Nauwi kami sa walang nakuhang yellowfin tuna o kahit anong isda. It is not probably a good day for fishing. Kuya always planned his fishing day but the must have let this day slide. Aga and kuya planned of returning to the beach house and just be thankful for the handful of crabs. We can cook something else tonight, I guess.
The boys seem fine with it. Hindi naman sila bad trip or something. They were just talking casually as we are heading back. Naging focus din ako sa pag-iwas sa araw dahil nararamdaman ko na ang lagkit sa balat ko.
Hindi rin naman malayo ang pinuntahan namin kaya nakabalik na kami ng matiwasay. Bumaba agad si kuya nang makapag-dock na ang speed boat. Tumayo na rin ako dahil i-a-assist niya ako pababa. First, inabot ko sa kaniya ang mga gamit ko at mga fishing rods na pinag-gamitan namin. I was watching him placing his rods at the back of his black Hi-Lux Conquest. Then, he assisted me to get down. Inabot niya sa akin ang mga gamit ko at pinapunta sa may kahoy para hindi ako mainitan.
“How about the crabs? Your other stuff?” I asked.
Without looking at me he said, “Aga will do it. Rest yourself up!”
Tumango nalang ako sinunod siya. Kung saan ako umupo kanina nang dumating, doon ako umupo. Binuksan ko ang bag para kunin ang sunblock ko. This is my fourth times wearing it. I’m just not confident. Maliligo rin ako pagkauwi para mawala ang lagkit sa balat.
Habang naglalagay ako, natatanaw ko sina kuya at Aga na nagtutulungang ibaba ang malaking plastic box kung saan nilagay ang mga crabs, maging ang mga nets na pinaggamitan namin.
“Meron pa ba?” Tanong ni kuya.
Aga turned around to find what he can, and then came back to tell kuya, “Iyan na yata lahat!”
Kuya nodded, “Ge!”
Ang likod ng sasakyan ni kuya ay may naka-attached na trailer. Saan ba siya dumaan kanina? Wala naman akong narinig na dumaan siya sa bahay. Was I not paying attention then? Anyway, Aga went back to the captain’s seat and restart the boat. Kuya also head to his car and start it.
As I was staring at Aga, he looks so cool manoeuvring the steering wheel. I thought it’s absurd to get be stunned with men holding steering wheel whilst looking at the back. Girls like it! Inaatras ni Aga ang speed boat towards the trailer whilst doing the same with his car. Binababa niya sa tubig para makapang-abot ang trailer at ang speed boat. Tumaas ang leeg ko habang tinatanaw lang sila.
Tumigil naman si kuya. Bumaba siya agad ng sasakyan at sinilip ang likuran. May sinasabi ni Aga dito, I think giving him instructions, kuya nodded and giving him instructions. Nagkaka-intindihan silang dalawa. Hindi ko inaasahang magkasundo silang dalawa. Are they friends before that night? Never seen Aga around Kuya Daevan though. Well, hindi ko rin naman masyadong alam kung sinu-sino mga kaibigan niya. Maybe they know each other already. After all, they’re businessmen.
“Dito banda!” Rinig kong sigaw ni kuya.
Lumingon si Aga sa kaniya saglit bago sinunod ang sabi nito. Aga stopped the engine when it got closer to the trailer. Dahan-dahan umangat ang dual engine para hindi mabangga sa trailer. Pagkatapos nito, bumaba na si Aga sa speed boat, si kuya naman ang bumalik sa sasakyan para i-atras pa ang sasakyan para makapang-abot ang trailer at boat.
Not long after, they got it successfully. That’s the time, I stood up! Uuwi na muna ako para maligo at magpalit. It is soon lunchtime, so we need to prepare food. Kuya drove his car towards the gate, where I am at.
“Magpapalit ka? Sakay ka na.” Aniya.
Nakabukas lang ang kaniyang bintana. Hindi na kailangan ng sagot, pumunta na agad ako sa pinto at binuksan ito. Pagkaupo ko ng maayos at pagsarado ng pinto, nagmaneho na ito. Bukas lang din naman ang gate all this time so diretso lang siya.
“I don’t think you had fun.” He commented.
“Well, a little bit. Okay lang naman…” I shrugged.
“You miss the city life more, hey?” Nakadiretso lang ang mata niya sa daan. Hindi rin naman nagtagal, nakarating na kami. He parked the car smoothly and shut the engine.
