War For Love

~Twelve~

"Teach me how to use a sword." Siya's demand echoed in Sahib's mind again and again.

The last time Siya asked him to teach her sword fighting was a jest but now— now she looked determined. The silence amid them reigned for a long time. Sahib knew teaching a woman how to use a sword was against their village's rules and regulations. But the determination Siya's eyes held was scary. With the time, he had spent with Siya, he knew she wasn't jesting. If she said, she wishes to learn the art of sword fighting, she would learn it at any cost.

Siya was the rule breaker. She did everything, the society told any woman not to. She had sneaked out in night, meets a man in secrecy, talks to a man who is neither her husband, nor her father. She did everything, a woman was denied to. She was a delinquent. She had broken so many laws that she could be punished by the landlords and royals, if she got caught. But Sahib couldn't deny that her rebel was the start of women revolution. The day she stepped out of her house, she ensured an independent future for other women.

"Have you lost your mind! I can't teach you how to use a sword, woman!" Sahib growled, shaking his head as he looked away from her eyes, that seemed to have a peculiar effect on his heart. Her gaze melted a frozen part of him. He would definitely give in if they continued staring into each other's dark eyes.

"You can't, or you won't, Sahib?" Siya asked calmly. Sahib clenched his jaw, his fingers curling in a fist as he turned to look at her.

Asking her to call him Rudra was a mistake, he didn't wish to correct. He regretted every second of it after Siya went home but that doesn't mean, he doesn't want her to call him by his name. Sahib was a title that held authority over people but he didn't wish to have that authority over her. As much as painful it was for him to accept it, but Sahib wanted to cherish her. It's been too long, he had no-one to call his family. The idea was moronic, of course but irresistible, indeed.

But how good it would be to have a woman, he could call his family. How beautiful it would be to cherish someone and being cherished and wanted in return. How soothing it would be to sleep in their embrace, to feel the love that had been long lost in his life. How beautiful his life would be to have a woman like Siya.

He was pulled out of his muse when Siya called him 'Sahib' again. Why was hearing her call him anything other than his name pained him so much?

He shook his head. The thoughts of cherishing Siya, to love her as his own seemed abysmal. He was a warrior, he walks with death beside him and Siya was just eighteen now. A child. A young girl who had her whole life in front of her. A few days of love would cost her, her whole life.

"I won't." Sahib said in his steely voice, making Siya's eyes to narrow as she took a step forward, her own fingers curling in a fist, matching his intense gaze with her own.

"Why? Because I am a woman?" She asked incredulously. Sahib didn't like the look her eyes held. She looked angry. Really angry. Akin to that active volcano who was about to explode any moment now and whose lava would burn her, first. But what really pinched Sahib was the look of hurt that flashed for a minute second but he caught it. She was hurt.

"Yes." Sahib agreed, nonetheless. His eyes hiding his own hesitation and hurt. "Because you're a wilful and obstreperous woman!"

Siya slightly flinched back by his harsh deliberate words. Siya didn't knew, Sahib meant nothing of what he had said. It was an intentional move to discourage her from coming in his house and go stop the yearning he had for her. And by this, he can save her from all the wicked plans royals were sewing for the woman involved in the protest.

"You're highly mistaken, Sahib, if you think, I will step back by your harsh and insulting words. If you won't teach me, I'll find myself another Guru (teacher) who will teach me how to fight with a sword." Siya spat his title like a poison. Sahib rubbed his forehead with tiredness as he closed his eyes. Vexation clear as day on his face.

"No-one will teach you how to use a sword, girl." Sahib said softly. Almost like a parent talking with their child. The soft and gentle caress of his voice, clenched Siya's heart. Only if he would have used this tone some other time, in some other circumstances, it wouldn't have broken her.

A single tear rolled down her left eye, indicating that Siya was hurt. Sahib's insides curled painfully but Siya didn't break down. It was just a single tear because she blinked her tears of helplessness back. Her heart did break at his words but she would learn how to fight, at any cost.

"Then I'll teach myself. I can be my own Guru (teacher), Sahib." With that, she turned around to leave him and Sahib felt the urge to stop her. It felt so wrong to him to let her so, hurt. She was the woman he fed her! He reminded himself. The woman he wanted in his life, a minutes ago— he can't let her leave with tears in her eyes.

"Siya!"

Siya was taken aback by his voice. He had called her. By her name. It had always been woman, lady, girl, but he had called her by her name that day. It passed shivers down her body. Her feet ceased their movement and her whole body froze. Her name rolled out with such emotion that brimmed her heart with endless overwhelmed tears.

Sahib realized his mistake. He shouldn't have stopped her in the first place. After all, this was the thing he wanted, right? And calling her by her name was the second biggest mistake. The way Siya froze and her eyes widened, her lips parted, he knew he affected Siya. But could he let her go with tears in her eyes? The courageous, bold, bubbly woman, shouldn't be sad because of him.

