The Why Behind What We Feel

Chapter 12- Run Away

When Aspen and I walk into Grandma's room, she grins ear to ear, clasping her hands together and letting out a giddy laugh. "You must be Aspen."

"Yes ma'am," he smiles, extending his hand to shake hers.

He's quite surprised when she pulls him down for a hug instead. "I've heard so much about you."

Aspen gives me a look, his cheeks blushing. "Really?"

"To hear her talk, you hung the moon!" she laughs.

"Okay grandma," I smile nervously.

"That's funny, I feel the same way about her," he chuckles, looking to me. "She's been a really good friend since we've met each other."

"So I've heard. She tells me you've asked her to be your date to a big formal tonight."

He clears his throat, adjusting the collar of his t-shirt. "Yes ma'am. If that's okay with you, of course. If she's needed here, I will completely understand."

"As long as you watch out for her and keep her safe, I'm happy to see my Sessy have some fun. She deserves it," Grandma says, squeezing my hand.

"I couldn't agree more," Aspen says. "I promise to keep her safe and make sure she has a good time."

"Don't forget to send me pictures. You know I love it when you get all dressed up," grandma says, looking up at me with loving eyes, smiling brightly.

"I'll get some pictures for you, don't worry," I chuckle.

"So what time is this dance?" Grandma asks.

Aspen looks down at his watch. "Uh...in about two hours."

"What?!" I gasp. "It's already six?!"

"Almost," he shrugs.

"Then you better get out of here and start getting ready!" Grandma tells me. "Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine. I'll be looking forward to hearing all about it tomorrow."

"Are you sure you'll be okay? I don't mind staying here if-"

"Go on! Get! You need to be getting ready!" Grandma says, shooing me out of the room. "You two have a fun time, and don't forget my pictures!"

After we leave the hospital, I drive Aspen and I back to our apartment building. I've got less than two hours to get ready, when I was so sure that even six hours wouldn't have been enough. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my hair with so little time, so I'm not setting my expectations too high. With all that's happened lately, it's a miracle I'm even going. These people are going to get whatever version of Cecily they get.

"I guess I'll see you soon," Aspen says as he walks me to my door.

"See you soon," I smirk at him before going inside.

I gasp when I walk through the door and see Lizzy and Mary sitting in the living room together.

"Hey Sess! I know we're crunched for time, so I'm going to do your makeup while Mary does your hair," Lizzy says excitedly, already decked out in her full hair and makeup for the formal.

She looks so good, I'm almost speechless. Her red hair looks full and frames her face perfectly. Mary isn't dressed for the formal, but she's smiling, and considering what I know about her, that's a good thing.

"So you can do hair?" I ask Mary when Lizzy takes my hand and drags me behind her.

"Actually, yes. My mom was is a stylist. I grew up watching her and learned a thing or two myself," Mary answers.

Lizzy leads me into my bathroom where everything is already set up and ready to go. She gets started priming my face while Mary starts combing through my hair.

"Liz, I can't thank you enough for helping out my grandmother. She'll be able to return home now, thanks to you."

"Not just thanks to me. A lot of us helped," she says. "I paid the water bill, but Aspen got the money up for a new AC unit and he and Drake installed it themselves."

"A new AC unit? You mean, they didn't fix the old one?" I ask.

"It was shot," Mary answers. "Aspen told the group what was going on and Walker, Oakley and I wanted to help. We remembered you mentioning...your grandmother was your only family."

"So you paid for a new AC unit? You guys didn't have to do that! I mean, I'm very thankful you did, but now I feel like I have to-"

"You don't owe anyone anything," Lizzy says quickly. "Like Mary said, everyone wanted to help. But if you really want to thank someone in particular, thank Aspen. As soon as I told him what was going on, he sprang into action."

"Yeah, he called us up and banded everyone together within minutes," Mary adds.

"Even this," Lizzy chuckles, motioning between herself and Mary. "I just knew you weren't coming tonight, but when Drake called me and said you were, we knew we had to make this as special as possible for you."

I start to tear up at their kindness, but Lizzy gives me a stern look. "Don't you dare cry and mess up this perfect makeup."

"Yes ma'am," I chuckle.

After I'm glammed up, I take a good look at myself in the full length mirror that hangs on the back of my closet door. This dress, the hair and makeup, Lizzy's diamond studded heels she lent me for the night...it all ties together so perfectly. I've never felt more beautiful and I've never been more excited.

Lizzy and I head down to street where Drake and Aspen have a limo waiting for us. My heart pounds in anticipation.

I'm actually doing this.

I'm going to have a real deal college experience one last time before saying goodbye to these people, possibly forever.

Aspen walks around the limo grinning ear to ear, but when he sees me, he stops in his tracks and his mouth drops open.

At first, I'm worried maybe I look like a bright yellow Easter egg and he's searching his brain for something to say that sounds nice.

But then he places his hand over his chest and sucks in a breath through his teeth. "Wow, Sessy...you look..."

"Like a queen?" Lizzy finishes for him, smirking at me.

"You're absolutely gorgeous," he says when I stop in front of him.

I smile, flattered by his compliment. "Thank you. It's amazing what talented friends can do for you at the last minute."

He smiles, reaching for my hand. "You look beautiful tonight, but you always look beautiful to me."

