War For Love

~Twenty~

It was never easy to be a warrior. One has to be ready to die, every single day. Siya was new in this field. She was fiery, indeed but inexperienced too. Jayanti Lal and his men had saved her but until when? One day, she would have to pay for her fight with her life. Siya's mother was scared that one day her rebellious actions would kill her. And not seeing an ounce of fear in her eyes, scared Siya's mother even more. It was like, Siya loved the pain. She looked proud of her injuries but what Siya's mother— Leela could see was humiliation Siya had suffered.

Once Vedika was done applying the ointment on her wounds, their parents had to go out to the farm to work. Not that they could've stopped Siya from going out to meet Sahib, if they would've stayed. Siya changed into one of the only two remaining sets of clothes. She braided her hair, applying a thick coat of kohl in her eyes. Her wounds clearly visible on her skin and she felt them too. But pain was nothing she couldn't handle. She kept chanting in her mind that she was stronger than she had ever been.

"Siya, you're going somewhere?" Vedika asked when she saw her sister ready, unlike how she was a few minutes ago. Siya turned around to face her sister, a light smile forming on her face.

"Don't I go always at this time, Jiji?" Vedika opened her mouth, only to shut it again. Sure, she did but after what had happened, going out, sneaking out was fairly a stupid idea for Vedika.

The people of their village now knew, Siya was the woman in the protest. That she had sneaked out of her house in midnight, to bomb stations and buildings, with men. But now, if anyone saw her outside, how would she answer and what will she say? Why she's going in a lane that leads to Sahib's house?

"But that was different, Siya. How can you go out after everything that has happened?"

"Are you ashamed, Jiji? Are you ashamed that your sister got whipped publicly?" Siya asked softly, her heart pounding loudly inside her chest. Vedika's eyes widened at her sister's words, shaking her head as she gripped Siya's shoulders lightly, looking at her gently. How can she even think that she could ever embarrass her?

"Of course not, Siya. But it would be a lie if I said, it didn't disturb me. People now know who you are. It's just the matter of time until they realize what you feel for Sahib. Sometimes your bravery scares me so much that I can't help but beg you to stay home." Siya smiled at her sister's concern.

"What I feel for Sahib is not a sin for me to hide, Jiji. However, Sahib for now doesn't wish to accept this emotions that are evoking inside us." Siya said as he looked outside her window. It was getting late.

"He must have come from the meeting, Jiji; and knowing him, he definitely didn't had anything since last night. I need to go. Please." Vedika didn't knew what was more great, Siya's selfless devotion for Sahib or Sahib's endless respect for Siya.

But what would Vedika say to her parents when they won't see Siya in the house? How would she keep them from not worrying, knowing they had witnessed everything from their own eyes?

"But what will I say to Ma and Baba, when they'd see you missing from the house?" Siya smiled at her question, turning towards her as she placed a tortilla with some vegetables on it.

"The truth, Jiji." Vedika's eyes widened as she grasped her hand, stopping Siya from moving.

"That you're with Sahib? No ways! Have you lost your senses to think, Siya?"

