The Alpha Emperor's Courtesan

Thoughts

Rin woke me up early the next morning. She shook me hard and barked, “awake”.

My first word of the day, and it was in my own language. In a strange way that felt like a victory after everything she had put me through the previous day.

I had no idea what to expect. I wasn’t familiar with the routines of this place yet, and it seemed doubtful that there even were any routines in a place that was governed by the whims of powerful men.

She threw something at me - an item of clothing, I guessed, and then said something I didn’t understand.

My heart sank slightly; apparently ‘awake’ was the only word I was going to understand today.

I sighed, and she left me alone. I guessed that I had been told to get dressed or to come down to eat or something, and so I did that.

She was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me, and I could tell that she was scrutinizing me as she watched me approach.

She was making me feel as if she was surveying a purchase again, and I still didn’t know if she believed I was a bargain or that I wasn’t worth the cost of the food and clothing she was providing me with.

It didn’t really matter what she thought; either I was good enough to earn my freedom one day, or I was not good enough and I would no doubt be discarded and left to make my own way in this horrendous city.

As I sat alone at the table to eat the meager meal that was presented to me by a man I had never seen before, I couldn’t help thinking about Jax. He had been on my mind more than I ever could have imagined when I first met him back in our old life.

I had found found him attractive, but not remarkably so, and he was interesting without ever truly catching my attention enough to spend any significant period of time together. Our journey to Rome was the first time I had ever spoken to Jax properly, and I found that we had far more in common than I would have guessed.

Perhaps it was just because we had both been uprooted from everything that we knew, and that shared experience meant we thought about each other a little differently now.

I hadn’t asked him directly whether he had developed feelings for me. I never had the chance; if I had known we would be separated as soon as we arrived in the city I might have asked him before we got here. Not that it would have made a difference - we would still have been split up, and I would still be thinking about him whether he felt something more than friendship for me or not.

Rin was stood watching me from the doorway, and she had narrowed her eyes so that she looked like a bird of prey observing it’s victim.

I sat up a little straighter and reached for another piece of bread to eat - I was not going to let this woman intimidate me, and I hoped that I looked as defiant as I felt as I took a bite from the slice of bread.

She folded her arms across her chest and began to tap her foot impatiently as I enjoyed my food with a wry smile on my lips.

When I had finished the food I was tempted to reach across to pick up some more, even though I was no longer hungry, but Rin looked like the human equivalent of a raging storm and so I thought better of it.

I brushed myself off, finished my drink in one large mouthful, and then approached Rin. I fully expected her to slap me hard across the face, but she didn’t - she pushed me in the direction of the room I had been led to on my first night, and I realized that I was going to have to bathe with her watching me again.

It had never bothered me when people saw me with no clothes on before, but Rin made me feel so much like a commodity that I didn’t want her to see me. She was probably making notes to take to the Emperor… to Caius.

I wasn’t going to let myself think of him as Emperor. He had not earned my respect, and I did not want to call him that. I would never consider him Emperor of anything, no matter what my life in this city was going to be like.

I was calling him by his name over and over again as I stepped into the warm jasmine scented water to bathe myself.

Caius. Caius… not Emperor… never Emperor… Caius…

As I waded deeper into the water, I felt a flash of anger rather unexpectedly. That man… that enraging, arrogant man had consumed my thoughts again.

I had been thinking about Jax and where he might be. I had been trying to figure out a way to find out whether he was safe, and to ask him if he would help me to escape so that we could find sanctuary together somewhere far from here. And yet Caius had crept his way in and replaced Jax as the object of my over-active imagination.

“Talia.”

I had been daydreaming for too long, and Rin barked my name again as she held out a pale blue gauzy dress. I guessed that this was my outfit for the day, whether I liked it or not, and I emerged from the bath and took the dress from her along with a piece of fine quality lined to dry myself.

She did me the courtesy of looking away, which I was grateful for, but when she turned back around she looked just as cold as ever.

“Talia…”

She said my name again, followed by something I didn’t understand. I was willing to learn her language, but talking to me as if I was fluent already with absolutely no context was not going to achieve anything, and I wished she would be reasonable and understanding of that.

It meant that I had no idea what was about to happen as I followed her out of the room with the warm pool of water in, and past the room I had just had my breakfast in which was now occupied by the other women I shared this dwelling with.

We were leaving the house again. I was wearing the blue dress, which was pretty but rather unremarkable compared to the others I had seen, and she had not arranged my hair elaborately or adorned me with elaborate jewellery this time.

There was no horse drawn chariot awaiting us, but the same beast of a man stepped out - seemingly from nowhere - and walked directly behind me and Rin as she headed confidently down the street down the road I knew led to the Senate, and the bustling marketplace that filled it.