The Last Wife

thirteen

• embarrassing boyfriend •

It's a dark cold night.

I'm standing in the middle of the road, the wind rippling through my white dress. There's a stain on my dress.

A blood stain.

I try to rub it off but the stain gets bigger and bigger. Now the dress is filled with blood. I try to take it off when I hear screams. Screams of terror.

A black car stands infront of me.

My mother is screaming inside, trying to push the door open. But it doesn't. She manages to smash the window with the help of her heel and injures herself. The glass cuts her hand. She hops out of the window and breaks the door open. She gets Maya out. Then Alex. Then dad.

Alex and dad are unconscious. My dad is badly injured and bleeding profusely. My little brother has bruises on his hands.

Little me is sitting at the backseat as she watches mom save everyone. Everyone but herself.

"Isabel, come here baby!"

Mom quickly carries me out of the car. She sighs in relief after saving all of us.

"Mommy! My doll!" Maya cries. "You left her..."

"Baby, I'll get you another doll." She says gently. "Okay?"

"No!" She shakes her head. "I want her! She's my best friend!"

"Mom, I can get it for her." I suggest.

"No, I'll do it."

She quickly runs back to the car to fetch the doll when the car blows up in flames.

"Moooommm!!!!" I scream in horror.

In the bloody dress, I bolt to the burning car to try and get mom out. Try to save her like she saved everyone. But her body is in flames.

"Isabel?"

I turn back to see my mom standing in a pure-white dress. Her eyes are filled with rage and resentment.

"It should have been you!"

Her words wrench my heart into pieces, echoing repeatedly in my mind.

"You should have died in that fire."

Tears stream down my eyes as I watch her vanish into thin air.

"Mom! Don't leave me! Please! Don't go!"

She leaves me in the cold, drowning in misery and guilt. My dress is soaking in blood. My mother's blood.

I fall to the ground, freezing.

****

I wake up, panting and shivering.

I quickly sit up on the bed, hugging my legs tight. I can't breathe. I can't move. I sit still in the same position for a couple of minutes before I gather the courage to reach for my phone and call Alex.

"Maybe it's time you get back on your pills, Isa."

"I'm not going back to those pills again. They weren't even helping. Some mornings, I used to wake up sweating and shivering and shaken. What's the f*****g point of taking them when I still wake up like this?"

"Or maybe it's time you get a shrink."

"I've seen a million therapists, Alex."

"God! Your math is s**t. You've only seen a total of three shrinks." He growls. "The third one, you didn't even show up for a single session. You gave neither a chance. You weren't even talking to them. How the f**k would they help if you're not willing to share your problems with them? If you don't talk, how the f**k will they do their job?"

"I used to talk."

"Well, that's funny. Coz you forgot to tell them the part where you blame yourself for your mother's death."

"It was my fault, Alex. I should have fetched the doll instead."

"And then mom would've blamed herself for the rest of eternity!" He sighs. "It was not your fault, Isabel."

"Then why do I keep having these nightmares of mom blaming me for it?"

"Because in your sick twisted mind, that's what you believe. And it's not true. You have to see a therapist, dude."

Silence stretches between us for a moment, the feeling of fear replaced with disappointment.

"Isn't it funny?"

"What?"

I sigh in despair.

"I got the company. I got the house. I got the money. Harvey is dead. But I'm still sad and miserable. I still get nightmares. I still wake up and freeze in bed. I'm still that little broken girl who blames herself for her mother's death. When will it ever stop, Alex?"

"When you see a shrink." He pauses. "And actually talk this time round."

"I love you, Alex." I say after a short moment of silence.

"Is that a yes?" He asks happily. "Will you talk to a therapist?"

"I'll think about it."

But I know I won't think about it. Alex and I have had this discussion a million times. I don't want to see a therapist. I know therapy works, for some people but not me. I'm not a fan of opening up, especially not to strangers.

I have a cool shower to shake off the last shreds of the nightmare. Thank God it's Saturday so I don't have to go to work. And I don't have to see Erik's stupid face. What he did last night was so immature. Embarrassing and humiliating me infront of all those people! Making me wear the same exact dress like his girlfriend's. People must have thought I'm competing with his girlfriend. I kinda liked her though. She seems like a nice person. She deserves a grown man who's not obsessed with getting even with his ex. If you ask me, Erik is an embarrassing boyfriend.

I left the party feeling stupid for attending it. I should have said no but the stupid asshole wouldn't have let me attend my graduation. Erik is a f*****g monster!

There's a knock on the door after I slide into my black dress. It's Haman, the housekeeper, dressed in his usual uniform. White shirt and black pants with leather loafers.

"You have a visitor downstairs, Mrs. Ford."

"I told you to stop calling me Mrs. Ford!" I snap. "My name is Ruby!"

The tall middle-aged man stares at me in shock and confusion.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Don't apologise, Ms. Ruby."

"Just Ruby, please."

"Noted."

I sigh.

"Who is this visitor?"

"Mrs. Ford-"

"I just asked you not to call me that." I cut him off.

"No, I mean that Mrs. Ford is here to see you, Ruby." He says politely. "Harvey's first wife."

*****