My Crush or My Mate

9

True to their word my parents, and Roberto left me alone. So was Nick for the most part, I really felt alone and lost. I needed someone to give me a clue. Then there were the gifts, from Roberto, flowers, chocolate and some jewels. I kept sending them back with the delivery person, and gave them a tip for doing so. He wanted to buy me, didn't work the first time, wasn't working this time. I had sat down and talked with the women that were spreading the word of what was going on, I talked to them and addressed the biggest of the problems, fortunate for me they knew me and knew I wasn't that type of person so they gave me the benefit of the doubt and were willing to support me again.

I was happy to get this moving along, the first night was amazing the girls were really excited to know about skin care, makeup, and hair. I was able to get some of the best people here to teach them. first it was the skin care, as we were speaking to the girls someone came in and there was Roberto, with a big bunch of red roses. The girls thought it was the sweetest thing I pushed out of into the small hall.

"Is that how you treat your fiance, my dear?" his voice dark and angry.

"You are not my fiance, and I will never marry you."

"That's too bad, it's going to be really hard news for your family to hear."

"I bet it is, so whatever deal my dad has with you, I'm not biting so leave me alone."

Suddenly he grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against the wall, and before I could scream he covered my mouth with his. I fought hard to get him off me, but he was too strong, until I slammed my heel down onto his foot and he let me go. Then kneed him in the groin, I looked behind him and Nick's back was walking away.

"Nick!" I called but when I got outside he was gone, he must think I had thrown in the towel and was getting married to Roberto. I walked back inside and back to my meeting. I was being cornered and it was getting harder and harder to breath.

I tried calling Nick he wouldn't answer, I went to the house and he was never there, I need to talk to him. For the past few days there was unexplainable pain in my chest, like someone had punched a hole into it. I had the dreams again, making the ache unbearable, I wasn't sleeping and I wasn't able to eat so much, i went to the doctors and they did a bunch of tests and the only ones I could see that made sense was one. She explained that it was over stimulation, without release, and my body was slowly feeling exhausted and worn down. She asked if I was able to be aroused while having s*x, I told her yes, but I wasn't having any. I explained a little about Mitch and how it was getting hard to be with any one else, she was sympathic, and recommanded some forms of m**********g and it was very insightful. I heard her out and she let me go, I went to the park, and walked a while, when I felt someone behind me, it felt heavy, and my skin erupted in goosebumps.

I carefully looked around myself and saw nothing, then when I started moving again I ran right into him.

"Hello, Andrea, I imagine you know who I am." I froze and stared in fear, Nick's brother.

"Yeah, I know who you are."

He seemed to wait for me to say, but Nick never told me his name. He guessed as much and understood what my silence was.

"Of course he didn't tell you my name, like saying bloody mary in the mirror three times, so he didn't give you my name."

"No, and I don't have anything to talk to you about."

"Don't you?"

He took hold of my arm and brought me real close, he was looking into my eyes deeply his were a yellow green for a minute, then back to brown. The biggest smile spread across his face, and laughed a little. He looked at me again and seemed to pity me.

"Let's talk, I'll buy you a coffee."

"I don't..."

"Oh, trust me you'll want to know."

He lead me to a coffee shop and we ordered our coffees, and I couldn't help look at the "monster. he looked like Nick, in faical features but the eyes were different, his were dark brown, while Nick's were honey brown, he had a faded buzz cu, and very little beard and mustache. He too was watching me, so I looked away.

"Okay, beast man lay on me what do you want."

"Please beast boy was a child, I'm a man of many faces."

It was obvious he was flirting, but I wasn't in the mood.

"What do you want then?"

He gave me a cheesy smile, and chuckled.

"I can see how my brother, can be very frustrating, he hasn't sealed the deal, I see."

"Not from a lack of trying, but because I have my own issues to deal with."

"So I heard, hubby dies with the knowledge his wify liked the money more then him after all, and then you started to like the devil boy, then you're last little crush didn't really want anything to do with you, am I right?"

I sat there shocked at he knowing all of this.

"Before you ask, i can read minds, when you open your emotions I have a way into your head and heart."

"Weird seeing as, you don't have a heart."

He acted wounded and clenched his chest.

"Ouch, you wound me, Andrea, I do to have a heart, I didn't ask for this, my parents made the choice for me, I'm not trying to hurt Little Nicky, I've been trying to warn him, but he doesn't seem to want to talk to me."

"You killed his godfather, I wonder why?"

"Things I did in the past, I didn't mean to I was a little power hungry more or less."

"What's different now?"