But the way, her name rolled out of his tongue, felt so right. So natural. Like it was meant fot him to call, for him to caress.

"It's not a good idea to learn sword fighting. Try to understand me." Sahib said, his words firm but a different gentleness laced his voice. Siya licked her lips before turning around to face him.

"Like you're trying to understand me, Sahib?" Siya asked in a low tone and Sahib took a deep breath before speaking.

"You do realise, there are officers looking for you, right? There's someone spying on us and I'm doing everything in my power to save you, only for you to push yourself in the same danger again. You don't know how things work with royals. You won't be able to handle the humiliation and pain."

"Aren't you bearing the pain? Aren't you bearing the humiliation? You took a public whipping to save me, Sahib. Wasn't that a humiliation? So if you can, why can't I?"

"I chose this! Someone has to step up and do this job, Siya. If it won't be me, taking the punishment, someone else of your village would. And this world is too cruel. It doesn't accept a girl with a single scar and you're talking about scarring your whole life!" Siya opened her mouth to only close it again. His voice and words weren't harsh but soft, almost defeated and Siya didn't like him defeated. He was meant to win, everything in his life.

"I'm choosing this, too. I am talking about equality, Sahib, not some special benefits because I am a woman. I want to enter the battlefield, bear the injuries and scars like a warrior because I want to. I will fight, Sahib. And for that I need to know self defence."

"You're talking about equality and calling me by a title that holds the epitome of discrimination." Sahib gritted out and Siya smiled at his words.

"You accept me as your equal, Sahib and I will call you by your name."

"You won't change your decision?" Sahib asked quietly and Siya swallowed before shaking her head.

"No."

"Very well, then. Be ready every morning, before the sun rises and the villagers wake up, in the forest. There's someone spying on us in my house. It's not safe to practice there. And remember, a minute of delay and I won't teach you." Siya felt a wide smile spreading on her face as she quickly nodded her head, the light in her eyes made Sahib's heart to beat loudly. Her happiness awoke a part of him alive.

"You'll find me in the forest before you, Rudra."

Sahib's eyes widened and his mouth felt dry. He clenched his fist, nodding his head. His name from her mouth made his knees to go weak. His heart skipped a beat and he swallowed the saliva down.

"You're learning under my care, Siya. You need to follow my rules. You won't defy me." Sahib said in his stern voice but Siya was too happy to care as she nodded her head.

"Of course. When have I ever breached any law, Sahib?" Siya said with a sweet smile, fluttering her eyelashes at Sahib, who looked away from her, his ears turning pink. This woman! He thought.

"You can leave now." Sahib gritted out and Siya gave him a mock salute him before she rushed out of his house. Only when she left, his lips twitched a bit, but nothing else. He sat down on his cot, taking the banana leaf in his hand before he took some rice in his fingers before putting it in his mouth, like he didn't wish to smile.

~~~~~~

True to her words, Siya had reached the forest even before Sahib. She had tied her hair in a tight braid. Her eyes had a thick coat of kohl and a bindi (a dot on forehead) resting on her forehead. Sahib came a few minutes later, two swords in his hand with their respective scabbards. The spark of curiousity and excitement bubbled inside her as she saw Sahib approaching with her new acquaintance— the sword.

Sahib was impressed by seeing her on time. Not that he had expected her to be any late. His eyes took in her frame and it didn't look like Siya had come out of her sleep instead she looked wide awake and excited. He shook her head, looking away from her face.

"Good morning, Rudra." Siya greeted him, making his insides to tremble as she spoke his name with a tease. It was new for Sahib to hear someone calling him by his name. He wasn't accustomed to it yet but he was getting used to it. But it felt good, different to hear someone calling him by his birth name. It felt unusually warm to him, despite the cold wind blowing around him.

"Hm. Are you ready for your first lesson?" Sahib asked and Siya eagerly nodded her head, her childlike desires was melting an eternal frozen part of him. Siya, oblivious to her effect on Sahib, was smiling, not caring about anything.

"I am. Is that my sword?" Siya asked lowly, trying to contain her excitement but failed miserably as Sahib rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"It's my sword. I'm just lending it to you while I'm teaching you how to fight. And remember, Siya, for a writer, his pen and for a soldier, his sword is the biggest and the holiest weapon. Never disrespect your sword, hm?" Siya listened intently to Sahib, nodding her head.

"Great. There are certain rules you need to follow while we're here, hm? First and the foremost rule is you won't harm yourself with this sword."

Siya was taken aback by his first rule. Her eyes widened as she gulped. She could never hurt herself. She knew the worth of her life.

"Why would I try to hurt myself with the sword?" Siya asked and Sahib looked at her intensely as he answered her question.

"This path you've chosen is not easy, Siya. You'll see it yourself, further. But remember my first rule. And until you don't promise me to follow the first rule, I won't go ahead." Siya swallowed at his firm words before she nodded her head.

"I promise. I won't ever hurt myself intentionally with this sword or anything ever."