Let Me Love You {forever} book 2

Chapter # 1 {girls night out}

BELLA'S P.O.V-

"Bella, I'm worried about you." My mom just had to say something as she continued to watch me pace back and forth in front of Maddox's room. She had made my old room up for him and I had just laid him down for a nap in his toddler bed.

"There's no need to be worried about me mom. I'm fine. I just do this sometimes... When I'm thinking."

"You're thinking about Andy and how much you miss him. That's all you do when he's gone, besides take care of your son. You need another distraction Bella, you need a break."

I stopped for a moment to look her in the eyes and see the worry in them. She was legitimately worried about me.... I sighed and forced myself to completely stop moving.

"And what kind of distraction? I don't need to work, Andy has everything taken care of. Not that I'd want to be away from Mad all the time like that anyway... "

She looked like she was thinking....

"Isn't Ellie back for winter break now? Why don't you and her go out clubbing. Relax a little you know, have fun. You're not breastfeeding anymore so drink it up and I'll watch Maddox. You know I always will whenever you need a break."

My mother was now working from home, selling random things for different companies over the phone. She made way more money than she did working at the women's and babies hospital.

I glanced in the room at my sleeping baby. Again I sighed. He was going to be 3 soon and I had barely left his side. It was so hard for me. I hated seeing his little blue eyes cry. My mom said I caved way too much with him and he was going to end up spoiled. I completely disagreed. He was perfect and he would be perfect just like Andy when he grew up. We would teach him values. Andy was very hard headed about those kind of things.

"But mo-"

"He will be fine with me. He loves his maw-maw. He never notices when you are away when he's with me, we have fun and I keep him distracted. Seriously call Ellie young woman, or I'll do it for you."

I wanted to protest but I honestly didn't see any point in it. "Fine mother." She gave me a smug grin and I walked past her, heading down the stairs.

I sat down in the den, taking my phone out of my pocket. I twirled it around in my hands a few times like I always did when I was nervous and then I lit up the screen and unlocked it.

I hadn't talked to Ellie in at least a month. She was so busy and had made a whole bunch of college friends. I felt like the odd one out of everything. I was the stay at home mom. Everyone else had busy 'social' lives.

Opening up our text box that I had never deleted from October I sent her a simple, 'hey.' And waited.

Soon 5 minutes passed and my phone vibrated.

Ellie- BEELLLAAA!!! I miss you, are you home!?

Her reply made me feel so relieved. She still loved me hahaha

Me- I'm at my moms, are you in town?

Ellie- hell yeah! I'm back until after January 2nd! What are doing tonight?

Me- actually, I'm at moms house and she's gonna watch mad, wanna go out tonight?

Ellie- Hell yeah! Meet me at my parents house and we'll get dressed up, I just went shopping for this specific kind of thing.

Ellie knew how to dress and she always had a closet full of shoes and accessories. We would look hot tonight no doubt.

I was suddenly extremely excited. I'd have to take a picture of myself and send it to Andy.

I peaked in Maddox's room one more time before heading out, letting my mom know I was leaving. I hated being away from my little boy but I knew that if mommy didn't get a break every once and awhile she'd go nutso...

I grabbed my purse and left, locking up the house and then headed down the sidewalk I had walked a billion times to get to Ellies.

I was greeted with a large smile and hug. "I missed you so much beautiful girl"

As soon as I stepped inside I immediately felt at home. Ellies house had always been a second home for me growing up.

"My parents are away for business, so I have a little surprise for you..."

I followed her up the stairs and into her room where she shut and locked it.

Once inside I sat on the bed, watching her pull something out of the purse on her mantel.

It was a joint!

"Ell, I haven't done that it forever I don't think I wanna-"

"Oh come on Bella we used to have so much fun getting high in my room just sitting on my bed laughing for hours at nothing and eating everything... One little joint isn't going to hurt anything. And then it'll be a lot more fun to make ourselves up to go clubbing tonight..."

I let my brain process what she had just said for a few moments before outstretching my hand to her. "Ok fine." Deep down I wanted too but of course the thought of Maddox crossed my mind. And Andy... He didn't like this stuff. But he wasn't here and Mad was safe with my mom. This was my night and I needed to enjoy it.

