The Enforcer's Bride

Chapter 4: Hannah

The lights buzzed back on and I woke from hauntingly realistic dreams. I saw my parents climb the gallows in the square, Gabriel and Abigail screaming, the death knots draped around their necks, and finally the final moments as the lever being pulled. But of course I wasn’t there but I was the reason it happened. The door opened. I rolled away, my eyes brimming with tears. They were not going to see me cry. 

“He is salvation Hannah,” a voice greeted me. I met them with silence. I will resist. 

“Get up,” a voice commanded me. I laid still, feigning sleep. 

The footsteps crossed the room and with a sudden THWACK of a club on the backs of my legs, “Get up!” I slowly rose to my feet rubbing my soreness. The short, stocky Enforcer in front of me was accompanied by a woman dressed in a long matronly grey dress, head covered by a kerchief, a Sister. Sisters were women in charge of educating recruits, cold, mean non-sense, women. 

“It appears you’ve forgotten our customs. Come with me,” she commanded.

 I slowly followed her out of the door and down a long hallway lined with doors, the Enforcer trailing close behind me. The Sister led me through a door and up a set of concrete stairs, and down another windowless hallway before opening another door. I paused before entering and the Enforcer shoved me inside. We were in a large white tiled bathroom, a row of sinks on one side and showers on the other. 

“Strip,” The Sister commanded me. I paused, I didn’t want to be naked in front of this woman and my hesitation quickly turned to punishment. The Sister shoved me against the sinks reached behind me and ripped the cotton shift from my body. “What the f**k!” I shoved her away, lunging for the door. She grabbed my hair, bent me over the sink, and THWACK THWACK THWACK on my bottom with her baton. 

“You will obey!” I sobbed and screamed, feeling like a punished child. “Shower and I have fresh clothes for you before your first session,” the Sister handed me a homemade bar of soap, a coarse bath towel, and steered me toward the shower. I could already feel the bruises welling up on my backside as the cold water shocked my skin. I was already missing my bathroom from my apartment back in Virginia. I started making a list in my head, “Water pressure, hot water, pants, breakfast,” all the things I was starting to miss as my stomach growled. The Sister turned the water off and handed me underwear and a light yellow clean dress, the color for an unmarried woman. “There, doesn’t that feel so much better,” the Sister smiled at me as she tucked my bright red hair into a grey kerchief and handed me socks and leather boots. 

The Sister led me down a series of hallways to a windowless classroom with a different Sister teaching rows of benches full of women dressed exactly like me. “He is salvation,” the Sister greeted, “We are saved,” the room answered in unison. “Girls, this is Hannah. She will be joining you in your learning. Please welcome your sister.” The Sister sat me down on a bench and left, the Sister in the front re-started class. “I am Sister Leah, and you women are the future of The Province.” I rolled my eyes, this was a lecture we received every year in Bible teachings. “Because women submit to their husbands, because we birth children, because we take care of the home, we ensure that there is a future. We have the most important roles in society and we must guard them.” Her eyes swept the room and landed on me, “Don’t you agree, Hannah?” I looked directly at Sister Leah and stated; “Actually women in the outside world do more than just take care of the home and birth babies. They participate in government and own businesses and go to university.” Sister Leah softly smiled, “Class, do you think Hannah knows what’s best for our Homeland?” Everyone was staring at me, shocked expressions on their faces, waiting for the outcome. 

“I would be afraid of a person like Hannah in a position to make decisions, class. Hannah is the reason her parents were publicly executed. Hannah is no longer welcome within her family. There are rules for a reason and consequences when you break those rules.” Sister Leah stared straight at me as I sunk lower on my bench, tears welling in the corners of my eyes. “Class, everyone observe. Hannah not only committed treason but she has been prideful, Hannah is a sinner. What is sin class?”

“Shame.” All answered in unison. 

“Class, would you like to tell Hannah her shame?” Different girls turned to me their voices getting louder, “You killed your parents!” “You are prideful!” “Shame!” “Your fault!” “You did this!” “You killed them!”Tears started coursing down my face and I sobbed into my hands. “Resist, resist, this is how they’ll break you,” I kept thinking but the guilt and shame of causing my two innocent and loving parents execution started weighing on me. Continuing to resist could put Andrew’s life in danger as well and add another name to my list of shame. “Very good class. But forgiveness is love and God is love so what does Hannah need to do now?” Sister Leah prompted. “Repent,” the class answered. Sister Leah walked over, guided me to the front of the room, and down to my knees. “The repenting prayer Hannah. I don’t believe you’ve forgotten it after all these years.” I closed my eyes, this was it. I could continue to resist and put other people’s lives in danger, or I could say the words I learned how to recite as a child. I took a deep breath. “Father, I have sinned. Sin is shame. I am shame. Shine your light on me so that I may feel your forgiving love. Amen”