THE FORBIDDEN STEP-SIBLING AFFAIR

Chapter 5: Love, lust or Desire?

Ethan

Until the boys burst into a rumbling laughter running back to drag me away I had my eyes still glued on her, struggling to catch my next breath and exhale normally while at the same time trying to decipher what on earth was going on with me. But what I could tell was the fact that she was giving me short term arrhythmia and I had a bad feeling it was going to be a normal occasion every time we met. There was that involuntary desire to just grab her waist and force her body on mine, smell her neck and let her arms around mine, kiss her to breathlessness as though no one was watching and we were just the two of us on the planet. Posses her.

"Dude, what the f**k?" Douglas was the first one to confront me. He was the son of the local mayor. His family was rich as Croesus and well connected to both the political and business class.

"She is definitely not your type but you should have seen the lust in his eyes" Teased victor, we called him Vic and his family were among the most well-off in the city owning a fleet of exquisite factories and commercial buildings all across the CBD.

"Some help here my guy?" It was my turn to beg the last member of the pack for support, to even the odds. Jake, a footballer like me and his father was on the board. No one really knew what he did but he traveled a lot and owned a private jet. Jake was the least talkative of the group and also the sensible one.

"They are right. She is definitely not your type" and on the day I counted on him to come to my rescue he let me down.

"What do you mean she is not my type? Since when do you guys know my type?"

"Someone remind this good-looking asshole that we've been friends since the fourth grade" Doug wasn't going easy on me.

"Personally, I think she is too good for you, we both know you're just another popular-rich boy looking for a c*m suck" Vic made it worse. For the first time in my playboy s*x life I actually felt bad about my previous break-ups and relationships that ended after s*x. Whether terrible or good s*x they just ended and that was probably because I never made the effort to make it work and none of them made me feel like Ivy was doing.

"You good man? We going hard on you or something? You're a man you can take it can't ya?" Jake finally came back to his senses.

"Don't even try to defend him. Look at her" Vic made us all stop and look in their direction, they had not gone far, "She is no model or s**t, but she is beautiful even without trying. Not to mention she is a student leader and religious, not active on the gram like his hoes seeking validation and trying to force us into their lives in the name of trying to be happy, definitely not doing drugs or alcohol focused and probably ready to date for marriage. A long-term thing which am sure is not synonymous with you"

"Are you trying to say my man here can't change and meet all that?" Asked Jake. I was just following the entire thing silently as though it wasn't me they were talking about.

"Not now, not ever. Ethan is a life of the party. He gets a girl like that we lose him, it won't work and I don't know about you guys but she doesn't look like someone who should be crying" Doug put the icing on the cake before they served me. Remind me why we were friends again?

As we resumed our stroll I called for an emergency meeting...all in my head. You know what they say, show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are. Everything they said about me and her being two different people was entirely true. But that didn't change that gut feeling that perhaps she was my shot at something greater, some sort of clean slate. Another version, a better version of Ethan that my friends and everyone around me was yet to meet. They were also right about change, it's among the only two certainties in life, the other one is death. But if changing to her dream guy was all it was going to cost then I was more than ready and willing to change for her. Love is about Compromise and sacrifice.

"Are you still thinking about that girl?" Jake finally noticed my lack of activity and attention in the discussion. We took one of the unoccupied benches in the middle of cool, beautiful school gardens surrounded by oaks and maple trees, flowers. There was a water fountain made from a statue of an octopus in the middle of the garden. Thank God Doug and Vic went ahead to grab who knows what from the canteen giving Jake and I some time to talk.

"Not really, you know me"

"Bad liar. You give it a try man. If that's what your heart really wants. You're Ethan, no girl says no to you"

"Are you sure about that?"

"You want my honest opinion?"

"Good friends will tell you the truth, Great friends will always tell you the truth no matter how hard it is to swallow"

"Then am the great friend. She looks principled and focused, your reputation and girls on the other hand is wanting. So, expect her to say no as much as she might be willing to flirt with you"

Now that was a knife through the heart. It's a good thing dad had prepared me well earlier that morning.

"Okay, brutally honest"

"Great friends, your words not mine"

"I don't regret it if that's what you're thinking"

"I know. You can win her over. Just don't be Ethan Watson"

The look on my face screamed "elaborate" and he caught it.

