Apprentices: Third Quarter

Primal Fear

I’m so surprised to see him, that I slip my hand out of Marcus’s grip, then send him a traitorous apologetic look. He seems confused about my behavior, but he ignores it and smiles at Cyrus like they’re old pals. “Morning, Your Highness,” he tells him, leaving me in an internal cringe.

He sends my boyfriend a look that I read as a pointed one. Others would probably see it as a perfectly polite look, but I’ve seen politeness on Cyrus’s face, and this is definitely not it. “Good morning, young man … Evelyn,” he finally says, his voice showing nothing but respect. Am I the only one feeling awkward right now?

“Morning,” I finally say, trying to act completely normal and ignoring the fact that my mentor so kindly expressed his superb opinion of Marcus last night. What a fun way to start this already messed up day.

We all just stand there, glancing between one another and I can barely breathe with how thick the air is suddenly getting. Finally, I break the tense silence with taking a deep breath before turning to my mentor.

“What’s happening? Are there any news already? Did you find a way to get rid of the spell?” I send a flood of questions at Cyrus. I don’t even mean to ask him the same thing in three different ways. I’m just trying to divert his attention from Marcus. Because it’s not looking good to me.

Marcus stands beside me in silence, like he knows speaking up would be a mistake in this moment. I’ve always thought of him as a douchebag, who doesn’t catch on quickly, but the truth is, he’s smart. He’s too smart. And I’m afraid he’s already reading this situation way better than I’d want him to.

“Not much yet. We’re changing shifts, so the warriors that have been awake until now can get some sleep. I’m headed to the Residence … We’re going to need all the help we can get on this,” my mentor explains, his eyes focusing only on me for a moment.

“What are you saying?” I murmur, not even realizing that I’m holding my breath in. Is the situation really so grave, that he needs the rest of the Elite to help out as well? He blinks, glancing at Marcus in a way that makes me feel like the moment just burst in front of my eyes. Like a bubble.

“I’m saying that I can’t do this by myself. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m going to need my colleagues to join in on finding the solution,” he reveals as he turns his dark eyes back towards me, but this time with much more reserve.

I stare at him, not saying anything in response. But my mouth forms a silent ‘0h’, before I realize that we’re completely leaving Marcus out of the conversation. However, as I glance at him, I realize he’s not bothered at all. He stands beside me in a confident way, staring down at my mentor.

“Well, I won’t be keeping you two anymore. Have a nice Sunday,” Cyrus suddenly says, sending us both polite looks before turning around and marching away. I stare after him, completely shocked by his words. Have a nice Sunday? What the hell?

I only realize that my mouth is hanging open, when Marcus reaches out and grabs my jaw, gently pushing it back up. I smile up at him in embarrassment, trying to brush off the weird feeling that I just got. “Come. The library awaits. Exam week starts tomorrow, remember?” he murmurs, before pressing a lingering kiss on my lips.

But I don’t really feel it. My mind isn’t exactly with him at the moment, because I’m still too stunned about my mentor’s words. He knows how much I want to help. I gave in and went to bed last night, because he assured me that he’d deal with this. Now that I can clearly see that it’s out of his control, why doesn’t he let me help? I’m her daughter, I might know something helpful without even realizing it.

As Marcus pulls away, I decide to ignore my thoughts. I smile at him and nod. “Alright then. Let’s go through our last preparations while we still have the chance,” I speak up before he’s able to open his mouth. Because I can read in his eyes that he was about to say something. And I have no idea how I would answer the question about why my mentor seems to dislike him.

By lunch time, some students are already frantic. I mean, how wouldn’t they be? It’s way past noon and it’s still pitch black out there. But as the Elite walk into the cafeteria again, followed by the Lycan family and then even the Strigons, an eerie silence overtakes us all.

I lock eyes with my father, but he pretends like he didn’t notice me. I don’t know why, but I feel a tinge of hurt inside my chest. I haven’t spoken to him since I turned him down.

Honestly, I expected he wouldn’t just give up on me … But clearly, I wounded his pride so badly, that he won’t even look at me now. Great. And here I was, thinking we made progress after New Year.

I only listen to that Ahmose guy with half an ear, because I’m too busy wondering if my dad will ever stop acting like an immortal baby. One would’ve thought that he’d become a little more emotionally intelligent after living through a few centuries. But clearly, that’s not the case with him.

The fear is all around me. I can sense it in the air, much to my dismay. I haven’t opened myself up that much in a long time. If I close my eyes, I can almost taste it. It’s so raw and primal, connected only to the sheer need of self-preservation. The need to survive.

I try to open my eyes, but I can’t. I feel like I’m getting caught up in something that isn’t mine. Dozens of emotions are reaching out to me, each one trying to pull me into a different direction. They’re begging me to help them, and I start to panic. I don’t know how to help them!

I’m being tugged violently, like a doll that gets caught up in a fight between toddlers. Except that I’m not being tugged at by two toddlers. It feels like a hundred hands are trying to pull me apart. I try to get out, almost like I’m swimming out of an ocean of hands, but I just get dragged back down underneath the surface, begging for some air.

