Summer Love Box Set

Drowning in Neptune’s Pool-7

“You go to the festival this weekend?” Pete asked when I arrived at work on Monday morning.

“Oh, yeah. It was awesome. Kick-ass music.”

“What about that guy in your building? Didn’t he play?”

I didn’t want to think about Landry right now. “Sure. His band was the headliner. They totally rocked the house.” I moved quickly to gather my equipment and leave so I could avoid any further conversation.

When I got home that night, I’d already deleted fifteen messages from Landry. What was with this guy? There was also a piece of paper taped to my door. I removed it and let myself into the apartment.

I set my belongings on the kitchen table and went to take a shower. The day had been hot and sweaty as only July could be. I needed to cool down before dealing with whatever was in that note, since I had a good idea who wrote it.

After cleaning up, I made myself some pasta and meat sauce. While the pot bubbled, I read the missive.

It was, indeed, from Landry. He asked if I could stop by his place for five minutes, and that he really needed to talk to me. Anytime would be fine. I threw the note away and ate my dinner while I thought about it.

What could he possibly have to say to me? There were no words left between us, and nothing could erase the hurtful things he’d said this past weekend. I really didn’t know if I wanted to dredge all that up again. I should just let bygones be bygones.

I finished my meal and decided to watch reruns on TV for a while. They couldn’t keep my mind off Landry, however, so I decided to get it over with, if only so he’d stop texting me. I’d received another five messages since I got home.

I pushed my feet into some worn sandals and went to his place. I knocked on the door, and it opened a few seconds later.

I held up a hand to stop him from speaking first. “I’m here, Landry. What do you want?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest. I refused to give an inch.

“Would you come in, please? Just for a minute.”

I looked at his face, and there was a mixture of trepidation and regret in his expression. “Five minutes,” I replied and stepped inside.

He closed the door behind me and led the way to the couch. “Would you like to sit down?” he asked, gesturing to the cushions.

“I’ll stand.”

“Okay.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs, which I noticed were distractingly bare, since he wore shorts. His legs were hairy. “Thanks for coming over. I…I’m really sorry for what I said to you, Jimmy. I haven’t gone on a bender like that since my boyfriend in graduate school broke up with me. It only happens when something deeply affects me.”

I was curious, despite myself. “Such as?”

“Look, I screwed up. I know that,” he replied. “I assumed something that…well, when I want to be…shit!” Landry was agitated now, rubbing his arms over and over.

I needed to calm him down if we were going to get to the bottom of this. I took a deep breath and sat on his couch. “Take your time and explain it to me.”

He sat beside me, his posture almost defeated. “I’m not perfect, as you know by now. I tend to go overboard with things sometimes, especially when I’m excited about something. I plough ahead, not asking but assuming that what I’m doing works for the other person.”

Landry ran a hand through his hair, leaving some of it sticking up like peacock feathers. “I liked what we were doing together on the roof, just the two of us. It was fabulous. But then I got this awesome idea—in my mind, anyway—that it would be even better to get more people involved, you know? Spread the love, ten times the fun. I’ve always been like that, and it gets me into trouble every time.”

He cleared his throat. “What I said to you wasn’t true. The accusations were really targeted at me. I always feel like I’m less than other people, so I have to do more to get their attention, to make them sit up and take notice.”

I was taken aback. “But you don’t need to do that at all. You’re a great musician, attractive, confident—”

“See, that’s what you don’t understand. It took me years to even like myself. I had a severe inferiority complex growing up. My parents helped me get therapy, and I still go to see someone from time to time. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see what everyone else says they see. I just see an ugly person, forever striving to be something he’ll never be. My dad told me that his grandmother was like that, too. It was so bad, she didn’t have mirrors in the house, and she almost took a knife to her face.”

Fuck me. This was messed up s**t.

“Jesus, Landry. I had no idea.” I felt so small right then.

“Why would you? It’s not like I go around advertising my issues. But the one constant in my life, the thing that’s never failed me and doesn’t care what I look like or whether I’m perfect, is music. I can always count on it take my fears away, to make me feel better.”

I sank back against the cushions. “I guess I can understand that.”

“I’m not excusing my behavior, Jimmy. But I wanted you to maybe get a little background as to why I might have reacted the way I did.”

I thought about what life must be like for someone with a challenge like that. I decided he was coping admirably well, despite it all. “You’re forgiven, Landry. But maybe you should avoid drinking completely. It really doesn’t do you any favors.”

“I know, and you’re right. Can I ask a question, though?” He pulled a leg under him and leaned back against the arm of the couch.

“Sure.”

“Why did you get so angry about me being drunk?”

It was my turn for confession. “First, let me apologize for the way I spoke to you that day. Thing is, I had a boyfriend who had a serious alcohol problem. It was a long time ago. He was ugly and abusive when drunk, and I had to call the cops a couple times to handle things. After I got a clue, I swore to myself that I’d never, ever get into a situation like that again.” I shrugged. “Your behavior brought back some bad memories, and I had a knee-jerk reaction.”

“Damn.” He shook his head. “I’m so, so sorry.

“You couldn’t have known, Landry, but now you do.” I got up, and he did, too. “Thanks for sharing something so personal with me. I have a better understanding of why things happened the way they did. Friends?” I asked and held out my hand.

His smile held relief. “Absolutely.” He pumped my hand, then followed me to the door. “Feel up to a mini jam session tomorrow night? Just us, promise.”

I thought about it for a second. “Okay, I guess I could do that.”

“Awesome.” He walked me to the door. “Thanks for listening, Jimmy.”

“Anytime.” On impulse, I leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Good night, Landry.”

He appeared bemused as he quietly wished me the same.