Chapter 1

3194 Words
Meghan's POV “Will she be fine?” I asked the doctor and couldn’t bear to look at my girl who seemed to lose a lot of energy. “Yes, she is fine. Her ear infection caused the fever.” The doctor replied but I couldn’t look away from my angel. I tried to pay attention when the doctor guided me on how to give her medicines. She was tiny and I was so inexperienced. I got out and looked at my cell phone to call for Uber but there was no battery. She was given the medicines in the clinic so I didn’t worry about her medication but I wanted to take her home sooner or it was going to rain. This area was quite a high end and didn’t have taxis at this time of the day. I guess I had to wait until one passes by. My husband was a famous lawyer and I could certainly afford to spend a lot more when it concerned our daughter. I on the other hand was a homemaker. My last job was the reason that my husband doesn’t like it when I leave home unnecessarily. But, the best part? He can't look at me as a freeloader. I was thirteen when I started working to support Josh, my husband, my first love, and my will to live. I did everything for him to continue his studies. He knew I wasn’t after him for his money. We had seen every hard time together. I looked at my daughter and smiled. Contemplating for a few seconds I went inside a restaurant. My baby opened her eyes and I stared in her blue eyes for a few seconds and smiled. “We will be alright,” I held her close. The person at the entrance welcomed me and I was happy to find the table when he guided me in. I was almost the height of the waiter. Well, that was me. A tall girl...not the sexy type...in fact, the weird type. But my husband was tall enough to tower me so it was all good. Most of the tables were occupied. It was a fine and romantic evening here. I looked at my daughter and smiled as she yawned. A person came forward to take my coat and I smiled as they managed a baby cot at my table. “Thank you,” I said smiling and forwarded my cell phone saying, “Can you charge it?” The person who brought the baby cot took my cell phone and I looked at the menu to order a soup. I was about to make the order when I heard some people gasping or clapping. I looked in the direction to find a woman saying yes to the man on his one knee in front of her. I too smiled and was about to clap but got static looking at the man when he rose up. My throat felt dry and I blinked to make sure the scene playing in front of me wasn’t a dream. How on earth it was possible? Everyone knows that my husband is a married man. He was a very well renowned lawyer because of his IQ and sharp mind. I raised from my place though my legs wobbled. How could he do this to me? What I ever did wrong to him. I loved Josh with all I got. It must be some misunderstanding. It has to be. I gulped before picking my daughter who was almost drifting into sleep. I took a step in their direction but only found them kissing. I blinked my tears away while all that clapping shattered my very soul. I turned away and looked at the waiter to ask for my cellphone. I got out and found a taxi where a woman was paying her fare. I didn’t say anything and get into the taxi. I recalled how one of my friends told me about my husband. At that time I thought she was jealous of me. But now it was becoming all too clear. Josh could never get over my past. I should have known better than expecting any man on this earth to live his life with me. But it was Josh…I have known him since forever. There…there has to be some explanation. Josh didn’t come even after it was after eight in the night. I didn’t cook or clean. I wonder if he would even notice. f**k this house...I had this constant pain in my guts and my head was throbbing with all the anxiety. He had been avoiding me for the last many weeks. It started when someone at one of his parties recognized me. I kissed my baby’s head. I was beyond pissed. I couldn't stop shaking my leg as I again rubbed another lone tear from my cheeks. I have to be strong. You are strong. This can't go like this. You can't let it be destroyed. Even the thought was enough to sink my heart. It wasn’t like Josh didn’t know about me. He knew all this time what I did to make a living for us in the past. But he was distant since the incident of someone calling me Lizzy in one of his important dinners. He did mention my profession in the past whenever he loses it but I thought he was only frustrated. But this past month was surely different. How can he do this? Our three years of marriage, three years of growth...and, twelve years of companionship. I wonder what he was up to. I got up to walk to the window. This house was sure big and had a huge lawn. We never belonged to something like here. I…knew it was Josh who had gotten us all of this. He was smart, cunning, would do anything to win a case. Do I even stand a chance if he is…leaving me? Will he leave me? He can’t do this. He said he loved me. He wanted Becky to…to happen. I had to do something. He loves me…he will listen. I called Ruby. I needed