Baby, You and I

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“So... See you on Saturday?”

Chanhyun raises both of his arms for Yeolchan to carry him. “I’ll miss you, daddy. Please, take a rest,” Chanhyun murmurs close to Yeolchan’s ear, both of them hugging each other tightly.

“I will, Hyunnie. I will. And I will miss you more, you know that. Now sleep and be a good boy, alright? It’s already so late.”

Nodding, Chanhyun kisses his forehead, the tip of his nose, and then his lips. “Good night, daddy. Please leave before I cry again. I don’t want you to see me crying.”

Yeolchan swallows through the lump forming in his throat. Instead of leaving, he sits on Chanhyun’s bed and pulls slightly away to look at his kid. “How about I wait until you fall asleep so I can be sure you wouldn’t cry? You know you’re not allowed to cry so much, right?”

Chanhyun’s nose is already turning red and his small lips start quivering. Yeolchan can tell that the kid is just some words away from finally breaking down again. “Okay. But close your eyes if I cry because I don’t want you to see.”

Yeolchan nods at the kid’s request, kissing the top of his head. “Alright, Hyunnie. For now, let’s lie down, close our eyes and talk about what happened this morning.” He smiles, thinking of a subtle way to distract both of them from another sad goodbye. “You did great in that school. Are you sure you want to study ahead of your age?”

Lying back, the kid finally smiles back at Yeolchan. “Are you scared I’d grow up faster, daddy?”

Yeolchan tickles his side, earning a fit of giggles from his kid. “You talk like you’re ten years old. You’d still be my baby even if you grow taller than I am.” He lies beside him under the duvet, letting the kid drape his small arms around him. “You can still change your mind. You know that, right? I just want you to enjoy every second of your childhood without any pressure.”

“Don’t worry, daddy. I’d still get my playtime with those kids from the playroom,” Chanhyun reassures him, closing his small eyes. “I did great, didn’t I?”

With the same level of enthusiasm, Yeolchan kisses his cheek. “That, you did. And I’m so proud of you.”

“I knew it. If I study ahead, I can also teach them what I know after they walk out of the playroom. Right?”

With a light chuckle, Yeolchan closes his eyes, too. The kid thinks that the classroom for nursery is a simple playroom for children, which probably gave him the idea that it’s not fit for the actual academic lessons. This child really do think like an adult, and it’s both adorable and alarming at the same time.

When Chanhyun took an entrance exam this morning in a school that’s approximately ten minutes away from the hospital where Yeolchan works, the kid surprised him with his advanced knowledge and asked his father for an exam that’s slightly difficult. The instructor then decided to give him the diagnostic exam for a first-grader which the child aced with a perfect score. In fact, they had been offered to accelerate Chanhyun to second grade, but Yeolchan immediately declined.

Yeolchan couldn’t be any more proud of his little angel, but he still didn’t want the kid to go to school under pressure and just take classes for the sake of learning academics. He wants the kid to have fun, but it seemed like the child himself had other plans when he told his daddy to, “Don’t worry. This is what I’ve been waiting for. Please let me in ahead. I don’t want to spend longer time in the playroom.”

And Yeolchan knows this all too well. The kid probably has more books in his possession; Yeolchan barely sees him taking interests in toys, and even his behavior is sometimes far advanced for his age. But despite all this, Chanhyun is still a kid and he doesn’t fail to seem so whenever he chooses. He likes being all adorable when Yeolchan’s around, playing jigsaw puzzles and building Lego town. And although Yeolchan has every right to choose for him because he’s the only legal guardian left for Chanhyun, he still chose to let the kid decide for himself first to see what happens. As early as now, Yeolchan wants his kid to experience the freedom to decide and do what he wants, so long as he knows it wouldn’t harm the child.

Chanhyun is very keen to privacy, too, much like his father. He feels uncomfortable when someone walks into his room without him giving his permission, since he knows he has the right to it. This became a problem when Chanhyun started living with Mr. and Mrs. Park since the grandparents won’t take it seriously. The poor kid is slowly getting used to locking himself in to avoid any disrespectful confrontations, which Yeolchan has argued over with his parents yesterday. This is something that Yeolchan aims to fix soon.

Which is exactly why when Yeolchan got notified just this noon, by the same school where Chanhyun registered, that someone asked personal details about them, he immediately talked to his closest cousin from his father’s side—Park Sunho.

Yeolchan’s own personal information is safe from public knowledge since he had his own name legally removed from his family lines. His private life is as smooth as he can get it to be, knowing the hospital he works with also takes good care of his information. He’s not paying his personal counselors for nothing, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to take the situation lightly. He has to know who’s the bastard that’s been trying to pry into his private life under illegal stalking.

“Right,” Yeolchan finally breathes out. “And maybe, help make the world a better place by being kind enough to respect other people. What do you say?”

Yawning, Chanhyun tightens his embrace on Yeolchan’s chest. “I’ll do my best, daddy. Just promise you’d always be there to smile at me whenever I’m working on it.”

Chanhyun has been talking about world peace and kindness since he turned three—an idea he got from a children’s book that Yeolchan sent him on the first week that they were away. Since then, the moral of the story has imprinted itself on Chanhyun’s mind and he’s determined to make the same big change, just like what the protagonist of the story did. And Yeolchan isn’t going to stop him from dreaming of this because it’s possible if every child can get the same influence. Not that he’s being a sappy s**t, but it’s a pretty nice thought for a kid.

