The Unbroken Luna

9

   Xavier’s pov

As soon as I mentioned the name of my pack, Emily’s beautiful eyes became as big as saucers as shock grew upon her face, and I instantly knew.

She knew I was that Xavier, and I sighed. I’d hoped that I could keep that information to myself a little longer, because it was clear since the very first moment I’d entered that room that she did not know who I was. It didn’t shock me – our influence in the United States wasn’t as strong as the one we had in Europe, so it was possible that she wouldn’t recognize me straight away.

I didn’t know what to say or do. Awkwardness grew quickly between us, creating an invisible wall that I knew would have been hard to destroy, and I resented it with all my heart.

The young woman in front of me was my mate: the woman I was supposed to share my whole life with… the woman I’d spent a beautiful hour with, eating and having small talk. Now, my title was ruining everything. Our moment, and the tiny, frail trust I’d managed to make her feel towards me.

“You’re the Prince,” Emily whispered. It was not a question, but I answered it anyway.

“I am” I murmured. I decided not to add more, even though I wanted so hard to tell her everything.

I may be the prince, but you don’t have to worry. We’re mates, you can trust me, I wanted to say, to plead, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to flood her with words and requests.

Emily swallowed. Nervous was written all over her face. “Do… is there a title I have to use to …”

“Absolutely not” I interrupted her, resenting that thought with every fiber of my being. Truth was, I obviously had a title that people used when they had to talk to me during formal events and meetings. My mate, though… it was different. She was different.

I knew I wouldn’t have been able to bear her talking to me in a formal, detached way.

Emily gasped. It was a small sound, barely audible… but I heard it. And I noticed I had my hand wrapped around hers. It wasn’t a hard grip… but I could only imagine what memories and traumas that kind of touch could bring up. Together with me interrupting her, accidentally using a harsh tone …

Shit, I cursed when I saw a small flicker of fear shine in her eyes. The last thing I’ve ever wanted was my mate fearing me… and I’d achieved that at our very first meeting.

Way to go, Xavier. Way to go.

“Emily, I… I’m sorry,” I muttered, leaving her hand. “I didn’t mean to, I swear”.

A few seconds passed before she answered.

“It’s alright” she nodded, giving me a small smile. A fake one. “Don’t worry”.

An obvious way of telling me to drop it. 

“I do have a title,” I then said, trying to save the conversation. “But you don’t have to use it. We…” I stopped before saying what I truly wanted and quickly opted for a half-truth. “I know what you’ve been through, and the trauma that comes with it, but I’d like for us to be friends. Without stupid formalities”.

This time, her smile wasn’t fake. It was small and sad, but real.

“I’m not the kind of person someone wants to be friends with,” she muttered under her breath.

Those words broke my heart, and I had to close my eyes for a moment to blink back the tears.

“Emily …”

“It’s true” she let out a small laugh, shaking her head. “I’m… I’m not even a person anymore. I’m just a troubled, traumatized mess that can’t even… function normally. I mean, look at that” this time, her tone was angrier, and she gestured at my hand. “I’m not normal. I’m…” she stopped for a moment, and tears filled her eyes. “I’m just a broken, f****d up thing”.

Every single word was like a dagger being twisted in my heart, and I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better.

A whole minute passed. Not a tear had left her eyes, and I knew that exaggerated self-control came from her husband’s abuses. From the fear of him lashing out at her if anyone even suspected anything, and thus the need to bottle up everything.

I’d already seen that happening. Emily wasn't the first woman I saw bearing the weight of abuse, but with her being my mate, seeing her suffering and pain was worse. I felt the physical need to rip her ex's throat out, make sure he wouldn't live to see another day. My wolf was snarling and growling inside of me, crazy with the need to protect our mate. 

“I think you should leave,” she murmured, looking down at her hands. I could see bruises on her wrists. They were fading, but I could still make out the shape of a man’s fingers, and my insides burned in anger. “You’ll surely have more important things to do than babysit me”.

There was nothing I wanted to do less than to leave her alone with her pain… but I would not force my presence on her, either.

“Okay,” I whispered then, clearing the table and getting up. “I… I’m sorry I… you know,” I then added, opening the door.

“You don’t have to,” she said with a gentle smile that made my heart flutter. “Thank you, Xavier. For the lunch… and all”.

I awkwardly smiled back and headed out. When I closed her door behind my back, though, it felt like I’d abandoned her.

Since I’d finished all the work I had for that day in the morning, I went to visit my parents. They were spending the weekend off in the family cabin, deep into the woods: I missed them, and I really needed to get the whole situation with Emily off my chest.

