A Sinful Affair

2nd Affair

(STEPHEN BLAIZE YUI’S POINT OF VIEW)

WHAT'S taking her so long?

Anong oras na ba? it's 1am at andito pa ako sa school grounds waiting for her. I’m waiting for 5 long hours here. Tinatawagan ko di sinasagot nagriring lang naman ang phone niya, She never did this yung tatakasan ako kasi pag ayaw niyang sumabay papalayasin niya ako.

She always does that, foolproof.

I stomped my feet and hugged myself as I feel the cold thin air. “Okay, you ‘re not funny anymore,” I whispered at saka ako umalis para hanapin siya sa campus. Ang alam ko kasi ay hindi pa siya umaalis. I have knowm Mila since we are young, sabay pa kami naliligo dati, nahiya na lang siya nung nagkakaboobs na siya at na-realize n’yang maliit ang boobs n’ya.

Okay just kidding.

Ang point ko lang ay gano’n kami ka close. Alam namin sa isa't isa that we like each other pero gusto niya ganito lang kami. Ayaw niyang i-advance ang relationship namin into something serious.

Hindi pa rin kami nagkikiss dalawa. She finds it uncomfortable but I did kiss her once, when she's asleep and she doesn't know it but secret lang natin iyon ha? Mila might kill me if she finds out that I secretly stole her first kiss.

I sighed when I can't find her anymore. “Maybe she went home without me?” I asked myself at bumalik ako sa carpark and decided to leave.

Baka nga wala na siya at ako uuwi na lang, papagalitan ko na lang siya bukas at hihingi ng kiss as a peace offering kahit alam kong impossible naman.

While driving out, I saw a familiar silhouette walking palabas ng school grounds, siningkitan ko ang mga mata and I saw Mila, bumusina ako to catch her attention pero ‘di siya lumingon. She was walking like a zombie na walang pakialam.

 Hininto ko ang sasakyan ko para pahintuin siya.

 “Mila!” tawag ko sa kaniya pero ‘di pa rin siya lumingon kaya lumabas na ako ng sasakyan ko at hinabol siya.

 “Mila, bakit ba ‘di mo ako nililingon? saan ka ba nanggaling, did you forget na susunduin kit--” I stopped asking her ng makita ko ang itsura niya.

It was wrong, something is wrong.

Her blouse was partly open and her skirt is not in place,  Tinuon ko ang attensyon ko sa mukha niya and I saw several bruises and marks on her neck. Madilim na but the streetlight made it visible.

 “Sorry…” mahina niyang bulong sa akin and she started shaking.

“What happened?” tanong ko sa kaniya at kunot na ang noo ko.

“Sorry, I'm sorry. Please forgive me.” She said once again and she started breaking down. She started to cry like a baby and when I realized it, I just want to f*****g kill someone.

Bakit di ko man lang naramdaman na may mali na and I just kept on waiting for her instead of saving her?

“Hindi ko sinasadya, I can't do anything.” muli niyang sabi sa akin.

I just hugged her tight to somehow ease her pain, “who did this to you? Tell me?” I asked her. Di ako makapagsalita ng maayos, Pakiramdam ko nawalan ako ng hangin.

Pakiramdam ko nawalan ako ng silbi ng mga oras na iyon. My arms can't even make her calm, she just continued crying. Those retards, why would they do this to Mila? Wala ba silang respeto sa tao?

I mean Mila might be popular because of the scam issue of her parents and some rumors that she was sleeping around and getting pimped but for f**k's sake it was not true. Minsan lang siyang nalugmok doon pero nailigtas siya at 'di na naulit ulit. She told me that the man was kind enough to stop himself when he found out that her age is the same as his son.

“Hey, come on tell me who did this? I'm going to kill him.” I told her but she remained shut. Crying all her emotions out, that's why I decided to just bring her in my car to get her calm and relaxed for a while, I took a slow drive and as time pass by.

Humihina na ang iyak niya, napalitan iyon ng pagiging tulala niya. I was trying to ask her but she remained shut, I just don't know what to do. I can't control my anger over what happened but I know that my feelings should not be my priority.

“Just take me home, I want to go home…” she finally said a word without looking at me

“Are you sure? Baka gusto mong pumunta tayo sa police and file the incident, they can help and---”

“I just want to go home, Stephen! I just want to go home!” sigaw niya sa akin and she started to cry again.

“I'm sorry,” I told her.

 “Wala kang dapat ihingi ng sorry, wala kang ginawa.” Sagot niya sa akin. Tama s’ya, wala akong nagawa. I was too late, I was there, I could have saved her, I could have done something. 

