Love Just Ain't Enough (BOOK TWO)

ONE: CROSS

Cross

Tumunog ang alarm clock ko. Pikit-matang inabot ko iyon sa aking uluhan upang patigilin sa paggawa ng ingay. I yawned as I stretched my whole body lazily. I glanced at my side and smiled at the sleeping form of my daughter. I snuggled close to her and breathe her heavenly scent. I kissed her on the cheek lightly, trying my best not to wake her up.

She's sleeping soundly and it made me giggle. She's too cute! Warmth flowed into the depths of my heart as I watched her chest rise and fall from deep slumber.

Waking up in the morning is my favorite part of the day. I love spending a few minutes just gazing at her lovely face. Tuwing umuuwi kasi ako sa gabi ay tulog na ito. And my body is dead tired from all-day work kaya pagkatapos ng nightly routine ko, I would usually just kiss her goodnight and whisper I love you at tulog na agad ako pagkalapat ng likod ko sa kama.

I heaved a deep sigh. Faye is my sole reason why I'm still breathing. My world was full of darkness and she was my only light. She brightened up my day. Kung wala ito, wala sigurong direksiyon ang buhay ko. Kaya sa kabila ng lahat ng masasakit na alaala ng nakaraan, ang araw na iniwan siya ni ate Becky sa akin ang pinaka-espesyal. When the first time she smiled at me, I knew she would be my hope. She would be my reason to overcome all the pain I had gone through. Ikakabaliw ko kung mawawala si Faye sa akin.

My girl will be five years old soon. I wish time would stop this time, so she won't grow up too soon.

Kinintalan ko ng magaan na halik ang kanyang noo bago ako bumangon. I pulled my hair up at gamit ang clamp, inipit ko iyon.

I tilted my head from left to right. Apat na oras lang ang naitulog ko. Well, lagi namang ganun. Ang pagiging server sa gabi ay isang trabaho na hindi ko kayang bitawan. Noong bagong salta pa lang ako dito sa Davao, nag-apply ako bilang waitress sa restautant ni Sir James. Malaki ang naitulong sa akin ang pagtatrabaho doon para makaraos sa pang araw-araw na gastos naming mag-anak.

At ngayong nagtatrabaho ako bilang events manager assistant sa isang di-kalakihang agency, pinili ko ang mag-partime sa ClubMix bar na pag-aari din ni Sir James. Mas convenient kasi sa time ko lalo na't madalas ay napapa-overtime ako sa opisina. Ang kagandahan kasi sa pagiging server sa ClubMix bar, pwede akong pumasok ng alas nueve ng gabi kung gugustuhin ko. My worktime usually ends at one o'clock in the morning. Malapit lang din ang bar sa tinitirhan naming apartment kaya by two o'clock masarap na ang tulog ko.

Nakapag-adjust na rin ako sa daily routine ko. Mula pa naman noon ay sanay na ako sa hectic schedule kaya hindi na ako nahirapan noong unang mga buwan ko dito sa Davao. Nakaya ko nga noon na maging carer ni.... I sighed and shook my head, shaking off the thoughts and memories of that person from the past.

"Good morning, la." Bati ko kay lola. Sa aming lahat ay siya ang pinakaunang nagigising.

Lola glanced at the wall clock. "Maligo ka na at baka ma-late ka na naman. Igagayak ko na ang mesa para makakain ka na agad."

Ngumiti ako at umikot sa kanyang likuran. I hugged her at tinukod ang baba sa kanyang balikat. "Salamat la sa pag-aalaga sa aming lahat."

"Lumubay ka, Beverly. Kumilos ka na. Naplantsa ko na ang uniporme mo at nakasabit sa loob iyong cabinet."

"Ito na nga la, kikilos na. Tulog pa si Nadine?"

"Gumagayak na yun. Maaga daw siyang papasok sa school."

Tumango ako. Speaking of her, lumabas ito mula sa kwarto nila ni lola. May nakabalot na tuwalya sa kanyang ulo pero naka-school uniform na ito.

"Magandang umaga, ate."

"Good morning. Maaga ka atang papasok?"

