Fated to A Monster

Chapter 11: Asteria

Warning: This book will contain a lot of adult themes. It’s rated 18+ for a reason. If adult themes trigger you in any way, just click away. I also do not do slow burns, and there will be s*x, violence, and abuse. If that’s not something you want to read, then don’t this story is not for you. I hope that some people can enjoy my adult themes, but I will enjoy writing them if not. Toxic relationships, abuse, and violence. - Jane Whispers

Asteria:

I have no words that can describe the pain that I'm feeling. Everything hurts, every inch of my body aches, and my heart and mind are no better. I can't stop thinking about my sister and how she died at the hands of her mate. I feel so lost and just want this life to end. I want to end my life and stop this madness. I haven't had the chance yet to do so. This started when I told Henry that I had taken wolfsbane in the past, hoping that he wouldn't be angry. I was testing him to see how he would react if he found out that I had thought that I couldn't give him an heir. I wanted him to think that the wolfsbane was the reason I was having difficulty carrying his child because I was planning to have my maid give me some form of birth control, and I didn't want him to find out. This was the wrong move. He failed my test and showed me his true colors. He showed me what he was really and true like. He was no longer playing the role of a loving mate. He showed me that he was a monster that I knew he would be. 

He wasn't happy with my confession and placed me under house arrest. He then summoned a doctor who forced me to take medicines to assist me in carrying a child. Then when the doctor took his leave. Henry forced himself on me. He forced me to mate with him. He ripped off my clothes and forced himself inside of me. He mated with me over and over again against my will. I could do nothing to stop him. I couldn't bring myself to react. I just froze and let him take me over and over. My heartache, I can't believe my mate would do this. He forced himself on my trembling body, and he didn't even stop when I fainted. I woke, and he was still inside me. I lost count of how many times he forced himself on me that day and the days since. We haven't shared a word with each other. He just takes me and does whatever he wants. 

No one will help me, all of his servants, to act like it isn't happening. They won't even speak to me, other than to do their cleaning duties and take care of me. The doctors have come every day and feed me that medicine, and then right after, Henry would take me by force. All I would do is scream and cry while he did this, but he didn't care. He never cared how much I would scream, and he would never stop. It hurt so much, and after I couldn't move. The maid would carry me to the bath and help clean me, and she would say nothing as she washed my bruised skin. She would say nothing as she cleaned away the blood between my legs. She would say nothing when she saw the deep claw marks on my back and the bite marks on my breasts and neck. She said nothing when I could stand and walk from the tub. I was so alone in this, and I can't believe I was so alone. 

I can't speak anymore, and I can't eat anymore. All I do is sleep. That is the only time I would get any peace. I would sleep away the days and stay awake during the nights after Henry was done with me, of course. He would hold me in his arms and sleep. I couldn't sleep when he was holding me, so I just lay awake. I would think about others things. I would think of better days, and I would think of my death. I wanted to take my own life, and I can't live like this. I won't live like this. I won't spend my days being forced and abused by a mate who didn't love me. I wasn't sure if I was carrying his child or not, but I would take them with me. I wouldn't allow a child of mine to be raised by him. It had not been enough time to know if I was with child. The child won't even have a heartbeat if I was pregnant. I needed to take my life soon. In few weeks, we would know if all his forced mating worked on not, and then I would never be able to take my own life. Henry had court today, and I heard him say something about it the other day. I knew this would be my chance. When we woke, he forced himself on me again. I did nothing, and I didn't scream or cry. I was tired of screaming, and I was tired of crying. He finished inside a few times before leaving for a shower then dressing for court. He said nothing and took his leave. The maid came in shortly after and helped me to my feet. She had breakfast with her and placed it down on the table by the large window. I didn't touch the food and simply looked out at the streets below. I wished that I was anywhere other than here. I hate myself so much. I should never have gone that night to the ball. I should have stayed home, and he would never have found me. 

"Are you going eat something?" the maid asked. I simply nodded my head. I couldn't eat anything.

"His highness won't be happy. You haven't eaten in two weeks, princess," the maid said. It had been two weeks since this hell began. I had lost track of time. I didn't know that much time had passed. 

