The Beta's curse (#1 of the Spike pack)

hiding

Lana’s P.O.V.

It was 1.30h in the morning already. The bar had just closed, and Billy and I were counting our tips of the night. It had been a good night, like most nights at the weekend. But still, I felt annoyed and angry right now, as my thoughts went back to a few hours earlier.

Why didn’t I stop that cute guy?

Why didn’t I just give him my number?

Why didn’t I run after him, when he had left so suddenly?

“Lana, you’re good for tonight, love. Go home now.” Billy told me with a smile, as he gave me my share of the tips, which I folded and placed inside the pocket of my jeans.

“Thanks Billy. See you tomorrow.” I smiled at him, while I took my jacket from the back of the bar.

“You know, that guy really likes you.” He spoke, and I could feel my cheeks turning pink at his words.

“I think I blew my chance on that one.” I admitted as I frowned, thinking about how costumers had been asking for my attention constantly, while all I wanted to do was talk to him some more.

“ Trust me, he’ll be back in a couple of days.” Billy laughed, to which I nodded and left the bar. Hoping that he was talking the truth.

It was dark outside, and the cold hit me hard, as I closed my jacket and stuffed my hands as deep into my pockets as I could.

Thank God I don’t have to go too far.

I looked onto the street, and as far as a lighting pole standing every few feet apart, the street was completely empty and silent. So, since there were no cars on the street, I immediately crossed the road, while I pulled out my keys and opened the door that was situated next to the small pharmacy. Once I had opened the door, I quickly went inside and up the stairs, as they took me to my tiny condo, which was situated right above the pharmacy.

My own little hideaway.

Because yes, I was indeed hiding.

I had ran and ran, to which I had ended up inside this small and God forsaken place, a place that I now slowly started to call home. At least for a little while, until I would need to run again. I had lived my whole life in a big city. I used to be a professional dancer, and was actually quite good at it as well. I knew all about the rich and famous in Hollywood. I had danced behind or next to a lot of them during shows and performances. And for the most part, I had loved my life and living in the city. But that had all stopped once I had met Robert. That had all stopped, once I had fallen in love with him.

Of course, when starting our relationship, Robert was all about romance and flowers. I would never have fallen for him, if he would have just been an asshole from the start. None of them were, the relationship would always start out perfectly. And with us, the beginning of our relationship was nothing but great. But then, things slowly started to change. He didn’t want me to go to dance classes anymore, claiming that other men would be staring at me.

yeah sure, about 80% of the males that dance are gay

but whatever?

Next, he wanted me to change my clothes, claiming that they were too revealing. He didn’t want me to meet up with any of my friends, because they all hated him and wanted to tear us apart. He didn’t want me to call my mother, because she hated him. Arguments came more frequently and became harder and harder. Until the night when he had slapped me for the first time across the face. And what made it even worse, was that, afterwards, he made me believe that it was my fault that it had even happened.

If I would have just listened and behaved, none of this would have happened.

If I could just keep him happy, he was sweet and nice to me. I had turned him into a monster...

And sure enough, the next day, he would be all nice and sweet again. Apologize or even cry for being such an asshole to me. He would tell me how he loved me and how he would never ever do it again. And it would last for as long as I did what he wanted me to do. The second I did something for myself, or something that wasn’t the same way he had wanted it to go, was the second that he would snap again.

Did I want to run away from the abusive relationship? Of course I did! I just didn’t dare to do it. Robert was a possessive man. He saw me as his property, his ‘man purse’ that he needed to take everywhere he went. I was a trophy girlfriend. I just needed to stand there and be pretty. But what made it even scarier, was the fact that Robert had a whole network built up around him. His very own father was the big boss of it, and the longer I was trapped inside Robert’s prison, the more I started to suspect that Robert and his father were both part of the mafia, or some other criminal group. All I knew was, whatever I would do, or wherever I would go, Robert would have eyes and ears on me, and there was no way for me to escape him. They had men inside the police, the medical field, the legal and criminal system. You name it, they had it. And they used them all very well.

The night everything had changed for me was the night that Robert and I got into a big fight again while he had come home drunk, and I had ended up in the hospital. Once, the nurse had asked me what had happened to me, and I had simply told her that I had been clumsy and I had slipped and fell. She had looked at me in such a way I wanted to sink into the floor. This woman felt sorry for me, and I had honestly never felt so ashamed in my life. When the nurse had told me that I needed to call the police, I had simply started to cry.

I couldn’t call the police

My boyfriend owned the f*****g police!

And once Robert had stormed inside the emergency room shortly after, demanding to see me, while his breath was still covered in alcohol, the nurse had all the answers that she needed. She had security escort Robert out of the emergency room. And when I had started to cry even harder, knowing that once he would be able to get to me, he would make me pay for this, the nurse had stepped up to me.

“Sweetheart, you tell me right now. Do you want to keep living this life, or do you want to get out?” I had looked up at her, shocked.

“I can’t get out of this life, I am trapped. He holds me as a prisoner, he will never let me go.” But the nurse had shook her head at me, while she had gently stroked my hair in a comforting way.

“You are never trapped, dear. I can give you a way out right now, but you have to want it yourself. If you leave and you change your mind and come back. You will end up in the hospital again, and the next time you are here, it won’t be just for bruises and scrapes. Do you understand what I am telling you? I know an abusive man when I see one, and that boyfriend of yours is an animal. You deserve better than him.” I had swallowed and looked up at her.

“Where do I go? What do I do? I don’t have any of my belongings here.” I had cried, to which the nurse had shushed me, while she placed her hands into her pants pockets of the scrubs that she was wearing.

“Here,” She spoke softly, as she gave me some money, a few 20 dollar bills and one 50 dollar bill.