someone. She was not only Josh’s mother but everything to me. She was my rock, my support system and my loving godmother. Ruby and my mother, were fast friends and coworkers. After my mother’s death, she took me in and also introduced me to the world that would seem to never leave me. My mouth was bitter recalling how I always thought I was earning money and there was nothing wrong with dancing in a strip club. I had always seen my mom working in one. And, until I realized what I was doing or how Josh was bitter about this job it was…already too late. I had people who were there to only see me moving around the pole. My height always got me the place the most apparent. It paid really well even after Ruby quit because of her knees. Ruby had never let me feel anything but family. I stared at the phone when Ruby didn’t pick up and I wonder if she knew about it. For a moment I was uncertain but then I shook the thought away. If she had any other plans for me she would have never saved for our expensive wedding gifts. She was happy for us. I was still in my deep thoughts when I heard the knock on our front door. It couldn’t be Josh he had the keys. I opened the door and there stood Ruby. She was wearing a long black coat and had her blond hair straight and down. She was only in her late forties and does look like a model. I couldn’t help but jumped to hug her tight. “How are you, honey?” She sucked in the air and I couldn’t help but hug her tight and smell home. “I don’t know what to do Ruby. I don’t know…” I sobbed and she took me in. She came with a glass of water and started. “I received a call from Josh. I am…I am so sorry.” I looked at her shocked. “No, he can’t do this…if he…if he has told you it means he is serious about it.” I pulled my hair back and wonder what to do. “I can’t leave Josh…he can’t do this with me. He can’t…” “He met her in his law college and let her join his firm a few months ago.” She said making me want to kill myself. “Exactly how many months ago,” I asked, “Four,” She said and I winced. I was here carrying his child and he was cheating on me. I wasn’t going to leave him. I will never leave from here. “Why?” I sobbed and Ruby held me up. “He is a bastard. He…doesn’t deserve a woman like you…we…we will claim everything we ever spent on him. You, Becky and I will be alright.” “No, no, no, no, no, Ruby…at least try to make him understand. I am his wife. He is Josh…our Josh. How can he not have feelings for me now? You know right? You know he is the only man who ever came into my life. Please tell him. Please… maybe he changes his mind.” I was losing it bad. I didn’t know what to do. He didn’t come that night. Supposedly, he found me walking out of the restaurant and didn’t want to see me. Of course, Ruby stayed as family does. We got an eviction notice along with the divorce papers. And, though I didn’t want to take things in the court it was inevitable. My one part wanted to kill him and on the other side I long for the moment he will come to say sorry and hold Becky. How could he leave our Becky? We shifted to an apartment Ruby could manage. We had already spent a lot on the case. I would cry standing under the shower and recall the times he was obsessive and tense for not getting me pregnant. Was it all because he was worried for him? Every day was a new battle. We try our best not to discuss Josh but somehow Ruby and I would come to him. It would always come to him. And, one day I woke up with a very cruel thought. No matter how much I tried I couldn’t give up on the idea. And, the moment I walked out to find Ruby already setting the table for me I said, “Ruby…I want to give up Becky to…her…father.” “What is this nonsense? You can’t give up on your daughter. Not to that man!” “Do what? You were a pole dancer. I was a pole dancer. What…she…?” I got my words stuck in my throat. “It is decided. She will be with her father.” I said making Ruby gape her mouth as she looked at me in horror. “Don’t you dare say anything about my Becky? And, if you haven’t noticed...that bastard had not once asked his right to even visit Becky. Do you think he wants her?” Her voice trembled with anger and I gulped hard and heard Becky crying. I went to pick her up. Ruby would take Becky out of my room in the morning so I keep on sleeping. “And, think about you? Will you be able to stay away from Becky?” Ruby yelled following me while I kissed my baby’s head before saying in final. “No…but I have to. For her better future? With her father, she might be not be loved but she will be…a lawyer.” I said and kissed her harder. “Don’t do this. Our work was our past. We are not going to make the same mistakes again.” She said and I looked at her with doubt. “You have given all of your savings to let him open his firm. I gave all of my savings to help him buy that house or pay his tuition. He was always smart, Ruby. Being a lawyer really suits him.” I shrugged my shoulders before looking at my baby. “We two can bring her up just fine,” Ruby said and I looked at her lost. “No…no…I will not be a pole dancer