2013
As the shutter fills the whole room, lights center on the girl in front of a white backdrop. Like a professional, she poses in front of the camera at various angles that the photographer is surely satisfied with. For them, they have considered her as their perfect model.
“Perfect, Alexandra! Give us more!” The director of the photoshoot shouted as I took it as a cue to show a fiercer look.
I tried focusing on the camera alone but, with those professional people looking at the monitor where my photos are shown, it was hard. I wasn’t sure of what they were thinking, but based on their smiles and simple nods, I just know that they are satisfied. At least, I was able to reach their expectations. After all, what they have offered me is such an opportunity of a lifetime.
For someone like me who has always been so used to being in front of the camera, may it be talking or posing for a single photo to post in order to shower the supportive people who adore me, being given an opportunity to model for such a known brand is my turning point. Since then, I have always known that being in front of the camera is my clear goal and a dream. Walking on the runway with such beautiful clothes is the dream for me.
“Thank you so much for agreeing to model for us, Alexandra. People weren’t really wrong when they said that you fit to be our model.” The director complimented me with a bright smile after handing me the pay for modeling for them. “I will surely hope to see you in the modeling industry in the future? Or maybe soon?”
I put on a shy smile, looking down for a while before nodding and looking up again. “I am more thankful to you for trusting me on this, but you flattered me too much, Ms. Marasigan. But if an opportunity comes, then why not?” I jokingly said, making her softly chuckle.
“Oh, honey,” Ms. Marasigan came closer, putting her hand over my cheeks. She tucked the loose hair strands of mine behind her ears, giving me an adoring look and warm smile. “You have such a bright future ahead of you, dear.”
It wasn’t the first time since I have heard someone say the exact phrase to me. Whenever elders look at me, may it be during a family gathering or a business party, everyone sees me and tells me that I will most likely grow up as a woman who is capable of making it on her own because of my face. With my tall height, pale skin, and face adored by most people, people considered me an apple of the eye for them.
As I grew up, I was so used to having all eyes on me—watching and adoring me like a fragile little girl. That is why I didn’t mind having all eyes on her while I walked out of my university campus with earphones on. It was the same every single day, as if it was a daily routine already. It does make me feel uncomfortable sometimes because there are so many eyes looking at me, but thinking that if I wanted to be in the modeling industry in the future, having people’s eyes on me is what I should master.
I drove my way to our hangout place and silently walked to the elevator before pushing the button that leads to the highest floor of the building. The silent hallway greeted me right away as the elevator stopped where our hang out place is settled in. It is the only room on the whole floor which is only accessible by our circle of friends alone. Usually, the room is always quiet whenever I come, because I usually come first to admire the view below.
But today was different.
As soon as I opened the door of the place, I was greeted by two people who were panicky while fixing themselves on the couch. It is Tyra and Dominic with their nervous expressions on. As I walked closer to them, I could feel this awkward atmosphere between the three of us. As if telling me that I shouldn’t be here for now. But maybe I was just overthinking?
My eyes landed on Dominic, who kept a panicked face while distancing himself from Tyra. He transferred himself to the single couch in silence and only cleared his voice. Tyra is no different as she nervously fixes her shirt while obviously avoiding my eyes.
“Aren’t you both too early today? Shouldn’t you still be in your class?” I asked them curiously, eyeing each of them.
“T-The professor dismissed the class early, that’s why. How about you? Done with the photoshoot?” Tyra answered with such a lump in her throat, making her stutter, while she looked at me, trying to remain composed, but it only made me look at her suspiciously more. “Did it go well?”
Despite the suspicion inside me, I still nodded while keeping my eyes and brows furrowed towards my friends. “It did. Anyway, what were you both doing here so early?”
It is enough that their reaction gives me ideas that I shouldn’t have had, but the way they were silent for a while after I asked them makes me even more suspicious in my eyes when I shouldn’t be. In the first place, Tyra has a boyfriend of her own. Even if that guy is such a mysterious one with that cold aura that I just naturally hated, I know that he is a good boyfriend towards her—or maybe I was also corrupted by Tyra telling us that he is a great guy? Nonetheless, it is enough for me to know that he is cherishing her well.
“We’re just… she’s helping me with some school work.” Dominic answered, pointing to the opened notebook and books on the table, with such panic in his voice. “It was hard to understand during class. That is why I had to ask for some help.”
My head tilted a little to the side, confused about what he meant. “But shouldn’t it be me you should be asking? We’re on the same course. Tyra is majoring in a different one.” I questioned him in complete lost.
“Y-You were busy! That’s why!” He answered, raising his voice a little.
“Damn, bro! No need to shout!” I said, chuckling.
I gave them a few more looks, deciding whether I should really take their presence in this room negative or not, but I just later on decided to shrug it off completely. It is impossible enough that something suspicious is actually going on with Tyra’s boyfriend in the picture, but it is absolutely impossible that something is up between Tyra and Dominic. Everyone in our circle knows that those two are no different than cats and dogs who are always ready to piss each other off. So I’m pretty sure I was just being judgmental at that point.