I put it to my lips and she lit it for me. I inhaled slowly watching the paper turn orange and slowly burn away. And then I handed it to her and held in for a few moments before pushing it out of my lungs. I started to cough a bit and Ellie chuckled. "Yeahhhh girl."

She took a hit next, doing almost the exact same thing minus the coughing so hard.

"Weak hit." I teased. She furrowed her eyebrows at me and did it again. She was immediately coughing and gagging.

"Too hard! I think you got some of the paper, give it to me."

I messed with the tip a little before bringing my lips to it and hitting it hard. I could feel my head spin a little and l let it out slower than before, the smoke lingering all around my head.

Right then it hit me. I felt lightheaded and I giggled randomly.

Ellie looked at me and smiled brightly. "That's what I'm talking about."

I completely pushed the thought of Andys disapproving face out of my mind and stood up, twirling around Ellies room.

"Alright come on, let's get pretty." I wanted to leave early tonight and hit up every bar possible! "We're both 21 now baby so let's do this right."

Ellie ended up taking the last hit and then went to outen it in the bathroom. When she came back she pulled out 3 big bags of clothing from her closet and one by one she dumped them all over her floor. Every article of clothing that I could see still had a price tag attached to it and there was even jewelry and makeup items.

"You've been busy...." I stated casually and then began to laugh hysterically again, causing her to laugh with me.

"That's an understatement. In college we are pretty much going clubbing during every ounce of free time. I needed a new wardrobe to support this horrible habit."

I began to rummage through the piles on the floor. Instantly I found a dress I wanted to try on. It was black and what looked to be thigh high, with golden jaguars imprinted all over it. "Pretty." I exclaimed, standing up and began to strip. It was then that I realized I wasn't wearing any underwear....."Shit."

Ellie looked at me confused. "What's wrong Bella?"

"I'm gonna need to borrow a pair of your undergarments lady."

She began to laugh at me. "f*****g Andy man. Not letting you wear underwear and shit..."

I busted out laughing. "It's not that he doesn't let me, there's just no point anymore and I've gotten in the habit of not wearing them even when he's not here." It was true... And I was always secretly hoping that he'd randomly show up wherever I was and... Yeah you get the picture. It was like I was always waiting for him to surprise me. It was because I missed him so damn much.

Ellie threw me a pair of lacy black underwear and I slipped them on, followed by the dress. It fit perfectly and I knew I had already found my outfit. I decided to only wear some little gold bow studs and the bracelets I had been wearing all day and my engagement ring of course. The necklace Andy had given me was being repaired at the jewelry place. Maddox had yanked so hard on it that the clasp on the back broke, taking a few links of the chain with it.

Quickly I stepped in front of Ellies full body mirror and snapped a pic of myself. I selected Andys name and sent it to him.

Ellie went with a black thigh high dress with mid section cutouts adorned by little gold bobby pins. It was really cool. I still had some slight stretch marks left over from being pregnant, so I would never wear something like that but I was hoping one day that I'd get up the courage to. Every summer since having Maddox I had worn a one piece.

Andy frowned on me for it because he loved the way my body looked now more than ever. He had told me that motherhood had been very good to it. I knew in time I would get over my insecurities about it just like I had gotten over every other one. Andy was so good to me. I knew how lucky I was.

¥

Ellie and I finished getting dressed, doing our hair and makeup before we headed out around 7 to get something to eat before hitting up bars. I was wearing one of Andy's old trench coats today, that I refused to let him wash by the way hahaha and it was convenient considering I was wearing a dress in the middle of winter. I had no idea this would end up happening tonight.

Ellie obviously had her license now and her own car because of going back and forth between college, home, her job and other places. The farthest I had gotten was my permit. I wanted Andy to be the one to teach me how to drive but he was usually always busy. One day I would get my license and become more independent. Right now I was completely focused on my son. I was pretty much a house fiancé. Hahahahahah I laughed to myself in my head.

We hit up our old favorite burrito joint where we used to go every summer with the crew. I don't know why but I usually always ended up eating burritos before drinking... It pretty much never upset my stomach though. I guess I was lucky.

We both had the major munchies and ordered a large order of nacho chips as well, with extra guac and two virgin icy mojito drinks. They didn't serve any alcohol here.