It had stopped raining, so I decided to take the quick route and shifted; the run helped to ease some of the stress I’d built up. I focused solely on the feeling of the wind in my fur, the freshness of the woods, the smell of wet grass… until the small frame of the cabin came into sight.

My parents were sitting on the porch, drinking something from steaming mugs and talking; however, their faces lit up as soon as they saw me, and I shifted back.

“Xavier!” my mom smiled, running up to hug me. “How good to see you, sweetie! Come on, let’s go inside… you must be freezing. Let’s get you some warm clothes and a piece of cake, uh? I made the blueberry pie, your favorite”.

She ushered me to the front door, where I hugged my father as well as he patted me on the back. If someone saw them right now, they would have never guessed that they were king and queen of the werewolves.

Once dressed up in a comfortable pair of jeans and a wool jumper, I joined them in the living room. On the small coffee table between the two sofas, there was already a cup of hot chocolate and, as promised, a slice of blueberry pie with some vanilla ice cream on the side.

“So,” my dad started. “What brings you here, Xav?”

My mouth went dry. I needed their advice, yes, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t a… sensitive matter.

“There’s… this girl,” I explained. My mom’s face lit up; she had always wanted to see me with someone, and possibly find my mate. Not that I didn’t: I’ve always felt the weight of the life I was born in, and I’d spent long nights asking to the starry sky for someone to share that life with. In the end, it had given me what I wanted, but at what price? Seeing her so broken, so destroyed, was horrible. Remembering that Rick and I had saved her helped a little, but I knew I would never forget her words. I’m not even a person anymore. I shuddered at the thought. “I… she’s American, and she was the Luna of the Red Blood pack’s Alpha”.

“Clayton Walker?” my dad asked, his face twisting up in disgust. “Never liked the guy. What do you mean, was, though? It’s not like you can stop being a Luna …”

“She ran away,” I explained. “Rick and I helped her. He… they’ve been married for four years, and she was constantly beaten and abused”.

My mother gasped, looking for my dad’s hand. “Oh, goodness,” she muttered, covering her mouth with her other hand. “Poor girl …”

“And she’s pregnant,” I added. “With his child. Rick told me she was scared, and that she needed a safe place to stay, so I told him to bring her here…” then I dropped the bomb. “She’s my mate”.

This time, none of them commented. Their shocked faces were more than enough for me to understand what was going on inside their heads.

“I don’t know how to help her,” I finally admitted, feeling like s**t as soon as those words left my mouth. I was an Alpha; I should have known how to take care of my pack mates, and since Emily was now a Blauer Mond, I should have been able to help her as well. When she opened her heart, though, and told me those horrible things – how she was not someone people should have wanted to befriend, how broken she felt – it left me totally speechless. I did not know how to make her change her mind. I wasn’t sure that repeating to her over and over that she deserved friends, that she was beautiful and strong, and that she would have ultimately recovered, would have helped her.

For a minute, none of us spoke.

“You said she was married,” my mom then said. “Was this man …”

“Rick told me they were mates. I don’t know if they rejected each other, or if her running away counted as a formal rejection, but I’m sure she doesn’t know,” I explained. “She… I could feel she didn’t know about our bond”.

“This is surely a thing that needs further investigation,” my dad commented. “In the meantime… what you can do, son, is to just give her all the time she needs. I know you want to tell her about your bond, but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do at the moment… you need to understand that she’s probably not going to be ready for a relationship for some time”.

“That, I know,” I sighed. “The thing is that I want to help her, but …”

“You don’t know how,” my mom finished for me. “Xavier, Emily went through a lot of traumas… and knowing her husband, she’s likely to be scared about him doing something to her family. You could start by reuniting her with her family and ask her what she needs. Make sure she knows she can trust you… and be close to her during the pregnancy. Going through something like that alone is… awful. Even more, considering how her child was conceived”.

“You could ask her if she wants some company during the first ultrasound, maybe,” my dad added. “And try to talk to her about therapy. She might need a professional to talk with”.

“I could help her,” my mom added. Even though she was the Queen, she had majored in psychology before marrying my dad and was an excellent therapist.

I nodded and finished my pie, but my phone rang. It was George, my Beta.

Pack business.

“I have to go back,” I said. “Thank you for… all the things you told me”.

“You’re welcome” my dad smiled tightly.

“And make sure you let us know her,” my mother added, hugging me. “I’m sure she’s beautiful… and that one day she’ll make an amazing Princess”.