Chapter 4
When I look back on this day, my behavior doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand why I didn’t fight him harder, why I consented in this twisted way. It wasn’t a rational decision on my part—it wasn’t a conscious choice to cooperate in order to avoid pain.
No, I am acting purely on instinct.
And my instinct is to submit to him.
He puts me down on the bed, and I just lie there. I’m too worn out from our earlier struggle, and I still feel woozy from the drug.
There is something so surreal about what’s happening that my mind can’t process it fully. I feel like I’m watching a play or a movie. It can’t possibly be me in this situation. I can’t be this girl who was drugged and kidnapped, and who is letting her kidnapper touch her, stroke her all over her body.
We’re lying on
