Forbidden Baby

Chapter 8 – Brothers

Thia’s POV

A note slipped under my door, and I knew it was Gabe, I snatched it right up. He wanted me to open my bedroom window. That’s a risky move, he would struggle to get in, but I had no way of discouraging him, so I left my window open just in case.

I was secretly hoping he would make it, I so desperately wanted to see him. Maybe he could get a message to Freddie for me.

Freddie.

My heart hurt.

I didn’t even get the chance to tell him about our baby. I had no idea if he would be happy or angry. I started to sob once again. This was such a mess. It wasn’t meant to be this way.

When I heard a noise outside, I knew Gabe was on his way, I was so happy he was coming.

When the figure arrived at the window though, it wasn’t Gabe at all!

‘Zeke, what are you… I thought Gabe…’

‘Thia, Gabe would never have made it, sorry, you are stuck with me’

He sounded sorry, and I couldn’t hide my initial disappointment, but I was happy to see him all the same.

‘You called me Thia’ he had never once called me Thia.

‘You called me Zeke’ I had never called him Zeke either, for the same reason I guess he hadn’t called me Thia.

I burst into tears once again at my sorry ass situation and how happy I was to see him. He sat on the edge of the bed and held me as I cried into him. It was the first real close contact we had had in such a long time.

I was beginning to regret not listening to Gabe. I should have told him. He deserved to know, he may have been able to help me, and well, I hadn’t even given him the chance.

‘Thia, listen, I have been the shitest of brothers to you. But I love you, and so does Gabe. We want to help, but we can’t. If we could, please know, we would do anything for you!’

I believed every word; his sincerity was undeniable. He looked crushed.

‘I know, I thought if I waited until I couldn’t have an abortion, they would let me keep her’

I really thought that maybe if I pleaded with them, they would understand.

‘It’s a girl?’

‘Yeah’

‘How long have you known?’

‘2 weeks’

‘You could have…’ I didn’t let him finish; I didn’t want him to feel any worse than he already did. How was that fair. Maybe he could have helped, but that isn’t going to help either of us now.

‘No Zeke, I couldn’t have told you. I couldn’t tell anyone’

I wish now I had told him, and obviously I told Gabe, but in the end admitting that would do neither of us any good now.

‘Look, I wish I could do more, we both do, but here, take this’

‘What I it?’ he handed me a small scrap of paper.

‘Mine and Gabe’s numbers. You won’t have access to your phone, I doubt, so memorise them. Get rid of this paper when you have, but don’t ever forget our numbers ok. When you can, tell us where you are, and how you are, and if you ever need anything, you call us ok, any time! Promise me’

He was honestly making me feel better. His small actions made me realise I had underestimated him and now that he was here, I was glad he had come instead of Gabe, because I got the chance to see this side of him before god knows what happens to me and my baby tomorrow.

‘Thanks Zeke, I promise. I’m scared’

‘I know, I wish I could take your fear away’

‘What did they say? Do you know what they are going to do?’

He looked like he was struggling to know what to say.

‘I think they are going to send you away to have the baby, but you’ll be right back. Just know, that wherever you are, Gabe and I will always be right with you. I love you sis, I’m sorry I wasn’t a better brother’

I thought he was holding out on me, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know any more anyway. I was terrified and maybe the unknown was better. At least this way I know they plan on letting me have my baby. Whether let me keep her not is another matter.

I wanted to reassure him, he looked so pained. He was a better brother than I had given him credit for, and I wanted him to know that I appreciated the risk he took to be with me right now.

‘You are doing pretty good job right now, I love you’

‘I love you too, take care, and please, call one of us when you can, ok’

‘I will, I promise’

He hesitated before saying ‘Thia, before I go, I need to tell you something’

‘What is it?’ he sounded worried.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. If I was a better brother, then maybe you could have talked to me, but..’

‘Zeke, don’t do this to yourself’ I didn’t want him to dwell on it, this was my own fault.

‘Thia, I’m gay’

Wow. Well, not so much. Recently I had been thinking there was something going on with him. He had been distant, moody, and erratic. He had never had a girlfriend. I didn’t know, but I wasn’t surprised.

Nor did I care. I obviously held different values to Mum and Dad, and I genuinely didn’t think being gay was a sin, I wanted him to be happy, and knowing he was also harbouring a secret as big as mine that could destroy his family was a tough burden to bear.

So, to make him feel validated, and to let him know I didn’t care and that I loved him with all my heart, I told him what he needed to hear.

‘I know’

‘What?’

‘I know, I’ve known for a while’

I felt by telling him this, he would know whole heartedly, that what ever happened to me, I didn’t judge him, I would never spill his secrets and I loved him. He needed to know that without a doubt, and it was the only way I knew to prove it. Because tomorrow, I would be gone.

‘How?’

‘I don’t know. You never gave anything away. I don’t think Gabe knows, or anyone else, I won’t tell anyone. I just, kind of figured it out’

I didn’t want him to think he had been obvious, because, he hadn’t been, I had never been sure. 

‘Wow, okay, I underestimated you’

I appreciated his admittance; we had underestimated each other. I wish I had been more of a sister to him. But he also needed to know, that Gabe was an ally, and they would need to rely on each other now more than ever.