Lumingon ako saglit sa kaniya, “Hmm… I wouldn’t say, I did not. But… I’m starting to like the peace here.”
Bumaba na ako pagkatapos. Pinauna ako ni kuya na maligo at makapagbihis dahil lilinisan pa niya ang speed boat. Para maiwasan ang kalawang dahil sa asin at dumi, kailangang linisin niya ito bago isauli sa may-ari. That’s what he usually does with his speed boats. I let him do his thing whilst I do mine. Nagsaing muna ako dahil dito lang kami sa bahay magtatanghalian. Aga will also just change and come here after. Sila ang magluluto ng lunch dahil sila lang din naman ang may kaalaman sa mga putahe.
I just don’t know if they have all the ingredients. If they can find it all in my kitchen, that would be amazing!
Nagsaing lang ako ng kanin sa rice cooker kaya maiiwanan ko lang ito. It took me an hour to shower and another 30 minutes to dress and do my skincare again. Nararamdaman ko na ang sunburn. I guess, it just really that hot! Pagkabalik ko sa kusina, nagpapakulo na si Aga ng mga alimango.
Napatalon pa ako nang madatnan ko siya.
“Whoah! Bilis mo naman.” Sabi ko.
“You took too long though.” Aniya.
Uminit ang pisngi ko. Totoo naman talagang nagtagal ako. Stating the obvious made me blushed. He chuckled softly that my brow raised. Anong nakakatawa? Umismid nalang ako.
Bahala ka diyan! I won’t help you at all!
“May coconut cream ba rito? Can’t find one.” Tanong niya.
Umismid ulit ako. Pasalamat ka nandito ang kuya ko! Tutulungan pa rin kita.
“Try on that cupboard.” Turo ko sa harap niya.
Ginataang alimango? That’s going to be yummy! But I don’t have all the ingredients.
Nahanap naman niya ang turo ko. He’s got the garlic, onion and ginger prepared. Is that all? Wala na ba siyang iba pang kailangan? Napatingin ako sa paligid. Where’s kuya? It has been a while since I showered, I’m sure he’s done washing the boat.
“Si kuya?”
“Pumunta ng palengke. Kailangan ng kalabasa, sitaw at fish sauce, wala ka rito.” Sagot niya.
Okay.
“Dala niya ang speed boat?” I dumbly asked.
He scoffed. Okay, that was really dumb, Gab. But I was just asking though.
“He used my car.” He smacks his lips.
I breathed heavily. Of course, kuya can use Aga’s car. Why didn’t I think of that? Can I bury myself right now? Nakakahiya ako!
I just want to walk-out so badly. Instead, nagkunwari akong tutulong sa kaniya. Sinilip ko rin ang rice cooker, naka-switch off na ito. Good! Tinignan ko ang sink, may mga huhugasin na which normal naman dahil nagluluto. Doon ko tinuon ang sarili at hinugasan ang mga pinanggamitan niya. Alam ko rin naman meron pa siyang ginagamit para na ‘yan sa mamaya.
The kitchen is not too big neither too small. I can breathe freely…
Tahimik lang akong nagsasabon ng mga kutsara nang nagsalita siya, “Mukhang hindi ka nag-enjoy kanina.”
“Hmm…” paunang sabi ko na hindi lumilingon sa kaniya. “It was okay. Nakapunta na ako sa mga fishing competition na sinasalihan ni kuya at lagi naman akong hindi nag-e-enjoy. I just want to support his thing. Alam mo na, marami ding kasosyo na kasama, kaya required.”
Lumingon ako saglit sa kaniya. Halos mapatalon ako nang makitang nakatuon pala ang atensyon niya sa akin. Tumatango siya sa sinasabi ko. Gosh! I was rude.
Tumikhim ako.
“B-but I like going to a trip with one of his speed boats. It’s fun…” I stammered.
“That’s good.” Ngumiti pa ito.
Yung T-shirt na suot niya kaninang umaga ang suot niya ulit ngayon. May itim na check sa kaniyang putting t-shirt. Nakashorts ito at nakapaa. He still looks so fancy. Alam mo ‘yon, kahit siguro gusot-gusot ang suotin niya, maganda pa rin sa mata.
Tumikhim ako ulit. What was I thinking? Complementing his look? He looks normal. H’wag nang madaming sugar-coating.
“Did you like fishing even before?” I asked.