Suddenly, a strong grip on my shoulder pulls me back to reality and my eyes finally bolt open. Without even realizing it, they meet Cyrus’s, even if he’s standing on the other end of the cafeteria. His knowing gaze makes me realize that he knows something’s wrong. But I turn away, finding the face of the person, who brought me back to reality.

I detect the hand on my shoulder, letting my gaze travel up the arm, until I finally see the bluest of eyes, staring at me in a worried way. “Evelyn. Are you awake?” Marcus asks in a strange tone, making me respond in the most elegant way. Not.

“Huh?” I mumble, not knowing why he’d think I was asleep. He breathes out in relief, then lets his hand slide down my back.

“Your eyes were closed. It looked like you were having a nightmare, because you started twitching, but didn’t open your eyes. Well, we thought it was either that, or a seizure,” Dave explains, earning himself a patronizing look from Gabriel. “What? It’s not like I’m making it up!” he protests quietly, because the Elite are still speaking.

Suddenly, a girl behind Dave’s back turns around with an annoyed look on her face, pressing her finger to her lips as she hisses: “Shh! Some of us are trying to listen!” I almost mean to tell her that she just missed a few more words, because she wasted time to try silencing us. But the memory of those hands tugging me down is still too vivid in my mind.

“I’m okay … Thanks,” I finally tell Marcus, but he doesn’t seem convinced. I turn back around just as our leaders are finishing with their announcement and the attempt to calm the students down.

I notice my father’s gaze, glued on me, not looking away this time. I mean to offer him a small smile and wave, when I realize he seems worried too. Okay, just how many persons in here saw my little slip? I lost control only for a few moments … Right?

Like I’m looking for an answer, my eyes find Cyrus, only to realize he’s already staring at me with the same concerned look. He tilts his head in a questioning way, almost like he’s trying to ask me if I’m alright. I nod shortly, the movement barely visible, but he seems to catch it.

As I watch them all leave, I realize I don’t even know if we’re having today’s lesson or not. I mean, it’s clear that I need it. Because what the hell was this just now? Did I receive these signals because everyone’s emotions were so strong in the moment? Or is there another reason behind it?

I can barely focus later. We’re studying alone, once for change. No. Marcus is studying, I’m staring out of the window, trying to figure out how to get rid of this horrifying blackness that’s covering the entire Seminary. If I ever thought the library was quiet before, I was wrong. Because the silence is absolutely deafening today.

“Go,” Marcus suddenly says. At first, I think he’s talking to himself. Perking up motivation or something like that. But as he sighs, I realize he’s speaking to me. I turn towards him with a surprised look on my face.

“Oh, me? Go? Go where?” I wonder, observing the way his expression shifts from one emotion to another, before he finally breathes out in defeat, letting his pen drop to the middle of the open notebook in front of him. The ink splutters across the perfectly white page, the tiny spots suddenly drawing me in.

“Go help outside. Being in here is killing you. I can tell that,” he explains, making my gaze shoot up from the ruined paper in surprise. I search his eyes for a further explanation, like I’m trying to find reason in his words. But I don’t.

“I’m fine. I … I wasn’t invited to be out there,” I finally tell him slowly, hoping that he’ll understand what I’m saying and not bore into me with more questions. He sighs, leaning in closer. The tiny desk between us suddenly seems much too big. It’s in the way. I want him close, and I don’t want any space left between us.

“Evelyn. You want to help. I know you well enough to be able to see that. I won’t be mad if you leave me here to study by myself,” he assures me, but I throw my hands up in frustration, shaking my head.

“No. I’m not leaving your side. Period. Besides, my mentor would murder me if I dared to show my face down there without anyone to protect me on the way,” I mumble into my chin, hearing a most welcome sound on this gloomy day.

Marcus chuckles at my words, reaching out with his hand. I grab it without a second thought, feeling completely tiny and powerless as his big palm envelops me. “Really? He’s that overprotective? I wouldn’t attribute it to him,” he whispers, making my eyes widen. He’s already giving my mentor way too much thought. That’s not a good sign. “Relax, I’m not jealous. It’s just an observation,” he then adds as he sees the look on my face.

I let out the breath that I didn’t realize I was holding in, feeling relief overtake me. “Sorry. It’s what I’ve been used to with … You know,” I explain in a quiet tone, not wanting to stain our conversation by saying Jake’s name out loud.

Marcus offers me a half smile. “I know,” he reassures me. In the next moment, he closes his notebook with the pen still in it, and starts putting away his stuff. I watch him in confusion.

“Are you going somewhere?” I can’t help but wonder, making that smile widen. He glances up at me for just a moment, before returning his focus to packing up his things.

“We both are. I’ll make sure your mentor won’t be able to scold you at least about one thing,” he begins, only looking up at me again as he zips his bag. “You won’t come down there unprotected.”