The Colony Boxed Set 2 - Books 4-6

Chapter 5

5

CJ, The Colony, Base 3, Transport Room

“What do you mean, exactly? You can’t have s*x at all? You can’t get it up?” I asked. This guy didn’t look like he had any kind of problems, in any department, especially when it came to s*x. And one look at that particular area of his body and—trouble. He was big. Everywhere.

One look at him and my panties would have been ruined—if I were wearing any. He was gorgeous. Huge. Like giant huge. I’d never met anyone so big before. I wasn’t small. Not at all and he was a good foot taller than me. I couldn’t remember the last time I had to tilt my head up to look at someone. Maybe just before I turned fourteen and hit that one big growth spurt. But that had been over ten years ago.

“Can’t get it up?” he asked.

“The big, bad beastly c**k. That’s what you’re talking about? It doesn’t work?”

Anger flared in his eyes, but I wasn’t scared of him despite the ridiculous number of weapons strapped to his body, or the odd platinum and gray manacles hanging from his waist. The silver hue stirred a memory, but I didn’t have time to return to dreamland right now. I had no idea why I wasn’t intimidated in the least. If he were to walk down the streets in New York, people would clear the sidewalk for him.

The left side of his neck and lower jaw looked oddly silver, but honestly, it just looked like he’d smeared Halloween makeup on his skin. I didn’t know what else might be odd about him, but he was beautiful. Big. And his eyes were a deep, haunted green. So much pain behind them it felt like a gut punch every time he met my gaze. I didn’t let him see that I knew, of course. But just arguing with him, I knew I’d never forget him. If I let him walk away now, he’d haunt me. Forever.

So why should I let him give me away? He’d said he was my mate, the one I’d been matched to. Therefore, he wouldn’t hurt me. Sure, I could believe the computers, but just looking at him, I knew. It was in his eyes, in the way he looked at me. There was something there, something hurting and lonely and broken. Something I desperately wanted to fix. It was instinct. Pure and simple. He was mine. That’s what I knew. Deep down. Beyond words or logic or reason. I realized this might be the single most important fight of my life. No way was I walking away.

He was mad, but not at me. He was mad at himself, at his body, which seemed to have recently betrayed him.

“I can get it up, as you call it, but I have no interest in claiming a mate.”

“No interest?” I felt my brows go up. He claimed he wasn’t interested, but his gaze dropped to my breasts and lingered. I stood straighter, shoving the triple D cups up on display. I ran my hand down my side, to my waist to see if he tracked the movement. He totally did. Not interested? Liar, liar, pants on fire. “You might have low T.”

His dark brows went up, and I studied him. From the dark hair that was slightly shaggy—and very silky looking—to his broad shoulders, the form-fitting black uniform did nothing to hide his brawny physique. I glanced lower, to the front of his pants and realized perhaps that wasn’t the case. I made sure to hold my gaze there, on the piece of anatomy currently under discussion, and remembered the dream. The huge c**k. The grumbling voice of the beast. I made sure he noticed my attention. “Yeah, no. I think you’ve got plenty of testosterone.”

“Female. You are on dangerous ground.”

“Apparently not.” I pointed at him, circled my finger. “Your beast, in there somewhere, has no interest in me?”

He pursed his lips, glanced over my shoulder, not wanting to meet my eyes. “My beast has been subdued. Perhaps even killed.”

My mouth fell open. “I don’t understand. Did you have something amputated? Or do you have something dead and rotting inside you? Do you need surgery?”

He stepped closer, his body heat radiating like a warm blanket. He grabbed my hand, placed it flat against his chest. His very hard, very warm chest. I could feel the beat of his heart, the inhalations of his breathing.

“No. He is not dead.”

I had a feeling he was saying that more for himself than for me. “Then what?”

“The doctors do not know. They have not identified what has happened to me. This is a first; the first time an Atlan has ever had his beast stolen from him. The Hive did something to me, down in those caves. They weakened him so that he can’t come to the surface. He is caged. He cannot escape.”