“I’m sorry kung wala akong nagawa,” I whispered. She didn’t respond, her face remained stoic, she remained emotionless as if the world had took her life away. “Uuwi na ako. Gusto ko ng umuwi at magpahinga,” she said. And I did, inuwi ko na siya sa kanila and I watched her walk silently inside the house.

Two weeks siyang hindi pumasok matapos nang nangyari. She stayed quiet at home and didn't get out of the room. I was trying to reach her pero wala, tinataboy niya ako and can't even reach the sala of her home. Her parents had no Idea of what happened, ako lang ang nakakaalam no’n at hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya matutulungan when I don't even know who is the asshole to took her innocence.

When Mila decided to go back at her studies, she remained shut down in the world. Di pa rin niya ako kinakausap at mas naging ilag siya sa lahat ng tao. Madalas tuliro, at ako hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya i-a-approach. Nawala na yung Mila na laging nakangiti sa kabila ng mga pinagdadaanan at anxieties niya.  Mas naging ilag siya sa mga tao sa paligid niya, di ko napansin na isang buwan na pala ang lumipas at wala man lang akong magawa para matulungan siya.

I realized how coward I am, kasi ang totoo ako ang umiiwas sa kaniya. Hindi niya ako kinakausap pero wala akong ginagawa para kausapin niya ako. Natatakot ako, I was really afraid. I was afraid of what will happen or how I will act in the situation.

“Guys, tingnan niyo to scandal daw ni Mila Ordoñez.” Napalingon ako sa grupo ng mga estudyante na nagkakagulo sa isang Ipad sa isang parte ng cafeteria.

“Siya ba talaga ‘yan?”

“Oo, nyeta siya nga! ang sexy oh!” another guy said. Agad akong tumayo at inagaw ang Ipad na pinagkakaguluhan nila.

 “Ano ka ba?! Ang bastos mo ha?!” sigaw ng isang babae pero di ko siya pinansin. It was a 30 minute long video of some guy whose face was blurred and Mila.

 “Saan niyo nakuha to?!” sigaw ko sa kanila.

 “Aba malay namin, nakapost lang siya sa site.” Sagot naman ng isa sa kanila. I immidiately threw Ipad on the wall causing it to break into pieces.

“What the hell did you do?!” sigaw ng isang lalaki.

“What did I do? You are watching someone get violated that's why I did that!” I told them and I walked away.

 ***

(MILA YSHNA ORDOÑEZ’S  POINT OF VIEW)

ITS' been a month since it happened and another problem arises, the video of what Seth did was circulating online and around the school and I can't even do a single thing about it. “She was your friend right? Nakakadiri talaga siya mabuti nilayuan mo na siya,” I clenched my fist when I heard some of my classmates talking behind my back, I took a glimpse and I saw Aaliyah who immediately avoided my stares.

Ano pa bang ineexpect ko? No one would try to comfort me, alam ko naman iyon.

Even my parents don’t care about what happened to me. As if parang normal lang. It's their money that counts. Nabigla na lang ako ng bumukas ang pintuan sa classroom and Stephen came rushing towards me. “Tell me who did this?!” bungad niya sa akin na parang galit na galit siya pero di ako nagsalita, I just stared at him. I can't even utter a single word. Para kasing tatanungin niya ako ng isang bagay na wala namang maniniwala sa isasagot ko.

 “The hell Mila! Just tell me who did this?! Di ko na kayang tiisin ‘tong nangyayari!” sigaw niya sa akin.

“Sa tingin mo kaya ko ring tiisin to ha? Sa tingin mo pag sinabi ko may maniniwala sa akin?!” sigaw ko pabalik sa kaniya.

“Mila, alam ko ang totong nangyari kaya ako mismo maniniwala sayo!” sigaw niya pabalik sa akin.

“Tama, alam mo nga kung anong nangyari pero nasaan ka? Nawala ka na lang bigla,” sagot ko sa kaniya  

“I thought you would be there pero parehas ka lang nila, wala ka ring magawa and I was stupid enough to think that you will stay beside me like nothing happened.” I added and I walked away from him.

Parang sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko because of it, and with every step I make paalis sa kwartong iyon, away from Stephen is their countless stares and whispers. Including Seth's winning smirk for destroying my life. Nagawa niya, He was able to show the world that I was a w***e and thanks to him all my hopes are gone.

“Mila!” naririnig ko ang boses ni Stephen but it seems like a echo na unending. My sight started to get blurry at nakaramdam na ako ng hilo.

“Mila, I’m sorry,” sabi niya ulit sa akin and I didn't know what happened next.

Tuluyan ng naging itim ang paningin ko.

