The Secrets Behind the Mask

Chapter 8 - Uncertainty

I can’t be mistaken. That’s…the same scent I smelled on my bed before in my room in Tokyo. The same perfume that Nishimoto used.

My feet were glued in the middle of that pedestrian lane, and my whole body was paralyzed at that sudden realization. I felt like cold water was poured onto my body that my hands and feet felt numb, and even though the weather’s temperature during that time was low, I felt sweats formed on my back. At that time, I could not feel nor see anything that was happening around me. I was just focusing on the other people in that place near me who might be…Nishimoto.

Is he…here? I thought to myself as my eyes looked at everyone around me, wearing a horrified expression on my face. My gaze shifted from left to right repeatedly, carefully observing every people that caught my attention and who looked suspicious. Where? Where is he?

I did not know how long I had been standing there, lost in my own thoughts when suddenly, I felt someone held both my shoulders tightly and forced me to face them. Mika’s confused and worried face filled my vision, and I noticed that her lips were moving as she was saying something, but I could not hear any of her words. Maybe Mika realized that I was not in the right mind to comprehend what she was saying, so she forcefully shook my body twice.

The harsh movement made unto my body snapped me and awakened all of my senses. It was only at that time when I remembered why I was there and that we were standing in the middle of the road. I looked around me, confused about what was happening, then I saw that the traffic light had already turned red and cars were passing by us on our sides.

“Hey!” Mika called, giving my body another shake. I slowly turned at her and saw her worried expression, with eyebrows furrowed together. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” She asked in a low yet hurried tone.

I stared at her for a while, not knowing what to respond, then looked back again to try searching for Nishimoto. I did not find him anywhere in that place, but I was so sure that it was the same perfume he used. I knew there was a great possibility that it was not him…that, other people might also like using that same perfume. But it really did shock me to my core.

“Annika, please. Answer me.” Mika pleaded, which made me look back at her. She looked so confused. “What happened?”

“…I…I’m sorry.” I apologized in a low tone, almost like a whisper. “I’m sorry, I just thought…I just thought that I saw someone I knew.”

“Someone you knew?” Mika repeated, then she also looked behind me and searched for whom I was talking about. “Who? Do you want to search for him o–”

“No.” I interrupted while shaking my head. “No. I mean, it’s okay. It’s not…that important.”

The lines between Mika’s eyebrows deepened. “Not important? You stood here like you lost all your senses, looking scared and confused. But you’re telling me that it’s not important?” She asked, emphasizing her point. “Do you know how long you’ve been spacing out?”

I bit my lip as I tried to squeeze my mind to come up with an answer. I cannot lie to Mika because she will find it out easily. “I-I mean, it’s an important matter, but I do not want to deal with it right now. I was just shocked and,” I paused for a while, then shrugged my shoulders before continuing. “I don’t know, maybe I’m mistaken, and it was not really that person. I mean…it’s impossible.”

Impossible? I contemplated. Is it really impossible for Nishimoto to be here of all places? Is it really impossible for Nishimoto to be able to find me? My head throbbed in pain due to the thoughts rushing in my mind, and I felt lightheaded that I cannot focus. I did not know what to do anymore.

There was a long silence between us while Mika kept her eyes on me. I could tell that there were so many questions that she wanted to ask, but she also wanted to respect my space and privacy. Mika was not the type to butt into other people’s business. She would ask questions but would not really pry on the matter. Mika would gladly listen if I willingly open up to her. But she would also understand and give me time if I chose to not let her in whatever was bothering me.

“Okay,” Mika nodded in understanding, and her expression became calm. “But are you good to go? We can go back to your house if that’s what you want. We’ll just order something online and have it delivered to us.”

“I’m fine. We can go there.” I assured her. She did not respond immediately but nodded after a short while.

“Okay, let’s go.”

As soon as the signal light for crossing the road turned green, Mika and I continued walking towards the café. On our way, Mika walked beside me and matched my pace, making sure that I was fine, and in case whatever happened to me before occurred again, she would be there and notice it easily.

 I, on the other hand, was more conscious of everything around me and alert than before. My guard the whole time was up, and I could not help but to anxiously look around us. Mika noticed it too, but she let me anyway, without bringing it up and prying on the matter, which I was grateful for.

Mika opened the door of the café when we got there and let me in first, then we headed to the table on the back of the shop, where I sat before. That spot was the perfect place to stay, especially now that I was not feeling like myself. I wanted space and distance from everyone for a while to help me think rationally about everything that had occurred.

