Almost Is never enough

Isadora

He wrapped his hand around my hair, slowly yanked it. I dug my teeth into my lip and moaned heavy he pulled my face up with his index finger. His finger ran down my lips 

" Stop, you know what that does to me,," He said

 "What are you going to do about it," I said

 He took his index and middle fingers and pulled them close to me as he slowed down his fingers in circle movement. His finger moved up and down, pulling at the fabric of my panties as he dug his fingers into the fabric I moaned lightly. 

“This what you do to me.” "Do you deserve to c*m?" He asked 

 I nodded as I stared his ocean blue eyes. I moved on top of his hands around my hips, my legs spread around his waist. I rode my hips up and down him, I could feel him forming in his boxers as he pushed me off of him. I laid side ways facing the window he pulled his c**k in me; he raised my leg, jamming himself in me.

'Ugh' I groaned  

He slipped out of me; I walked over to the desk and sat on it I stretched my legs open pushing my thumbs at my n*****s. biting my lip. I grasp and I pushed my boobs until he got up from the bed before he picked me up. I pushed back his jet black crew cut. 

"f**k, Isa don't tease me like, you know we have to leave soon," he mumbled 

 *A day later*

When I finished cheering the boys on at football, Jackson winked at me before he went onto the field to play. I looked over to my boyfriend Sebastian, who handed Jackson something. Jackson roamed over to me and handed me Sebastian’s jacket.

"He told me to give it to you because you looked cold, ' He started eyeing me in my red and white cheer skirt. I can understand why you would be cold in that short skirt," He said. 

I walked over to the back of the bleacher and slid my hand in my skirt. I could hear him laughing. I lingered on my index finger and moaned softly. I snapped out of it when I heard Sebastian and Jackson arguing.

"So I want to ask you something. Who do you think Isadora likes to f**k m-"He stopped him 

 Jackson winked at me.

Sebastian stared at me with the look of disbelief. "Tell me it’s not true. PLEASE tell me you weren't f*****g Jackson" He exclaimed, visibly upset. 

"You weren't supposed to find out,' I cried.

“I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO f*****g FIND OUT WHAT THE f**k DO YOU MEAN I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT!” He exclaimed  

It infuriated me, how Jackson just told him.

 Why would he say something? 

I looked over at him and he had no care in the world, it's true what they say the bad boys will ruin you and get away with what they did.

"He had the right to know," Jackson said

I ran off the field, and into the locked room to change, Jackson followed me as he looked at me with his lustful yet careless eyes.

"Did you finish?" He asked.

"W-what are you talking about?" I stammered.

He chuckled lightly before he slid his icy finger in my skirt. I started to panting softly. My eyes fluttered, and he touched his lips with mine as he fingered me slowly.

 "Stop, you can't do that Jackson, you just exposed me to the school," I cried.

Also, I didn't want him to stop, but it would be wrong to continue after the events of today. He knew that, and I knew that.

"Tell me you don't want me and I'll back off. Look me in the eye and say that," He said.

"Jackson, someone could walk in," I said.

He ripped my cheer uniform top, pressing my boobs against the blue lockers he took me in from behind and I gasped at the first take. I turned my face to meet him. He kissed me after riding me slowly. I let out a heavy moan and dug my fingers in his back. After we finished, he looked me in my eyes.

“Isa, what do you actually want?” He asked 

I looked him in the eyes as I fixed my clothes. Jackson and I had been hooking up for two months now but, I didn't think of me actually continuing once Sebastian realized that he actually loved me. He raised my head up with his finger and then kissed me with his warm pink lips.

 “Don't” I said.

He got on his knees and pulled my skirt down, ripping most of it. I shook my head at him, sighing quietly.

"Jackson, stop someone could walk in," I said again. 

“Let them,” He said. 

He didn't care, but I did. None of this affects him; it affects me. He yanked my lace lavender panties, stretching them while he pulled them off my legs. When his lips touched me, I laid back on the locker. My eyes fluttered, his tongue pressed in me. I yanked his hair as I enjoyed what he was doing to me.

"J-Jackson" I moaned softly. 

