Either this was going to be the best night of my life, or the worst, was a fact I’d come to accept as I followed Finn into the dark statues. Together we climbed over the crumbled pieces of cement and trekked over the overgrown areas that might have once been gardens but were now nothing more than dead branches and weeds.
“We’re not supposed to be out here, these lands are forbidden,” I stated out loud a fact that didn’t need to be said. Everyone knew that, except possibly an amnesiac, which I happened to be following forwards into the broken kingdom anyways. I should know better. I should be the logical one here, but there was something about Finn that made me want to trust him, to blindly follow him anywhere he may lead.
“Lands can’t be forbidden,” he grunted as he made a wide step up onto a ledge. Turning, he reached his hand out to help me scale the small cliff as well and I took the opportunity to glance behind him. An archway overgrown with vines stood behind him, likely what was once the entrance to the abandoned castle. I reached up, allowing Finn to take my hand in his. With ease he pulled me forwards, bringing me up to his level then continuing towards the archway. His hold around my hand remained though, sending goosebumps up my arm.
“My father might argue differently,” I mumbled in return and Finn let out a chuckle.
“They’re a part of nature. They’re not to be owned or controlled, only taken care of and explored.” I’d never thought of it that way before, taking another glance around us. No one did own this land, it was simply a part of nature now. But, whether or not this land could be forbidden was regardless of the very real danger that we could be in, standing here. Seeming to sense my nerves building up again, Finn squeezed my hand a little tighter. He spun to face me, interrupting my step forwards and allowing me to collide with his chest in the gentlest way possible.
“You have a strange way of looking at things, Finn,” I whispered, an attempt at breaking the tension that had sudden fallen between us. My entire body buzzed, being pressed up against his.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Strange, or different from what you’re used to?” Different. Absolutely different. Shockingly different. My answer didn’t need to be muttered though, as his hand reached to our side, the click of a door hinge echoing through the archway we now stood under. I jumped a little, my cheeks blushing in embarrassment as I showed my own fear, but he only squeezed me tighter.
“Would you like to go home?” He offered to me once more and I blinked slowly. Home was the last place I wanted to be right now, and no matter how fearful I felt, I also felt exhilarated.
“No,” I breathed back, inching closer to the man in front of me. His lips turned in a smile.
“You’re safe,” his words somehow calmed every nerve in my body once again and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. His eyes flickered down for a moment, seemingly inching all the more closer to mine and for a moment I wondered if he might kiss me. Then just as suddenly, he’d backed away. His hand giving mine one more squeeze as he pushed open the door.
The two of us stepped inside, the corridor around us dark but somehow more intact than I thought it might be. The rugs that lined the hallway remained, frames still hung on the cement walls depicting the people who’d once lived here. Finn made his way through the building with ease, climbing the stair case and leading me down the hallways until coming into a large room covered with what I’d imagined was once brightly coloured furniture, now covered in ash and dust. The walls were lined with paintings, family portraits and vivid landscapes, and in the corner a grand piano that I’d imagined hadn’t been played in ages.
“What is this place?” I wondered out loud, even though I already knew the answer deep down. We were in the Northern Kingdom. I’d thought of this place before, in passing. Thought it might be something like my own kingdom, but somehow this was nothing like what I had imagined. My kingdom was cold, aloof, predictable. This place, while an abandoned ruin now, had remnants of once being colourful and lively.
Finn perched himself on the arm of one of the couches, pausing to look around the room. My eyes drifted over his face, unable to help myself as I admired the sharp line of his jaw. The balcony doors on my left had long ago been broken in, allowing the moonlight to stream in and hit his face in just the right light. His midnight black hair not seeming so dark anymore, the blue in his eyes brightening as his attention caught mine.
“Is your castle like this? Because from the outside, it just looks like this giant cement fortress. I guess this building is the same, but being in here reminds me of being at Amara’s. People lived here once, it’s…” he trailed off, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip as he searched for the right word. “Homey,” he finally settled on and a warmth I hadn’t been expecting, pooled in chest.
