Keeping Secrets

Chapter Two

T w o:

F l o r e n c e:

I texted Charlotte before I replied to my other friends. I needed her to pretend I stayed at her house last night before Emma and Kevin got any other ideas. If I was honest, I really didn't mind telling them about Eric and I, I trusted them enough to not blab their mouths to everyone, even if I knew it was very hard for them to do sometimes. It wasn't me that didn't want to tell our friends, it was Eric.

I always wondered why he was so secretive about it. I mean, he knew by now I understood he didn't want a relationship didn't he? Was there something wrong with me? Was he embarrassed by me? Why was it always on his terms? These were the questions running through my mind as the water cascaded down my body in the shower. I was getting myself riled up for no reason, I knew I would never ask Eric any of the things I wanted to, I didn't want to seem needy or like I cared that much.

I finished in the shower and checked my phone again. Emma had called me twice since I had left my room to go and shower. I rolled my eyes and smiled. She really needs to calm down, I thought to myself. I got changed into a pair of jeans, a baggy sweatshirt and my converse before attempting to throw my messy brown hair into a pony tail. I always like to keep my hair just below my shoulders but it had grown out a little, still not enough to put up without little strands of hair falling out. I pinned them back up and grabbed my phone to call Emma.

"Hey!" she said as soon as she answered. I winced at her loudness, holding the phone a bit father from my ear for a second.

"Hello Emma." I said unenthusiastically.

"Were going to the mall for lunch. Meet us there in a half an hour. That is, unless you have other plans like you did last night. You better tell us everything Florence." She said brightly without taking a breath. I laughed lightly at her.

"There's nothing to tell. I'll see you there." I hung up before she could begin to rant on about something else.

I looked at myself quickly in the mirror one last time before grabbing my phone and money. Fetching my car keys from the bowl on the kitchen island and heading out the door, I quickly said goodbye to my dad and made my way to the mall.

The drive was quick but it felt like forever when my thoughts about Eric tumbled around in my mind, I really needed to stop but I just couldn't. I was trying to weigh up my options but there really wasn't many. I didn't want to think about it anymore because I felt some uncertainty about the whole situation, I really needed to have a talk with Eric.

I parked my car and found Emma, Kevin and Charlotte waiting at the entrance of the mall for me. We headed straight for the food court. It wasn't until I sitting there with my meatball marinara sub that I realized how hungry I actually was, I hadn't eaten anything today. Charlotte sat down across from me and looked around, probably trying to find Kevin and Emma. I tucked in without saying a word.

"Hungry?" she asked me, her signature dark eyeliner made her hazel eyes to pop.

"Mmm." I attempted to talk with a mouthful of my sandwich in my mouth. I noticed she was trying to find the words to talk, which was unusual for Charlotte.

She was always very straight with everyone, she didn't care about offending anyone and she just told us to deal with it. Sometimes she could come across as cold but she was just a strong minded and opinionated girl, she was sweeter with us too because of course, we were her friends. She looked down at her plate and then back up at me again, opening and closing her mouth like she couldn't get the words out.

"So why am I lying for you?" she finally spoke. I felt uncomfortable now, I didn't know what to say.

"I was out last night and I don't want anyone to know where I was."

"Why?" she asked quickly.

"I- I just, oh Charlotte it's so confusing right now. I really hate lying and my mind just can't stop thinking about everything even though I want it to stop. I want to tell you three all about it but I can't." I finally blurted out, avoiding eye contact with her.

"It's okay." She said, trying to be soothing but I knew she was bad at this kind of stuff sometimes, emotions. "Why can't you tell us?" she added.

"I just can't, not right now." Our conversation stopped completely then, because we could hear Emma and Kevin coming towards our table.

Emma was an overly enthusiastic but sweet girl; she was this big character and was always so care-free, happy and just so over-joyed with everything. Kevin was like the male version of Emma, he was also very camp and he could be a little bitchy at times but he was still an amazing friend. The two paired together were even louder than when they were on their own which was hard to believe. They plopped their trays down on the table and sat down either side of me.

"So..." Kevin smacked his hands together and smiled very brightly at me with wide, excited eyes. "Where were you last night?" he said.

"I stayed at Charlotte's." I said, trying to sound convincing before eating another bite of my sub.

"Oh thanks for the invite Charlotte." He looked at Charlotte in the corner of his eye. She kept her usual bored expression on her face.

"No problem." She said sarcastically. We continued to chat and catch up while eating our lunch until I seen a familiar face from the corner of my eye. I turned around and seen Eric and his friends coming our way. He glanced at me casually and then looked away not saying anything. They were still a good bit away from us. I looked away and continued talking to Emma animatedly telling us about how she finally bought this pair of shoes she'd been wanting for ages when a voice interrupted our conversation.

"Hey! Charlotte!" a guy called that was standing beside Eric. We all turned our heads to see him waving his arm uncontrollably at her. Her cheeks flushed a light pink color and she gave him a wave back, laughing softly at him. He walked quickly over to our table and stood beside her, the group of boys following behind.

"Hey." She said quietly, it was unusual for her to be shy around anyone, maybe she liked him.

"How's it going?" he smiled widely at her, showing his perfect white teeth.

"I'm good, how about you Evan?" she smiled back.

"I'm fine, hey I was just wondering whether you wanted to come to our party next Saturday? You can all come too if you want?" he looked around the table at all of this. This guy seems way too nice to be hanging around with the jocks, I thought.

"Um, sure." She smiled, I looked at how is expression changed quickly, he was so happy with her answer, he was genuinely delighted.

"Great-" he began but was cut off.

"Evan, hurry up we have places to be." Mick called out in a bored tone.

"Well, I'll see you." He said goodbye and then left with the group. The table was silent for a minute until we knew they were not in earshot.

"Sooo..." Kevin said in the same tone he used with me a while ago, except maybe a little more excited. He looked straight at Charlotte and grinned. "Who's the hunk?" Charlotte went even pinker now.

"Because I'm with Grade 12 photography, I'm in his class. We got talking, he's actually really nice. He doesn't seem like the rest of his friends." She said, a bit more quiet than she usually is.

"You like him. I can tell." Emma smiled at her.

"Do not." She tried to lie. The pair continued to quiz her about Evan. I was happy for her really; I just sometimes wished Eric would pay be more attention when we see each other out like Evan had done with her. I wasn't the type of girl who fed off of boys' attention but was even a smile and a "Hey" too much to ask from him sometimes? He didn't have to act like we were complete strangers. That's just the way it is Florence, you knew it would be like this from the start, I thought. I wasn't supposed to care, it wouldn't make any difference anyway. Just then, my phone pinged and I quickly looked at the message.

Eric: Hey, want to hang out tonight?

My expression sank, I really didn't know what to do. I wanted to see him but I also wanted to talk to him about everything and maybe tonight wasn't the time or place, I needed to get my mind off of him for a while so declining might be the better option. I wish I could just ask advice from my friends, but I knew better. I sighed to myself, staring blankly at the screen now, trying to make up my mind.