“What do you want to eat?” Mika lowly asked without looking at me as soon as we took our seat, then she picked up the menu from the table. “Their chocolate mocha cake is good. You might want to try it.”

I looked at her for a while. “…Okay, I’ll try that, and I’ll also have their tiramisu. For the drinks, I want…whatever you will have.”

Mika peaked at me from the menu that she was holding. “I’ll have tea.” She deadpanned, which made my eyebrows twitched. She wanted to confirm if I was sure about what I said because she knew well that I did not like drinking tea.

“I’ll just have a mocha latte.”

“Okay. Not coffee?”

“I had my coffee this morning,” I answered. Mika nodded in her response and raised a hand in the air for the café’s staff to take her order. She was the one who told the staff our order while I, on the other hand, remained my head low with my eyes closed.

I tried remembering what happened a while ago and played it in my mind repeatedly. But no matter how many times I thought about it, I still ended up with the same thoughts that the person whom I encountered a while ago was Nishimoto. I was not sure if I was being paranoid or I just felt that way because of the fear that was lingering in my system. Or just because…I saw his face a while ago on the television.

There’s a possibility that it was him, because according to the news, he’s still here in Japan. However, he might not be hiding like what the Police Officer said in his interview. Nishimoto might be…there’s a possibility that he’s trying to find me too, another thought swirled in my head. But at the same time, there’s also a great chance that it was not him and that what happened was only a pure coincidence. Having the same perfume is not solid proof.

I felt myself suffocating as I tried to weigh all the possibilities in my head, and I found myself drowning in thoughts when suddenly, Mika’s voice filled my ears which brought me back to my senses.

“Don’t forget to return the book.” She said in a calm tone. I looked up at her and saw her staring at me with concern and worry in her eyes. “That’s the reason why I brought you here with me today.”

I slowly nodded. “Hm. I’ll return it when our order came.”

There was a long and deafening silence between us after our last conversation. Mika focused her attention on her phone while I remained still in my seat, still thinking about everything. I honestly wanted to ask Mika’s opinion about this matter, but I was afraid that I might end up telling her everything. I did not want her to get involved – the lesser she knew, the safer she would be.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm the raging thoughts in my head as I stared at the glass of water on the table that the staff gave us a while ago. From that glass of water, I could see my own reflection, including the distressed expression I was wearing on my face. I reached for the glass and took a few sips from it to at least ease my dried throat.

I put the glass back on the table, and my thumb caressed it repeatedly as I turned my head on my side, watching and observing other people inside that café. But in case…my thoughts started again. In case it was really Nishimoto, what should I do? I don’t think I’m ready to face him again. And if he really came here to look for me, then am I prepared for whatever wicked things he has planned for me?

Will I…be able to survive his trap for the second time? Will I…have another chance to live again?

My mind was so occupied with negative thoughts that I did not notice that Mika was already talking to someone. I just suddenly heard her voice and when I turned at her, I saw someone standing near our table from my peripheral vision. It was not one of the staff as she was not wearing the same uniform that they had. At first, I thought it was Mika’s friend or classmate. But when I looked up, I saw a familiar face.

“Hi, Annika.” Naoko, our new neighbor who lived next to my house, greeted me with a wide and bright smile. “It’s nice to see you here.”

I looked at Mika, who was also staring at me. Mika and I had talked about Naoko before, and I found out that we felt the same thing towards Naoko. Mika told me that she could not explain it too and that she something was odd about Naoko. Mika said that she did not want to judge her because maybe, Naoko has a reason for her actions. Then she added that for her, it was okay to talk to Naoko as long as she is not doing any harm to anyone.

I looked back at Naoko, who was patiently waiting for my response, and I forced a small smile on my face. I was not really in the mood to put up a façade as I already felt worst from what had happened to me today, but I did not think that it was right to get Naoko involved too with the mood that I was in, especially that she had nothing to do with it.

“Hi. It’s nice to see you too here.” I greeted back.

Naoko giggled. “My friend and I were passing by and decided to try their new dessert. Their desserts are the best!” She exclaimed while smiling from ear to ear. “How about you, guys?” She asked, looking between Mika and me.

“We decided to have breakfast here,” Mika answered while wearing a small smile and a neutral expression.

“Oh, I see. Maybe we can go here together sometimes.” Naoko invited.

Mika shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t mind, as long as I have the time to do so.”

“That’s great! How about you, Annika?” Naoko excitedly asked.