"So.... Where's Emmett? How's he doing? What's he doing?"

I watched Ellie take a huge sip of her drink, clenching her eyes, I was guessing, brain freeze. After she regained her composure. "Not now ok? It's gonna kill my buzz."

That didn't sound good at all. And I was guessing that they were either having problems or had broken up... They were both attending different colleges and Emmett was in Washington now.

"Ok, girl I got you."

"So how's life with Andy being gone? How's Maddox? I miss him so much I need to see him sometime this week."

She immediately changed the subject.

"It's rough. I miss him like crazy. You know me. You'd think that I would have already gotten used to him being away so much. But my mom has been helping me out a lot. We've grown even closer because of it. Mad loves her. He's so big and smart. He's already beginning to talk in sentences. They're little but we're really starting to understand them now. I'm glad you're going to be here for his 3rd birthday."

We talked for at least an hour, catching up with each other. I had missed our conversations and just being with her. Before Andy came into my life she was the one I had always turned to and the one who always had my back. We still reminisced about how I ended up with her idol.

"Ok, it's time to start having some fun." She said, after we got the bill and she finished paying at the front. I nodded in agreement. "I've been needing this for a very long time."

We headed out and got in her car.

Ironically we were going to hit up the far bar first. I still thought about the night I had first hung out with Andy and how he had defended me, knocking Ace on his ass.

I wondered how different things would have turned out if I actually ended up going back to his place with him that night. I was so thankful that he had seen something different in me than any other girl. I was thankful that he chose me. I still knew deep down that he could have most likely had anyone that he wanted.

*We pulled up in the parking lot blasting some old school Eminem. Ellie and I knew every single word to every single song. We used to do this when we were in high school and first started drinking when her parents would go away on business trips. We'd find people to get us alcohol and just stay up all night drinking and listening to Eminem. We'd dress up, and take stupid pictures. We'd run rampant around her neighborhood. We were two crazy 15 year olds. But only when we were together. No one ever knew how crazy we got. On the outside we looked and acted totally different. Mature and responsible.

Ellie turned off the car and we got out. That's when I noticed her, for the first time pull a pack of cigs out of her purse and light one up.

"You smoke!?" She laughed at me. "Yeah, college is stressful... My life is stressful...." She leaned up against her car and I followed holding my hand out to her."

She furrowed her eyebrows at me. "You quit?"

She obliged and I put it in between my lips. "I did when I was pregnant and then I breastfed Maddox for about a year and didn't touch a single one since. But it's not gonna hurt anything if I smoke a few tonight. Besides I like to smoke and drink. Andy still smokes one every now and then and I'm sure he smokes more on tour than he try's to lead me to believe."

I coughed a little bit inhaling. Ellie chuckled at me. Wow, after almost 4 years of not smoking, this was wicked. It made me lightheaded and seemed to increase the remnants of my lingering high.

After we finished off a cig we headed in hand in hand.

The place hadn't really changed in all the years since I had last been here. It brought a bunch of memories rushing back though and my heart started to race a bit.

My hand itched to pull my phone out of my pocket but I didn't do it. It hadn't vibrated at all today, even after I had sent Andy that pic. Andy was busy. You would think I'd be used to him being gone for such long periods of time but I didn't think that I would ever 'get used' to it. I loved that man so much and when I wasn't with him I didn't feel completely whole.

I sat next to Ellie at the bar and ordered two coke and rums for myself.

"Yeah girl... We gonna get white girl wasted tonight." The bartender cracked a grin at the both of us. I was half expecting it to be Vic, but it wasn't. After four years... He had probably moved on to better things.

"Here you go darlin." The blonde haired blue eyed bartender said, passing me my drinks and then he turned to Ellie. "And for you my dear?" Ellie batted her eyelashes at him and I rolled my eyes bringing one of my glasses up to my lips.

I finished off both glasses pretty quickly, surprising myself. It had been so long since I had, had alcohol in this way.

Ellie and I were chatting and giggling with each other and just reminiscing. We were starting to really feel it. We could always tell with each other.

"Ladies." The bartender got our attention.

"Yes my good sir." Ellie said in the most serious voice she could before we both started laughing. The bartender laughed at us in response and then pushed two glasses in front of us. It was another of what we both had been drinking.