"Our, Mother killed our father, she's been on a killing spree of all shifters, and I've been running for my dear life, and I've been trying to warn my brother, but sense he won't listen to me, he might listen to you."

"No, he's avoiding me at all cost."

"With your suger daddy in town, my little bro is feeling a little intimated, of course he would never say, men don't talk about feelings, and he wants to make this seperation as painless as possible, for himself."

I sat there still surprised he knew all this, but then it made me think really hard.

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Shut up, then what do you recomand?"

"You're answer is so easy, what do your parents value over all else?"

"Money."

"Right, and their image, you  ruin that and they just might leave you alone."

"I don't like you saying might."

"Who the hell is going to help me?"

Literally at that moment Jesse walked by, and he looked pretty bad.

"You think he would help me?"

"He could if you ask."

I took my coffee and headed out, when I turned to look at him again, he was gone.

Two weeks of planning, I talked to Jesse and he really was sorry for doing what he did and told me he would help anyway he could, I told him I would let him know for sure, but I wanted everyone to know, and I had the best person to send it out. Jesse didn't know I was going to have someone take pictures of us , but I would make sure his face was out of it.

In the mean time Roberto had told the whole church we were engaged and it pissed me off, that everyone was congratulating me in passing. He would try to hold my hand or wrap an arm around me, I made it obvious I didn't like or want his attention, but he was persistent. Mom flashing evil glares from across the room, and I glared right back.

The workshops I was doing still going and planning them was what was keeping my mind off Nick, and the dreams, I've tried the doctors suggestions but it wasn't enough, I felt like in the movies when the final step was happening but the zombies were trying to break in at that same time, the suspense of it was getting to be lot. Then one day Nick's brother came by the building I was holding the workshops and sat there looking at me.

"What?"

"I don't get you."

"What there to get, beast boy?"

He gave me a cocky smile, and came closer to me. He looked into my eyes and saw something I'm guessing. then walked away a little.

"I get the pain of words, I know the effect they have on the person, I see it whenever I use them on people, but why have a death grip on it, it happened it's done?"

"Like you said you mock, human feelings and use it for your own gain, but it doesn't touch you your soul, or heart doesn't feel, it's cold and dead."

"That still doesn't answer my question."

I put the pencil i had in my hand down and turned to look at him.

"Because that's not how I felt, it was my mom putting things in my head, while I was pregnant and I was scared because of everything we needed and..."

I stopped I was close to crying and I didn't need him to see me weak.

"Human are unusel creatures, I was human until I was five, and don't remember much about it."

"What I don't understand is why are you trying to help me and Nick get together, don't your kind kill us human for fun?"

It was his turn to look away, but didn't hide from the question.

"When I heard, Nicolai, turned without our parents choice, I hated him, he wasn't cursed he was give a gift, I was cursed becasue of my power hungry parents, yes I killed the man that saved my brother from us, he took the one person that could've saved me at the time."

"How?"

"If I hadn't killed someone and accepted the path of light, I would be just like any other shifter, but sense I was a few deaths under my belt I'm cursed, until I'm killed, I went to Nick for help but that old fool thought I wanted to kill my brother."

I sat there and thought everything I knew about shifters and it did mention they were notorious liars, praying on the emotionally weak or the protective need of people. That's why I wasn't really taking all of this to heart.

"Well, track record speaks for it's self."

He gave me a look, and it made me shrink.

"I can't fix  the past, but I can't let Mother to take the last person I do care about, he's distracted by you, his mate, he's fighting your call to him, your dreams are that call, you  cant shift so it makes you an easy target, if you die it makes him weak for a few days, if he dies you lose the power he shares with you."

"It won't pass down to me?"

He shook his head.

"You both have to be alert, you need to fix things."

He seemed to gag a little, strong emotions really weren't his thing.

"What about you?"

He looked at me and a type of sadness crossed his face and was gone.

"I get to live on the way I am, until I am killed, then I will be free."

I nodded showing I understood, I did feel for him.

"So what's your name, if I could ask?"

Again that cocky smile, the we walked up to me very close.

"I'll tell you on one condition."

"What's that?"

"Kiss me."

My head snapped round, what did he just say?

"Excuse me?"

"I've never felt..." He thought about for a moment, " the warmth of a women's skin, or the heat of a kiss, I find it curious how one little thing drives people to unbelieveable things."

I walked away from him and when I turned back, he had Nick's face.

"So you have never had s*x with a woman, or ...."

"Woman, I have but it's all superfiscel, there was plenty of heat in it, lust but I have never tasted Love."

Again I felt for him, it must really suck living like that, but why me. I looked at him, with Nick's face and even when I knew it wasn't him, I wanted him.