“So…you want your beast to come out? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“It can be, if I were to go into a rage or mating fever, but for now, I’d do anything to rage. To be able to fight again. I am worthless here. A forgotten relic of the war. I can’t fight like this. I can’t defend my people. The war rages on, and those of us contaminated by the Hive are banished and forgotten, like broken things tossed in the garbage.”

He didn’t want a mate, he wanted to go back to war. To fighting and killing. “So you need the beast to come out so you can fight?”

He nodded, a dark curl falling over his strong forehead. “I cannot hunt. I cannot protect a mate or my security team. I am weak.”

“How does it normally happen?” I wondered. “When does your beast come out?”

“Several things trigger an Atlan to become his beast. The fever. Anger, especially during battle. Anger at anyone who is harming someone else, specifically my mate. Any threat to the people under my protection, and the beast rises to fight.”

“You sound like the Hulk now,” I mused, but he ignored my outburst and continued staring at me. “You said something about a fever?”

“Mating fever can summon the beast as well.”

“Fever? Taking a mate makes you sick?” That didn’t sound promising. No wonder he wanted to give me away.

“When it is time to take a mate, the beast takes control and becomes unmanageable without a mate. A beast in mating fever, with no mate to ease him, means death for an Atlan.”

“What? You actually die from this fever?” God, no. That sounded horrible. What kind of backward place had Warden Egara sent me to?

He paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “Without a mate, our beasts are beyond our ability to control. They become destructive. Dangerous. Unmated males in that state are executed.”

“What?” He did not just say what I—

“And arousal. Arousal will awaken the beast.” He listed all of those items like ticking off checkboxes. Anger. Fever. Arousal. The last bothered me.

“Arousal. You mean attraction to a female can summon your beast? Even if you’re not in mating fever?”

He nodded once. “Yes. Although our beasts’ response is strongest for a mate.”

“That’s me,” I said. For once in this whole process, I felt unsure. Less than adequate. If I really was perfect for him, as Warden Egara had promised, he should be reacting to me. Wanting me. Turning into his beast so he could shove me up against the wall and… Umm, yeah. No. Don’t finish that thought, CJ. Down that road is trouble.

I bit my lip and stared up at him. Everything about him made my body feel starved for his touch. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. Taste his lips. Nibble on his skin. Feel his strong arms around me, his body behind me, over me, in me. Him. I wanted him, and I hadn’t been hot for a guy in a long, long time. Maybe never. Not like this.

But him? Nothing. He stared at me like he was trying to break bad news to a little girl. An unattractive child whom he had no interest in. And wasn’t that just a b***h? “So, I guess I don’t arouse you?” Might was well call a spade a spade.

“Ah, Caroline, do not belittle yourself. I am trying to explain this to you. You are beautiful.” He lifted his free hand to my cheek, stroked his fingers through my hair. “I am broken.”

“You’re the one who said a mate should arouse your beast.”

“Exactly,” he countered.

“But I don’t.”

“You don’t, not because I don’t think you’re the most desirable female in the universe, but because the Hive broke me. Don’t you see? I’m broken. I can’t give you what you need.”

“So, you’re saying you’ll never have s*x with me?” I was blunt. I’d always been that way, and I had no intention of stopping now. A missing beast? No problem. I could live without a beast. But a lifetime in a marriage to an alien with no s*x? I felt robbed. He was so big. And alpha. And smoking hot. Muscles everywhere. His muscles had muscles. I finally find a guy who made me feel small and feminine, and he tells me that he won’t touch me? Unacceptable. Seriously. I was going to have words with Warden Egara the next time I saw her.

“I cannot be your mate, Caroline. I am broken.”

Broken record. Sheesh. He was huge. Strong. His entire body was lined with weapons. Guns. Knives. He looked like a seven-foot tall Navy SEAL on steroids. If he couldn’t fight, then monkeys were going to fly out of my— “So as your mate, it is my job to bring about arousal and anger in your beast.”

“It’s not your job.” He ran his hand through his hair, clearly agitated. I seemed to have that affect on males from every planet. “No. It’s just supposed to happen naturally.”