He stopped after he knew I finished. I pulled my skirt up and walked to the locker to change out of my school clothes and grab my phone. I walked over to the changing rooms. When I got home I didn't stop, I just went straight to my room. When I woke up to the pitch-black sky shining from my curtains, I checked my phone had over 25 missed calls from Jackson and 100 text messages from him. This needs to end. I blocked him and went to get ahead of schoolwork. I turned on some music and then scribbled on a paper. Tapping the back of my pen on a paper, my brother walked into my room with his fresh coat of painted nails.

“Let me guess Taylor painted your nails,” I said. 

“Working on math?” He asked. 

Carson left, I went back to trying to figure this problem out, maybe it’s not just the math problem I'm thinking about. Once I finished with my schoolwork, there was a knock at my door. What did my brother need now? When I answered it, Jackson at my door. I'm confused. 

"What are you doing here?" I said while crossing my arms. 

"You didn't answer my text or call, I thought you did something, crazy," he said. 

I rolled my eyes and sat at my desk. Was he thinking I would really take my life away because I'm now classified as a cheater in school yeah it's the end of the world?

"I blocked you that why I didn't answer and also you need to go just," I said 

I fell onto my bed, and he was just standing over me. He pulled the picture of me and Sebastian down that was lying on my nightstand where it lived. That was on our first date when he took me to the school play because he knew I liked theater. I wore a dark blue dress with ruffles because I thought it would show how elegant I was, but little did I know l was wrong.

"I'm not leaving. You didn't want me leaving when I was touching you or eating you out in the lockers earlier," He said. 

"Don't remind me okay, I was at my lowest," I said. 

 He moved on top of me; he dug at my neck with his lips. I want to forget him and move on, but he won't let me.

"Or maybe you just like the excitement,’ he said. 

He laid next to me on the bed playing with my hair; I moved on top of him and he pulled something out of his pocket. I jumped up as soon as he pulled it out he had a blunt in his hand and tried to light it up.

“What the hell you can't smoke that in my room,” I said frantically trying to get him up. 

“Chill,” He said, giving me a kiss.

 He started with that kiss. My eyes moved onto the ceiling. He moved on top of me. He slid my hands up and pinned them down. He did that thing where he kisses me to reassure me I would be fine. He lit up the blunt; he put it to his lips. He looked over at me; he grazed my lips pushing smoke in; I spit it out, coughing and laughing at the same time.

“See you're having fun,” He said.

“That's not the point my parents are downstairs,” I replied.

We were having fun, and he was showing me what I was doing wrong and I was actually enjoying his presence. He pulled my shorts down. I looked up at him, he casually got down, he looked up at me and he yanked down my panties. My phone went off the moment he did. I went over to grab it, but he touches my hand before I did.

"Ignore it,’ He said. 

 I looked at my phone. It was Sebastian. Why did he call? To yell at me repeatedly? I already had people talking about me behind my f*****g back. I answered the phone and without a doubt he started yelling. While Sebastian was talking, Jackson was pushing my legs apart and his mouth gently kissing my inner thigh.

“f**k” I mumbled. 

Sebastian ignored it like he ignored a bunch of s**t.

 "I want to make us work. We went through almost three years to just give up over this bullshit,” he said. 

I didn't even know if I wanted to get back together with him. I didn't know what I wanted, but somewhere in my mind is making me want this. To my dad, he thinks Sebastian is the one for me he has been pushing me since day one.

"Yeah, I'm sorry it was wrong and selfish," I said. 

“Your just an attention w***e,” He said. 

I could tell that Jackson heard it, and he wanted to do something. This wasn't the first time he said something like that, but people don't get to see that s**t. Jackson's teeth sink in my thigh, I gasped. I brushed his hair back with my hand and his tongue pushed in me as I raised my body up Jackson whispered “why are you so f*****g wet” Then I let out a groan.

 “Can I come over?” He asked. 

"Maybe tomorrow" Jackson got up and kissed my lips "I'm studying" I lied.

He agreed. I felt bad still lying to him, but I also knew that Jackson wasn't leaving soon. I hung up on him and I wrapped up my hair.

"You need to leave okay, you can stay in the guest room," I said. 

I walked toward my bathroom, and he followed.

"W-what are you doing," I stuttered.

"I'm getting in the shower with you," He said.

He can’t do that, I would melt away like a puddle on the ground. I tried not to blush beet red, but I couldn’t control it.

"No, you're not," I said in protest. 

