THE HIDDEN TEARS OF AFRICA

THE ACTING WIDOW ?

POV: Wife

I've never experienced anything more wonderful than love, and sharing my life with the person I dubbed my soulmate gave me the best company and unquestionably the best experiences of my whole life.

While writing this somber essay that makes me cry out loud, I began by praising love and the wonderful times it may bring about so that you might understand the mixed emotions that are filling my heart.

The phrase seems so strange, but I'm actually a virtual widow with a child whose spouse is still alive. I suppose I should say that I'm an acting widow.

I was the happiest woman alive, and getting married was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I was lavished with love, care, and attention, and I lived my best moments while being treated like a queen. Above all, I was a wonderful support to my husband. We had a wonderful relationship up until family, relatives, and financial concerns started to interfere.

The Angel of Sorrow crucified our family's happiness and greatest times while establishing destitution. Life became challenging, it became impossible to pay the bills, there were no appropriate meals available, and that once-happy marriage was slowly deteriorating into a sour one.

The only solution my husband could come up with was taking a backroads journey to Europe. He needed to find solutions to get us out of the pit of poverty, to make sure that all of our demeaning relatives will be envious of us, and to ensure that our only son would receive the best education and upbringing.

Living in fear that I would lose my husband on this dangerous journey, I cried out every single tear in my eyes and lived like a widow.

In order to provide for the requirements of my one and only child, as well as to ensure his success, I also lived the life of a single mother.

Years went by without any contact with my husband, without knowing where my soulmate was, and without knowing the state of my life partner—whether he was still alive or had passed away.

I miss every single minute from that time, including the kind comments, kisses, hugs, and all of the other moments we spent together.

You can only imagine the agony of being left without a husband for more than ten years, the stress of having to visit the hospital and take medication, the worry of getting remarried, and the patience of waiting for the news that he was alive, well, and healthy.

My heart was torn beyond repair, I was disappointed and outraged, but at the same time, happiness transcended every negative emotion I felt for him after unexpectedly and uninformedly coming across him. The hardest part is why, after ten years, he never even called. These ideas kept coming to mind.

POV: Husband

Ten years have passed since I left my family behind in order to live the life of luxury I had always dreamed of, be the man I always wanted to be, and please my family.

After making the most treacherous journey to Europe, I had the impression that life would be simpler there and that I would be able to dig up money at will. I believed that wealth had already been created and was just waiting for me to arrive, but I was mistaken.

I experienced difficulties nonstop. I was unable to phone my family to see how they were doing because I was afraid that if I did, they would find out that I was not doing well, which would make the situation worse.

I couldn't continue to live with this guilt, so I wanted to do what was right. I kept wondering about my wife's whereabouts, whether she had found love again, and how they were doing. I didn't want to lose my queen and my one and only prince.

How will my wife feel knowing that I was brutally beaten up and imprisoned for years during that dangerous journey, how will she feel knowing that I spent two years fighting for my health during the recovery process, and that I have only recently begun earning a high salary after spending seven years in different prisons?

After so much blessings and earning I decided to fly back home and Coming back home was the most beautiful feelings ever and doing it as a surprise was anticipated as even much better, but things didn’t work as expected.

POV: wife

My heart was torn beyond repair, I was disappointed and outraged, but at the same time, happiness transcended every negative emotion I felt for him after unexpectedly and uninformedly coming across him. The hardest part is why, after ten years, he never even called. These ideas kept coming to mind.

Is he the same person I fell in love with, and is he now remarried? How on earth can a father abandon his family without even making a phone call.

After spending a week together, I recognized that he wasn't the man I married; instead, he was acting more like an expat than the man I had married. I was screamed at, insulted, and emotionally depleted every single day.

When there was an abundance of money involved, the beautiful love that we were experiencing and yearned to continue became domestic violence.

Even after all the work, all the waiting, all the tears, all the sleepless nights, and all the prayers for his survival and fortune, that same wealth destroyed my happiness as a wife and changed me into a domestic slave.

POV: Son

I was raised without my father, without his support, without knowing what it meant to be loved by a father and a son, and I always assumed I may be an orphan since my mother never wanted to admit it when I asked her about my father.

I heard that divorced couples don't live together, so where might he be and did he divorce my mother? And I had to think that my father was still alive and earning money for the family somewhere else.

The long wait was over when my father unexpectedly returned from abroad. Seeing him was meant to be one of my fondest memories, but I didn't recognize him right away, and it took some time for us to get to know one another.

After spending a few weeks with my Dad, I came to the conclusion that he was the best man on the planet. He truly went above and beyond to make sure I was happy, never wanted me to worry, and gave me everything I ever asked for when I was just 14 years old and my friends were jealous of me.

He constantly yelled at my mother, verbally abused her, and called her all kinds of names right in front of me. This bothered me because I wondered why my sweet father would behave this way towards my mother. Could it be that she is getting older and no longer finds her attractive? If so, will they get divorced and I will only have one parent to live with instead of both? Then I decided that it would be preferable to discuss this subject with Grandma.

POV wife

After every situation I encountered, I had faith that, with time and patience, everything would work out, he would regain his wits, and we would have fulfilling lives once more.

I tried to be patient with his actions, but the more I tried, the worse they got. I finally made the decision to have a mature conversation with him to let him know how hurtful I was in that circumstance.

After understanding everything I've been through,

wife asks why I'm being treated like a slave in your own house.

Husband : I don't recall being mean to you; all I did was remind you of your responsibilities as a wife and to stay in your lane.

Wife: But how could I cross over into your lane when everything I had done before you and am doing now is for the benefit of this family, the one we had planned for long before money got in the way?

Husband :Are you saying that the same money I sought after to make you happy changed me? If so, you could argue that it interfered with my ability to make you happy. Oh, you ungrateful b***h. So, it turns out that everything my family said about you and what you've been up to while I was away was true.