"Compliments of the gentlemen at the end of the bar."

Both of our heads turned at the exact same moment to look.

Two very handsome tattooed guys waved at us, grinning invitingly. The one reminded me painfully of Andy and I grabbed the drink from the bartender and began to immediately chug it down.

He had his black hair swooped to the side and a single earring in his left ear. A nose piercing and what looked like a leather vest over a band t. At that moment I felt my heart flip flop and I cursed under my breath. I wasn't going to cry. No way in hell, I was having a good night out with my long lost best friend.

"Bella..." Ellie startled me by whispering into my ear and I flinched away for a moment.

"Wow you ok?" She asked.

I nodded quickly, calling over the bartender and ordering another.

"Look at them, they're still staring. What would it hurt it we went over there and talked to them. Just talked, maybe danced. You would never cheat on Andy and we need to have fun. What could one small little harmless dance hurt?" The bartender immediately returned with my drink, giving me a little wink.

Was she right? I was starting to feel really drunk now and I could probably get away with dancing and not feeling stupid now.

I looked back down at the two, still staring at us, talking amongst themselves. I sighed standing, picking up my drink. Ellie followed right behind me and we slowly walked down to the two of them.

"Hey." I greeted the Andy looking one in particular. He let go of his glass and held his hand out to me. "Hey." I took his in mine and we shook. I damn near lost my s**t when I saw that he had blue eyes too. "Come on." I yanked him up, ignoring the hollow feeling in my stomach and started to lead him to the dance floor. He quickly followed.

I looked back over my shoulder to see Ellie do the same with the other one.

"So what's your name?" He had matched my speed and I felt his mouth at my ear. My whole body shivered and I swallowed hard.

"Bella..."

We reached the middle of the dance floor and he turned me around, pulling me gently up against him and putting his hand on my hip.

"Nice to meet you Bella, I'm Anthony." Again I almost lost my s**t. ANTHONY. For God sakes I was gonna lose my mind...

He placed his other hand on the hollow of my back and began to move to the beat of the song. I followed his lead, looking around his arm at Ellie... Who was already kissing the other guy! There was no way she was with Emmett. She would never cheat on him...

That wasn't like her at all.

And I wasn't a cheater either, I needed to make sure this dance didn't get anymore personal.

But then Anthony put his chin on my shoulder and I could feel his lips close to my neck. His hot breath tickled my neck and sent shivers up my spine.

Shit.shit.shit... It was turning me on...

"Don't..." I whispered into his ear.

"Don't what?" He chuckled, as deeply as Andy did. I whimpered hearing it, suddenly missing him more and then Anthony's lips landed on my neck and he began to suck on my skin.

My head fell back and my mouth hung wide open at the sheer pleasure I felt. He was way too gentle but it still felt good.

I hadn't felt anything like this since Andy had left on tour and my body was craving it. It was craving to be touched.... It was always worse when I was drunk.

I felt his teeth bite me gently and then continue to suck on my skin. Again I whimpered. "Andy...." His name left my lips and I couldn't stop it.

Anthony chuckled, pausing for a moment. "No, Anthony honey." And then he brought his mouth to my skin again.

"So, this is how I find you while our son is sleeping at your moms house, me thinking I could surprise you and get you all to myself tonight."

His voice was right beside me, shocking me out of my drunken, turned on stupor and my eyes shot open to see Andy standing next to us, painfully good looking, wearing his leather jacket like always, black skinny jeans and his hair slicked back.

Anthony stopped immediately and let me go, backing away from the both of us now.

"I-I'm sorry man, I didn't know she wasn't single, I wouldn't have tried anything if I knew."

I watched Andy with terrified eyes as a suddenly amused expression crossed his face when he looked over at Anthony.

"No, that's ok. You're not the one at fault here."

He turned back to look at me his expression hardening and I saw his eyes glance at my neck for a brief moment before glaring into my eyes.

"Andrew!?" Ellie's voice broke through the silent tension between Andy and I. "What are you doing back so soon!?"

I could feel her beside me but I couldn't look away from Andy and he didn't look away from me. My body began to tremble, badly. I couldn't speak.

"I've come back to take my fiancé home. I'm sorry Ellie but she has to leave now."