again. I will never live a day to make a bad example for my daughter. I started dancing thinking it is fine because I saw my mother doing the same. I…I don’t want her to live with me. She…she should stay with her…CUNNING FATHER. And, be the meanest girl.” I said and made Ruby really mad. She didn’t want to have any ties with Josh. I passed the rest of the day looking for jobs. Mostly I went to look for cleaning jobs or full time babysitting jobs. I was open to any kind of labour and hoped I could land a job soon. In the evening I made Becky put on the best dress and called Josh in case he decides to pick her up. Two rings burnt my ear before I heard, “Hello,” I took a sharp breath. There was a pang of pain in my chest but I gathered myself. “Josh…I want one last favour.” I said and the other line kept quiet before he said, “Go on.” “Can you…can you keep Becky? I…If I am not worth being your wife. I think Becky shouldn’t have a mother like me. What…what future she will have with me?” “What are you talking about?” He cut me off. “I…I will never come to see her. I will never visit her. I swear. But…don’t you think it is better for her to live a life being a lawyer’s daughter and not…mine.” There was a silence on the other side before he said, “If I wanted Becky I would have never left you or my mother. I…I have worked very hard to come where I am today, Meghan. Three of you can give me nothing but disgust. I thought I could go on with you but…I was wrong. I have done nothing wrong to deserve this. And, keeping Becky…will not help. Besides, you are just twenty-four. And, not to forget have admirers in that place.” I cut the call before pressing my fist against my mouth. I was…I was so stupid. I was so stupid to always think that I will have a different life than most of my coworkers. In the end, I was what I never wanted to be. A single mother…something my mother was too. Ruby was too. And, all of my colleagues were too. I could give anything to my daughter but not a father’s love. He literally had millions but would be so mean to not accept his own daughter. He was fine at the time of marrying me. But then I recalled how he was only starting his firm at that moment. He…he wanted Ruby’s money. My money…I sobbed and shed endless tears. I knew I can't do this. I was weak. I was literally nothing if I wasn't a pole dancer that...I refuse to be. I got a call from one of the jobs and accepted being a maid in a mansion. The work was crazy and far but the salary wasn’t bad. I could pay the rent or buy groceries. On the other hand, Ruby stayed home to take care of Becky. She also takes on babysitting two more babies from the nearby apartments. Ruby didn’t tell me but I could tell she was going bitter with each passing day. Just like me, she didn’t see this coming. Every day was a new battle. And, not talking about Josh became a silent agreement after our last hearing where our divorce was finalized. I got nothing because it was easy for him to prove me a cheating wife because of my past. He acted as if he never knew about my past. I tried to work myself to death. There was only a couple where I worked. And, they were really amazed by my services. It had been two months and things were going smooth until the day I was given a termination letter. They were moving out for six months and didn’t require my services anymore. The couple did offer me two week’s salary and I tried not to break down. I was positive I will take on any job this month. And, how much I wanted any stable job. No matter what. I was about to cross the road at midnight but gasped noticing a car tossed in the curb of the street. The car was hit really bad and was tossed upside down. I got my cellphone out to call for an emergency. There was no one. I crossed the road to call anyone who was inside. “Oh my God,” I gasped looking at the arm that fell out almost lifeless. I almost ran to him and held his hand checking his pulse with my thumb. “Can you move?” I asked but there was no voice. He was alive. I held his hand tighter before getting in to see if I can move him. “Oh my God,…I have called for an emergency. Don’t move…ok? Keep your eyes open. Hey?” I tapped his cheeks to keep him conscious. His eyelids moved a little as he looked at me. His lips trembled. I wonder if he was trying to say something or in pain. He must be in a lot of pain with all the blood that was splattered on his windshield. My hands were frozen. He was sure on the verge of dying. I thought to make the call again and was about to get out of his car. “…You will be fine,” I said but he held my hand tighter. I wonder if he was dying. Oh God…please no. I hope you liked the chapter. And, ready for this very different ride. Expect a lot of dramatic and emotional stuff with those kinds of scenes of course, Have a great day. I am feeling a little down today...but hey? the second chapter for this book is ready and you will find it tomorrow. F.a.c.e.b.o.o.k Page: Ashleh Queen I.n.s.t.a.g.r.a.m: theashlehqueen T.w.i.t.t.e.r: AshlehQ
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