My heart sputters out of control at his words. I've never had a man tell me that and actually mean it. Not that I need a man's validation, but I have to admit, it truly makes me feel validated for someone like Aspen to find someone like me attractive. And not just attractive tonight, but always.

Drake and Aspen help Lizzy and I into the limo and we start for the Sigma house. It's only about fifteen minutes away, but Drake instructed our driver to take his time so we can break out the bubbly. Lizzy starts handing out champagne glasses and Drake starts pouring.

"None for me," Aspen says, holding up his hand when Lizzy offers him a glass.

"Really?" she asks, furrowing his brows. "Do you not like champagne or something?"

"Not really," he shrugs.

"Fine, more for us," she says, pouring me a glass.

I definitely need a little liquid courage tonight. I'm out of my comfort zone and I desperately need something to calm the nerves a bit. I want to remember this night, so I won't get drunk, but I will get tipsy.

"Here's to Sessy!" Lizzy grins, holding her glass in the air. "May her last college experience be one she never forgets!"

"To Sessy!" Aspen cheers, smirking at me.

"Why are we toasting to me? You guys are the real MVP's," I remind them, tapping my glass to theirs. "Thank you so much for making tonight possible."

"To our last Saturday night together in the Big Easy!" Drake cheers, all of us clinging our champagne glasses together.

Wow. I haven't given myself time to think about it, given all that's happened in the past couple of days, but I'm really going to miss this. I'm suddenly wishing I had spent more time with Lizzy. She's a party girl and that's not really my thing, but Lizzy has done plenty of things with me that probably weren't her thing. As different as we are, we became best friends over the years. More like sisters.

And I'm going to miss her so incredibly much when she leaves in a few days.

When we arrive at the Sigma House, I'm not nearly as nervous as I was before. I confidently get out of the limo, hold my head up high and strut my stuff all the way to the front door....

....where my heel gets stuck in the tile on the front porch, sending me crashing to the ground, face first.

"Oh my goodness, Sessy!" Lizzy cries.

Aspen swoops down and picks me up to my feet, checking me over for injuries. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I laugh. "Haven't worn heels in a few years, but no big deal."

He smiles. "I don't think many people saw it."

"Nope, just us, I think," Lizzy says, looking around and looping her arm with Drake's. "Let's go have some fun, guys!"

Aspen and I follow them into the main room where most of the guests have congregated. While Lizzy and Drake start dancing, Aspen pulls me away to the corner of the room.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks me again, as if he expects me to break down into tears now that he's got me off into a corner alone with him.

"I'm fine, I promise," I reply, giving him what I hope is a reassuring smile. "I don't know how much longer I can make it in these heels though."

"So take them off," he shrugs.

I chuckle at first, thinking he's joking. But when I realize he's being serious, my smile quickly fades. "I can't just go barefoot at a formal event."

"Who says? There are no rules against it."

"It's basic etiquette," I scoff.

He smiles.

"What?" I ask.

"You're so adorable."

"Um, thank you?" I reply, not really sure how to take his compliment. Is he being flirty? Or was that friendly? I tell Lizzy she's adorable all the time and it doesn't necessarily mean I'm secretly in love with her or anything.

"Who cares what anyone here thinks? If your shoes are keeping you from having a good time, then you should take them off," he goes on. "Do you want me to take my shoes off too?"

"No, no. No need for that," I laugh. "You're right, I shouldn't care what anyone here thinks of me. These shoes hurt and they're keeping me from having a good time, which is what I came here to do."

"Exactly," he grins excitedly.

I take my heels off and Aspen takes them from me, holding them in his left hand and putting his right hand on the small of my back, gently guiding me towards our friends.

"Sessy! Come dance with me!" Lizzy calls out, grabbing my arm.

I look up at Aspen and he smiles. "It's okay. Your shoes are safe with me."

Aspen brings both Lizzy and I a drink and we dance like idiots for what feels like forever. It's been such a long time since I've allowed myself to be so carefree. But it's been a good day. My grandmother is fine. My friends came through for me and now, I don't have to worry about what I'm going to do. At least, for now I don't.

Come August, when it's time for me to move to Baltimore, will I be able to do it? Won't I always be worrying about her? She didn't tell me her COPD had gotten worse. She didn't tell me she was having money problems. If I move away, would she even tell me if she needed me?

Probably not. That woman is as headstrong as they come.

I can't let that bother me tonight though. I have no idea what I'm gonna do, but I don't have to figure it out tonight. No matter what happens in the coming months, Lizzy is still leaving New Orleans in a few days. Aspen probably won't stick around for long. My two favorite people won't be a daily fixture in my life for much longer.

So I dance like no one is watching, quite literally. Only hundreds of people are watching. Instead of laughing at me, like normal people, they just start to join in. People I've only seen a few times in passing, and people I've never seen before in my life, join Lizzy and I on the dance floor and we all lose our minds.

Most everyone here is drunk or tipsy. No one cares what anyone else thinks. It's our last weekend of college. It's a celebration.

When I feel a bead of sweat drip down my neck, I decide it's time to take a break. I push my way through the crowds of people looking for the nearest bathroom.

That's when I see Aspen and some blonde chick in the hallway, alone. She's so close to him, she may as well just climb inside his body.

I pause for a moment, not quite sure what to do. I shouldn't be upset that he's talking to someone else, and still holding my damn shoes in his hand. He's not my man. He's just my friend.

So why do I want to run away so badly?