"Oo ate. May program kasi kami ngayong araw at inatasan kaming mag-ayos ng stage."

"Ah, ganun ba. May baon ka pa ba?"

Naglikot ang mata nito at pagkatapos ay alanganing ngumiti sa akin. "Meron pa naman, ate."

"Sandali lang." Ani ko.

Bumalik ako sa loob ng aking kwaarto at kinapa ang wallet sa aking bag. Kumuha ako doon ng dalawang daan. Bumalik ako sa kusina at inabot ang pera kay Nadine na malungkot na ngumiti sa akin.

"Wag kang papagutom sa school, ha."

Tumango ito. 'Sorry ate. May project kasi kami last week kaya nagamit ko na ang buong linggo kong baon para doon. Nakahiyaan kong magsabi sa'yo." Sagot nito at sinabayan ng yuko.

Binalot ng kirot ang puso ko. Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap ito. "Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa'yo na kung may kailangan ka, wag kang mahihiyang magsabi sa ate. Nalulungkot tuloy akong malaman na nagtitiis kang hindi kumain dahil ubos na pala ang baon mo."

"Sorry, ate. Alam ko kasi na marami ka nang iniintindi. Ayokong makadagdag sa suliranin mo."

"Nadz, hindi ka isang suliranin. Don't think that way. Alam mo namang kayo ni lola at ni Faye ang inspirasyon ko. Mag-aral ka lang ng mabuti, masaya na ako."

"Wag kang mag-alala ate. I'll be graduating soon. Maghahanap agad ako ng trabaho para mkatulong ako sa pang araw-araw na gastos ng pamilya."

Umiling ako at hinawakan ito sa magkabilang balikat. "Mag-aaral ka pa sa kolehiyo, Nadine. Kasalanan ko kung bakit natigil ka sa pag-aaral dahil sa pag-alis natin sa Palawan. Dapat nga ay nasa kolehiyo ka na ngayon. Wag kang mag-aalala, katulad ng ipinangako ko noon, makakapagtapos ka ng pag-aaral. Si ate ang bahala." I winked at her.

Lumabi ito sa akin. "Hindi naman ako nagsisi na tumigil ako sa pag-aaral ng dalawang taon, ate. Masaya akong inaalagaan si Faye."

"At hindi ako titigil sa pagpapasalamat sa iyo at kay lola sa pagsuporta n'yo sa desisyon kong umalis ng Palawan at manirahan dito sa Davao."

"Ate naman. We are family. Family should stick together through thick and thin."

"Right." Ngumisi ako.

"Hay naku ang drama nyong dalawa. Baon lang ang pinag-uusapan tapos napunta na diyan. Bakit ba napaka emosyonal ata ng mga kabataan ngayon kahit sa simpleng bagay." Pumalatak si lola na busy sa paghahain ng pagkain sa mesa.

Lumawak ang ngiti ko. Para namang hindi ko nakita itong pasikretong nagpapahid ng luha kanina lang. Siya kaya ang pinaka-sensitive sa aming lahat.

Mabilis akong naligo at nagbihis. I was busy drying my hair with the towel when two tiny arms hugged my waist from behind.

"Mommy." She whispered drowsily.

I threw the towel on the chair and spun around. Nakataas na ang dalawag braso nito at ngumisi ako. I carried her and kissed her on the lips.

"Good morning, beautiful."

She yawned. "Mooowwnin." Pagkatapos ay binaon ang mukha sa aking leeg. My hold around her tightened. I closed my eyes as I savor the warmth coming from my baby. She always makes my day and just her hugging me, my day is now complete.

"Let's have breakfast."

I felt her nodding. Paglabas namin sa kwarto ay sa bathroom kami dumiretso. My baby needs to pee first and freshen up. Ito lang ang nagagawa ko sa kanya kada araw dahil after breakfast, maabutan ko na itong tulog sa gabi.

Inupo ko ito sa aking tabi at pinaglagay ng pagkain sa kanyang hello kitty na plato. My girl loves to eat at laking pasalamat ko na hindi ito pihikan sa pagkain.