‘Don’t underestimate Gabe, Zeke, he’s all you got in this house, for the next 9 months. Tell him. He won’t care, he loves you. Tell him I love him too’

‘I will, he loves you too Thia’

‘I know. He’ll tell you Zeke, about me, but not until it’s the right time. But Zeke, promise me, you won’t do anything, Gabe will explain’

‘Ok, I promise’

He left out the window and made his way back to his room, unscathed.

I couldn’t tell him about Freddie yet. It wouldn’t be fair on him or Freddie. Freddie didn’t know about the baby and wouldn’t know Zeke knew and he would be floored. Zeke going in all guns blazing would do none of us any good.

I needed and hoped that Gabe would pave the way for them to talk it out. I also hoped Gabe knew to tell Freddie why I had gone. I wish I had had the chance to speak to Gabe, but as it is, I was going to have to trust his judgement and hope he did the right thing.

I barely slept, and I woke up feeling like I had the entire world weighing on my shoulder. I felt sick with anguish and worry. Mum and Dad hadn’t been back to see me, and I had no idea what their intentions where this morning.

The door clicked, it was still dark outside, so I knew it was early. I sat up in bed waiting for one or both of my parents to enter. It was Dad, alone, I dreaded this situation the most.

‘Pack a bag, you’re going away, make sure you have everything you need’

‘Not much fits me’ I admitted, I didn’t want to anger him, but equally, as I had no idea where I was going or for how long and there was no point in not being honest at this point.

‘Fine’

He left the room. What the hell was that? I packed a few things that I knew I would need and some things that did fit. Just I had finished collecting a few sentimental things, my mother walked in.

‘Here’ she handed me a few of my dad’s t shirts ‘They should fit. We’ll buy you a few things and get them to you. We won’t be buying anymore so make sure you look after what you get’

I just nodded, what could I possibly say to that. She went through my bag to check what I had packed. She didn’t remove anything, so I figured she was okay with what I had packed.

‘Mum, where am I going?’ I asked quietly.

‘We’ll discuss it on the way’ was all she said about that ‘Wash up, get dressed and come downstairs, you have 20 minutes. Bring your bag down and don’t wake your brothers. Do you hear?’ She seethed low and quietly.

I understood loud and clear. I nodded and stood up from the bed, ready to go to the bathroom. She left the room, and I did exactly as she said. I was in no position to argue.

I made it downstairs, careful not to wake the boys. I didn’t want to anger them any more than I already had, but I was so deflated, I really wanted to see them and say goodbye before I left.

That wasn’t going to happen. They ushered me into the car, and I went silently without any arguments or tears. What would the point of that be?

I still might have a chance to reason with them. Being stuck in the car with them for god knows how long, may give me the chance to speak to them with justification and rationle.

While I got in the car and considered my next move, Zeke came out the front door in his underwear, I heard Zeke shout out to Dad.

‘Bring Tabitha back in the house so we can say goodbye and I will gladly follow you in. Otherwise, I will come to the car as I am’

‘Fine’

Dad was seething, I hoped this didn’t anger him to beyond reason, but equally, I was so happy to see my brothers. I almost cried as Dad opened the car door, I got out and ran into the house, followed by Zeke, Mum and Dad.  

By the time we were all in the kitchen, Gabe was also in the room, I was so happy to see him. Zeke looked at my ever expanding stomach, and with my clothes now too small, it was difficult to hide the bump. I was now 5 months.

He walked over to me and placed his hand on my stomach, I didn’t miss Mum and Dad wince as he did so. I looked down at his hand on my bump and smiled softly at him. The baby kicked, I wasn’t sure if he could feel it.

But when his eyes widened slightly at the movement, I knew he had.

‘She likes you’ I whispered, I didn’t want Mum and Dad to hear, I was worried it would anger them further than they already were.

‘Of course, she does, I’m her favourite uncle’ he said clearly with intention.

I tried not to be mad at him for it, he was trying to stick up for me and my baby, he was trying to prove a point, but I was scared it would just make everything for me worse.

‘Enough!’ Dad bellowed, sure enough, Dad was furious.

Zeke ignored Dad’s warning, ‘You take care of yourself, and the little munchkin, and when you come home, we will be waiting for you’

He held me close, despite only being 13 months older than me, he engulfed me in his tall, slight but toned frame, completely encasing me within him. For those few moments, I felt completely safe.

‘I love you Zeke’ I whispered in his ear.

‘I love you to Thia, don’t forget what I told you now’ he whispered back.

‘I won’t’ I pulled away from him and Gabe took Zeke’s place.

‘Thia, I am so sorry we didn’t figure this out’

‘Gabe, don’t, this is not your fault. We don’t have much time, but I need you to do something for me’

‘Anything, what is it?’

‘Can you explain everything to Freddie and Loretta, I don’t want them to think I have abandoned them!’

‘Ok, that’s enough. Let’s go’ Dad had a no-nonsense tone, and I wasn’t about to dispute his demand.

Gabe hugged me, he nodded to tell me he would do as I asked, but I didn’t really get the chance to tell him what they did and didn’t know, I just hope he acted with caution and dealt with it sensitively. I was fearful it would be a s**t show.