Both of us just stopped to whatever we are doing. Well for him, nagpapakulo lang naman ng alimango whilst ako, nagpapanggap lang na tumutulong. He clicked his lips after a short thought, “I do. Not a hobby though. I like driving speed boats and diving. Wala nga lang akong speed boat gaya ng kuya mo. One boat is around 2M to 3M excluding the engines. 350 dual engine is around 3M. Can’t afford.”
“But you have businesses.”
“Not big as yours. Someday, hopefully. Nag-aarkila lang ako sa mga kaibigan. Mag-ha-hire ka rin ng tao para mag-assist at mag-maintain. Plus, you have to include the maintenance, oil change, then fuel. It’s an expensive hobby!” He shrugged.
I must say, he’s right. Kaya nga nang makita kong walang kasama si kuya kanina, nagulat ako. He need assistance. Hindi mo pwedeng patakbuhin ang isang speed boat na mag-isa. Even small boats na de-makina. I was impressed when I saw Aga manoeuvring the boat.
Hindi talaga ako sasakayn kung si kuya lang. Wala akong alam sa mga ganiyan. He raised me like a princess, malay ko ba.
“Kahit na hindi ako nagtagal sa hotel mo, may nakikita akong potensyal na lumago pa. You were hands-on with all of them. Lagi ko pang naririnig sa mga kasama ko na masipag ka raw talaga at siniseryoso mo lahat ng feedbacks ng mga guests. You will probably expand more and earn. I can see you buying speed boats in the future, Aga!” Sabi ko.
Ngumisi siya parang nagustuhan niya ang sinabi ko. “You think?”
“Well, why not? Wala ka namang ibang bisyo. Except being a womani—” I cut off my own self. Tinikom ko ng mariin ang bibig ko. What did I just say? Nagulat din ako sa sarili ko. Dahan-dahan ko siyang tinignan. Nanlaki din ang mga mata niya.
“You think I’m a womaniser?” He asked.
Umigting ang panga niya. His hand was completely off the kitchen counter. I gulped my own saliva and suddenly got nervous. I know he was my former boss that I was out of his company, but I still have to respect him. Kung ano ang mga nakita ko noon, dapat hindi ko ‘yon, nilalabas. Napakagat ako ng labi. Ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin?
“Hmm?” Nasabi ko lang.
He smirked, “I’m not a womaniser.”
“Liar. I always see you!” Naibulalas ko.
Napatakip ako ng bibig. What the heck!? Wala pa naman si kuya. Walang makakapagtanggol sa akin kung sakaling piliin niyang patayin ako. Humalakhak ng malakas si Aga pagkatapos ko yung sabihin.
Tila ba’y tuwang-tuwa siya. Hindi ko na alam kung saan titingin, paikot-ikot na ito maliban sa kaniya. “When did I ever bring a girl in my room?”
Like I don’t know the answer to that! All the time! Every time! In my shift! Akala mo ha!
He laughed heartily which it stunned me.
“Hmm?” He said.
Umismid ako, kailangan pa bang sagutin ‘to? Well, if he asked for it. “All the time?”
“No, I don’t.” Umiiling pa ito.
Denial yarn? I think I don’t have the right to answer that. If he’s denying it, it’s his call.
“Lagi silang sumusunod sa akin. Hinahayaan ko lang sila hanggang sa reception, pero kapag nahawakan ko na ang susi at nasa harap na ako ng pinto ko, hindi na sila pwedeng pumasok.” Paliwanag niya as if it will make an enormous difference.
Liar! Hindi ako naniniwala. I can still remember the time his girl kept on calling our line wanting our kitchen to open just for her. Paiba-ibang babae pa! Men… and their nature. You can’t fool me.
I shrugged. That’s your side of the story. Who am I to fabricate that? Napatingin ako sa kumulong kaldero. Napatingin din si Aga doon hudyat na tapos na ang usapan namin.
“I think kuya’s here.” I can hear a car outside.
And oh, I forgot to ask him about why was he always at the hotel? Like, out of his chains, why on that specific branch? Was it because of me? I know he had a crush on me which I declined him respectfully but… anyway… never mind then.
Sinalubong ko si kuya na nakababa na sa sasakyan ni Aga, hawak ang puting sapot na kitang-kita ang kalabasa, sitaw, at iba pa. May kausap siya, nang makita ako tinuro niya and tainga kung saan suot nito ang kaniyang airpods. Tumango naman ako at hindi nagsalita.
Nong una, akala ko kasosyo niya sa trabaho dahil mukha siyang seryoso pero nang mabanggit niya ang pangalan ni Rence, napatigil ako.