Nasa kalagitnaan na ako ng pagsubo nang tumunog ang cellphone ko. I scrambled to my feet and fished the phone inside my shoulder bag na pinatong ko sa upuan sa sala.

The call was from my events manager.

"Hello Dette? Good morning."

"Where are you?" Bakas ang iritasyon sa kanyang boses.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Ang aga-aga para magsungit nito, huh.

"Dito pa sa bahay, kumakain ng almusal. Why?"

"My God, Bea. Kumakain ka pa lang ng almusal? And here I thought you're on your way now. Nakalimutan mo na kung anong araw ngayon?"

Wednesday ngayon. Anong meron today? Kinuha ko ang aking book planner sa bag. Salubong ang kilay kong hinanap kung anong meron sa araw na ito.

I gasped and my eyes grew big.

"Holy shit." I uttered in surprise.

"Exactly. How could you forget gayong nung isang araw ay ikaw pa ang nagfollow-up sa hotel para sa reservation ng function hall and we even visited the venue right after?"

"I know right." Kumagat-labi ako. What the hell is wrong with me? God, I was such a mess.

"Now get your ass here, right now!"

Sinapo ko ang aking noo. Bakit ko nakalimutan na may convention pala kami ngayon? My god, Bea, you're hopeless.

"Okay papunta na ako."

"Go straight to Marco Polo hotel. I will meet you at the entrance hall."

"Okay. I'm sorry, Dette."

"Just hurry up. Save your sorry ass later." She replied and I could tell she's smirking now.

Bumalik ako sa kusina para uminom ng tubig. I kissed Faye on the head at nagmamadali akong bumalik sa kwarto. I still have to fix myself. Ni hindi ko pa nagawang magsuklay ng buhok.

Sa isang taon kong pagtatrabaho bilang assistant manager, hindi ito ang unang beses na nakaligtaan kong may ganap pala kami. At kahit may kasungitan si Bernadette, hindi pa ako nito kailanman sinabon ng todo-todo. I'm quite good at my job, it just that I tend to jumble up my schedule kaya nagkakamali ako minsan. No, I'd take it back. I'm not good at it. I sucked in events management.

If there's one thing that I am good at, iyan ay ang paglalagay ng make-up. Sa tingin ko nga ay namaster ko na iyon. Ito ang isa sa mga bagay na natutununan ko sa pagtatrabaho sa restobar.

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. Ang laki ng pinagbago ng hitsura ko. I looked like I'm in my thirties. Ganun talaga. Kapag madami kang responsibilidad sa buhay, pampering yourself is out of the question. I'm not complaining though. I have grown out of giving importance to myself.

But since we have an upcoming event today, I must look presentable. I opened the drawer under my table and decided to wear a pair of earrings. Kinalkal ko iyon dahil hindi ko makita ang box na pinaglagyan ko ng mga Class A jewelries ko. Napatigil ako nang makita ang pouch na iyon. Katulad ng dati, tuwing nakikita ko ang pouch ay hindi ko mapigilang buksan ito at tignan ang loob.

I gnawed my lower lip when it started to tremble. My fingers shook when they touched the necklace. My chest constricted in pain when memories of him flashed before me like a lightning. I avoided reading and watching any news about him. I wanted to ban his name in this household but lola and Nadine couldn't keep their mouths shut getting excited whenever his name appeared on the TV screen. I really have no idea if he is physically fit by this time. Wala naman kasing reports about sa current health status nito at wala rin itong pictures sa social media outfits.

Pero isang bagay lang ang alam ko.

Alejandro Salvatore is a married man. Apparently, he married Adrielle two months after they left for US.

I scoffed as my eyes turned into slits. Asshole.

I trembled when I felt my cheeks getting wet. These damn tears. Akala mo may sariling buhay. When will I ever get over him? When will he stop haunting me in my dreams? I wish it were that easy. If only my heart wasn't as stubborn as my mind. But someday, I hope I could forget him. Even though wiping him in my heart is easier said than done, I'm getting there.