I turned on the water and tried to push him out of the bathroom.

"Come on, don't make this hard, you don't like him anymore," he said, giving me a smirk. 

"No, I love him," I question. 

He rolled his eyes. I don't have time for this. I removed my clothes and went into the shower. His eyes were on my body as if there was no flaw as he walked over to the shower. My eyes met his. He started taking off his clothes. My eyes never moved far from his face. When he got in the shower I followed along, I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him. We stood under the shower head as water dripped down his back and chest hitting the top of my head falling onto my face as I kissed him.

"Jackson, get someone better than a cheater AND I've worked things out with him because he didn’t want to give up on the things we have," I said.      

"Maybe there is nobody better for me than you," He said. 

I kissed him again, and he pushed me against the shower wall. Pushing himself in me. I gasp with pleasure as my hand ran up the tiles. He jammed himself into again then putting me down. He leaned down and gave me a brief peck on the lip. I got out of the shower when I walked out my mom was there on my bed. I walked back into the bathroom and whispered to Jackson not to leave the bathroom because my mom is out there. When I walked out, I thought she and dad were going on a retreat to keep their s*x life alive. Their words not mine, but why did they have to tell their children that.

"Who were you talking to in there Isa," She asked 

"Nobody, I was talking to myself mom," I said 

I went to pick an outfit to wear; I looked at her.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you we're leaving," She said before walking out of the room

I closed my door and locked it and then opened the bathroom.

"I could have gotten in trouble because of you after you get dressed, you need to go," I said

He walked out the bathroom and pulled out some grey sweatpants that he had in a duffel bag. He sat on my bed watching me as I put on a crop-top and some panties. When I finished, I moved over to the bed. We looked at the ceiling. I felt his almost froze finger conducted down in panties. I gasp as I looked at the ceiling. Not looking down, I bite down on my lip as he presses a spot. 

"Okay, tell me what you see in him," he said 

"Sebastian, unlike a bunch of us, he's going places," I said 

His finger picked up the speed and moaned as it did. 

"If he wasn't in the picture, would there be a chance for us," he said 

"Maybe, "I said 

He keeps going, and I thought about that last question: if there was no Sebastian would there have been a Jackson and me. 

*A week later*

There was this party as I was getting ready Sebastian called I was still I didn't know if I wanted to play as Sebastian perfect girlfriend. We talked, and we both agreed that it would take a while to fix our relationship. My phone went off, and I answered it 

‘Yeah, I’m here’ Sebastian said 

‘But I’m not even dre-’ I say before he cut me off

‘I said I’m here I didn’t ask for all that bullshit,’ He said 

I didn’t say anything, I just grabbed and put on the nearest thing: a skirt and blouse and some flats. When I got in his car he didn’t say anything to me he was also drunk. When we walked into the building, the party was taking place. There were red plastic cups all over the floor along with a used condom.

‘ She still f*****g that w***e,’ I heard in the distance

In my mind, I was thinking about how we never had s*x because Sebastian said he was waiting for love. At the corner of my eye, I saw Jackson he looked up at me I moved my head down before he had seen how pitiful I was. Sebastian noticed my stare and gave me a little squeeze that brought me back to reality.

"I'm going to get a drink, ‘ He said 

He walked off without care I walked up the stairs I could deal with the stares of others. When I got upstairs, I have seen my old cheer friend Katherine she stared at me but didn’t say anything. I got a text on my phone I knew who it was, but that didn’t stop me from looking at it.

Jackson: You look so bored 

I didn't write back because I was trying to make it work with my boyfriend who I was here with. When he realized I would not text back, he took it into his hand and send another text.

Jackson: I wished you weren't his 

Me: stop I made my choice

I turned off my phone and ran into the bathroom I needed a break I set my phone on the sink I got my time out now it’s time to face people. I walked out of the bathroom and went downstairs to see Sebastian making out with a cheerleader. All eyes were on me, they wanted to know what I was going to say at this point, I didn’t care the relationship was dead. I walked to the door and Sebastian caught eyes on me.

‘If you walk out that door where done, ’He yelled trying to put on a show for everyone in the room 

Jackson’s eyes were on me to see what I was going to do I was questioning if I should. I continued walking not giving a f**k anymore which is what I should have done a week ago. I waited for an Uber, I went back inside. Sebastian's eyes looked at Jackson, Jackson looked back at him.