“Naiintindihan ko. Alam ko kung ano ang nararamdaman mo.” Aniya.
“Clarence?” I mouthed.
Tumango si kuya. Nang nasa harapan ko na siya, inabot niya lang sa akin ang supot. Magsasalita na sana ako pero nilagpasan lang ako ni kuya. Pumasok na siya ng tuluyan sa bahay at iniwan akong tulala. If it’s Clarence, can’t I talk to him? Hindi ko naman sasabihin ang lokasyon ko. Matagal ko nang kayang sabihin ito nang makahawak ako ng telepono pero hindi ko ginawa. I took our rules seriously.
“H’wag kang mag-alala sa mga bills. We promised your parents, we’ll cover everything. I know you are worried for your sister, and Gab but this is the best for them both. Mas mabuting walang nakakaalam kung nasaan si Gab. It will be safer for both of them.” Ani kuya.
Kuya seem annoyed. Para bang paulit-ulit na niya itong napaliwanag kay Clarence pero hindi pa rin maintindihan nito kung bakit hindi niya pwedeng malaman kung nasaan ako.
Wait, is my brother suspecting my boyfriend? Mabilis kong tinungo ang kusina at inabot kay Aga ang supot. Halos ibato ko na ito sa kaniya para lang maabot ito. Tsaka ako umalis at bumalik kung saan si kuya.
Wala na siya nang makabalik ako, para akong batang hinahanap ang magulang sa dami ng tao sa mall. Where is he?
“She’s okay. Kinukulit din niya ako pero kahit pag-uusap hindi pwede.” I heard him say from somewhere.
When I found him, I hurried myself to him. Kuya breathed heavily, may kung ano siyang pinipindot sa phone hanggang sa naririnig ko na ang boses ni Clarence sa kabilang linya. I looked at kuya, he raised his eyebrows at me as if I knew what to do and what not.
Tinikom ko ng mariin ang labi. Malakas ang t***k ng puso. Yung excited na excited akong marinig ang boses niya. Kinakabahan ako baka hindi ko masunod ang usapan namin pero naluluha ako. I just miss him so badly!
“I have to go. I’m in a business meeting.” Kuya said.
I made a face to kuya. Kaka-on niya lang ng speaker, papatayin na niya? Napabuka ako ng labi pero natikom ko rin. Parang tumalon ang puso ko. Susuntukin ko na sana siya.
“I heard you left the city. Kasama mo si Gab?” Clarence suspecting my brother.
“No. I’m in Isla Del Fuego. May ka-meeting ako. Gab is not with me.” Kuya firmly lied. Clarence voice is really deep. I kinda miss it! Wait, Isla Del Fuego? Never heard of that.
“Gab? I know you’re there! Can you hear me?” Rence calling my name.
Napatakip ako ng bibig. He’s not getting kuya’s s**t. He knows his whereabout. But how? Paano niya nalamang umalis si kuya ng city?
Nagkatinginan kami ni kuya. He’s very annoyed by now. I don’t want to push his button. Kuya and I need to talk. I want to confirm if he’s suspecting Clarence as my kidnapper. I don’t know why he is hiding me from Rence.
“Clarence, I need to go. They’re looking at me now. Your voice sounds distress!” Anito.
He became silent. I thought he was about to end the call but after brief moment, I can hear him sobbing. Mahina lang ito pero malinaw sa pandinig ko. Para bang piniga ang puso ko. Naaawa ako para sa kaniya. Masaya ako na marinig ang boses niya at hinahanap niya pa rin ako. Masaya ako kasi kahit na malayo kami sa isa’t isa, nanatili. Ramdam ko na hindi niya ako iiwan. Now, if kuya is suspecting him, I must have a word with him.
Kumukurot ang puso ko para sa kaniya. Wala man lang akong magawa. I can’t talk right now and assure him that I’m okay. Hang on, Rence! Mahal na mahal kita.
“I’ll talk to you again.” Sabi ni kuya.
Hudyat na papatayin na niya ang tawag. And when he is about to do it, Rence said something broke my heart even more. “Please tell her I love her. And I’m sorry for being a loser! Tell her, I’ll be waiting for her return. Thanks…”
Then kuya coldly said, “I will.”
Pinatay na nga ni kuya ang tawag. Inalis na niya sa harapan ko ang phone niya at iiwasan na sana ako pero hindi ko hahayaan. We need to talk! Sinundan ko siya.