“It’s not much, but it will get you out of here. My best advice for you is to throw out your cell phone, don’t use any ATM’s, don’t use the internet and don’t end up on the news. The bus station is two blocks down from here. Take the bus as far as my money can take you, and start fresh. You deserve to have a good life, dear. Nobody deserves to get beaten up every few days.” I had just looked at the nurse, my mouth wide open.

Why was she helping me?

Didn’t she know that by doing this?

Was she putting herself in danger as well?

“Why? Why are you helping me?” I asked her, while a sob left my throat. And she just gave me a sad smile.

“Because, my dear, I once was you. And I got offered the chance of a new start, and I took it with both hands. Let me be that fresh start for you.” She smiled at me, and I nodded.

I could do this.

No

I would do this.

“Take my coat, and hurry up. Take the first bus that comes. Don’t wait too long by the bus station before he finds you there.” She spoke at me, before she had looked into the hallway and pulled me out of the examination room, before she took me to the nurse’s entrance. I put on the jacket and pulled the hood over my head.

“Thank you.” I cried out to the nurse, who gave me a hug before she leaned back to look at me.

“Now go, sweetheart.” She smiled at me.

“Go, and don’t let him ever find you.” And with one final nod, I ran out of the hospital, straight towards the bus station. Where I bought a ticket on the first bus that brought me to the next state. At the last bus stop, I bought a new ticket, which took me to another state.

The days inside the bus had been long. I had felt hungry, tired, afraid and mostly alone. I still don’t know how many days had passed, when the bus had suddenly stopped and I had looked out of the window, as the town sign of ‘Redriver’ called out to me, and the bus driver had told us that he was taking a short break. I had stepped out of the bus, hoping to find something to eat around here. And as I had looked around, I spotted an old bar and decided to go and check it out. As I stepped inside, I saw an older couple standing behind the bar, who both smiled, as I walked inside.

“What can I get you on this fine day?” The woman had asked me, to which I had pulled out the last money I had on me.

“What can I get with this?” I had asked her, showing her three dollars and a few cents. The woman had gasped and looked over at me, probably seeing my busted face, which would have probably still been covered in bruises at that point. But her shock had melted away and made room for a smile, as she had placed her hand on mine.

“Come over here, sweetheart. It looks like you have been to hell and back. Come and sit at the bar with us, so I’ll grab you a burger. On the house.” I could have started to cry again right then and there, feeling the love this stranger was sending out to me. I couldn’t deny but see the look she was giving her husband, Billy, who had given me a soda, before he had walked into the kitchen.

“So, what’s your name, dear?” The older woman had asked me.

My name?

Should I even tell her my real name?

This dear old woman seemed nice enough, but what if I would leave again and Robert would come knocking on their door? I couldn’t put these people in danger. Not because of me.

“Lana.” I had told the old woman, who smiled at me.

“Lana, no last name?” She asked me, to which I smiled.

“I understand, dear.” The old woman nodded her head and patted my hand.

“So Lana, what brings you to Redwater? It’s not like this place is a tourist trap.” I had just shrugged.

“I am searching for a place to start over. A fresh start in life. A new life.” I had told her, to which she had hummed.

“You know, my husband and I have had this bar for years. Which means that we are both turning older by the day. My husband is still very fit, but my old bones are starting to crack during the long nights. I even believe we are searching for an extra waitress to help us out. If only we would be able to find someone for that?” She smiled wide at me.

And an hour later, after I had decided to confide in Cynthia, and I had told her everything about me and my real life, and the reason why I had run away from it all, I had found myself a place to work and even to sleep. Billy and his wife, Cynthia, had a small condo across the street from the bar. It had belonged to their son once, but he had moved out and had moved to a bigger city, a few towns over for work. Ever since, the small condo had been sitting empty, just catching dust. And for a very small fee every month, the place could be mine. I could still remember that I had just started to cry, when I had pulled Cynthia into a hug, thanking my lucky stars, that this couple had popped up into my life and had basically trusted a complete stranger. They trusted me.

And now, six months later. This was my life. I had been living in Redwater as Lana. No last name. I was a waitress in a bar which only paid me in cash, and I lived in this tiny condo above the small pharmacy. Without anyone asking me any questions. It wasn’t a grand life, but it was a safe life. And as far as I could tell, I had been a very long time since I had felt this safe and happy. But now, for the first time in what felt like forever, I had felt another emotion. I had felt butterflies in my stomach. And I had been feeling them for quite some time to be honest. Ever since that hunk had walked into the bar with his brown curly hair, blue eyes and hard yaw line. I had just looked at him, and dreamed about him that very same night. I was still too abused and broken to even start to think about another man like that. So that was all that I had done. I had watched him from a distance. Watched him and enjoyed the view.

But sure enough, as time passed. He came back, again and again and again. And tonight, we even talked for a bit. And I couldn’t deny but feel a pull between us. The man was f*****g eye candy, and when he smiled, I had just wanted to walk around the bar and crawl on his lap. But that would probably have just scared him off for good. I sighed deeply, as his face came up into my mind, while I closed the door behind me and walked into my small condo. A small couch with a TV that looked as if it came from the sixties. A small open white kitchen and one door, which went to the bedroom with a small bathroom. Just a shower, a tiny sink and a toilet. It was small, but I had grown to love my tiny hideaway. Although I couldn’t help but think what the sight would look like, with a particular hunk sitting down on my sofa while he would be watching the old TV. I took a quick shower and shortly after checking again if my door was locked, and shortly after, I crawled into bed. Where I fell into a deep sleep and dreamed about dark curls and blue eyes that kept haunting me throughout the night.