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(Tessa) I made myself shower when I got back home to El and I's apartment. I needed something to soothe my nerves, my heart, my soul. I sobbed under the hot water, crying until there was nothing left. I wish I had never marked Rowan because now we were united in our grief and his was so deep. 'Maybe I should just reject him so he doesn't feel this pain,' I sobbed to Dez. 'You have no idea if he'd survive that,' Dez said sternly. 'It is said to bring the strongest wolves to their knees and he's no wolf.' I slid down the shower wall, hugging my knees to my chest. Dez was right. The pain of the rejection could kill Rowan and I wouldn't be there to help him. I felt like I had ruined his life. I was slipping into despair fast and Dez was getting agitated. I could feel her anger bubbling