“I am so glad you convinced me stopping overnight was a good idea,” Sawyer trailed his hand up Elizabeth’s body from just below her navel up to her ribcage, resting his hand gently on her body just before he reached her breasts. He enjoyed watching the way she had to fight with herself not to respond to him, even when they had only just had s*x. He had always found that particular look exquisite on women, and he was having fun pushing her boundaries now he could see she was finding it less torturous and scary to cope with this. She wasn’t ready for him to do this to her while she desperately needed him, but while she was temporarily satiated like this, he liked teasing her just a little. And if she decided she didn’t want him to frustrate her anymore, he didn’t have to tell her to leave or reject her when she asked him to give her more. It was a game he had played many times before, but the outcome was significantly more enjoyable now.
He decided he wanted to hear her ask for him, because she wouldn’t be like this for much longer, and he didn’t know what their situation would be by the next time. He trailed butterfly kisses across her collarbones and felt that she had goosebumps under his hand on her ribcage, though she was trying hard to disguise the immediacy of her response to him.
“I can smell how wet that made you. You know there’s no point in trying to hide it from me.”
She turned to lie on her side so she was facing him and kissed him almost defiantly,
“I do know that. Just like there’s no point in you trying to hide the fact you’re enjoying being so mean to me. You seem to be forgetting the fact that unlike the other women you have done this to, I know what you are thinking right now.”
“Right. And none of them got to have every single part of me the way you do when I’m done playing around.” He moved his hand from her body. “You keep bringing my past up today. It’s bothering you more than you’re willing to say. Maybe we should talk about why.”
“Don’t you think we have more important things to talk about?”
She was referring to the fact that they still hadn’t spoken about what had happened to her the previous night.
“You don’t seem at all bothered by the fact you transformed. But the thought of me doing what I did to you last night with another woman makes your blood boil. And if I were to remind you that I only refused to sleep with them while they were on heat, and that you are not the only woman who has made me c*m before… I think that would make you far more upset than talking about absolutely anything else.”
“It’s not something I would relish talking about at the best of times.”
“It didn’t used to bother you, though. Not until the night you first came onto heat.”
“It’s probably just my hormones, then. It isn’t a big deal.”
“I don’t think that is it,” he looked at her curiously for a moment before pulling her on top of him, “I think you’re being insecure about it because you’re worried about actually having to meet the people I was with before you.”
She tried to ignore the fact he was hard between her legs, because he was right in his assumption.
“Can you blame me?”
He reached for her breasts, finding it impossible to resist touching her body. She moved her hips a little, trying to get him to stop messing her around and actually have s*x with her. He smiled at her attempt, which was completely futile, and sat up, slipping his hands around to embrace her as he kissed her, She shifted her hips again, but he bit her lower lip gently and he still didn’t relent to her.
“Quit it. I’m not giving you what you want just yet. Not until you talk to me about this. Tell me what it is that bothers you about the fact that you aren’t the only woman that I have ever had in this position.”
“It isn’t the fact you were with them then. It’s because they are going to expect you to be with one of them now.”
“And? Gabrielle expected me to be with her, how did that work out for her?”
“That’s what scares me. Three people died because of her reaction to you turning her down. What are the others going to do? There must have been a couple of them who expected they stood more of a chance with you than the others did – what if they try to hurt me?”
He sighed, took one of her hands in his, and rested it on his chest between them.
“Alright, I’ll be honest with you, because I think it’s important. There were two women I was with more than the others. I wouldn’t call them girlfriends, but that’s probably what they saw themselves as. One of them is mated to a man from another pack now, and the other… she was part of the group who attacked me the last time, and I am fairly sure this scar I have across my heart right here was supposed to be highly symbolic, because she is the one who gave it to me.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
She tried to move her hand, because despite seeing it hundreds of times now she wanted to see the scar that this unknown woman had given him. He clasped her hand, keeping it pressed against his chest. He finally moved beneath her so that he was inside her but he wasn’t quite ready to give her everything she wanted from him.
He kissed her slowly and languidly. It was similar to the way he had been with her the night before; romantic and calmly erotic in a way he never normally allowed himself to be.
“I have never loved anyone but you. The woman who did this,” he pushed her hand a little harder against him and she was conscious of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips, “was not destined to be my mate.” He moved a little faster and she dug her nails into his chest. “If she is still with them now, you can look her dead in the eyes and know that no matter what she expected, and what she assumed, you are the only one who has been with me this way.”
The way he was speaking made her feel possessive of him. She didn’t know that it was another deliberate choice on his part. He was nervous about how the others would respond to her, too, and he was trying as subtly as possible to get her to behave in a way that would make his old pack see she was more suitable for him than any of them. If they got there while she was still on heat so she smelled like a wolf to them, and she acted the way a wolf would around a woman of lower status sniffing around her mate, it would make it a lot easier for him.
He still didn’t know what the hell he was going to do. At the moment he was preoccupied by Elizabeth, and he was more wary of approaching some of his old pack than he would let her know.
Cordelia, the woman who had scarred him, was probably the member he had the biggest trepidation over. She had always held a horrendous grudge, and he was a little apprehensive about how she would react to him showing up with Elizabeth.
But he would never let Elizabeth know that he was worried about seeing these people again.
He brushed her hair away from her face so he could admire the way she looked when she was so completely determined that she would be the one to make him c*m. He was entirely in control of himself - his sister had been right that it wouldn’t be difficult for him when he got used to the idea. He knew that it wasn’t so easy for Elizabeth though, and he couldn’t ignore the fact it was getting increasingly frustrating for her. He resisted the urge to flip her onto her knees and take her from behind, because it seemed to mean something to her to be the one who did the work, and the look of satisfaction on her face when he finally did finish was more than just the relief he was used to seeing while she was like this.
She got dressed almost immediately afterwards, and threw his clothes over to him.
“We’ve been here long enough. I’ve got what I wanted out of this. We should keep moving.”