“I will always be with you, Hyunnie,” Yeolchan whispers, kissing Chanhyun’s forehead, cute button nose, and thin lips. “Sweet dreams. I love you.”

“I love you more,” Chanhyun whispers back, drifting off to sleep. “See you soon.”

An hour after making sure that his kid is already sleeping soundly, he carefully leaves the room, groping his chest pocket for his phone. He knows it’s already almost midnight and he has yet to drive back to Gangnam, but his agitation can no longer wait. He dials Jaesoo’s number.

“Who the fvck... Park?” Jaesoo answers with a sleepy voice. “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry, I ruined your sleep,” Yeolchan apologizes quickly and yet, he’s not even planning to let the man go back to his peaceful slumber. “I know we barely get rest but I really need to speak to someone or I’d go mad.”

“That’s alright,” Jaesoo dismisses. “You’re my best friend. I’d be surprised if you never once bothered me at a very inconvenient time.”

“Thanks, Soo,” Yeolchan answers with a light chuckle. “You have no idea how troubled I feel today.”

“Hold on. Give me a minute. Let me just brush my teeth. I’ll put the phone on speaker while at it.”

Yeolchan shakes his head. “It’s not like I can smell your breath.”

“Shut up. I’m not brushing my teeth for you, I could care less about what my breath smells like for other people. Are you still in Busan?”

Yeolchan hears some shuffling from the other line and guesses that Jaesoo is probably starting to brush his teeth now. They are this comfortable with each other to talk even when they’re in the middle of a disgusting routine or intimate moments alone. Yeolchan doesn’t think he can be like this with anyone else but his best friend.

“It would probably take me about four or five hours to get back,” Yeolchan answers. “I just tucked Chanhyun to bed so I stayed a little longer here.”

“How is he faring? Does he still remember me?” Jaesoo asks in a muffled voice.

Yeolchan thinks back to the conversations he’s been having with Chanhyun for the past few days they’ve been together and smiles to himself. “He’s gotten taller but he lost a bit of weight. Probably because he’s growing, but I also think it’s because he can’t eat well in here. I really need to get him back with me.”

Jaesoo lets out an exhausted breath. “Let me know when. I’ll feed him all his favorite dishes,” he says almost incoherently, probably with the toothpaste foam still in his mouth. “What’s the purpose of living in huge houses if you can’t feed a small child properly?”

Yeolchan looks around the said big house from his view in this balcony. The Park Villa used to be a retreat house for his family. His parents have a huge estate back in the capital but because they want Chanhyun to have a friendly environment before starting school, they have temporarily moved in here with more housemaids, security team, and service staff than actual family members. It’s also good for Chanhyun’s health condition to be in less polluted places so living here was their safest choice. But since Chanhyun is already getting better, Yeolchan thinks he can bring him back now as long as they’re careful with their routines.

“I think it’s more to do with the fact that I have not been with him for the most part of these months,” Yeolchan replies. “Whenever we get to see each other, he’s eating enthusiastically even if he doesn’t like the food so much. And also, of course he remembers you. Or more specifically, his favorite stir-fried vegetables with glass noodles made by his favorite chef.”

“I really miss him, too.” The sound of water running from a faucet followed by the sound of an opening cupboard reach Yeolchan’s ears. “How’s the school registration?” Jaesoo asks.

“I’d tell you more about it when we meet. Do you have a shift today?”

Both the muffled shuffling and the faucet’s sounds stop. “Your cousin is taking out his childish anger on me,” Jaesoo starts. “He keeps ordering his own father to give us the same schedules and would act up whenever I’m around. You know, intentionally making mistakes and purposefully taking excessive breaks. It’s annoying, really. I already submitted an incident report for insubordination but the chief told me the bastard would be suspended for three days if he approves of it, so I decided to take it back because I can’t let that fvcker take a good rest while I exhaust my ass working and suffering alone.”

Yeolchan suspects that it has taken a lot of his best friend to voice out this puny complain so he doesn’t resist the urge to tease him further. “Or maybe he’s just going for the obvious. You know, trying to spend more time with you, while I’m not around to assume he actually likes that you’re alone with him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. He barely even talks to me like how a normal person would. He’s always talking so casually with me and treats me like he’s my senior.”

“Which means he treats you in a personally special way. You know how respectful he is towards other people.”

“How he treats others is no longer my business,” Jaesoo replies.

After pausing for a few seconds, Yeolchan finally asks, “Does it bother you, though?”

“What does?”

“I mean, Seojin. If he likes you, hypothetically, are you alright with that?”

“Why me?” Jaesoo whines.

Yeolchan snorts. “Just answer the damned question.”

“Like, what would I even lose aside from my non-existent peace of mind?” the younger finally snaps. “I don’t care if he likes me. Whether or not he does, it’s not like it’s my obligation to like him back, at least. And I have no control over what a person feels for me so I guess I’m still neutral to the idea.”

Chuckling, Yeolchan decides to end Jaesoo’s confusion. “Fine. He likes you.”