The Last Christmas On Earth

EPISODE I-5

"Apparently two nights ago they were in the mood for effusions and they hooked up in the woods behind Camden Hill, near the Megunticook Lake. What happened afterward is unknown, they were found this morning at dawn thanks to an anonymous phone call".

"Did you say two nights ago?" Helen asked, surprised.

"Yes I did" he confirmed.

"And how do you know they were there for two days?"

"You know how long I've been in this business, haven't you?"

She nodded as she wondered how two bodies might have been found right there. In the previous two days they had searched that area far and wide with every mean looking for Harry; how could they not have noticed a car with two bodies inside?

"What's the matter?" Asked the doctor, noting his perplexity.

"Nothing, I was wondering about something else" she lied. "What happened to them?"

"I don't know yet, for now, I just looked shortly, but the visual analysis showed no trauma whatsoever. When you feel ready we will proceed to the autopsy".

"...We?"

"Of course, I said we".

"And what makes you think I'm going to assist you during the autopsy?" She said, puzzled.

"My assistant is sick and you know better than me that the necrological exam cannot be done alone. You will only have to pass me the surgical instruments, it won't be the first time, isn't it?"

"Unfortunately not, it won't be" she replied disgusted, moving the still half-full glass of reddish liquid away, "and I can guarantee you that this is not the kind of experience I love to do".

"I get it," the doctor commented gravely. "Can I?" He added afterward with a raspy voice pointing at the juice; if he had waited another minute without drinking he would have fallen, choked by Helen's sandwich. She nodded, thinking that from his hunger he seemed to have just returned from jogging rather than about to do an autopsy. Then she wondered, tall and thin as he was, how could he eat all that food. He chugged the juice in one gulp, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up.

"Are you ready?" He urged her with a burlesque smile.

"I'm ready, but I don't understand what's so funny about this," Helen said, annoyed by his attitude.

"Nothing, what should be funny about doing an autopsy?" He agreed. "I'll show the way," he added then, heading toward the morgue with his lazy step while continuing to smile.

James hardly woke up, he felt like his head had been pierced by a million carpenter's nails, and it took him several minutes to get the room around him to stop. At first, that discomfort had almost bothered him, then he thought it was probably caused by the stress accumulated during the previous days and by the fact he had not rested enough, so he decided not to worry too much. The noise of the shower informed him that the bathroom was occupied by his wife, so he decided to swallow a couple of aspirins to recover and then he would come down to make coffee; as to wash and get dressed he would think later. When Eve made her appearance in the kitchen door, fully dressed and wearing a fine green pea jacket over her forearm, James had just poured coffee into the cups.

"It's still hot," he said, inviting her to sit down with a broad wave of his hand.

"I'm sorry, but I'm late."

"Don't you think it would be better if you stay with us today?" He said, disappointed.

"And you think I wouldn't want it?"

"Yeah ... but you could at least wait for Harry to wake up, you know how much he wants to greet you."

"I can't delay a minute longer, today it will be a busy day and Adam asked me to go as soon as possible."

"But why, isn't he able to work alone?" James let it slip in response.

"Are you willing to argue this morning too?" Eve fought back by throwing her eyes to the sky. James shrugged, looked down at the cup and slowly turned the spoon to melt the sugar.

"I just thought Harry would have wanted you here with us this morning, but apparently your job is more important. As always."

"Enough, I don't want to face the same subjects every day," she said, raising her arms as to surrender.

"Don't forget to warn the Scouts that Harry is not going to the camp today, otherwise they will send the bus to pick him up and they will charge us for the voyage," she added, heading towards the door.

"I'll do it," said James.

"I'll be back at five o'clock," Eve announced going out; she was already in the garden when she thought something and turned back.

"Sometimes I think you should show a little more gratitude toward Dr. Parker, in all these years he has always been close to us!" she scolded James, leaning out the door.

"I couldn't agree with you more, he has often been so close to us that I can't tell if you're more attached to work or to him ... sometimes I even wonder if I shouldn't be jealous," said James almost whispering, as if he was talking more to himself than to her. "If you asked me to take him on holiday with us to Egypt, I probably wouldn't be surprised at all," he finally declared.