"Maybe I should help you take a bath. You might feel like eating after a warm bath, your highness," the maid said, coming to my side. I needed to be alone for my plan to work. It was hard, but I had to voice myself to speak.

"Draw a bath, but I would like to be alone. I haven't been alone in so long," I said, my voice cracking as I spoke. It had been so long, and I didn't even remember what my voice sounded like. Hearing myself speak for the first time made me realize I was no longer the same person anymore. I was no longer the happy girl I once was. I'm dead inside now, and nothing would change that.   

"As you wish, your highness," the maid said, leaving me alone and heading to draw a bath. I stood up as soon as I heard she was in the bathroom. I was so dizzy from the lack of food and pain aching in every part of my body. But I needed to find something, and I need something I could take my life with. I walked to the bed and opened a drawer, and I remember seeing a silver blade somewhere on this bedside table. I found it after some searching and hid it quickly at my hip. I heard the water running in the bathroom and quickly walked back to the table before sitting back down. I didn't want the maid seeing me looking around the room that would not end well. I looked back out the window, watching as people moved around the courtyard. I could see a happy couple holding each other hands, the girl's belly swollen. She was with the child, and they were clearly delighted to have each other. I watched as they shared a kiss and envied them. If only that I could have been that fortunate. I was a princess, turned into a prisoner by her own mate. I had been used and abused by the person who was supposed to love me more than anything in this world. I was nothing now, just some c**k sleeve breeding cow. 

"Princess, your bath is ready," The maid said, her voice breaking me from my thoughts. I stood up on my own and rushed to the bathroom. The maid was following behind me, but I was having none of that. I turned as I came to the door, and she looked like she was going to say something. I wasn't giving her a chance. 

"Don't bother me, or I will whip you to death," I said, closing the door in her face and locked it. The bathwater looked inviting, and I quickly stripped off my nightgown and underthings. I placed the blade by the tub, turned to the mirror, and looked at my hagged appearance. I have been covered in bruises and bites marks thanks to my mate. He would bite down my neck and breast when he would c*m inside of me. He would leave bruises behind when he held me too tightly. And when he forced my legs apart and held them apart for hours. I didn't want to think about it anymore, and it would all be over soon. 

I climbed into the bathwater and washed. I didn't want that assholes scent on my body when they laid me to rest. I wanted to be clean when I died. I took my time and enjoyed my last few moments alive. After I died, I would go to my father's kingdom in hell. I would be a demon princess, and I would be free from my mate. I relaxed the water, took the blade in my hands, and I held the blade to my right wrist. I took a deep breath and cut into my arm, cutting from my wrist to my elbow. It didn't hurt. I was numb at this moment. I turned to my other arm and did the same, resting back and allowing the blood to flow from my wrist. I thought about my family. I knew they would miss me, but I wasn't going to see them again. My mate would never let that happen, not after he forced himself on me. The blood flowed quickly from my wrist, turning the bathwater red. I could see the life draining from me, and I could feel it too. I closed my eyes and thought of seeing the world. I thought of all the wonderful places that I would never see now. I thought of all the things I would never learn, and I felt the tears start to fall. I can't believe this is my fate. I would die here in this tub, never knowing the world. I hope that I would get another life. One day, I would have a better life than this. I must remember my dreams, and I must hold on to them. They were I would have. I could feel the darkness taken over. I could hear my father's voice. He was calling me home. I could feel myself being pulled by that voice. 

"Daddy," I called out in my mind. His voice drew closer, and I drew closer. 

"My child, my poor child," my father's voice said, over and over again. 

"I missed you, father," I said, waiting for the darkness to lift and my eyes to open. I knew when it happened, and I would find myself in hell with my father. 

"I missed you too, my poor child, but it isn't time for you to join me yet," my father said. His words broke my heart, and I was ready to join him. I couldn't stay here, and I wouldn't stay here. 

"I can't stay here father, please let me come home," I said. 

"No, my child, you have so many things to do. I can't have you home yet. I know you are in pain, my child, and so I will give you a gift. I will unlock the power inside of you that was your birthright," my father said. 

"My birthright?" I asked, but his voice was gone.