Mend the Flesh

Chapter 3

3

I watched him go. I didn't try to stop him. Some pains are private, and no matter how often you talk about them or how much time has passed, they never go away. The death of Royal's wife was one of those things. But it also got me thinking, how did he get a wife? Why didn't the role of wife have some strange Traveller name or something? Royal, despite his wings, felt the most human of any Traveller I'd met. Maybe he'd spent a lot of time with humans and picked up some stuff.

I threw a few more logs on the fire so it would still be burning when Royal returned. He didn't need the light to guide him, he knew this land like the back of his hand, but the light of the fire would be welcoming.

My room had two large openings, which Royal affectionately called windows, but without glass, they were indeed just big holes in the wall. Sure they had shutters, but thin slats of wood weren't going to stop any desert creepy-crawlies from getting inside. The shutters were open, and moonlight poured through making lighting some candles unnecessary. There was a simple bed up against the back wall just outside the circle of light, and a door beside it led to a bathroom and closet. The best feature of the room was the bathtub. It was a clawfoot number, large enough for me and my wings, and sat directly in the circle of moonlight that spilt through the window.

I turned the single tap, cold water, if you wanted hot, you had to heat it yourself. As the tub filled, I went over to the full-length mirror Royal had propped against one wall and began the delicate process of unwrapping myself. I went through this every night, and although I could see some progress in my condition, it still took an effort not to gag at my reflection.

I had more flesh now, which was great, but sometimes the wrappings stuck to my new raw patches, which meant a slow wiggle-tear process to release them. My skull was completely covered in a thin layer of new flesh. I had eyelids now, and you couldn't see the food in my mouth when I chewed. Royal was very happy about that. My ribcage was thickening up, just a faint shadow of my lungs and heart remained. And my arms and legs were just starting to flesh out. Little strips of beef carpaccio stretched from shoulder to elbow and hip to knee. But nothing had skin on it; I guess that would come later. I looked like some sort of moving anatomical diagram designed to display the muscular system. It was a huge improvement from where I'd started, but all the raw flesh made me look more disgusting than I had when I was just bone and burned bits of skin. Yep, I looked gross, horror movie gross.

My wings were still nothing but twigs. They hadn't made any progress at all. I flexed the twiggy bones in the mirror, they moved like rusty hinges.

"Oil can," I mumbled to the darkness.

The tub was just about full, so I began focusing my power to warm it. It didn't take much to heat the water, but I was still fragile, and most of my energy was going to healing. The sound of running water calmed me; I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I reached deep into myself and called forth my power. I could see it, in my belly, dark and cold, a tiny flame working so hard against the darkness. I called to it, coaxed it forward, and soon it was a warm glow I could hold in my hands. The orb of power pulsated between my palms. Not the huge blast of power I had once created, but stronger than the day before. I plunged my hands into the water, and the ball of energy spread out into the liquid. Soon little trails of steam floated from the surface in the cool desert night. I turned off the tap and gently stepped into the water.

The water was the perfect temperature, but my limbs were still stiff and raw; it took a lot of deep breaths to step into the tub. My feet felt strange on its ceramic bottom. I could feel each toe as it touched the hard surface; it felt like drumming your fingernails on a tabletop. There wasn't enough flesh on my feet to give me traction, so I had to grip the sides of the tub hard to keep from completely falling into the water. I'd learned from my previous attempts at bathing and already had fluffy towels draped over the sides of the tub for my hands to hold as I braced myself. Much like my feet, raw tendon fingers couldn't do much against the smooth ceramic sides of the tub. Without the towels for gripping, I'd be flat on my ass and in a lot of pain. Royal had already had to rescue me a couple of times. Being picked up off the floor feels way more embarrassing when you have no skin. So with beef jerky legs and sinewy hands, I lowered myself into the water, slowly. My nerves were raw, literally and figuratively, and everywhere the water touched sang out.

Finally submerged, I sat back against the tub and let myself relax into the water. Royal said the baths would help keep the new flesh soft and he was right, but it was an exercise in perseverance to look at my broken body as I did it. I was grateful the moonlight was reflecting off the surface enough to hide the raw flesh from my eyes. I had painstakingly shifted the tub into a position where the moon would strike it and had to move it every few days to keep it in the moonlight. I feared the upcoming days of no moon; how would I keep from looking at my strange body then?

My wing stubs, as I affectionately called them since they'd been cut down in size, wiggled tentatively in the water. It was the first time they'd moved on their own since the Burning and I sat bolt upright, sloshing water over the sides of the tub.

"Holy crap!" I exclaimed. "Are you guys back?"

In response to my question, the wings wiggled again.

Yes, my wings answer questions, and yes, my wings are a part of my body, and yes, that makes no sense. But we'd spent so long apart that they had developed an energy of their own. When we joined forces again, they kept some of that power. It was like having symbiotic twins attached to your back. We shared everything, but they still had an element of autonomy.

My wings wiggled again, but the movement was less smooth this time, jerky and a little stiff.

"Right, back in the water."

I slipped back into the water, going deep enough for it to be brushing my chin. I held myself away from the ceramic, so the wings could get a bit more movement if they so desired. And desire they did.

The wings started to open and close, slowly, like we were high in the air and soaring amongst the clouds. It felt so good to experience that sensation again. I could almost feel their full glory again, and I smiled, genuinely smiled, from my heart, for the first time since the Burning. With the moonlight pouring down on me, I closed my eyes and stretched out in the water, remembering the feeling of flight.

With my eyes closed I felt transported, not in a vision like my wings had done before, they weren't powerful enough yet to do that, but I could see the glimmer of our past life. Like a grainy home movie being played on a sheet in the backyard, the images of our flight played out in my mind. We were soaring through the Void. The land was grey and undulating below us; the ice cold rivers were black lines cutting through the soft rises of the earth. Everywhere I looked the sky was grey, one uniform shade of grey everywhere. Distance, time, they had no meaning here. I was in love. In love with my home world, with its stark beauty. Its ability to disturb and embrace me. This was home, not my comfortable house in the forest; this was my place of origin, my homeland. This was where I grew my power. This was my land, and it called to me just as my wings did. It called to me through space and time as I lay in my bath with my wing stubs wiggling, and through the vision told me I was never alone. I would always have the Void.

The vision broke, and I found myself standing in the bathtub, my wings calm at my back and the light from the moon fading from my flesh as it travelled across the sky. I could feel my feet against the tub; they seemed fuller, more secure. I looked down at myself and saw a shiny new layer of muscle over my bones. I smiled, and it didn't hurt. I touched my face and realised not only were my fingers more whole, but my lips were fuller, they covered all of my teeth. I let my hands fall to my side and took a deep breath. I stepped out of the tub, no need to grip the sides, and walked to the mirror. In the fading light of the moon, I turned my back to see my wings. Though still only bones and bits of muscle, they had grown. New bone protruded from the end of each wing.