We stayed there until everyone arrived and decided to hang out for the night since we had just finished an important project before our exam. We, except for Tyra and Dominic who excused themselves for their important agendas, went to The Qube—the nightclub that is owned by Aisha’s older brother.
As soon as we arrived at the place, we immediately occupied one of the VIP rooms and were served with several drinks on the table. It is supposed to be a night for us to relax and become wasted after such an exhausting project making. But things always turn the other way round.
I excused myself and made my way to the restroom alone since Aisha already occupied the restroom inside our room. But before I could even get inside, someone suddenly pulled me by my elbow and pulled me into the dark hallway before pushing me into the wall alongside soft lips landing on mine. I tried to fight back, but for some reason, she couldn’t. There was this urge to return his soft yet rough kisses. The softness of the guy’s lips, despite the taste of alcohol inside his mouth, and his gentle touches on my skin, it was as if I was being addicted to it slowly.
Little did I know, the kiss deepened as the guy put his hand over my waist, pulling me closer to him. This is crazy! I have made out with other guys before, but I would never imagine that just simply going to the restroom would lead me to something like this—an irresistible makeout session. On top of that, I don’t even know who this guy is!
A couple of minutes later, I pushed him back gently to get some oxygen. I was panting hard as my shoulders rose up and down heavily. But the moment I look up and the glimpse of light comes in our way, allowing me to see the face of this guy, all hell breaks loose.
“Brandon?!” I shouted with my eyes wide, looking up at the lustful yet bloodshot eyes of Tyra’s one and only supposedly good boyfriend.
My lips parted in shock. What have I done? This is so wrong! I just made out with my friend’s boyfriend! What the f*****g hell?!
While I am panicking inside, this guy in front of him does seem to look like he remembers the fact he is with someone—much worse, my friend! A couple of seconds later, Brandon suddenly came closer to me again, blabbering nonsense that I couldn’t understand, but I was quick to push him away this time. The hell is wrong with this guy?!
“f**k it, Brandon! Don’t you dare tell this to anyone else!” I only said before leaving him in that dark alley.
I heard him speak but I couldn’t care less anymore because that asshole had officially ruined my night! Just as I thought things couldn’t be much worse, when the morning came, I received a message from Tyra on our group chat saying that she wanted us to come to our hangout place right away.
With my head pounding due to a hangover, I still drove my way there while trying to make out words of explanation about what happened between me and her boyfriend last night. But the moment we gathered in one place, what Tyra did next was let the tears flood into her cheeks as she explained what happened.
“Brandon… he broke up with me,” Tyra said in between sobs.
While everyone was busy comforting our broken-hearted friend, I was left alone at the back and in the dark—nervous, guilty and angry about what happened after just a single night passed by. With the anger striking in, I left their hangout place without minding the endless calls from my friends and drove my way to the campus where I could find the guy whom I had tainted as a jerk in my mind.
It was easy for me to find someone like Brandon because he easily stands out in the crowd. That is why, without any hesitation, I immediately walked towards him with confidence and hands formed into fists when I caught a glimpse of him. But I stopped mid-way when he suddenly hugged the guy in front of him.
My eyes narrowed as the hug became longer. From what I know, he is always with that other guy, but I don’t really know who he is. Once the hug was broken, I brushed off any suspicion and marched forward to them.
“Brandon Styles!” I called, making Brandon and his friend turn around to face me. Maybe we’re lucky because we are the only ones in the hallway, so no one will know this has ever happened.
Compared to the bloodshot eyes that he had last night, he has weary eyes. He looks down at me with such soulless eyes. As if my presence is not even welcome anywhere near him...
“What do you want, Borres?” He coldly responded.
The guts of this jerk?! After what he did last night, did he really have the guts to talk to me like that?!
I looked at him with anger but it was at that moment when I noticed that he looked clueless. As if he couldn’t even remember what kind of stupidity and cheating he did last night. Maybe it's because he was obviously wasted? I wasn’t sure whether that was even a great thing but, if he can’t remember what happened last night, then why did he break up with Tyra?
“Do you know that my friend is crying her eyes out because you broke up with her?” I confronted him but only got silent treatment. He only remained looking down at me while the anger inside me grew even further. “Can’t you just at least explain why?!”
Much to my expectation, he let out a sigh. “Why don’t you ask your dear friend how she enjoyed playing with one's feelings instead?”
It was the only response that he gave me before leaving me hanging with several questions in mind. But there was only one thing that remained in me. That is how he can just keep his cool despite breaking up with my friend. And because of that, I was furious.
As I look at his back going further, the natural hate I have towards him when Tyra first introduces him to us grows even more. How can he blame Tyra for their break up? How can he even say that she was playing with his feelings when it was him playing with people's feelings? I should have known he was just a damn jerk!
“f*****g asshole.” I mumbled, looking fiercely at his back. If only my eyes could kill, he would be dead by now.
For a jerk like him, the only way to get revenge was to get even. The next time I see him again, it will be a time when he is the one crying in pain already. And I will make sure myself that it will happen.