"Be what she is lacking. That means find out what she is lacking, it's not going to be easy though"

"Got you losers some milk shakes" Vic announced his arrival cutting short our valuable conservation. Jake's words of wisdom were however stuck at the back of my mind. I just had to put them into perspective.

A little help here what on earth was she lacking? A friend, she had that garrulous side-kick, her best friend. That one I could tell from my little stalking mission. She had beauty, not that I could do anything about it if she didn't, she was brave, famous to some extent and smarter than me. It was going to be a herculean task finding out what she was lacking but that didn't mean it was impossible. Love has to be worked for.

****

Ivy

As usual every time we interacted...twice so far...but you get the point. He left me in a dream world where I was stuck from mid-morning to lunchtime. A world inside my head where everything was possible and there were multiple possibilities eligible for my manipulation, where happiness was a guarantee and my mother was not an impediment to what could be my future. Just a few talking points from our short meeting, it turns out he wasn't avoiding me and that kiss was good for him what could I say? Perhaps it was time to take Ophelia's advice and let love in, Time to start feeling I deserved more than what was available. Easier said than done, mum and her unveiling relationship was still a puzzle, a conundrum. The real world was not that friendly, reality was too harsh and I needed fantasy to survive. My fantasy was on the way.

"These eggs look terrible" Speaking of the devil, she showed up at our usual table, "Have you noticed everyone is kind of looking at you, those evasive glances?"

"Am I growing a tail or something?"

"Enough of the jokes. You know why. In this school, walls have ears"

"I know, they are probably talking about me being Ethan’s next new shiny toy. Except that am not that shiny"

"Half of this people won't recognize you if you wear some make-up"

"No to that suggestion. You of all people know it's not true and possible"

No surprise she was busy munching through a mouthful of the same eggs she called terrible, neither was she sparing the lentils.

"But you said you don't like him whatsoever"

"Not even one bit" trust me it hurt to say that out loud, my belly churned and acid leaked from my intestinal walls.

"Then you shouldn't even think of a possibility you two being together. Unless it's a fling kind of thing"

"You know I don't do flings"

Who would want only a taste of heaven? I think I speak for everyone when I say we would rather be landlords in heaven than tenants. Because tenants even if you can afford rent you'll still leave right?

"You don't do love either, though am sure you can't be a virgin. But there is a first time for everything"

"Before I make it clear on fling thing, did you say..."

"You can't be a virgin?" She interrupted rather loudly, there was a pin drop with dozens of eyes staring in our direction.

The perpetrator was almost choking on food in her mouth while I pretended like I had never seen her in my life and she wasn't talking about me. As much as being a unicorn bait was a personal achievement, something to be proud of, at Hunt academy it was rather shameful and I must say even in our generation it didn’t get the respect it had back then. The attention shifted from us back to eating and gossip among the girls, boys were talking whatever boys talked about but I'm sure it was ninety percent something to do with s*x, a pinch of sports, drugs and zero point something percent academics.

"I think of strangling you at least twice a day" I whispered at her.

"Sorry, chewing kind of makes me think am whispering when am talking on top of my lungs"

"And I thought you're good at multitasking"

"Not always. You're not..."

"I'm not discussing my s*x life with you"

"Says the nun, do you even think about s*x?"

"Can we not talk about s*x here?"

"Okay" she said following me to the kitchen, "Can you even give a blow job" she whispered in my ear and somehow it sounded funny and gross at the same time.

"f**k you"

"No, you need to know these things if you're going to last any longer with Ethan"

"I'm not interested in a fling or anything with him"

"You can lie to anyone but not me"

We went ahead and grabbed an apple on our way outside. After lunch there was a twenty-minute break before classes resumed and we used the time to just sit, gossip and relax in the vast Hunt academy compound.

"Therapist, annoying best friend, love doctor and now human lie detector?"

"Just a few of my talents. When you lie your iris enlarges"

"And you're so keen to notice whether it expands or contracts?"

"Hmm"

Well, she never ceased to amaze me. But deep down, the w***e in me was thinking of going for the fling thing, half a cake was now sounding better than missing the whole cake. Yeah, terrible idea. I know and also against the lifelong church teachings I had endured but damn, he was just like this drug I was getting addicted to. Lust, love, desire it was hard to define.