Robin's Curse

Kabanata 7

The days passed by, rapidly. It turns into weeks and months without me noticing it. I am enjoying the peaceful life that I am having right now. Sleav and I finally found what's common on us.

Almost alone.

Different.

Unexplainable.

I thought the only thing that I will feel about him is annoyance. His words stung whenever he is talking like a granps, he is old fashioned and doesn't know most of the things but lately I realized, I am also like him at first. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang naghihintay sa akin na mundo sa paglabas ko sa Hospital. I also don't know how to make someone comfortable of my presence. Even how to properly use my type of words or my voice. We are rightfully the same. Different in some aspects but sharing the same problem.

We vibe most of the time. I found another friend in him. Although his words are somewhat uncomfortable to dealt with, I found peace whenever we are talking. Nailalabas ko lahat ng frustrations ko kay Mommy, sa trabaho at lalo na kay Oscar Lee. Although minsan nakaka-frsutrate din marinig ang 'My Lord' sa boses niya sa tuwing nakakalimutan niya ang usapan namin.

It's so hard to stop him from making me feel superior, that is why we made a deal that I almost wanted to regret.

"You know what—I mean, alam mo, Sleav, hindi mo ako kailangan tawagin na My Lord dahil..." tinignan ko siya at napansing naghihintay siya sa aking sasabihin. Wala sa sarili akong napabuntong hininga.

"Dahil tao lang din ako. Ang pagkabuhay ko sa iyo, hindi ko iyon sinasadya. Hindi ko alam na magagawa ko iyon." pagod ang boses ko na nababahiran ng iritasyon.

"Kung gayon, nais mo bang tawagin kita sa iyong pangalan o may iba ka pang nais?"

Hindi ako nagbigay ng sagot. Sleav... His life is now one of my greatest secret. If they find out about his sudden appearance, they will take that as a clue. A head start to bring me back to the Hospital and do experiments on my body.

But as of this moment I am wondering, wala ba talagang alam si Oscar tungkol sa katotohanan ng pagkatao ni Sleav? O iyon ang dahilan kaya naging ganito ang sitwasyon ko? Sa Ilang linggo na nakakaraan, Pabalik balik ang mga Medical staff para paulit ulit itanong sa akin ang mga walang kwentang bagay.

I bite my lips to supress the unpleasant words I am about to express. Kahit papaano ay aware pa rin ako na nasa tabi ko lang si Sleav. I always heard him snickered whenever I am cussing. Hindi ko alam bakit niya alam iyon. I always cussed in English, as a matter of fact. Hindi rin maganda sa pandinig ko ang tagalog but who cares? Parehas lang iyon.

"Tawagin mo ako sa pangalan ko, Sleav." walang ganang sambit ko.

Kinawag ko ang paa ko na nakalubog sa ilalim ng tubig. Naging paborito na naming pahingahan ang tulay, tulad ng gawain ko noon. Noon na normal pa ang lahat.

wala pa akong ganitong kakayahan.

"Dapat kitang turingin na mas mataas sa akin," halos pabulong niyang sambit. Umikot ang mga mata ko.

"Tulad ng sinabi ko, hindi ko sinadyang tawagin ka. Huwag mo isiping may utang na loob ka sa akin. Isa pa, bakit mo pa ako binigyan ng pagpipilian kung hindi ka rin susunod sa pinili ko," komento ko.

Sumulyap siya sa akin, kahit nakasimangot ako at pinakikitang hindi ako natutuwa sa usapan, hindi ko nabakasan ng takot ang kaniyang mukha.

"Kung gayon, hayaan mong palitan ko ng malaking kabayaran ang aking utang na loob. Kung hindi mo nais na turingin kitang panginoon, hayaan mong sumumpa ko sa iyong harapan na anuman ang mangyari, ang buhay mo ay aking pangangalagaan. " Mahaba at halos madamdamin niyang sambit.

"So, gusto mo naman maging tagapagligtas ngayon? Mula sa alipin hanggang sa tagapagligas. Umaangat ka yata," pabiro kong sambit, sinusubukang tuyain siya.

Tango ang naging sagot niya. Pagak akong natawa. Ibang klase rin talaga siya. Wala akong kawala at bakit pakiramdam ko siya pa ang nasusunod? Umiling ako at hindi na lang nagsalita, tumingala at pinagmasdan ang nagbabagong kulay ng ulap tanda na papalubog na ang araw. Panibagong araw na naman ang magtatapos. Araw na kokompleto sa ikatatlong buwan ng pamumuhay ko ng normal.