“Castles are built for protection, they’re not meant to be homey,” I corrected him, thinking back to my own home. Would I ever describe it as homey? Looking around this place, hardly. Everything in our castle had it’s place, and paintings like these would surely clash with my mother’s colour scheme, but did that make my own home less homey, as he had put it?
“Do you come here often?” I asked, only now realizing how easily he had moved through the castle. It was as if he had committed this place to memory, having rehearsed these same hallways over and over again.
“Yes,” His reply caught me by surprise. I shouldn’t be though, knowing this man had already confessed to venturing into the dark forest on a regular basis.
“Why?” He shoved his hands into his pocket, leaning back against the open doorframe, half in the room still, and half leaning out onto the balcony. For a moment, he went silent, thinking over his answer. I stepped closer, joining him on the opposite end of the doorframe. I glanced out over the trees in front of us, the entire forest pitch black, but in the distance the lights of my kingdom still shimmered. I wondered if my mother had gotten my text, if the guardsmen continued their search regardless.
“I don’t know, curiosity I guess,” Finn’s smooth voice pulled me back. “There’s something about the woods, this castle. It’s like someone’s calling me out here.” For a moment, my breath escaped me. A part of me often felt it heard that same call, but it was something I’d buried deep inside of me. He was quite possibly, the first and only person to ever reciprocate it.
I couldn’t hold back the quiet laugh that came from my lips. “Well, I don’t know if we’re looking at the same place here, but seems pretty abandoned to me.”
His head hung back against the doorframe as he smiled, his eyes rolling at me in humour, “very funny princess.” I scowled in return to his nickname, but I was rather coming to enjoy the banter between us. “I’ve heard the stories, I know this place has been abandoned for years but I don’t know, it just feels familiar to me,” he explained, taking a step forwards now and moving out onto the balcony. His eyes locked on the trees in front of us and all I could do was watch him. The muscles of his shoulder blades tensed, his hands gripping the balcony as he leaned forwards for a moment, then tipped back once more. His head shook, a gentle laughter shaking through him. “I know, it sounds totally crazy and probably just makes you want to go home more,” he added but I was quick to shake my head.
I didn’t even have to think to reply, the words coming so easily to me. “Not at all,” I took a step closer to him. “I mean, yes it’s a little crazy, considering how long it’s been since,” I trailed off without finishing my sentence, my eyes drifting back towards the crumbling castle walls.
“but maybe you are, you might not remember because the memories are traumatic. That could be the reason you have amnesia. There’s books in my family’s library about the people that used to live her, I’m sure of it. You could look through them, maybe it’ll jog your memory,. Maybe you’ll recognize something,” I knew I was grasping at straws here, not even sure if I could believe what I was saying, but desperately I wanted to comfort this man. I wanted to erase the sadness that lingered in his eyes, to somehow free him from it, the same way he’d offered me a piece of freedom from my kingdom by bringing me here tonight. It was quite possibly the only place I would surely never be found, the step away from my lands that I’d never known I needed.
“Thank you, Lena,” his voice came quiet this time. His hand captured mine, his fingers intertwining between them in such a familiar way I couldn’t quite understand. Meeting his eyes, a gentle smile formed on my lips and I couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to lose myself in him.
“Thank you, for bringing me here,” I whispered back.
This brought his smirk back to his lips, “Of course, I had to do something to hide the runaway bride.”
Instinctively, I brought my hand up and gave his arm a smack. It was hard, but I was the one that flinched away, surprised by my own actions. My hand flew up in front of my face, leaving Finn looking just as shocked as I was. “I’m so sorry,” I blurted out, unsure what to do or say next as I’d never acted out of line in such ways before.
Finn burst out laughing, the dark locks of his hair hanging down as his head dropped forwards. “Geez feisty, first you’re running away from weddings and now you’re hitting people? What’s next?”
At that comment, I joined in on the laughter. I was the farthest thing from a princess as possible tonight, standing here in leggings, my hair a mess beneath my hooded sweatshirt, laughing louder than I had in a long time. But out here, none of that mattered. No one was around to hear me, to watch me, to judge my every movement. It was just me and him, the boy with shining blue eyes that captured mine, making a big cheesy smile spread across my face.