Great. I’d been on this planet five minutes. All I’d seen was the inside of a windowless room and a hulk of a mate. And we were both just standing here feeling like complete and utter failures. I was supposed to be sexy. Desirable. He was supposed to take one look at me and lose his freaking mind, bend me over a table and grab my hips, pull me back…

No. Not going there.

Too late. My p***y was wet. His hands were huge, and I couldn’t stop staring as the matching dream came back to me, playing in my mind over and over like a broken record. I knew what those hands would feel like holding me down. Knew how his c**k would stretch me. The way I’d shatter in his arms. I knew...

He sniffed, as if he could smell my arousal, his eyes going dark. I was ridiculously good at reading men. I’d dealt with them on a daily—no, hourly basis—and except for the small blip where I was arrested for insider trading, I was pretty good at getting my way.

And right now, I wanted what I’d been promised in that testing chair. Hot, hungry s*x with a bossy, dominant male. For real this time. Not just in my head.

This guy, Rezzer, the one I’d been matched to, was truly conflicted. He was pushing me away, not because he wanted to. No, he looked like he wanted me very much. He felt honor-bound to help me find a new mate because he was broken. Very badly. In a way I didn’t understand at all but knew it hurt him deeper than any flesh wound.

“Do you have to transform into this beast to f**k me?” I asked. “Can’t we just…you know.” I held my breath waiting for his answer. I didn’t need a beast. But I did need a man willing to touch me.

His breathing changed, just barely, but I heard it. Saw the way the lines around his mouth tightened. The beast that was supposedly dead or dormant or hurt or subdued or something by the Hive? He was still in there. I knew it. Gut instinct told me he was in there. This perceived weakness was temporary.

The real question was, did I want this guy? Did I want him enough to fight for him, for us? Just a little while ago I’d told Warden Egara I didn’t have to like my mate. I just wanted off of Earth. Well, that was accomplished. I definitely wasn’t on Earth anymore. She’d told me there was no going back. So I’d get a mate. If not this one, another.

But the heart I’d thought too jaded to hope refused to let him go. I couldn’t just let him escort me to the doctor so I could get a “better” mate. Not happening. The testing said he was the one. The. One. I owed it to myself to see if the program was right. Besides, if anyone was going to push his buttons, make him lose his temper and turn into a raging beast? Hell, annoying arrogant men was my specialty.

He was mine. And now that I’d decided to keep him, it was time for a new approach. So, I’d arouse him. Anger him. I could do that. I’d pissed off enough men on Wall Street to know exactly what to do. The goal with guys was to get them to think they had all the ideas when it was your plan all along. Rezzer was the farthest thing possible from a Wall Street executive. I just had to hope that male psychology worked the same here as it did back home.

Remembering Warden Egara’s statement about how dominant and possessive the mates were on the Coalition planets, I realized I could use that to my advantage.

I reached up, undid the button at the top of my one-shouldered dress—I’d take the time to figure out how I ended up in such an outfit another time—and let it slide down my body.

“What are you doing?”

“Testing you.”

Rezzer’s eyes widened and focused on every bit of skin that became exposed. First the top swells of my breasts, then the full orbs themselves with hardened n*****s, then my stomach, wide hips, p***y—when had it been shaved?—and then my long legs.

“It’s so hot in here.” When I spoke, he didn’t look up. Nope, his gaze remained unblinking and centered on my breasts. They were big, like the rest of me.

“I have told you I am unworthy. Why do you taunt me?”

I shrugged, which I knew lifted my breasts. I heard a groan.

I glanced down at his dark pants, saw the outline of his c**k against the fabric. I had to assume that was his natural state, that his erection would be even larger, and my inner walls clenched. Already he was big. What would he be like if he were actually aroused…and as a beast?

“What does it matter? You’re going to take me to the doctor to pick a different mate. Give me to another. A worthy mate. Someone who wants me.”

His green gaze lifted to mine for a quick second, then dropped to my navel, then lowered still. I refused to squirm.