I stared at her for a while and carefully contemplated on what would I respond to her. I did not like going out with someone I was not comfortable with, and if I had a choice, I would decline her offer. But Japanese people are sensitive when it comes to rejection, and I did not want to make Naoko feel bad. Maybe I was taking too long to respond that Mika decided to answer for me.

“Sure, Annika will come with us. I’ll bring her along.” Mika butted in that made me turned at her. I was honestly okay with it as long as Mika was with me. But if I would be going here alone with Naoko, that was a different story, and I would definitely decline.

“Yeah, I’ll tag along.” I finally responded.

Naoko sweetly smiled. “I’m excited to go here next time with you guys. By the way, have you tried their new dessert?”

“No, I haven’t,” I responded.

“I see. You guys should try it,” she persuaded. “I heard that the owner of this shop is the one who prepares the recipes and ingredients. Sometimes, he’s also helping in making them.”

“Really? That’s…great.” I answered, trying to make my voice sound as cheerful as possible.

“Right? Have you met him? The owner of this shop, I mean.” Naoko asked while clasping her hands together in front of her. Her eyes were shining in admiration.

My eyebrows slightly furrowed in confusion because, Why would I want to meet the owner of this shop? I thought to myself then I shook my head in response. “No, I haven’t. The first time I visited this café was just last week, and I…did not get the chance to see him. But, have you?” I asked. I was not really interested in that matter, but I did not want to ignore Naoko – that would be rude.

“I met him once, and he’s a great man. He’s so good at making desserts, and I admire him. His name is K– ” Naoko did not manage to finish her words when another woman walked towards us and called her name. She turned at that person, then back at us. “Oh, I’m sorry, we have to leave. Let’s talk again next time.”

“Sure, take care,” Mika said while I, on the other hand, just nodded in response while wearing a forced smile. We watched as Naoko and her friend walked away from our table, and when we were sure that she was already far enough from us, I looked at Mika.

“I won’t come with her without you,” I said, and Mika smiled sincerely.

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you make up excuses.” Mika volunteered. “I know you wanted to decline her offer earlier, but at the same time, you did not want to be rude to her. That’s just how nice you are,” she added. Sometimes, it fascinated me how good Mika is when it comes to reading other people’s thoughts, and it amazed me how she already knew many things about me even though we just met a few months ago.

“Make up an excuse that is not too rude and obvious.”

Mika chuckled. “I already know that.”

Right at that same time, we noticed that the staff who got our order a while ago was already walking towards our table with our orders in her hand. The woman was smiling gently at us, then she stopped and put the plates on the table.

“Here are your orders.” She said as she put each plate one by one in front of us.

Mika ordered the same desserts as mine with a Chai tea as her drink; the tea is known as a perfect match for chocolate desserts. I looked at all the plates in front of us, and I admit they all looked really delicious. If I was not having a bad day, I probably was already digging in it without any hesitations. But what happened today somehow affected my appetite too.

“Please enjoy.” The woman said and was about to leave when I suddenly remembered about the book that I needed to return.

“Ah, please wait,” I said as I hurriedly pulled out the book from my shoulder bag. I stood up from my seat and handed it to the woman while lowering my head. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to bring this book home with me last week. I was about to return it when I realized what I had done, but the shop was already closed.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Our boss said that it was fine.” The woman replied.

My eyes slowly looked up at the woman and stared at her with confusion. She was smiling sincerely that even I could tell that she was telling the truth. However, the confusion I felt turned into embarrassment when a thought came into my mind. Wait. Does that mean their boss saw what I did that day?

I felt my blood went up to my head, but I still tried to remain calm to ask her about it. “Um…What do you mean?”

“Ah, our boss loved that book too, and he always read it. We told him last week that it was missing, but he said that it was fine and that whoever got it can have it.”

“No, no. I did not intentionally bring it home with me. I was in a hurry and did not realize that I put it inside my bag that day.” I explained.

The woman widely smiled. “Yes, he also knew about that. He said that it was fine and that you can have it.”

My eyes blinked once, then twice as I stared at the woman for a moment, still dumbfounded by what she said. So their boss really saw me that day? I thought to myself. That’s…that’s so embarrassing!

“I…I’m really sorry. I did not mean it.” I apologized again. “Is there…anything I can do in exchange for what I did?”

“About that, our boss told us that if you ever asked for something in exchange, he instructed us to tell you that he will be happy if you will visit our café more often.”