Eve replied with a surprised expression that to James it seemed "you just read my mind, I was going to propose it", and he straightened up on the stool. An indecipherable flash crossed the clear eyes of the woman. "Don't be ridiculous!" She replied firmly afterward, then slammed the door and as every day called Toby to take him with her. James thought that after all, it was better that way, after what happened the previous night he didn't want the dog to buzz around the boy not until he wouldn't have understood something more. He decided that after drinking his coffee in peace he would prepare breakfast and wake him up, then he would take him for a walk with the intent to distract him and maybe to buy him a new pair of glasses. As soon as Eve's car sound faded far away, James heard a dull thump approaching, then threw the empty cup into the sink and interested he ran out. Instantly recognized the helicopter, it was a dark Black Hawk, and there was no number or a text or any other sign of identification. It was slowly flying over his house at a height of about thirty yards while a man, wrapped in a tight black suit, with a hood and strange glasses, was leaning out of one door clutching what looked like a camera.

James thought that whoever he was certainly wasn't making a documentary, so he ran inside home to get the binoculars to watch him better. The operator continued to fathom the area below until he realized he was framed in James's binoculars, then abruptly pulled back and closed the sliding door, a moment later the helicopter turned and moved away until it disappeared behind the treetops, as fast as it had arrived. James scratched his head confused, then his eyes fell on the garden and the sight of the conditions in which it had been reduced hit him like a fist in the face. In the previous two days, focused on more important matters, he had not realized the damage caused by the trampling of all these pairs of feet. He went down the stairs and approached the flowerbeds, unable to believe that it was true; not a single plant had remained healthy. He began to count a rough estimate of the damage, but an unexpected voice behind him frightened him.

"Mr. Robinson?" A boy asked; he wore a white and yellow Fedex bodice and held a bulky package in his hands. The wind was slowly dispersing the dust raised on the path by the van. Concerned as he was for his violets, James had not even heard it approaching.

"Yes ...?" He asked doubtfully, wondering what the package could contain, then he remembered that a few weeks earlier he had ordered a scale reproduction of the Giza Plateau by Internet for his son. He considered a blessing the fact that he had arrived that very day because to cheer up Harry there could have been nothing better in the world, he was sure he would have been much happier spending the morning building the plastic rather than going for a walk. He would have seized the opportunity attempting to resurrect his beloved flowerbeds; as to the new glasses, they would have thought later about it.

Stevenson turned off his mini recorder and threw it angrily onto his desk, lowered his mask around his neck and pulled off his latex gloves. "Nothing at all, damn it!" He said, taking off his medical cap to uncover his almost bald head.

"... Nothing at all?" Helen echoed.

"Not even a shred of evidence! All I can say is that my first impressions were confirmed and that the death occurred about thirty-six hours ago, but the victims show no cause of death."

"So?"

"I don't know, it's the first time something like this has happened to me," he said, almost ashamed of having to make such an admission.

"There is always the toxicological examination," offered Helen hopefully.

"It will not give us any result."

"How can you be so sure?"

"While you were staring at the ceiling trying not to vomit," the Coroner explained, pointing to some test tubes, "I tested the fabrics with the most common substances without getting any results. It remains only to analyze the samples taken with some reagents a little more particular, but I am sure that nothing good will appear."

"So what are we going to do now?" Asked Helen distressed, the investigation was certainly not starting well.

"I really don't know what to do, let me think. There is no evidence to suggest that they may have committed suicide or may have been drugged or intoxicated, or killed. They look too relaxed, not even a contracted nerve. Then they should be in full Rigor Mortis, and instead, they seem to be sleeping, rather than being dead. Do you know how many corpses I have analyzed in over thirty years ?" He added then indignantly, noticing Helen's perplexed look.

"And you have no other evidence? For example, if they had or had not yet "copulated"?"

"Whether or not they did it is irrelevant to what we're looking for. It's like if those two had died without a real reason, as if their souls had waited to fall asleep and fly away, all at once. In sync."

She eyed him with her eyebrows raised as if he was raving.

"You don't believe me, eh? And then, let's hear what happened to these guys."

"All right, let's listen to your absurd theory!" Helen challenged him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You know what's a hairdryer, don't you? You take it, you turn it on, and when you finish using it, you unplug it and in the end, you put it back in the drawer. The same thing happened to these two. They died out of the blue, as if something or someone had suddenly pulled their thorns out, you know? And the exact same thing happened to their car."

"Now what has their car to do with it?" Asked Helen, always more and more confused.

"When I arrived where they were found to carry out the preliminary inspection, the mechanic who went to pick it up was swearing badly. He tried in every way to start their car but failed; the car is new and the engine is perfect, but it won't start."

"Maybe because of a hole they broke some electrical wires, or it was flooded," Helen suggested, but the Coroner shook his head. "The guy had the laptop with him for the self-diagnosis, he connected it to the control unit and it said everything was working perfectly. Simply, the car didn't want to know how to start."

"Strange indeed," Helen said.

"And furthermore, the control unit said the last time the car was off more or less at the same time when those two kicked the bucket," he concluded.