Choice of The Alpha

1.1

I always thought turning eighteen would be one of the biggest days of my life. Finally turning a. adult is one of the biggest times in a person's life. It was definitely going to be an important time of my life. It turns out that in a way I was right about it's importance. I just never expected my life to change the way it did.

My name is Alexia, but everyone calls me Lexi. I have spent my entire life living in Minneapolis. The busy streets and noisy atmosphere were a part of my daily life. I don't know who I would be without the background noise. Anything you could ever want, you can find here. There is every type of restaurant available, and every kind of store. Sometimes we get so many tourists that it is sort of ridiculous. I like it though. This is my home.

I have always been short for my age. My mom kept telling me that I would hit a growth spurt in my teens, but I think she was just trying to make me feel better about being so short. I have dark brown, wavy hair that reaches halfway down my back. My eyes are hazel. I have been told they change color according to my mood. I have never seen it myself though.

A big part of my life has been running. I have been on the track and field team since the moment I could join. Every morning before school I take a 5-mile jog, then again after school. Running is something I love to do. It helps me to think, and the boost of adrenaline is very exciting. Whenever something frustrating happens, or I am overwhelmed, I go for a run. It helps to calm me.

My friends and I have been planning my eighteenth birthday for months now. It was finally just around the corner. My birthday is all we have been talking about. It’s going to be huge. We are planning a party at the park. We have some kids from school playing as a live band. Almost everyone is going to be there. This is going to be the party of the year. However, it turns out I will not be having the party after all.

It was a beautiful Friday night. I had just finished my nightly jog through the park. I loved running through the greenery. Every night, I ran from our tiny apartment to the park. There I would jog around the park. The sounds of the birds and the car horns helped me to relax. My mind is always working overtime and taking my nightly jog helped me to calm things down. I would run until I felt calm and relaxed. Then I would head home to get ready for bed. This night however was different. I was very relaxed after my run and ready to go lay down. As I walked through the front door, my mom called out to me.

“Lexi, can you come sit down for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.” She called out with a worry to her voice. Something was wrong.

I walked into the living room. My mom was sitting in the chair. She was hunched over with her arms on her knees. Something was bothering her. She was looking down at her phone in her lap and seemed very upset. The way she was holding her phone as tightly as she could made it seem like she was angry, but the look in her eyes suggested she was sad. This greatly worried me. It looked like she might break her phone with how she was squeezing it. On her face I saw the trace of dried tears going down her cheeks.

I walked over and sat on the couch next to her. “Mom, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” I reached out to put my hand on her arm. As I touched her, she jerked back like she was startled out of some deep thoughts. She quickly looked down at her phone and reached out to set it on the table.

She sighed. “Honey, we need to have a talk. I have some news that you are not going to like.” As she said this, she finally looked up at me. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was really worried about how I would take this news. I've never seen my mother this upset before.

“What’s going on? What has you so upset?” I was really getting worried now. What could possibly have my mom this upset? It must be something really bad.

“Well, I have a lot of different things to tell you. You are going to get upset and you are going to want to interrupt. I would really appreciate it if you let me finish before you start asking questions." She paused there waiting to see if I was going to say anything. I just nodded encouragement.

"I know this is going to be hard for you to do. This is going to be hard for you to hear but I want you to understand that this is hard for me as well. If you don’t let me finish, I have a feeling that I will not be able to get everything out.” During this, she kept wringing her hands. She would look down at her phone and only occasionally look up at me. I could tell how worried she was about how I was going to take this news.

“It’s okay mom. Whatever is going on, we can get through it together.” I tried to help her not be so worried, but it almost seemed to make it worse. Her whole face was showing just how worried she was. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line. She had her eyebrows drawn together and a glint of tears in her eyes.

“I know this is very sudden, but we are moving this weekend." She held up her hand to stop me from interrupting. "Now before you interrupt with a bunch of questions, please let me explain. There are several reasons for why we are moving, and I would like the chance to tell you before you start asking questions. I know I have always told you that we don’t have any family. I meant that, but not the way you think. We do have family. They lived in Missouri. See, when I left and moved here to Minnesota, my family wrote me off and wanted nothing to do with me. That was honestly for the best. I did not want them in your life. They are toxic people and it is best to avoid them.

Today, however, I got a call. It turns out my parents, your grandparents, died in a car crash the other day. They left their house and everything else to us. So, we need to go there. We need to take care of the funeral. We also need to deal with the house. I know this is a lot to process and I am sorry that you never knew about them. Now we need to decide what to do with everything.

Also, while I was looking into the possible market for the house, I saw that the nearby hospital is currently looking for a pediatrician. At first, my goal was going to go to deal with the funeral and try to sell the house. However, as you know, I have been looking for a position in my field for years now. It almost seems like fate. So, I called, and a friend of mine is the human resources person. When she realized who I was, they offered me the job. This is my dream job.

I know that this is short notice and very sudden. This change could be really good for us. I would finally have a position in my career, and on top of that we wouldn’t need to rent anymore. We would have our own house. This will be a chance for me to give you everything I have ever wanted to.. Our own house, a good income, and everything you could ever want. I think we need to do this and give it a chance.” She leaned back in her chair, a clear sign that she was done. Once she got it all out she just deflated. It was like it took all the energy out of her. She leaned back and closed her eyes.

I was stunned. I had no idea what was going on. Thoughts were swirling in my head. How could she do this? How can we move? She didn’t even give me any notice! My birthday party is next week! Wait, did she say that I have had grandparents this whole time? Why did she lie to me about it? Why have I never met them? What is going on?