"One kiss?"

"One."

I got close to him slowly, and gave him a peck, then pulled away.

"That was not a kiss."

"You might have his face, but I know you're not Nick."

"Really you sure about that?" He was speaking in Nick's voice.

I froze, and my body erupted in heat, but my mind knew it wasn't him.

"One kiss?"

He came closer, until I was backed up to the wall, and ran a gentle thumb along my cheek.

"One kiss."

His lips were on mine but they weren't warm they were cold, and for someone who hadn't felt love he was imataing it well, he deepen the kiss slightly. His hands wondering for a bit, then he pulled me super close to him, his body wasn't warm in was cold also, what I did feel was the strain in his pants, that's when I pushed him away softly.

"Calian."he whispered on my lips, " That's my name."

He had his eyes closed like he was trying to remember the feeling of the kiss, he was breathless a little.

"Are you okay?"

"That was powerful, what you feel when you see him, that's not lust."

I pushed past him and when I turned he was gone again.

For some reason I had a feeling these thing were going to come in threes, and sure enough right as I was eat the pizza I brought home there was a knock at the door. I went over and opened there was Jesse, really drunk.

"Jesse, what the heck.."

"She's gone Andy, she just left me and even took my ring."

He fell inside, before I could catch him.

"And you're here why?"

"I couldn't thin-k, where else to go."

"Jesse where are your parents?"

"Their in the house, it was Dad's idea to get me wasted, and Mom and Yazmin are trying to cal Yuliana."

I  looked at him and took the empty beer bottle from him, as I reached he, tried to kiss me. What was it with everyone kissing me today? I took it and went to throw it away, when I was coming back, I almost ran into him.

"Jesse, you're not really drunk are you ?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"No, just buzzed, but I had you going didn't I?"

"Not really."

He laughed again, and sat down.

"Why don't women like me, Andy?"

"They do, you just need to know how to pick them."

He looked at me with unfocused eyes.

"Did you do this to ruin..."

"NO, Jesse, I wanted to see if you really cared, you'd been trying to get me away from Nick so, I wanted to see before I really made a choice, but I already knew the answer, before I even did the doll thing."

"I'm sorry for playing with your emotions, I guess I knew you'd forgive me, with whatever I did."

  "In the past I would've but now I'm not so sure."

He looked at  me and looked worried, he came close and hugged me.

"Andy, I can't lose you too."

"In what way, Jesse, you've made it clear there is no attraction between us, and I've tried and tried when I was younger but just like Yuliana is what you like, beautiful and heartless."

"So only as friends right."

"Yeah, you had your chance again and you missed it again, I like Nick sorry."

He nodded his head, looking around, then pulled away a little.

"I don't want to go back to the house, I can't stand my family right now."

"If you'll behave you can sleep in the guest bedroom."

"Really, thank you Andy I really owe ya."

I helped him to the only other room that had a bed and laid him down, I tucked him into the bed like a little kid, but before I could get up he held on to my hand.

"If you made a video, then why do I remember us kissing?"

"Because that part did happen, the s*x part didn't."

He thumb ran over my hand, as he thought for a while.

"You're a good kisser."

"Thanks, I think."

"I know we said friends, but will you kiss me one last time."

Right as he said that I pulled out my phone and set it for pictures, and I slowly leaned down and kissed him, I could hear the camera taking pictures and when I pulled back. he fell asleep, I took the phone with me and looked at the pictures, they came out clear as day. I sent them to my sister in North Dakota

"Why should  do it for you?" she texted back.

"All the money will be  yours, sis, I'll never come darken your door way for any of it."

She was typing.

"Fine, I'll do it."

"All the magiznes got it?"

"Yup, so you know you won't be able to come back here right?"

I thought about that for a while.

"Yup, I know."

"Take care, sis."

"You too."

I said I knew i was losing a lot but I was done being used for my parents gain.

I went to sleep or at least I tried with the freakin dreams, I was hardly getting any sleep.

The next morning I made breakfast, and Jesse came out of the room a little more refreshed from the night before.

"Morning." He said a little bashfully, as he sat down and I handed him a mug of coffee.

"This will help with the heavy feeling."

"Thanks, Andy, I was so messed up last night."

"So what happened?"

He took a deep drink then, looked up at me.

"After the fight we had about the night you know, she told me she wasn't going to marry a low life like me."

"Okay."

"Said she was a queen I couldn't handle, and said she was going with a man that could."

"So she was cheating on you?"

"Just resently when we were back in Cali, she wasn't like this, but when we moved in together, she took over everything, I thought hey we live together, so why not, she was controling everything, until I saw you again it was the first time in a while, That I ever relaxed, like I said I acted like myself and she thought I was stupid, so I always acted in front of her."