"Trust me, Jiji, tell them the truth. I need to go now. And I'll be late, don't wait for me for the dinner."

~~~~~~~

Sahib was oblivious to what had happened in the village after he left for the neighbouring village. He had just walked in his house, kept the bag under the pit, he had dug before covering it up. He hung the clothe, he had covered his upper torso with on the branch of the banyan tree before sitting down on his cot.

Sahib looked at the darkness of the sky. The moon was shining a little brighter that other nights. Sahib had always admired the full moon. He felt a weird attraction towards it. But everything made him curious. The sun, the moon, the stars, the whole universe. Only if he could've afforded a telescope, he would've bought it. The last time, he saw the moon and stars through it was when he was in the college. No-one knew but Sahib was an educated man. He could converse in multiple languages, fluently.

His eyes occasionally moved towards his doorless entrance, anticipating a certain someone's arrival. It was odd of him to wait for someone. A woman, to be precise. But Siya was a woman that made him feel so many emotions at the same time. Anger. Frustration. Care. Affection. Need. Admiration. He was so used to her presence in his house that despite her absence, he could smell her in his house. Her scent that made his heart to beat a little more than usual, her scent that mesmerized him just like Shree Krishna's flute enchanted Shree Radha.

And just when his eyes closed, the familiar scent flooded his nostrils. The soft thumping of Siya's feet made his heart to beat faster. His eyes slowly opened, to look at the woman, he had been waiting to see from the previous night. Twenty four hours away from her were akin to hundred of years. He felt the need to embrace her in his eyes.

And Siya stood just a little away from his cot. His eyes looked into the depth of her obsidian orbs. They looked so much different. So much more intense than before. As if the childish emotions her eyes always held were diluted by something so much more serious. Slowly, slowly, stance by stance, Sahib took in her frame only for his eyes to widened before his jaw clenched and his fingers curled in a fist.

The red, painful whip marks on her body were clear as day to his eyes. Siya made no attempt to hide them. He stood up, abruptly. His eyes red with rage and visible anger. Someone had dared to hurt her. There were not one or two whip marks but so many. Her neck, her arms, her stomach, every visible part of her body had red, painful wounds. He remember not seeing any of these marks on her body before. She had no such marks even when he left for the meeting in the neighbouring village.

"Siya," His thick voice caressed with softness that made her insides to feel giddy. Her lips pulled up in a soft smile, that broke him from inside. How can a woman smile after bearing such painful, humiliating torture?

Not caring about the sacred distance to be maintained between an unmarried man and a maiden woman, he stepped closer to her. His calloused fingers lightly brushed her skin, her wounds. She almost flinched back from the pain, making him retract his hand back. He suddenly felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Siya realized what she did. She flinched back from a man who had never hurt her. Swallowing the lump of her throat down, she placed one of her palm on his hand, squeezing it a bit as she gazed at him softly.

Sahib didn't knew what had happened and what had changed. But the Siya in front of him looked akin to that saint, who had abandoned all her fear, anger and hatred. Something so pure swirled in her eyes that a part of him almost bowed down to her.

"What happened, Siya? Why do your body have so many whip marks?" Sahib asked, his voice held pain and anger. Someone had tried to hurt the woman who was dearest to him. Precious to him. Siya felt tremors passing down her spine as she got the flashbacks of what had happened that morning.

"I got what I've always dreamt of, Rudra." Sahib furrowed his brows, not understanding what Siya meant. How can getting whipped be related to her dreams? Siya, however, smiled. The pain no longer scared her.

"What do you mean?"

"I always wanted for people to know that a woman was involved in the last protest. I wanted the foreign rule to know that we— women are capable of fighting too. And that's happened. This is just a tribute of my love for my motherland. This is my pride, Rudra."

Sahib didn't knew what to say. Her eyes held so much of pride and happiness that it was impossible to think if Siya even felt any pain. He slowly, ran his hand on her head, stroking her gently, softly, almost like a mother caressing her child. She felt loved.

"I don't like seeing you hurt, Siya." He confessed, his eyes looking at the painful marks on her body as he licked his lips, letting out a sigh as he tenderly held her face, making her to suck in a breath.

How unusual it was for Sahib to express his emotions. But whenever he did, it made Siya feel like he had pulled the sky down to her feet. His fingers were soft against her cheeks and she slowly opened her eyes, holding his palm, their eyes met each other like never before. Siya could see herself in his eyes. Beautiful. His eyes made her feel beautiful.

"But I like when you express your affection towards me. It makes me feel wanted. Loved, even." Sahib gulped at her words as she took a step forward, smiling at him. Sahib could see how much he made her happy. She always smiled when he was around her.

"Did you have anything at all since the morning, Siya? I know for a matter of fact that you are a very stubborn woman and won't eat until I've eaten in front of you." Siya laughed at his words, shaking her head as she pulled him towards the cot, sitting down beside him.

"I'll eat once I go home. And I also know that you have not had anything since last night too." Sahib rolled his eyes, looking at the full moon before looking at the woman beside her. How can someone be so beautiful, as to compete with the divinity of the mighty moon?

"Uh—huh. You always feed me before eating yourself. Here, have it." He said, taking a piece of tortilla before dipping it in the curry before taking it closer to her mouth and she took a bite, chewing the food slowly.

Siya's heart almost leaped out of her chest. Her eyes widened, Sahib was being too expressive and it made the blush to erupt on her cheeks. She quickly looked away, her cheeks flushing red.

"Careful, Sahib, someone might think you're falling for me." Siya teased, though a part of her was serious. Sahib's lips almost twitched up, his ears turning pink as he glared at her and she pressed her lips to keep herself from laughing.

"I don't care about what people think of me, Siya. I care what they think about you."

"Neither do I care, Rudra. All I care about is what you feel for me." Sahib looked at her for a minute, his eyes looking at her with an intensity that made her heart to only chant one name. Rudra. Rudra. Rudra.

"Are my actions not enough to answer to your question, Siya?"

She smiled, her eyes squinting as she looked into his dark eyes. Her sky. Her universe.

"They're more than enough. But you confessing your feelings for me would always be my forever incomplete dream." Sahib couldn't bring himself to say those words out. Those words, Siya wanted to hear from him. He was a coward. He had accepted long ago, now.

"The day I name this relation, Siya, I'd ruin it. Some relations are better unnamed." Siya's heart pained a bit. But she consoled her heart, saying Sahib would one day definitely name their relation without any fear. That day, she'd be the happiest woman alive.

Seeing her silence, Sahib continued. "You know, Siya, my mother always used to say, words are used by cowards. Your actions, however will tell others, what you feel for them. Not everything needs the validation of this society. Not every relation needs to be named."

"Your mother seemed a smart lady."

"She was." Sahib agreed, his heart curling in pain for the loss of his mother and Siya saw the pain in his eyes for she cupped his palm, placing her head against his bare shoulder and closed her eyes. Warmth spread in their hearts as Sahib let her keep her head on his shoulder.

"Remember, Siya, you told your sister, how you always wished for a royal wedding." Siya's heart thumped loudly inside her chest as she looked at Sahib, gulping, nodding her head. Not wanting to know, how he knew this.

"I may never marry you, Siya, but I promise you, you'll never forget this time with me. The only thing I can give you is my heart, not my Surname. I can accept your love, I can bestow you with my selfless love but I can never give this relation any name."

Siya's heart almost shattered just the same time, it soared inside her chest. He indirectly but confessed his feelings for her but also told her, he'd never accept her as his wife.

"Can we just live in the moment now, please? I don't want to think about future when my present is so beautiful." With that she again placed her head on his shoulder as they both looked at the moon.