I woke up in the school clinic at mga bulong narinig ko. “No, don't misunderstood what happened.Ako ang ama nung nasa tummy niya at hindi doon sa lalaki na nasa video,” it was Stephen's voice. I opened my eyes at nakita ko ang Dean ng college with the Clinic nurse na kausap si Stephen.

“I told you ‘di  ‘yon ginusto ni Mila. She was violated why can't you believe me?!” halos masigaw na iyon ni Stephen sa mukha ng Dean. Yung Dean naman ay parang ‘di naniniwala sa kaniya. Kitang- kita ko pa ang pag-iling nito sa mga sinasabi ni Stephen.

  “Stephen,” I called him at lumingon siya sa akin.

“Ano yung sinasabi mo?” I asked him, agad naman siyang lumapit sa akin and he welcomed me with a smile. Yung inis niya habang kausap si Dean ay biglang naglaho, he was faking a smile but I know that something was wrong.

“Okay, Mr. Yui. Kakausapin ko ang parents mo tungkol sa mga sinabi mo. For now iiwanan muna namin kayo,” sabi ng Dean and he left the place with the head nurse.

 “Ano yung sinasabi mo sa dean?” I asked him.

“Saka bakit ako andito? I was walking away from you right?” sunod-sunod kong tanong sa kaniya, tumango naman siya sa akin at hinawi ang buhok ko. He held my hand and he smiled lightly.

“Tama, and you collapsed while walking away from me.”

“Baka dahil sa pagod ko ito,” sagot ko sa kaniya at saka ako nagtangkang umalis sa bed but he stopped me.

“Stay, you still need to rest,” sabi niya sa akin.

“Why?”

“The head nurse told me that you are pregnant and she said  that it was the reason why you passed out,” sabi niya sa akin. Nakaramdam ako ng panginginig dahil sa narinig ko galing sa kaniya. Buntis ako, What happened that night had it’s consequence.

 “But don't worry. I told them that I am the father of the baby para ‘di ka nila pagisipan ng kung ano pa man,” dagdag pa niya sa akin as he smiled warmly.

 “No!” sigaw ko sa kaniya.

“I can't be pregnant! ‘Di ako pwedeng mabuntis!” sigaw ko sa kaniya. “Pero buntis ka, saka kumalma ka nga baka manganak ka agad,” sabi niya sa akin.

“Paano ako kakalma Stephen?! nabuntis ako dahil sa pangre-rape sa akin!” sigaw ko sa kaniya and I started to break down, bakit ba kailangan na maging ganito ang consequences ng mga kahayupan sa akin ni Seth.

Why do I have to suffer this? Naisip ko ano bang mali ang nagawa ko? Hindi ba ako mabuting anak or such? Bakit parang ang sama ng karma sa akin? “This needs to be gone! I need to kill this,” I told him and I immediately got up, I have no choice killing this karma is the only way I know to lessen the pain and stress of what's happening right now.

 “Mila, What are you talking about?!” He screamed into my face.

“What am i talking about?! I am talking my bullshit life and this f*****g baby inside me! I'm talking about getting pregnant because I was raped and talking about how I’m angry with my life right now!” sigaw ko sa kaniya.

 I just don't know how things will work for me right now, I feel so useless and empty yet gustong-gusto ako ng karma, at ng problema.

 “Of course you wouldn't understand, no one will ever understand how I feel because believes me, no one finds me important. No one loves me,” I said while crying.

“Do you think ‘di rin ako galit dahil sa nangyari sa’yo?” He asked me. “I was angry and I don't know what to do, natatakot ako na mas masaktan kita nang dahil doon. Sa tingin mo ‘di rin ako nabigla at nagalit when the head nurse told me that you are pregnant? I wanted to immediately grab someone's ass and kill it. I was feeling the same way like you, alam mo kung bakit? It's because I love you. I was accepting every consequences of this in this very minute to be someone who can hold you,” he told me. “And I'm sorry that I’m not the perfect someone because I'm a coward but I can accept everything that happened to you, “ sabi niya sa akin.

“Stephen,” tawag ko sa kaniya.

“I did it within 5 minutes,” dagdag pa niya sa akin.

“Just don't think that your alone because... I am always loving you, I am always with you.” He whispered as a teardrop fell in his eyes, umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya nang makita ko siyang umiiyak.

 “I think that was the reason why you shouldn't involve yourself around me anymore” I responded

“This was my problem and you did enough, I won't let you take this humiliation because of me just no.” I told him at tuluyan na akong tumayo mula sa kama ng clinic, he tried to stopped me pero di na ako nagpapigil pa.

As much as I want to keep him beside me right now pero hindi na pwede.