Bipolar Attractions

26z

How long did I think it would last?

How long did I think I could control myself before I finally succumbed to Romeo

How long did I think I could resist the wants of my body?

I may have before, but not anymore, as every hair and cell in my body rises just at the words of Romeo. I stare at him not able to say a single word, especially when he closes the proximity between us, such that I begin to feel his breath against my face. 

“Give me the go ahead Aurora, because I can’t touch you unless you want me to. I won’t touch you, unless you tell me to.” Romeo’s voice becoming husky and seductive that I let in a huge gulp down my throat. “What are you so afraid of?” Romeo continues to stare into my eyes, watching every movement of mine while I remain silent and unable to talk. 

Yes Laura, what are you so sacred of? 

You say it’s just an attraction which could go in your favor, yet, you keep hindering yourself. 

What are you so scared of Laura!

“I can’t Romeo, I can’t…” 

“Tell me you don’t also feel the same way, and I promise not to bring this up again. Tell me you don’t want me, because Aurora I don’t confess my wants to just anybody. Tell me what you want?” Romeo Asks me.

I f*****g want you Romeo king!

I want to f**k the living daylights out of you. I want to feel you pump hard and deep inside me. I want to scream your name while my nails dig inside my back, but a part of me is scared, scared of something that even I do not know.

“I can’t Romeo. I’m sorry.” My words exit my words, as I watch Romeo’s gaze fall and stare at me in perplexity, but I don’t give him the benefit to speak anymore as I turn my back and walk into my car, before leaving a standing Romeo outside.

My breath heavies, my mind restless, my body burning with crave and lust for Romeo, yet my actions differ and say otherwise. Romeo is bad news to which I know, a certainty I knew before agreeing to such an assignment. 

Though it doesn’t matter to how I get Romeo behind bars, either I sleep with him or not that is my choice, and I dearly want to, but I can’t help but feel my want will only increases after I have a taste of Romeo. 

Hell, I crave his eyes on me, not to talk of what his mouth can do on my body.

The loud horn from a car behind me gets me snapped out of my thoughts, as i find the traffic  Lights on a green. I pick back my pace with my car, knowing fully well I might not make it back home with Romeo on my mind if I continue to think about him, for that I need a distraction.

A s****l distraction. 

“Fuck.” My hands slam the steering wheel as I feel out of composure and control, and sexually deprived. I think about calling John, but I can’t do that, because of how our last conversation went through, and now that I do think about it, I begin to feel awful at the fact that I made such a statement, as though I do not care about his feelings.

But what was I supposed to do? John is clearly propounding a love interest to me, when he is clearly aware of what we agreed on before we began what it is with began. So how was I supposed to tell him other than that, that he is wrong to feel such way.

But is it actually wrong?

“f**k! f**k! f**k!” I hit my steering continuously as I take that as my cue to park my car, to avoid an accident and think clearly, while body still rises in high demand of wanting an o****m from one person only. 

Romeo king. 

Yes, John and I didn’t end things yet, but I can’t go to him, because even I feel awful of taking my cravings done by another man to be repaired by another, and in this case I believe what happened last time might repeat itself and John will still not be able to please me. 

And what kind of person goes back for just lust after the feelings of the heart, have just been confessed. 

How can the thoughts of one man drive me insane to this extent?

How can the lust of one man, stir my body into a high f*****g s*x drive?

Asking myself such questions begin to make me feel guilty, as the only man whom has ever made me feel this way and high was Ryan. Thinking of him begins to bring back old memories and the future we could have had. The future that was cut short from us. 

Ryan was the only man who drove me insane in my feelings, the only man who knew how to deal with both side of me. The only man whom took out the bad behaviors from me and once he was gone it all came rushing back, because no one could keep me in check. 

A laugh escapes my lips lightly, as I remember how much I cursed a lot in every statement I made in the past, as growing up it wasn’t so easy, but Ryan saw me, didn’t try to change me but helped me get better to be decent, and here I am slowing returning to my old ways.

A sigh escapes my lips, knowing that my situation is not going to solve itself and thinking about the past won’t solve a thing, so I option for the only way I see fit. 

I pick out my phone, dialing the recent number that came into my contact list today, as I hear it ring for some minutes before she picks up.

“Hello Vera, it’s Aurora.”