"I'm sorry Jess, well, I think you budged a bullet."

"But I wasted time in really finding the one, again."

He looked at me with tenderness in his eyes, if had been back then I would've pounced but I wasn't and it took him too long to realize who I was so. We ate breakfast and once we were done he left and I was left alone.

A few hours later, my sister sent me a text with a picture form last night, with the headline

" Future CEO's Fiance Caught Cheating."

I thanked her and closed the phone, I knew what this meant and I didn't care.

Sure enough by the end of the day, I heard the SUV outside and doors slamming, then Dad pounding on the door.I opened it, he suddenly smacked me across the face, and I stumbled back.

"You ungrateful, little b***h!" said my mom, and I felt a lip  bleed a little.

"I see you saw the news."

Dad looked ready to explode,  he smacked me again.

"Do not mock us, do you have nay idea what you did?!"

"Yeah, I freed myself, now if I marry Roberto he'll look like a chum."

"No!You stupid moron, We'll lose everything our money, our house, our image, respect from our peers, how can you be so selfish!"

"Me, you want to talk selfish, Mom, you have never wanted me to have anything for myself, love a family if he didn't have money, I lost that and what did you do put me up for sell, after I lost your grandchild and I lost my husband, that gave me the best, not the most expensive and you manipulated me when I was most vulnerable!"

"You liked Roberto I don't...."

"No, I respected him, as a young CEO that was great for him, what you saw as dollar signs why not you already married off one daughter to a rich guy, why not two!"

"You think being poor is..."

"As long as he works for his money, Roberto is just waiting for his father to kick the bucket, then take everything for himself!"

"If you don't marry Roberto, I will lose everything, I've made not so good investments and I lost too much, if you don't marry Roberto, your mother and I will lose everything, Andrea, you can't possibly be so selfish."

I looked at him, and glared.

"Yes, I am, you have problems, try fixing them just like everyone else."

He looked at me in disbelief as did my mom.

"I knew letting you marry that Andrews..."

"Would open my eyes to the real world, I'm glad or else I'd be suckered into something else."

Dad came up to me and glared me down.

"You are dead to me, you got that I will conceal all of your cards, leave you poor and out on the street!"

It felt like he had stabbed me in the chest and pulled it out, but I held my ground looking right back at him.

"News flash Dad, I unlike you invested wisely so I don't need your money, I have my own, and that goes for you too I'm not your daughter and my children are not your family either, so stay away from me for good."

I looked right back at them and they seemed shaken but didn't say any thing. They walked out and were gone, I fell to my knees in relief, and cried for losing the last blood members of my family.

A few days later I found out that the man Yuliana had been cheating with was none other then Roberto, I felt for Jesse but at least he knew now not later. They were all gone and as I worked and tried to find the crouage to go look for Nick, I let the waters settle, but I started to hear about killings of animals and life stock,  only a state over.

One Sunday I walked out of church and saw Calian outside and on the other side of the parking lot.I had walked that day and so we walked, but he didn't have his face it was a different person. How did I know it was him, he would come closer to the church.

"Yes, beast boy?"

"Miss me?"

"Not really a lot has happened, so I've been busy."

He grinned and we walked.

"I still don't understand, why you're not in some dark forest somewhere luring some innocent person to their death."

"Very few of us try to find a greater purpose then killing, I ralized that even though, my parents put this curse on me, I can use it how I wish."

"Let the children come to me and do not hinder them."

"Did you just quoate the bible at me, I might perish." He said dramaticly then grinned.

"I think what happened they played with evil, but you were innocent sometimes that has it's own effects, it protects you from the worst part of the curse."

"What's worse the killing people?"

"Not being able to stop, like at all, yet you're here wanting to help your brother and warning him, instead of hunting him down like he thinks."

He went quiet, and we walked like that for a while, the air was becoming crispier and the leafs were slowly changing colors. we were in August after all.

"You are definitely a catch, and I should leave, someone doesn't seem happy to see me with you."

I looked around  and caught the cat.

"He's been avoiding me, yet will follow me."

"Like I said your dreams are your call to him, and the sooner you two get together the better for both of you."

I looked at the cat and he looked right back at me, when I turned to look at Calian he was gone, when I turned to look at Nick he was gone too.

When I got home I felt his eyes on me again, I knew it was Nick because I felt warm and safe, not cold and on edge, where ever he was, I took my dress off the sexiest way I could think of then my bra and underwear, before I pulled on my sweat pants and my tank top, just to give him something to think of.