**********

Lakad takbo ang ginawa ko pagkababa ko sa jeep. Mabuti na lang at hindi pa gaanong trapik. Naghahabol ako ng hininga nang makarating sa function hall. Sa entrance pa lang ay nakahalukipkip na si Dette and I could sense dark aura emitting from her body.

Kumagat-labi ako at pinagsalikop ang mga daliri. Please God, don't let her evil side come out.

"Good morning!" Masiglang bati ko. I was late for five minutes pero hindi naman siguro ako ganun ka-late, yes?

She looked me up and down. "You're late."

Obviously.

She tossed her stubborn curly hair. "Pasalamat ka, hindi pa sila dumadating."

"Sorry na. Nawala talaga sa isip ko."

"Matagal ko naman nang sinasabi sa'yo na hindi mo kayang pagsabayin ang trabaho sa araw at pagiging serbedora sa gabi. You are not a freaking superwoman! You can't even get a proper sleep!"

I hid my grin. She's being a whole big sister mode now. One thing I like about her is that even though she nags at me most of the time, I know it's her way of taking care of me.

"I'm fine, Dette. Any new changes?"

"Ah yes. Speaking of that, our client, the marketing manager of SGC just talked to me a while ago that Mr. Richards won't be the speaker of today's event. The chairman himself will be the one speaking to the guests."

Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Okay."

Mayamaya lang ay dumating na ang mag invited guests mula sa malalaki at malilit na companies sa buong bansa. Kami ni Dette ay nagtaka nung una kung bakit sa lahat ng lugar sa Pilipinas ay dito sa Davao nais gawin ng SGC ang naturang convention. Pero malaking tulong ito sa agency dahil kahit marami diyan ang mas magagaling at higit na mas kilalang events agency, kami ang pinili ng kompanya.

Our staffs served as usherettes. They guided the guests to their respective seats. The head chef went to our table and informed us that the food or snacks will be ready any time.

The speaker and their staffs are late. Kami ni Dette ay hindi na mapakali sa aming kinatatayuan dito sa entrance hall. Bilang manager at ako bilang assistant niya, we usually greet the main speaker sa entrance pa lang. In fact, nakagayak na ang garland na pinrepara namin para isabit sa leeg ng speaker.

"Sino nga ulit ang bagong speaker, Dette?" I asked while flipping the pageS of my planner.

"Chairman of SGC, duh." She rolled her eyes at me.

I was seconds away to roll my eyes at her too. "I need the name, Dette. Should I just address him as Mr. Speaker?" Hindi ko maiwasang lakipan ng inis ang boses ko.

"Alam mo ikaw..." She sighed exasperatingly. "Sometimes I can't help but to question my judgment. I don't understand why I promoted you as my assistant."

"Because I'm reliable."

"Reliable, my ass." She snarled. "I bet you didn't read our client's company's profile, did you?"

"I'm not the one who has contacts with them. It's you." I retaliated.

"God, Bea. How in the world you don't know about Salvatore Group of Companies? Are you living in the cave?"

My hand stopped moving in midair. "Did you say Sal—Salvatore?"

"Speaking of him, nandito na sila!" She squeaked and stood straight beside me. I followed her gaze.

A group of five men in business suits were walking towards our direction, but my eyes landed on the man walking behind them.

He walked in a relax manner with his head up. He walked as if he has all the time in the world. He walked as if the path he's stepping on were a flowery road.

I couldn't blink my eyes. And I couldn't tear them away from him either. My heart is pumping on its abnormal pace. This is not good. I am having a hard time breathing I might collapse.

Dette nudged and handed me the garland. "You have to put this around his neck." She whispered.

"Why me?" I trembled.

"Because girl, just in case you didn't know, you have a face that could launch a thousand ships. Hurry up." She pushed me forward and I almost stumbled.

Get your s**t together, Beverly Ann!

The man stopped right in front of me. I was appalled by the fact that he's so tall and I have to tilt my head back to meet his eyes. Those gray eyes I'm so familiar with.

"Hi." He whispered.

Fuck. Just like that, my world started to crumble. Just one word with two letters, he managed to flip my emotions upside down.

God, why? Why did You allow our paths to cross again?