“Sinususpetsahan mo ba si Clarence? You seemed disinterested of him!” I remarked.
“He failed to protect you! I was disappointed.” Sagot lang ni kuya.
What the hell? Anong klaseng sagot ‘yon?
“He had to choose Clarissa at that time! She was dr*gged too!” Rebut ko.
Hindi pa rin siya tumigil sa paglalakad, patuloy lang din ang sumusunod sa kaniya. Papunta siya sa kusina para iwasan ito. Pwes! Hindi ako mahihiya kay Aga! Marami na rin akong nasabi sa harap niya. Ngayon pa ba ako mahihiya?
“Bullsh*t! He was there.” Sabi niya lang.
His answers are frustrating me to be honest. Walang kalaman-laman.
“If mum and I was there! Who would you choose?” There, an example because you seem so good at it. At paanong si Clarence ang kidnapper ko kung magkasama nga kami? Nandoon siya kung saan nahimatay si Clarissa. He is just out there investigating for nothing and now suspecting my boyfriend because he can’t find anyone. Ikaw ang bullsh*t.
“Let’s not bring this up, Gab! Hindi ko siya pinagbibintangan. I’m not even investigating on him. I just don’t want to trust him. All the people with you that night.” Aniya.
I scoffed. Nasa kusina na kami at nasa harapan namin si Aga. He looked at us both. It’s ironic, huh? Aga was there with us that night. He was more suspicious than anymore. He was the one I was warned about that night but here he is, we are entrusting my life with.
What the f*ck?! Nakakagago ka Daevan Montenegro! Paano napapatakbo ang buong kompanya sa ganiyang utak? Hindi ko maintindihan.
“Naiintindihan ko kuya kung minsan naiinis ka na sa pangungulit ni Clarence sa ‘yo, humihingi ako ng tawad pero ikaw lang ang nakakaalam kung nasaan ako. We sticked to our plans, no communication outside except you and now Aga!” I looked at Aga and even pointed at him as reference. “A random person who you entrust my life. Susundin ko lahat ng gusto mo para lang sa kaligtasan naming lahat. If I’m the root of this entire thing. I am surrendering my life for everyone’s safety but keep Clarence out of your suspicions. He loves me!”
Kumunot ang noo ni Aga kaya napababa ako ng kamay. Umiiwas naman ng tingin sa akin si kuya. I’m having an emotional outburst now! Hindi sa ganitong paraan ko gustong ihayag ang sarili pero hindi ko lang mapigilan. Kuya disappointed me so hard today.
Hindi ko aakalain ito.
“I know frustrated ka! Kayo nila mum at dad. I put you all through this s**t. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung bakit. Wala akong maisip kung ano ang atraso ko sa mga taong ‘yon pero hindi si Clarence ‘yon. Hindi magagawa ni Clarence ito sa akin, maging kay Clarissa. Papainumin niya ng pinagbabawal na gamot? Imagine the trauma it will cause to her. He loves his sister so much! That’s why that night, he chose her. Wala akong galit sa kaniya. He has the right to choose Clarissa over me.” Tumulo na ang luha ko. Nanginginig na ang mga kamay. Ibubuhos ko ang lahat ngayon dahil kailangan ito malaman ni kuya. Kailangan niya ring malaman na masakit sa akin ang malaman ito.
Kuya breathes heavily. Si Aga lang ang lumapit sa aming pagitan para aluhin ako. Hindi ako galit kay kuya, disappointed lang.
But I understand.
“I’m sorry.” Humingang malalim si kuya.
Pinaalis ko ang luha at umiwas ng tingin, “I know how much you love me, kuya. I know you would do everything for me. Kaya mo naiisip na huwag pagkatiwalaan ang lahat ng tao sa paligid mo. I just hope one day, we will find the real mastermind. If those people were really close to me, it will break my heart into pieces but I’m praying to God na huwag naman sana.”
Pinahid ko muli ang naiiwan kong luha at huminga ng malalim. Aga patted my right shoulder which made my heart skipped a beat. When I looked at him, he smiled faintly.
“Lunch is almost ready. Mas mabuti pang pakalmahin niyo muna ang mga sarili.” Aniya.
Kuya left first. Ako naman ay parang nabaon ang paa sa lupa. Hindi ako gumalaw. Natatakot ako baka matumba ako o ano. Aga leaned towards me.
“Kalma lang, yung puso mo.”