“So, wait, let me get this straight." I started. "You are saying that I have had grandparents this entire time and I have just never met them? You told me we didn’t have any family! Why would you lie to me about them? What do you mean we are moving? How can we move? My whole life is here! My friends are here! My party is next week! We can’t move!” As all these thoughts just came blurting out, I saw the hurt look on my mom’s face. I realized that this is exactly what she was worried about. How did she think I was going to react? I really didn’t like seeing the hurt on her face. I wanted to reassure her and help her not feel so bad, but all I could think about was how she just sprung this on me. How I suddenly have a family that I will never be able to meet. How she’s suddenly having us move with absolutely no notice. How can I react in a good way just to make her feel better?

“Look, I know this is short notice. I am sorry that this is happening now, especially with your birthday coming up. You have never met your grandparents because they are not the best people in the world. I didn’t want you to have to grow up with their judgement hanging over you like I did. I was planning on telling you about them when you were old enough. It was just never the right time. I know you don’t want to move and again I am sorry about this. This could be very good for us. I got an amazing job offer. We won't have to pay rent anymore. We would have a house instead of this small apartment. Look, Bunker is a really great town. It’s not a large metropolis like Minneapolis, but the town atmosphere is amazing. There are plenty of places for you to continue your running since it is literally inside a National Forest. There is a really good school system. This will be good for us. I know you’re angry and that’s understandable. Unfortunately, we are moving and we are moving tomorrow."

As she said this she got a defiant note to her voice and sat up straight. "It would be a lot harder if we went down there just for the funeral and then came back to pack before moving. It will be easier to do it all at the same time. Besides, when they offered me the job, they asked if I could start right away. I really don’t want to lose out on that possibility. So, I really need you to work on packing your things tonight.” It seemed like she decided to ignore the hurt. I gave her the reaction she was worried about, so now she is going with the attitude of “like it or not”.

I can understand her change of attitude, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is just too sudden and absolutely crazy. I knew there would be no arguing with her at this point, but I couldn't sit by and not say anything. That is just not who I am. She raised me to speak my mind. She may regret that now.

“What is going on? How can you do this? Tell me I'm dreaming, because there is no way this can be real.” I stood up. My fists were clenched at my sides and I just wanted to yell at her. As I looked at the resolve written on her face, it made me want to yell even more. Then I noticed her eyes. The look of hurt in her eyes along with the shine of tears being held back made me realize that this was hurting her too. So instead, I turned and ran down the hallway to my room. Slamming my door, I screamed at my empty room. “What is she thinking?” I thought to myself. “We can’t just up and move with no notice. This isn’t fair. I don’t even get to say goodbye to my friends. She just ruined my whole life!”

I flopped down on my bed and tears sprang up in my eyes. I had no idea what was going through her head to spring this on me. There is so much to process. I suddenly had family I never knew about. That family is also dead. Now we are moving to another state and leaving my whole life behind. I’m not going to get to have my birthday party that we have been planning for months. All of these thoughts just went flying through my head.

I picked up my phone and started writing a message to send out as a group to all my friends. I had to tell them what was going on. I needed to vent and let them know that they are probably not going to see me again.

“My mom sprung some horrible news on me tonight. She says we are moving tomorrow! Apparently, I have had grandparents this whole time and they just died and left us their house. So now I am supposed to pack everything up and move to Missouri tomorrow! I can’t believe this is happening!” I sent the message to everyone I knew and then tossed my phone on my bed.

I went to my door and opened it just enough to yell through. “How exactly do you expect me to pack? We don’t even have boxes!”

“I picked up some moving boxes earlier today. They are in the kitchen.” She called back. I could tell that she was in her bedroom.

I opened my door the rest of the way and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. I was still fuming and didn’t want to see her right now, let alone do this. However, I knew my mom. If I didn’t pack, she would make me leave my things behind. Arguing with her never ended well. She never gave in.

After grabbing some boxes, I headed back to my room to start packing. I looked around my room and immediately felt overwhelmed. How was I supposed to pack my entire life in just a few hours? I decided that I shouldn’t even bother with packing anything nicely. I didn’t own anything breakable, so it wasn’t a big deal. It would simply take too long to try and organize and pack everything nicely. I went over to my dresser and started packing my clothes up. It took three boxes just for my jogging clothes. After packing my clothes, I grabbed everything on top of my dresser and just started tossing it into boxes. I thought about leaving out some things, like my brush, when I decided it wasn’t worth it. I can just put my hair in a ponytail and not have to worry about it. I put everything into the boxes, only leaving out my phone and charger. When I was done, I fell onto my bed and grabbed my phone.

“What? She can’t do that!”

“What about your party?”

“How can she expect you to move so quickly?”

“We don’t even get to see you to say goodbye?”

The messages on my phone just kept coming in. Reading them was making me feel worse. Seeing the way my friends were responding made me see how I responded when my mom told me. I still feel angry, very angry in fact, but maybe I could have responded better. My mom already felt bad about it as it is and I just made it worse. Thinking about the way I should have responded wasn’t helping anything, so, I silenced my phone and curled up on my bed.

Before I knew it, I was waking up and it was morning. I really didn’t want to get up, so I just lay there on my bed. Today was the day that I was leaving everything I knew behind and moving two states away. All I want to do is go back to bed and pretend that none of this was happening. This was going to be the worst day of my life.