A Misguided Soul

1410 Words
Lauren's POV When my parents told me that I was getting married, I thought it was a joke. I mean I was not dating anyone and besides that, I wasn't exactly someone who looked like they would get a marriage proposal any time soon, firstly, I was about a hundred pounds bigger than my peers. I learned very early on that guys are not into girls that look like me. It's not that I wanted to look like that but it was hard to lose weight. I was twenty and I had been on more diet plans than anyone I knew. Nothing worked so I stopped, unfortunately for me, I couldn't stop eating either. At my age, I have been on two dates, all of which ended in a disaster. First, it was some guy with a weird fetish for big girls, he told me that he wanted me to gain more weight. I was already struggling with the weight I was in, I didn't want to put on more weight. Then there was the second date, the guy was nice but he ordered me a salad. He didn't have to tell me what he thought of me because he kept on talking about getting me healthy he made me feel bad about myself. I knew then that there wasn't anyone who was going to accept me for who I was so I swore off dating. So imagine my surprise when I was told that there was someone who wanted to marry me. I told my parents that I was not going to marry a man I didn't know, a man I had never met or seen with my own eyes, but my father gave me no choice. If I didn't marry the man, I would no longer be his daughter. My mother on the other hand told me that this was the best thing for me, that he would treat me right. After a lot of fighting on my part, I agreed to the marriage, I was to see my husband on our wedding day only a couple of weeks later. I was supposed to go to university, further my studies and I had to put that on hold because I had to marry a man I didn't know. Then the wedding day came quickly. I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect. We had less than fifty people at the wedding but when I walked toward the man I was going to marry, it felt like a million eyes were all looking at me. I was worried, especially since the zipper on my wedding dress broke when I was putting it on. My mother had to sow it on my body. As for the man I was to marry, all that I could see was his back. I have been to two weddings and during those two times, I always looked at the groom as the bride walked down the aisle. I saw how emotional they got when they saw their brides walking down the aisle, I remember how my cousin wept when he saw his bride walking down the aisle. I didn't have any of that. I had spent the last two weeks trying to find out anything I could about my intended and came up with nothing. They wouldn't tell me anything about him, only his name, his first name was all that I got. Walking down the aisle felt like I was climbing a mountain with a bag full of stones on my back. I had so many questions in my head. My parents refused to tell me anything about him and yet they said that he was a good man. Whatever my questions were, I knew that it was too late to turn back, too late to walk away. I reached the threshold and finally, I turned and looked at him. His piercing blue eyes were the first thing I saw. They were as big and blue as the ocean, most importantly, the man was handsome. He literally took my breath away. I started to wonder why he would choose to do this. The man looked like a model like he should be on the cover of GQ magazine or modeling for some big brand. I am sure that plenty of women have thrown themselves at his feet, he could have anyone he wanted, why did he choose to do this? He didn't say anything, not until it was time for him to say his vows. He took a deep breath first as if this was something he didn't want to do, I didn't blame him, he was going to be stuck with me, an overweight inconvenience. I said my vows and we were officially married. During the wedding reception, Danilo hardly said two words to me, he kept on talking to his friend, and if anything, he acted like I wasn't even there. The time for us to leave came. I was nervous, I didn't know what to expect. The car took us to a private airstrip, we boarded the plane and went to what was supposed to be our honeymoon in the Cayman Islands. Even then, he didn't say much to me, he told me that we would be sleeping in separate bedrooms and that he didn't want to disturb me. So I spent the entire week by myself on our honeymoon while he locked himself up in the home office and worked. We didn't even eat together. I tried to make us connect, I would wake up early and stay in the kitchen hoping that we would have breakfast together, instead, he would send for the staff to bring it into his bedroom or the office, and dinner was no different. I hardly saw the man. It was on the second day that I finally got fed up and left the condo with our helper Lydia. She was literally the only person I could talk to. The week ended and we went back home. On our way back home, Dani was busy on his computer working. I have never seen anyone work as much as he did. The man didn't even give himself time to talk to me. He took me to his house. The house was huge and gorgeous. The house help showed me to my room, imagine my surprise when he came to bed later on in the evening. I was already asleep, but I am a light sleeper so he woke me when he came in. Even though we slept in the same bed, he didn't even touch me, it was like I was sleeping with my friend and not my husband. Then morning came and got out of bed. I had to say something. " We need to talk," I said to him. " Yes we do, I will begin. firstly I want you to know that I didn't want this, this marriage was forced on me like it was on you, secondly, I need you to understand that appearances are important, especially now. Our marriage is strictly a business contract between our parents and as you know, Every contract comes with rules. Number one is that there are certain expectations. One of those is that we have to make this work, I don't know how but we have to try, this is why we have to sleep in the same bed, as for everything else, we will figure it out as time goes on," he said to me. " Can I ask you something?" I said to him. " Sure, but I don't have much time, I have to get to the office in less than an hour," her said to me. " Why did you agree to this? You said it yourself, you don't want this just as much as I don't," I said to him. " I am good at business, this is what I do, marrying you made good business sense, your father owns a shipping company and we own a distribution company, they have what we need, a marriage is to strengthen the business relationship and nothing else. I am not going to fall in love with you, that is something you need to understand, this is not some fairytale love story, I have a girlfriend, and am going to continue with that relationship so don't expect any romantic gestures from me, those are for my girlfriend," he said to me.
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