CHAPTER 5
So Grandma Lucy’s done praying, but she’s still got the mic, and now she’s droning on about the day of salvation. I can tell she’s super spiritual because she’s using all the right phrases, the kinds of things Sandy and her women’s Bible study ladies used to gab about. Redemption and sanctification and glorify this and magnify that. Some people really need to get over themselves, know what I mean? I’ve been staring at the time on my phone now for seven minutes straight, and Jake hasn’t made an attempt to move. Seven stinking minutes, but it feels like an eternity. And after an eighty-six-hour long labor, I know what an eternity feels like.
I’d already been in the hospital on bed rest for four weeks. I was so stoked when I finally went into labor. I couldn’t get her out fast eno
