Starting His Engine

Chapter 1 “Your dad is looking for you.” Caleb Youngblood groaned, wiped the sleep from his eyes, and sat up as Sebastian handed Caleb’s phone to read the text. Caleb kicked the sheet that covered his lower torso and eyed his cell. How long had they napped? The late afternoon Florida sun intruded into Sebastian’s bedroom as Caleb read the words his sister, Joan, texted him. Dad wanted to know where you were. Are you ever going to talk to him? “Are you going to call him this time?” asked Sebastian, who stretched out, and angled his body to face Caleb. Caleb sighed. “I’m not ready.” “I don’t know your family at all, but this issue has been bothering you. Wouldn’t it be easier if you talked it out with your father?” “Lately it’s a one-sided conversation, so what’s the point?” Caleb bit his lip, realizing his question was not only rhetorical but also sounded abrupt. Caleb knew that the blow-up with his father a few days ago would eventually simmer down, and then they could talk again, but he wasn’t ready to make the call. It was abundantly clear that Caleb’s older brother, Garrison, was the favorite son. Until their argument, Caleb had thought he had a future as a NASCAR driver, too. “I don’t know. I think I’ll talk to Joan first. If there isn’t a future in this family racing, then what’s the point?” “I don’t want to sound like I’m repeating myself, but you should call him and talk. Not talking about it and avoiding him won’t get you anywhere.” Sebastian sat up in bed now, and half-smiled. “What about Garrison?” “You mean talk to him? Nah. Garrison is like my dad. Not good at talking about things. And my relationship with him since Mom died, well, it hasn’t been the same.” Caleb paused before he spoke again, his voice barely a whisper. “So, I’m not calling my father right now, but you’re right. It has been bothering me a lot. I feel like my life is going in a different direction and I don’t have control of it.” “I’m sorry.” Caleb studied Sebastian. “Nothing for you to be sorry about, Sebastian.” Caleb moved closer and with his finger tapped Sebastian’s nose. “And nothing for you to worry about. Sorry if I just snapped just then.” “I know what it’s like to be in a bad family situation. When my parents got a divorce a few years ago, my sister and I barely spoke to our parents for a long time. We’re just now getting back to some normalcy.” Caleb thought about Sebastian’s comments. “A lot of this stuff has been brewing a while. It makes me second-guess myself more. Like should I have finished college? Should I have come back?” Sebastian smiled. “It’s not too late. You can finish up and go on to medical school.” “I don’t know. I think UCF will require me to take some classes over since I broke catalog.” “What does that mean?” “It’s been over three years. I may have to take biology and chemistry again.” “Come on. You’re pretty smart. It’ll be no big deal.” Caleb bent down and kissed Sebastian, who accepted the intrusion of Caleb’s tongue without delay. Sebastian placed his hand on Caleb’s bare chest. “You don’t think at twenty-six I’m too old to go back to school?” “You can do it.” “Ha. I think you’re just a little biased.” Caleb winked at Sebastian. “Being my boyfriend and all.” Sebastian laughed. “Not biased at all.” Sebastian put his head on Caleb’s chest “Does it feel weird for you to call me that?” “What?” asked Caleb. “The word ‘boyfriend’?” Caleb shook his head. “No. Why would you say that?” “Because when we met, I figured I’d never have a shot with you. You acted so indifferently.” “I had a hard time keeping in all my emotions when we met. It’s not often I get a very cute television cameraman who freelances sports writing wanting to talk to me for an interview.” “You’re being very sarcastic,” said Sebastian. Caleb rubbed Sebastian’s back as he spoke. “You know I have a hard time talking about things that aren’t about sports, NASCAR, and surfing.” “So if we didn’t have a mutual interest in sports, swimming, surfing, then I probably didn’t have a chance?” “I’m not saying that. But it’s easier, right?” Sebastian remained silent for a moment. “We have to thank our mutual friends who suggested meeting,” said Sebastian. He leaned in and kissed Caleb. “I mean who wouldn’t fall in love with the most beautiful-looking guy in all of Volusia County?” Caleb laughed. “The county? That’s a bit much.” “I am a little biased because I love you.” Caleb flushed, not used to hearing the word love—at least not from another man. He sat in bed for a few minutes as he collected his thoughts. Sebastian had asked him twice in the last few days to move in with him since Caleb’s lease was coming up for renewal. Moving in with Sebastian meant a lot of things. It would mean moving from Ormond Beach back to New Smyrna where he was born and raised. It would mean being closer to his dad, Garrison, and Joan. It would mean running into old high school friends and people knowing he was living with a man. It would mean being out. “I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to say it back,” Sebastian whispered and brought Caleb out of his thoughts. Caleb shook his head. “Why would you say that?” He gazed at Sebastian who studied him. “I care very deeply about you—’’ “Let’s stop talking about it,” interrupted Sebastian, who squirmed in the bed. “You’re still upset about