---

"Robs, can you get cereal outside. Naubusan na tayo," I herd Jean said. Tumango ako saka nagsimulang tahakin ang daan palabas kung saan naroroon ang imbakan ng stocks.

My eyes darted on the round clock place above the entrance door of the kitchen.

Five thirty in the morning.

The wind blew aggressively, trying to take away the warm feeling I have. I shivered. Wala pang makikitang kahit isang bisitang naglalakad. We have eighty packs of visitors to feed and being here at this hour is normal. Probably at six thirty, they will come for breakfast.

At least we are not taking over time unless one of our shifting partners won't be able to take it on time.

I saw a silhouette standing not so far way from the door of the comfort room made for kitchen staff. I wonder who it is and what is he doing there so I cleared my throat as a sign of my presence. I saw him tilted his head towards my side.

"Ahm... What are you doing there?" I asked, still don't know who it was.

He walked towards me and when the lights finally touches the upper part of his body, I saw Sleav. I shooked my head and murmured, "Akala ko kung sino na."

"Bakit nasa labas ka?" Tanong niya. Nagkibit ako ng balikat.

"I need to get cereals. Wala na kaming stock sa loob," sagot ko. Hindi siya kumibo.

Nilingon ko siya.

"Naiintindihan mo ba?" tanong ko. Tumango siya.

"Nakaiintindi ako ng Ingles. Hindi ko lang nais gamitin ang wika na hindi atin," muli ay pag-uulit niya sa naging sagot sa tanong ko ilang araw na ang nakalilipas.

"Hindi ka ba naniniwala?" tanong niya. Umuling ako.

"Naniniwala naman. Sinisiguro ko lang na naiintindhan mo ako. Actually knowing that you understand the language I usually used to communicate makes me comfortable. Nasanay ako na gamitin ang wika na iyon lalo na at ganoon naman ang gamit ng mga tao sa lugar na pinang-galingan ko." Paliwanag ko.

Tumango siya bilang tugon.

Pumasok ako sa loob ng stock room at saka tumungo sa estante na kinalalagyan ng Cereals. Dumampot na rin ako ng tacos chips at ilan pang alam kong wala na sa loob. I saw him behind me so I gave him some of it. Kahit dining staff naman siya, may permiso sila na makapasok sa kitchen and he is there and I know he will surely offer for help. Sa ilang buwan ko rin siyang kasama, nasasanay na ako sa presensya niya at mga bagay na lagi niyang ginagawa. Like what I said, I am finally accepting him as a friend.

"Who's with you?" Natigilan ako matapos marinig ang tanong niya.

What the hell? He did speak in English!

Nilingon ko siya, nanlalaki ang mga mata.

"You are the one who asked that, right?" he didn't answer nor nodded.

I hissed at him. "Come on, Sleav. Marunong ka naman pala. Goodness! English suits your voice. How come you didn't use that side of yours?" I almost laugh at my comments.

He just let me speak almost ill about him. Trying to tease him about it.

"Tulad ng sabi ko...." pinutol ko na ang sasabihin niya.

"Speaking in english doesn't mean you are backstabbing your country, you know?" I said as a matter of fact. That's an international language.

"I know. But that's how I feel whenever I am using it, like this time."

"You shouldn't feel that way. Besides wala namang rules na nagsasabing ganoon at if meron man, It is also good to break some rules once in your life," I said.

He shrugged. "I am born to follow the rules," he answered and left me there, puzzled and curious about what he meant by that.

Is he saying the truth? That he doesn't know who he was or.... he is just hiding his whole identity?

------

"One hour lunch break, one hour lunch break." tawanan ang sumunod sa mga salitang iyon.

"Hoy! fifteen minutes pa." sambit ni Jean. Natatawa rin habang inaayos ang salad na hinahanda.

Hindi ko maiwasang 'di mapailing. Thank God at departure na ng sixty plus na bisita at iilan na lang ang natitira. That only means, malaki ang oras na pwedeng kainin ng mga kitchen staff as their break. Ganoon naman palagi kapag walang masyadong bisita o 'di kaya ay departure ng mga bisita.

Bukas ay pahinga namin dahil mananatiling bilang sa kuko ang bisita habang kinabukasan pagkatapos noon ay kasal ang aasikasuhin.

"Maalam ka na sa pizza, Robs?" Tanong ng kapalitan namin na si Beng. Tumango ako.