‘What the f**k are you looking at you got the girl,’ Sebastian slurred 

Sebastian walked over to Jackson, getting all in Jackson’s face. Jackson didn’t say anything Sebastian shoved him. I just couldn’t stop thinking of the mess I caused.

‘You never just think that the issue, Isadora couldn’t love a f*****g control freak,’ He said 

Jackson had truth in what he said he was controlling once everything was out in the open. But I just ignore it because I thought it was my fault. Sebastian swung his clenched fist he holds for a while now at Jackson. Jackson looked at me but did nothing but shove Sebastian off of him.

‘You’re not worth my time, Blake,’ Jackson said 

‘What the f**k is wrong with you,’ I aimed at Sebastian 

I walked away with Sebastian following and walked near the door, and he was standing there.

"I'm leaving to go have s*x with Claire," Sebastian said, trying to get under my skin with a smiling blonde in his hand

‘Wow okay good for you it wouldn’t the first or last time Claire  and you go together,’ I said 

I wander outside, not looking back at the same time I got a text that my Uber was outside Jackson was outside with a blunt in his hand getting ready to light it.

"What happened to Bree,’ I asked 

‘It wouldn’t be right to sleep with her when I’m in love with someone else,’ He replied 

I walked over to the parked care and gestured for Jackson to get in along with me. The car drove. Jackson placed my feet on his lap, taking off my shoes as the driver looked at us through the mirror. Jackson flipped him off, I was scared that the Uber driver would stop at the middle of the road and have us walk the rest of the way.

"Why do you have to be rude," I said 

He pressed his thumb deep into my foot as I moaned. I laid on the door he moved on top of me; I pushed him away. He can't after what just.

"We can't," I said softly

*When we got home*

I thanked the Uber driver, and I walked upstairs, trying not to trip on anything and fall. So that my parents wouldn't wake up and I would have to explain Jackson to them. When we got to my room, he pulled off his shirt and laid on the bed. Part of me debated if I should wear his shirt or not he notices me just standing there stunned.

"What," he said 

Then noticing me looking at the shirt, he grabbed it, pulled off my dress and then put me in the shirt. He pushed a strand of my brown hair behind my ear. Then his eyes went down to my full lips. I moved back before anything could happen.

"I'm going to thank Carson for covering me do you want water or anything, I asked 

He didn't say anything before I fled the room he threw a pair of shorts at me. I rolled my eyes why did I need a pair of shorts the shirt is passing my knees it a shirt. I wandered out of my room toward Carson, which was right next door when I opened the door I saw something I wish I didn't.

"Please lock the door Carson," I whispered-yelled

I slammed it and then went back to my room. Jackson was looking through my phone. I could see that he put down the picture of me and Sebastian together. Jackson stood behind me wrapping his arms around me kissing my neck. It felt nice but it shouldn't happen I held his head as he kissed my neck.

"Why aren't you trying to stop me," He asked 

"Because I don't want you to stop, I want you,"I said 

His ocean eyes looked at my brown ones then lips touched mine, there was this soft feeling we moved to the wall him. Some stuff dropped.

"Why would rather stay unhappy with one guy then be with the guy you actually like to be around," He asked 

I stayed quiet I didn’t know how to answer that honestly. I stepped over to my bed and pulled off the cover after putting my hair in a ponytail.

"He said he will be here tomorrow I told him no, he shouldn’t have your time and also you won't be here," he said 

"Why where am I going," I asked 

Tomorrow Saturday, Jackson explained that we going on a date and that he would try everything right. I turned off my light as I drifted my eyes closed.

 "Why am I staring at the back of your head," Jackson said 

"Because if I look at you, I won't be going to sleep," I said 

There was a knock on my door and Jackson hid under the blanket I told whoever was there to open the door. Mom walked into the room and sat on the end of the bed.

"It feels like there could be someone under here," she said 

I laughed at my mom. I felt what Jackson was doing, and I gasped. I'm glad my mom didn't notice.

"M-mom, I'm tried and I have plans tomorrow so," I said 

"I get it you to cool to hang out with old mom," she said before pulling up a peace sign and walking out the room locking the door on the way out Jackson pecks his head out, my lips touch him and I don't want him to stop. He went back down, I bit my lip and my phone went off. It was Sebastian why was he calling wasn’t he supposed to be having s*x with Heather.