the fight with your dad so let’s not.” “Let’s not what?” “Shhh.” Sebastian moved the blankets off the bed, rolled over, and faced the wall revealing his naked backside. Caleb’s d**k hardened as he gazed at the form that Sebastian Rush presented to him. Like a gift waiting to be opened. “Changing the subject?” He waited for Sebastian to respond but Sebastian didn’t say anything. He felt comfortable with Sebastian. He knew he had to make a decision soon about renewing his lease or moving in with him. He did love Sebastian. Sebastian complemented Caleb. While Caleb tended to be a hothead, Sebastian approached things calmly. When Caleb railed about his father, Sebastian kept pushing him to make things right. When Caleb had doubts about coming out, Sebastian reminded him that life would be simpler by being honest. Everyone in his family knew Caleb was gay. By the time he’d come out to his parents in his early teens, no one was shocked. But his parents had made him promise not to tell anyone in the business that he was gay. He had a hard time at seventeen when he started racing for the family: he had wanted to come out back then. When his mom pushed him to go to school and follow his other dream of becoming a doctor, he jumped at the offer of his parents paying for the tuition. At nineteen, he left New Smyrna for UCF, on the east side of Orlando. He sowed his oats and partied. No one knew him in O-town, and he had loved it. He continued to stay in Orlando, going to school and working off and on in sports marketing for the Orlando Magic, but had returned home in his early twenties when his mom was diagnosed with cancer. His family needed him; they needed him to help win races, help out in the business. And the only way he could do that was to keep a low profile. At least that’s what he thought his dad wanted. If he had to scratch an itch, he drove to Orlando or Miami. That way no one in NASCAR knew, except for a handful of very close family friends, that he was gay. But moving in at the age of twenty-six with another man? Was he willing to pay the price of people finding out he was living with Sebastian, who was out? Caleb traced his hand over the midline of Sebastian’s back and felt him shudder. “Cold?” “A little. You cranked the air conditioner down to seventy.” “Yeah, it was blazing hot outside. It’s frigging June but feels like August with all this humidity already.” He traced Sebastian’s shoulders with a finger. “But I’ll warm you up.” Caleb grabbed Sebastian’s ass cheek and squeezed. Caleb loved how they fit together. Sebastian, at five feet eleven inches, stood an inch shorter than Caleb but when they spooned, it was a perfect match. Everything they did together flowed easily. Swimming? Sebastian was a statewide medalist freestyler. Surfing? Caleb and Sebastian would spend some early morning hours catching waves. Tennis? Sebastian’s base line game contrasted with Caleb’s serve and volley style. The only thing they didn’t do together was hang out with Caleb’s high school friends and that was because Caleb’s friends—who didn’t know—would question Caleb and Sebastian’s closeness. And if they did that, the gossip in New Smyrna would travel quickly and then spread to NASCAR. Caleb returned his attention to Sebastian, rubbing his back. “God, that feels so good,” moaned Sebastian. Caleb snuggled closer to Sebastian so that his c**k and balls nestled against Sebastian’s crack. Sebastian moaned again as Caleb rubbed his p***s back and forth over Sebastian’s butt. Caleb took his free hand and finger-combed some of Sebastian’s brown wavy hair off Sebastian’s ear and stuck his tongue inside. “Oh,” Sebastian grunted as he ground his ass on Caleb’s d**k. “Do we even have time? I thought you had a marketing meeting to go to.” “We can make time. So what if I’m late to a race media event? Joan’s going, and she’s extremely capable of repping us in the meeting, so what’s the rush?” I won’t be missed. It’s just a gathering of pre-race media events to kick off the 400. Sebastian turned to face Caleb, exchanging his buttocks for his hand as he stroked Caleb’s engorged member. Sebastian moved his face closer, and they kissed tenderly, making sure their lips touched softly, and their tongues darted slowly as if time was on their side forever. Caleb broke off the kissing several minutes later. “If I never return to racing, I can be out, you know. No more hiding. I feel like I’m always worried who sees me, us, you know, when we’re out eating, or whatever. When we were in the grocery store the other day, I felt people were staring at us.” “People were staring at you because you’re a local celebrity here. Catholic school swimmer and tennis jock, youngest son of a NASCAR racing family, and hot to boot.” “Whatever. I’m not Vince Carter. That’s a celebrity around here. Stop stroking my ego and throwing back some of that interview you did on me. I’m serious. If my racing career is done, I can move in with you like you’ve asked. We can spend more time together, plan things we’ll do together, rather than trying to coordinate my schedule, me being on the road and all that.” “But racing’s in your blood. Can you give up Darlington? Talladega? Daytona?” Caleb closed his eyes and brushed their noses together. “Daytona’s home. I have so many memories of races there. The sound of the engines bouncing