. Her light brown eyes fluttered upwards and I saw what looked like recognition as she whimpered. My heart thundered as the blood rushed to my ears. Mate. My mate. She was dying. We need to get them to healers. She wasn’t going to make it. F*cking f*ck. Of course she wasn’t. I had found my mate and she would die here, in my arms. I could hear Kai’s short gasps as he fought for his own life. I would lose my mate and my youngest brother on the same night. I heard Princess Orsa say something about the guard and I turned to see Eli glaring at Sakina. I bristled, barely containing the low growl that threatened to escape me as I stood over her. Alaric had shifted into his human form, and he lifted Sakina onto my back. Hold on, Sakina. She moaned weakly in response. I didn’t wait to see who else followed. I turned and ran in the direction of the palace. I prayed then, probably for the first time in years. I had become a rather faithless f*cker. Goddess, hear me now. Save her life. I ask nothing more from you, not even to claim her. Save her so that she may live and find happiness. Save her so she may find someone worthy of her. I had always been selfish. My needs, my desires, my way. It was all I wanted. But things had changed. I had changed. I wouldn’t ever be that man again. If she was to live and not be mine, it was the price I would pay – my penance for all the grief, all the hurt I had caused. If she lived, I would not ask for a single thing from the goddess ever again. ---- Sakina I woke up to a pair of dark hazel eyes and the heady scent of vanilla beans and fresh tobacco leaf. My heart hammered in my chest. It was him. It was always him. “Lucien,” I croaked. “Hush, you fool,” he grinned, crouching down and taking my hand in his own. I gasped as I felt the jolt travel from my hand all the way down to my arm. I looked into his eyes, ready for him to claim me as his own and to claim him as mine and I saw… nothing. I saw nothing but what I had seen for the past twenty-two years of my life. The pain in my gut was nonexistent compared to the piercing shards that attacked my heart. I smiled through it widely. “So, you saved my life? Does this mean I owe you now?” I said, laughing weakly. “We can discuss my p*****t later,” he grumbled. My legs crossed at his low growl. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. “You scared the s**t out of me, Sakina,” he sighed. “And we’re not even in training,” I teased. He grinned widely and my heart stopped at the way his smile lit up the room. His straight, dark hair was pushed behind his ears, but fell across his forehead rakishly. I resisted the urge to push it back, instead tightening my grip on his hand. “Are you in pain?” he asked. Yes. Yes I’m in pain, you stupid, aloof man. How could he not feel it? “Nothing I can’t handle,” I replied instead, smiling widely at him. He returned my smile. Was there a hint of disappointment in his eyes? No, Sakina. That’s called wishful thinking, you daft ox. The pain in my gut lessened at the touch of his hand. Or possibly the ointment. Whatever it was, he didn’t let go. “You’re going soft, Lucien,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “You wouldn’t say that if you could see what’s under my shalwar,” he teased. He often said things like this, but this time it sent a pang straight between my legs and my eyes shot open. I stared into his eyes again, light brown embers that danced in the candlelight, flecks of green hidden amongst the many shades of brown. It was just the playful, lusty man I had known all my life. Nothing more. I would stop looking for signs of love behind those hypnotic eyes. They twinkled with mischief as they always had done, but there was no sparkle of love, no recognition for me as his mate. He was as closed off as he had ever been, only letting you see as much as he wanted you to. I felt the weight of disappointment settle into my chest. I had heard that when your mate rejected you, the pain of it was enough to drive you mad. It wasn’t quite that, but then… if I wasn’t his mate, he could hardly reject me. Perhaps I would need to ask him to do it so I could be free from him. I closed my eyes, feeling a lump rising in my throat. I had known. I had always known it would be him. And I thought he had maybe felt it too. I had sometimes caught him looking at me in training. Or the way he would smile at me when I saved him a passionfruit from the vines after a Period of Judgement. I had watched him w***e around the entirety of Zamee. I had even joined in on the fun. But he had never once approached me. I could often see him toying with the idea, his eyes roaming my body hungrily. I would have offered myself to him willingly, if he had only just asked. “Thank you for saving my life,” I murmured with my eyes closed. “For you, sunshine, a thousand times over. Rest now, yara,” he said, sweetly, kissing my hand. I nearly whimpered as his lips grazed over my palm, tears pricking my eyes as he used the names he had called me since we were children. Sakina sunshine, he would call me. He had stopped calling me yara years ago. It was a word used for a loved one – a companion. I had pretended to loathe the names all my life, secretly loving it as I had grown into a woman. I had naively thought it to mean he was mine, that he was staking his claim by the use of these names. As sleep cast its shadow over me, I mourned at how goddess had mocked me. How wrong I had been.