CHAPTER 1. Four Phugs, The sons of old Rach.
1239 Words
The three Heavy carts rumbled up the dirt track.
They were all brightly coloured and announced the “GREAT FUG PERFORMERS EXTRODINAIR”
This was because they were currently travelling through the territory of the Satite Empire.
They also had a hidden banner claiming to be the “GREAT GUFFY AND HIS AMAZING PERFORMERS!” in a set of different bright colours for when they wanted to go to the Sunite Empire.
But today they were the “GREAT FUG PERFORMERS EXTRODINAIR”
They were a travelling troupe of merry minstrels, comedians, dancers, clowns and acrobats.
They were also a travelling troupe of Blackmailers, Con Artist, Smugglers, Assassins, and Thieves!
The head of this band when they were in the Satite Empire was known as Grand Master Fug.
The same person, was who was the head of this troupe when they were in the Sunite empire, was called Ring Master Guffy instead.
But his real name was Dodg Phug.
This was the entertainment caravan that he was travelling with at the moment, but he had a network of over twenty-five such caravans.
All spreading high-value entertainment and crime on both sides of both imperial borders.
He had not seen his children for over a year now,
Sometimes he missed his four boys, the youngest was only six while his oldest was nearly a man now at seventeen.
He had to leave them with their Grandmother while he worked.
But this caravan on this route would get him back home to his mum and his children just before the end of this spring, only about three weeks away.
And he had presents for everyone and bundles of paper to add to the well-ordered stacks of files that his mum, his boss, carefully hid!
Meanwhile, in merchant port city of Pi-Ahch-Ugg, the merchant prince sat at his polished desk, updating by hand various pieces of paperwork that had just arrived vie secret discrete courier.
Some of the very important documents were annoyingly stained with stage greasepaint.
He hated it when that happened!
His secret couriers knew this and the merchant prince was starting to suspect that they did it on purpose to piss him off!
In a secret office, On his desk were four different large impressive Seals to wax closed different types of letters and orders.
Technically speaking… one seal represented him and the other three were those of his most ruthless and vile competitors.
Only technically speaking…
But as all four were actually, in reality, this same merchant prince under different identities, it did not really matter.
He had managed through fake wars and conflicts between the various fake names to control over ninety per cent of all Saitite empire sea trade and eighty per cent of all Sunite sea trade.
He also happed to have been born as Hitt Phug.
He also happens to be all three of the most feared pirate kings.
(Who also had fake wars against each other.)
It is worth noting that although the wars were staged and set up for tactical gains, the deaths of people and loss of innocent life was all real!
Despite all this power, Hitt Phug was not the boss of his organization.
He had a boss!
But he had not heard from her in a while!
Under the Satite imperial Capital was a series of service passages for cargo and storage.
Under those Satite Capital passages were some sewers.
Under those Satite Capital Sewers were some ancient crypts.
Under the Satite Capital, ancient crypts were the remains of a far older city.
Under the remains of this far older city were some natural caverns.
Under those natural caverns was some hidden tunnels.
And those hidden tunnels lead to the undercity of Sunset.
Here the Sunset king sat.
The population of his kingdom was very small, only a few hundred.
But each of those “Citizens” was a master of either the thief or an Assassin guild somewhere else in the world.
The Sunset king had been born as Miys Phug.
And he was sitting at a desk, busy writing a letter to his mum.
She had not replied to the last one.
The Sunite Empire and the Satite Empire were edging to the brink of all-out total war with each other.
However, Even Empires who hated each other as much as the Satite and the Sunite empire did, still had to often communicate between themselves.
How can you declare war over a province if you can not send a message to your enemy?
So a type on an unofficial neutral third party developed.
Made up of diplomats and some traders, this courier service was established to provide official worldwide mail and travel for those who could afford it.
At both ends, both empires would read every piece of mail and check every parcel in large secure clearinghouses, to stop the service from being misused by spies or smugglers.
For such an official network to exist, both empires had begrudgingly worked together to produce the Bronze Flag Network two hundred years ago.
Now, after two hundred years of neutrality, the Bronze Flag as an entrenched institution was relied on by both empires!
So the Master of the Bronze Flag had A LOT of power!
The Master of the Bronze Flag answered neither to the Sunite or the Satie Empires!
No one would dare ask him how he hung his toilet roll!
BUT if they did ask him, how he hung his toilet roll, he would reply.
“How the hell would I know, I don’t wipe my own arse!!
“I pay other people to do that!”
This would be followed by a polite laugh from all around him for his witty comment, followed by the disappearance of the person who had dared ask such a question within twelve hours.
No further questions would be asked!
His name was Archimedes Sheffield High Master of the Bronze Flag Order!
But he was born Bug Phug, the smallest of four brothers from a small county town.
And Bug Phug DID answer to one person!
Granny Rach Phug a Harmless-looking little old lady of eighty-eight was on a small pack pony.
Old, in cheap but warm clothing, on a third rate mount, she ambled along peacefully.
Not appearing to be worth bothering or robbing.
She was starting a long tour of the world to give a very personal visit to all four of her surviving sons.
Her grandchildren were presently being looked after by friends.
Those babysitting friends were rebels hunted by the Satite Empire.
These rebels were trying to stop demons from destroying the world.
Demons that secretly controlled BOTH empires!
Granny Rach Phug was also a rebel wanted by the Satite Empire.
Recently two of her four grandchildren had been killed.
One, Mitch Phug, a seventeen-year-old by a possessed Sunite spy.
The other aged only thirteen, Tug Phug, had been eaten by a giant demonic owl.
This was not a visit to her sons as a social call, it was a rallying of forces and resources to help her rebel friends.
In her side baggage, within easy reach was a magical blood-drinking axe if she needed it.
But she also had an arsenal of many other hidden weapons.
Granny Phug heard that there was a travelling troupe of minstrels and jesters at a nearby town.
Granny Phug was on her way to see it.
- Writer