“Tell the doctor that my n*****s are very sensitive.” I lifted my hands up, began to tug the hard tips with my fingers. “I hope my new mate likes playing with them.”

They actually were sensitive, and standing before Rezzer was arousing me. I wanted him to want me. To have his hands on my breasts instead of my own. I wanted to see more of his c**k than just the outline. I wanted to feel it deep inside.

“Female, you are pushing me.”

“Am I?”

I turned and walked to the door with an exaggerated swing in my hips. “How does this open?”

I wasn’t an exhibitionist, not at all. But I was on a new world, and I didn’t have to follow Earth rules. I didn’t want anyone else to see me, but if this made Rezzer mad enough to touch me, then it would be worth it.

He took two strides and came over to me, put his hand on my arm, and turned me toward him. I looked down at his big hand, so strikingly different than my pale arm. I was toned—exercising every morning at five a.m. before work certainly paid off—but his hands were like dinner plates. Gentle dinner plates.

“You are not going out there like that. No f*****g way.”

Ah, swearing. A good sign.

I blatantly glanced down at his c**k, saw that the bulge was bigger.

“I’m not your mate. You said so yourself. You have no reason to stop me,” I countered.

He huffed out a laugh. “Oh yes, I do.”

I arched a brow, tried my best haughty look. “And why is that?”

“Because until you are assigned to another, you’re mine. It is my duty to protect you.”

I shook my head, felt my hair slide across my bare shoulders. While the room wasn’t cold, it wasn’t warm either. His hand, though, was hot, and I wanted to wrap my arms around him and feel his heat.

“You’re giving me away.”

“Not like this,” he growled. “You’ll put that dress back on first, and then I’ll take you to medical.”

“Why? I want as many males to see me as possible, so they know what they might be getting. Those with the most…interest can be on the top of my list.”

“List? Do you have any idea what you would cause if you went out there like that?”

I shrugged again, made sure my breasts jiggled with the action. Grinned as they did, indeed, capture his attention.

“There will be an all-out battle. An unclaimed female, naked? I will have to beat them off. You don’t want a war, do you?”

I laughed, an honest one. “Me? Start a war?”

“They would take you to the fighting pits. Offer you up as a prize to the victor.”

Fighting pits? What kind of crazy ass planet was this? Barbarians Are Us? His nostrils flared and his gaze roamed freely over my body. Lingered. Heated. I lifted my hand to one n****e and rolled it between my fingers. Squeezed as a thrill traveled straight to my clit. I knew my eyes would be wide and dark. I didn’t hide what his nearness did to me. Brought up memories of the testing. Lust.

“Fighting? That would be bad, right? Since you can’t fight anymore? Although it could be kinda hot, watching them fight over me. No one has ever fought for me before.”

It was true. I was tall. Smart-mouthed. Wealthy—until the feds took everything—and mean when I had to be. The men brave enough to date me were few and far between. And not one of them had ever made me feel like this.

His eyes narrowed. Their color went from a deep green to almost black as he watched me play with my breast, transfixed.

“No one will see you like this but me.”

“You can’t stop me.” I lowered my hand and turned toward the door, but I knew I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Oh yes, I can.”

I stifled a small smile as he played right into my hand.

He spun me back, and the momentum propelled me right into his chest. An oomph escaped me. His hands settled on my lower back, but he turned me even further until I faced away from him. He walked me forward until I was pressed into the wall.

The surface was metallic. And cold. I hissed as my n*****s made contact, the memory of the testing dream rushing into my mind. That table had been cold, too. Rubbing my hard n*****s. Cooling me in the dream as the heat of the beast at my back had made me come.

Before I could think, he lifted my hands up over my head and secured them with one of his. I was stretched out, his body hard all along my side, my entire length pressed into the wall.

He’d manhandled me to exactly where he wanted me, but hadn’t hurt me. I felt dominated, yet protected. My control, which I’d wielded against him like a weapon, was gone.

He was in charge now, and I hoped I hadn’t just made a huge mistake.