off the stands. The smell of the rubber. I remember my first time there like it was yesterday, when Mom and I sat in the grandstands on the backstretch before they took out all the seats out, and I watched Dale Jarrett keep Dale Earnhardt from winning the Daytona 500. I was probably five or six. Will I miss racing? Yes. Definitely. But Earl’s made it clear, there isn’t room for me. At least not for the 400 race or any big race. And frankly, if I’m not racing in a big race, there’s no joy in it. My mom was right; I need to get away from racing, go to school.” “Did she talk you out of racing?” “Yes. My mom wanted me to go and finish school. And I probably would have.” “I hear a ‘but’ there?” “But my mom got sick, and I felt I should be with the family. My family needed me to be closer to home. I tried commuting to Orlando and back my last semester, but it was too tough. I couldn’t concentrate. And Dad seemed happy that I was home, closer to Mom and back to racing. At least I thought he was happy with me racing.” “You can race for someone else. Right? If you want, that is…” Sebastian took his hand off Caleb’s c**k. “Maybe, but who’s going to take a chance? All the other racing teams have veterans. Plus taking me in—well, that’s going to be a problem that some of them don’t want because of Earl.” “Formula One? Could you do that?” asked Sebastian. “I could. I’ve never raced Formula One. Some drivers have switched but I may have to go to Europe to do that. That’s where the money is for Formula One. That’s where the Grand Prix is. Mad sprint to the finish line, no bumping. It’s all finesse and your engineer and racecar are pitted against others based only on speed. And engineering.” Sebastian sighed. “And if you went to Europe, I wouldn’t be able to go.” “You can find a job with a magazine in Europe. You’ve got experience in the studio as a cameraman. We could make it work. Fly back and forth.” Caleb waited, hoping Sebastian would respond quickly but Sebastian’s silence worried Caleb. Finally, Sebastian spoke. “I don’t think there’s any magazine that would take me. My experience is in freelance sports journalism. American sports, not European. I don’t follow soccer or anything that they love over there. Plus, I like working for the local TV station here. They have a nice 401(K) plan.” Caleb snorted. “Who’s being sarcastic now?” He paused before he added. “Yeah, we’re talking about all this like it’s easy but all factors point to me staying here. You’re here.” Caleb’s thumb moved lightly under Sebastian’s left eye. Sebastian smiled; Caleb wanted to stop talking about driving for a moment. He had the most beautiful man right here in bed with him. “I love how your blue eyes are this light robin’s egg color that seems darker around its edges.” “Thanks. I love your eyes, too. They’re this light brown with copper flecks. You’ve got this perfect nose and beautiful smile. I told you on our first date that you could be a model.” “Stop it.” “No seriously,” said Sebastian. “Yeah, that’ll go over well. I would never hear the end of it from other NASCAR racing teams. They’re pretty relentless. I can hear the jokes and fake catcalls now.” “Who gives a s**t about them?” “Right now, I do. At least if I want to continue racing. But my whole world changes if I walk away from it. And maybe I’ll be happier. But look at you—you have these cute freckles that spread evenly across your nose. I love them. It makes you so cute.” Caleb then grabbed Sebastian’s hair and lightly bent Sebastian’s head back. “I love your hair.” Caleb kissed Sebastian’s nape, licking at a spot then biting it. “I love how you smell. Any you know what Sebastian Rush? I love you.” Sebastian relaxed in Caleb’s embrace and blurted again. “I love you.” He paused before he added. “Wow. You said it.” “Sebastian, I don’t have a problem saying it. I thought it was just a given how I feel about you.” Sebastian sighed. “But hearing it…it means a lot.” “You’ll hear it more often from me. I promise. I’m sorry I’m not the best talking about love and emotional stuff that goes along with it. I want to be with you. I want to make what we have work. I’ll talk to my father and air it out. And I do want you to meet him. He probably already suspects about you, if Joan hasn’t already told him. I mean, after all, it’s been six months since you did that write-up on me in the local Volusia magazine.” “Promise me that if you do come out publicly, you’ll let me contact a good magazine that will do justice to your story?” “You mean, you don’t want to write it?” asked Caleb. Sebastian smiled. “I think I’m way too biased now. It’d be more of a glowing s****l report card if I wrote anything about you.” Caleb grabbed Sebastian’s hand and placed it back on Caleb’s d**k. Sebastian jerked Caleb’s c**k, being careful to use his thumb to rub underneath Caleb’s d**k where the foreskin tightened. Caleb watched as Sebastian licked Caleb’s n*****s, as Sebastian rubbed his hand over Caleb’s lightly dusted chest hair in the process. Caleb’s breathing became more pronounced as Sebastian’s face inched down. Caleb closed his eyes and waited in anticipation after he felt Sebastian’s breath over his balls and when he felt the familiar flicker of Sebastian’s tongue over his p***s, he knew that nothing on heaven and earth would separate him from Sebastian. Nothing.