"Hey what are you doing," he said 

"Trying to go to sleep," I lied 

I hope he doesn't think we’re cool after that stunt he pulled at the part. Jackson's tongue hit my g-spot at just the right time. I let out a moan as I accidentally hit the end call, but I didn't care I don’t even know why I was still talking to him. 

"Jackson" I moaned 

"Tell me he doesn't touch you the way I do," He demanded 

I don’t know why people keep implying that we had s*x when we didn’t he said he wanted to have s*x with someone he loves and that clearly wasn’t me. My phone went off, like a dumbass I answered. 

"What do you want,” I said

"Is he there?" He asked 

"No, he not and also leave the f**k me alone," I lied 

I think even Sebastian knew the relationship was as good as dead now I didn’t have to tell him. But he wasn’t getting the memo to let it die, so I had to tell him.

" Sebastian, I can't do this anymore it not there anymore," I said 

"It is because of him, isn't it," he said 

I didn't want to lie to him, I just told him it’s complicated. He said nothing, he just hung up. I pushed Jackson away and moved my phone onto my nightstand. I turned to face Jackson as he touched my face.

"In the morning you need to go," I cried 

He tried to reach for my hand, but I pulled mine away.

"What the f**k, I don't just want to f**k, I like you and,  if you're not let me know so I don't waste my time," he said 

"I am it just not the right time," I said 

I faced him, and he moved my hair out of my face and kissed me.

"Okay, I’m still taking you out as friends, of course," he asked  

"Friends, "I said softly 

When I woke up Jackson was gone like he said he would, I was still in his shirt. It still smelled like him, a warm spice when I got stairs my father notice my cheerful smile from cheek to cheek.

‘Isabear what happened to you and how much do I have to pay for it,’ He said 

‘I’m going on a date and also I kinda need forty dollars’ I said 

Dad handed me the money, and I went over to make myself a smoothie with blueberries and strawberries. After I finished, I ran upstairs picking out my outfits; I end out with a pink with sunflowers mesh skirt and a crop-top. I went into the bathroom to wash up when I got out; I wait a while to get dressed. My phone went off Jackson was on the phone I smiled to myself.

‘Hi, I’ll be there in an hour,’ He said 

“Okay, I’m just getting dressed just tell me when you get there so I come outside and we don’t have a deal with the embarrassed conversation of my parents’ I told him

I hung up and continue to get ready Carson came into my room looking me up and down in my flower girl get up.

‘I want to meet him,’ Carson said 

‘No,’ I replied 

I hate being the youngest and having an overprotective brother that was Carson. I’m glad that Aquamarine went to college when she did, but that also gave Carson to be the older sibling of the house. I opened the door after to hear my mom say.

‘You must be Isadora‘ friend’

‘Yeah, we’re hanging out today,’ Jackson replied 

I’m going to kill him I told him to meet me outside of my house I didn’t have time for the embarrassment but I guess he would like to see that. I strolled down the wooden stairs and tried to add a smile to my face.

‘What are you doing here I thought we were going to meet outside,’ I said

‘I wanted to meet your family,’ He said 

I ran back upstairs and continue to get ready my brother knocked on my door when I answered it Carson wasn’t there it was Jackson he walked in the room and smiled.

‘I can’t with you,’ I said 

‘I wonder do you still know some of your ballet dances’ He said 

I playful hit him my parents told him , I wonder what else they told him. He laughed as he looked through my bedroom I went into the bathroom and put on clear gloss. I slide into my beige wedges I zipped up the sides I grabbed my laptop and put it in my bag.

‘What the plan,’ I asked 

“We can get coffee and talk like friends’ He said 

There was that word from last night friends, I didn’t like saying that to explain us, but that what we are "friends" . I walked downstairs, and I said see you later to my parents when I got outside I stopped in my track when I saw the motorcycle.

‘I’m not getting on that,’ I said 

‘Why not’ He replied

That like a death machine, I wouldn't be surprised if he could ride it. He got on and held my hand and pulled me towards the parked bike. I got on, but if he kills me and there someway he lives, I’m coming back to haunt him.

‘I’m going to kill you ,if you kill me on that thing,’ I said