"Nagagamay ko na kahit papaano." tipid kong sagot.

"Napakatahimik mo talaga. Kung 'di ka tanungin hindi ka magsasalita. Buti hindi napapanis laway mo," bumungisngis siya matapos sabihin iyon. Sinuklian ko lamang siya ng tipid na ngiti. Wala akong masasabing higit pa sa kanila at mas lalong hindi ko kayang magpatawa o makipagbiruan.

"I'll just pee, Jean," paalam ko na tinanguan niya naman. Narinig ko pa ang ilang komento tungkol sa pagiging tahimik ko na hindi ko na binigyan pa ng ibang kahulugan.

Paglabas ko naabutan ko ang iilang dining staff na nakaupo sa bench na malapit sa comfort room. Tumango ako bilang tanda ng pagbati na sinuklian nila ng ngiti. Ang iba ay may hawak hawak pang pagkain at halatang ngayon pa lang nagsimula ang lunch break.

I saw Sleav approaching them with a nod and smile. Hindi tulad ko, siya ay maayos na nakakasalumuha at nakakausap ng mga kasamahan niya kahit ng mga nasa kusina. I don't know if they are asking him about me since kung sa akin sila matatanong ay wala silang makukuhang kasagutan.

"Sleav, kamusta iyong kano? Malaki ba ang tip?" rinig kong tanong ng isa niyang kasamahan bago ko tuluyang maisara ang pinto ng comfort room.

I did my thing and finally went out. Iilan na lamang ang nandoon sa bench. Hula ko ay nagsauli ng pinagkainan ang iba kaya naman nagkawala. But Sleav he is still there. Dahil wala namang gaanong gagawin sa loob, tinawid ko ang pagitan ng bench at comfort room. Ngumiti sa akin ang ilan niyang kasamahan.

Pinili kong umupo ilang sentimetro malayo sa kaniya.

"Have you eaten?" I asked. Tumango siya.

"How about you?" Napatingin ako sa kaniya, nanlalaki pa rin ang mata at hindi sanay na naririrnig siyang ginagamit ang wika na iyon. Gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi ko, ngiting may haalong panunuya.

"Nasasanay ka na, tignan mo," kahit ako ay nababakas ko ang tuwa sa boses ko. Hearing him talking in English is like seeing an alien. I am a little bit scared yet mesmerized.

"Doon ko nakikitang komportable ka kung kaya aking sinasanay ang aking sarili," Ngumiwi ako matapos marinig muli siya.

"Bakit nga ba ganiyan ka uli magsalita, Sleav?" tanong ng isa niyang kasamahan sa tapat namin.

"Sapagkat sa ganito akong salita lumaki at sinanay," paliwanag niya.

"Mahigpit siguro pamilya mo, 'no? Konti na lamang ang ganiyan ngayon, e. Tignan mo paano kami magsalita. Tagalog man pero ibang iba na." puna ng kasamahan niya.

Ngimiti lamang siya doon.

"Ilang oras ang break niyo?" pagkuway pagbabalik ko ng usapan.

"One hour but I guess they will let us have it for two since we only have eighteen visitors," nakangiti akong tumango. Nasisiyahan sa pakikinig sa boses niya.

"Kami rin. Maybe I'll sleep with them para makapahinga rin. These past few days I haven't got enough sleep," I mumured the last part, enough for the both of us to hear.

I can feel his eyes on me. "Is it because of those people?" I heard him asked, portraying to the medical staffs. I nodded.

"I don't know what they want but I feel like there is something I need to get prepared to. Something strange," I answered.

"Do you think Oscar is up to something?" he asked. I look at him.

"How about you? Do you think he is up to something?" I backfired.

I saw something crossed his eyes yet he immediately hide it.

"It doesn't matter," I keep my eyes on him, still trying to read him. When I didn't get anything I said the words on my head.

"Do you trust him?" He didn't speak and give me an answer. He just stare in front, I guess trying to think of my question. I sighed. Maybe he does. Of course he does. That lying conniving man gave him home. It doesn't matter if he is sincere or not but the fact that he made Sleav live with us is actually enough reason for him to trust Oscar.

I saw Jean and the others went out of the kitchen, finally taking their break. I smiled at them when they wave their hands at me.

I stood up and took my step.

"I'll go now," I bid my goodbye to him but before I can take one more step away from him, he gave me his answer. Answer that made me wonder why.

"I don't and I will never will."